A Worthy Character
The first sure symptoms of a mind in health are rest of heart and pleasure found at home. ~Young
Are You An Overall Success In Your Home?
Just what is a “domestic queen”? She is a woman who has a neat and orderly home, has well-behaved children, has nutritious meals served on-time, and is an over-all success in her career in the home. She is a woman who has a good attitude about her work and place in the home, and finds satisfaction in her duty. Her function as a Domestic Queen gains its success from her worthy character, her role as a woman, her inner happiness, and her glory in her work. Any woman can keep a clean house, but it takes someone special to turn it into a queenly, regal calling.
The Qualities of a Domestic Queen
The qualities of a domestic queen are varied. She is first of all an understanding wife and good listener, she is a devoted mother who takes an interest in her children’s welfare and sees to their spiritual, as well as physical growth. (These traits are discussed more fully in other areas of the book.) The last trait of a Domestic Queen is that she is a successful homemaker – and this is what most of our discussion is about in this lesson.
A Domestic Queen is skilled in the feminine arts of cooking, sewing, cleaning, organizing, management, childcare, finances, and interior design. (I would add gardening, canning, and remodeling skills to the list, but that is just my opinion.) What ever she does, she does it well, going beyond just the bare minimum. She may not be THE best cook, or THE most devoted mother, or THE most perfect housekeeper, but she succeeds in her overall duty. She manages her time and values wisely and balances her time to meet needs.
Domestic Queens are not ordinary run-of-the-mill women. They add homey touches to their work with things that please the senses and make a person feel welcome and loved. A warmth of Spirit permeates her household as if you walked in from clouds to a bright sunny day. She radiates understanding, love and happiness and makes the home a place her man wants to come home to.
Success to her is gauged by her fulfilling her position in her home. She is not ashamed of her job, but looks upon it as the most important career she could strive to excel at. Her work is not boring – but satisfying. She is confident and does not need to seek affirmation in the world of men. She lacks nothing of value.
The greatest tool any one of us has is our attitude. Attitude makes all the difference between success and failure. See if your attitude is in place with some of these difficult situations:
How To Find Happiness in Homemaking
- Accepting Drudgery: Lets face it…some parts of homemaking are just plan dull if not downright nasty, but they still need to be done. Each individual task may not be so hot, but you can still find happiness in your overall accomplishment. Bring some joy with you into the task in the form of music, listening to tapes, thinking about something else, or just thinking about getting the job done!
- Leave Yourself Time: If you want to be successful at your work you will need to be there. In other words, don’t crowd yourself with too many outside activities. (This was my problem for years – I was too diversified and never did anything well.) The first thing you need to do is check to see if you are doing too many of your husband’s masculine jobs. Speak to him about your roles (read chapter on same subject) and the division of labor. Next, pare down and limit outside-the-home commitments. Lastly, watch out for in-the-home time-wasters like tv, telephone, reading, or attention to one skill to the exclusion of others.
- Go the Second Mile: We are all familiar with this doctrine – apply it to your profession at home. Many women are never fulfilled in their role because they do only what’s necessary to get by. Things are never quite where they want them (but they are not as bad as so-and-so!).
Fundamentals of Good Homemaking
There are a few fundamental tools that may make the difference in success or failure.
- 1. Concentrate: Think about what you are doing and work with a plan. Save daydreaming for some of those boring jobs.
- 2. Simplify: If you have to much to take care of you will always be behind. Work on getting rid of clutter and unnecessary knick-knacks, clothes, toys, papers, magazines, or anything that has no place of its own.
- 3. Organize Things: Each thing needs a place to call home, and it needs to be put there when not in use.
- 4. Organize Work and Commitments: This is where you need some sort of daily plan and guide. There are many methods of doing this. Read some books on the subject or search online.
- 5. Prioritize Values: This will guide you in your daily decisions. You may value a clean house and you may value lunch out once a week, but which is the higher priority? The answer to this will color your decision about what to do Tuesday at 12:30. You may value your ministry at the computer 🙂 and you may value home-cooked food…get the idea?
- 6. Diligent Effort: I am nearly convinced that a lot of our problems with failure come down to just not jumping in and getting to work. Use the ol’ elbow grease.
- Make Him Comfortable: What good is all this work if you shriek when your husband sits on the bed? His home is his haven and castle. (If you are the queen, guess who’s king.) Don’t make him feel as if he is adding to your burden, messing things up, and just being a general nuisance-around-the-house.
The Domestic Queen finds joy in bearing children (and raising them). Feminine nature has a natural instinct to have and care for little ones. Don’t let the hype of our age rob you of this joy or shame you into embarrassment because you want to have and rear children.
Meal preparation ranks high on the list of priorities in the household. This is an area where advance planning pays off. Failure to plan means a loss of nutrition and flavor. Groundmeat Helper again! A planned well-done meal takes very little more time, but the benefits are tremendous. Men like to come home to the smell of something simmering on the stove or baking in the oven. Take time to set the table and eat together as a family.
Dress For Your Role
Don’t forget to dress for your role. Mrs. Andelin suggests a cotton house-dress worn with an apron. (An apron with large pockets is indispensable!) You can still look feminine as you go about your business.
Watch Out For These Flaws
1. Self-centeredness: Not paying attention to the needs of others, but only your own pleasures.
2. Lack of organization: Easy to conquer with some effort!
3. Lack of knowledge: Not knowing what to do or when to do it was the biggest obstacle I had to overcome. I studied a lot and asked a lot of questions.
4. Lack of a sense of responsibility: Usually a failure to do the work that is yours.
5. Laziness: Self explanatory, but don’t be too harsh in this until you check out your energy level and then seek to correct flaws in your diet. Add exercise, vitamins and herbs to your daily routine – and get off the excess weight if this is the problem. What is called “laziness” may just be lack of motivation or even depression. Pray and see if an answer doesn’t present itself.
Please share this if you like it!
Paula Rutherford said:
Leane, your last several posts have been spot-on with what I haven been discussing with my Spiritual Director. I wonder if he has been reading your blog. Haha!
Wouldn’t that be neat?! 🙂
Renee VanderPutten said:
Boy, this came at a bad time! 🙂 All day yesterday the baby was fussy, so I went to bed early. But guess what? He woke up at 9:30 and stayed up till midnight, but was restless and fussy the rest of the night! Domestic Queen I am not!!! Today I am a grouchy bear with cranky kids! 🙂 What a valley of tears… I know Fr. Vdp is reading this and laughing. Maybe I should go to Africa for a while so I can appreciate my posh life here a little more! 🙂
I think we can all relate, Renee. Life ebbs and flows and we have to roll with the punches. The trouble is when we begin to get discouraged and lose our peace about it. We can only do so much. We have the ideal…we know what we are striving for. But life has so many facets….especially raising a family. It’s all ok. How much you will appreciate those days when things run smoother and the “domestic queen” is on the rise again! 🙂
“Our confidence in God must go at least that far: to believe that He is good enough and powerful enough to draw good from everything, including our faults and our infidelities”… (and our bad days).