Wonderful books by Father Kinsella:
The Wife Desired
The Man For Her


Since humility is the foundation for all virtue, it is not surprising 
that it is the requisite for a sense of humor. Humility is the proper 
and correct appraisal of ourselves. We are the creatures of God. Of 
ourselves we are nothing. Whatever we are or have is from Him and 
His. Because we are able to see ourselves in proper perspective, we 
are able to laugh at ourselves as well as at others. Our foibles and 
fancies and past blunders are a source of amusement to ourselves 
as well as to others. We are not completely unremunerated 

I have never forgotten the scene of a small boy crying with a 
banana in his mouth and a loaf of bread under his arm. Too many 
of us go through life in this comic fashion, sad-eyed-Sams with 
God's blessing all about us. On the other hand many wonderful 
people keep their cheerfulness with one foot in the grave and the 
other on a banana peel. If sick people can remain cheerful, how 
ashamed the rest of us should feel for being wet blankets.

The real difference between a gloomy Gerty and a cheerful person 
is that the latter is tuned into the harmony of God's never ending 
and always new symphony. The gloomy Gerty is out of tune and 
full of static, a nuisance to herself and to all within earshot.

We must admit that there is an undertone of tragedy to real humor, 
as is evidenced in the works of Dickens. However, a sense of 
humor is productive of a cheerful attitude toward life.

The living are more attractive than the dead. The interested wife is 
interesting because she is animated to the joy of living. Gayety 
appeals to all. The gay wife is a pleasure to her husband. She is a 
pearl of great price.

The wife who has a sense of humor will make a much more stable 
wife as well as a much more lovable and desired one. She is 
safeguarded against many repelling characteristics. Conceit and a 
sense of humor do not get along together very well. Adolph Hitler 
was not famous for a sense of humor, nor are any of the other 
tyrants, who plague the world.

Some people are perfectionists. They want to do things perfectly 
all the time. Because of their aim they are in a dither with 
themselves and others too frequently. A wife who is a perfectionist 
must watch herself. Unless she be on guard, she can easily commit 
one of the mortal sins of marriage by nagging her husband. A 
sense of humor will temper this tendency and save her from 
becoming a veritable shrew.

Possessing a sense of humor the wife is prevented from getting too 
excited over the idiosyncrasies of her husband. She can see the 
amusing side of things and thus is saved from many heartaches. 
Besides, because she is humble, she is less sensitive. 
Consequently, it is hard for anyone to hurt her. She will have little 
temptation to go around brooding over real or imagined slights. 
For the give and take of every day life with her husband she is well 

6. THE WIFE DESIRED IS A COMPANION TO HER HUSBANDvintage_love_romance_couple_in_a_loving_embrace_necklace-raf56aa49708c4270bbb3c09abb236580_fkoep_8byvr_5121

The wife desired is the companion of her husband. Hand in hand 
they walk through life sharing their joys and sorrows. Together 
they stand against the world. They have secrets shared with no one 
else. Their union goes beyond that of friendship, for in it are 
found the little intimacies of lovers. Together they meet life 
fortified with each other. Their hearts leap for gladness in the 
merry month of May of their lives. In the grey December their 
sorrows are softened with the comfort of carrying each other's 
burden. No pain can equal the pain of the loss of each other. Their 
loneliness when death takes the other has no counterpart in this 
vale of tears.

Marriage is a partnership in the business of living. Just as most 
phases of life are specialized, so marriage itself is specialized. To 
the husband fall certain obligations, to the wife others. He must 
bring home the bacon. She upholds her end of the bargain by 
being the queen of the home. "As the sun when it rises upon the 
world in the high places of God. so is the beauty of a good wife for 
the ornament of her house." Ecclus. 26, 21.

In this chapter we consider a number of aspects of married life 
which may seem to have little or no reference to companionship. A 
girl contemplating marriage and especially the phase of 
companionship which it brings may wonder what sewing, cooking, 
and housework can have to do with companionship. The answer in 
a nutshell is that, unless the wife takes care of her end of the 
bargain, there will be little companionship.

If the husband is irresponsible and does not support the family, 
how can there be the normal companionship of marriage? 
Likewise, if the wife is remiss in the specialized chores which are 
her lot in life, she will make a very poor companion. In other 
words, the husband's support of the home and the wife's cooking 
and housework are the basis upon which it is possible for them to 
build a companionship without which marriage is a bleak affair. As 
we have already said, marriage is a partnership, and 
companionship is the reward beyond reckoning for those who 
accomplish the duties befalling them as partners in a glorious 

Suppose that a young lady married a man unequipped for and 
irresponsible about his obligations. After a few days of 
honeymoon--he did not have the cash for a more extended one--
they returned to live with her parents. He had a few more days of 
freedom, she understood, before getting back to his job. The first 
day or two passed well enough: but then she became worried. As 
she busied herself about the house under mother's watchful eye, 
her man seemed unconcerned about the future. As the days went 
by, his naps on the davenport became more frequent and 
prolonged. She could not hide her anxiety any longer, so she asked 
him whether he was going back to his job soon. "What job?" he 
frowned up at her. It did not seem that he had a job at the time, 
but, like Micawber, he felt that one might turn up soon.

To be sure, a wife in this position would be in for a very difficult 
marriage. I have seen very many men of this type--lazy, selfish, 
irresponsible, and as well prepared for marriage as a jackrabbit. 
Occasionally, he will be a very likable individual. He is good 
natured and easy going and dances like a gigolo--a wonderful 
fellow with whom to pass a holiday at the lake, but not a man to 
settle down within the partnership of marriage.

Let us return to the wife. After all, she is our wonderful subject. 
Again we can imagine the opposite case in which the wife was 
delinquent. The husband was a fine, responsible young man. He 
was industrious and had saved money for his marriage. In fact, he 
had bought a home albeit with a fat mortgage. After ten days of 
honeymooning they returned to their little home. He had several 
more days vacation before returning to work. It was summer, and 
they were going to make the most of it at the beach. The wife 
suggested the first day that, instead of wasting time in the kitchen, 
they have a sandwich and milk shake on their way. They could 
thus have more time at the beach. The husband thought it was a 
good idea.

On the way home in the middle of the afternoon the wife 
mentioned that Aunt Susie wanted them over for dinner that night. 
Remember Aunt Susie? She went all out for us in the generosity of 
her wedding present. Splendid. Aunt Susie's it was.

The next day and the next it was the same story--clever 
maneuvering away from the kitchen. By now the husband 
wondered why he did not save construction costs on the home by 
eliminating the kitchen This poor little wife could just about 
manage to boil water. She had never cooked a thing in her life and 
did not evidence any concern for the future.

Although these two imaginary cases are extreme, do not think that 
they are out of this world. One would think that a girl would pride 
herself on being able to cook, to sew, and to keep house. 
Sometimes an over efficient and fussy mother keeps her daughter 
from having a chance to learn these things. More often her 
inefficiency indicates an indolent and even selfish girl. She 
prefers to let her mother spoil her by waiting on her hand and foot, 
while she ensconces herself on a sofa with a book and bonbons. Of 
course, many of these girls rise to the occasion with their marriage 
and learn to be efficient wives in respect to the home. The love of 
her husband and children does the trick. The worst offenders in 
this important phase of marriage are those who stagnate after 
marriage and lose interest in their homes.

One instance comes to mind in which the husband would come 
home from work and wash several days dishes and tidy up the 
kitchen. He had hoped to shame his wife into a realization of her 
position. She merely laughed at him. She was slovenly in the care 
of her child. When she got around to changing the baby's diaper, 
she was more than likely to throw it into a corner to remain there 
for some distant future reference. This woman did little more than 
visit her girl friends all afternoon and gossip with them. She 
flounced into the home a few minutes before her husband's return 
from work. Her preparation of dinner consisted of opening a can of 
beans, unwrapping some cold cuts, and placing on the table a loaf 
of chaff and straw dust commonly called bread by a generation 
unfamiliar with the joys of eating homemade bread. Had this 
woman married another Okie it is possible that they could have 
been happy. Not many people can live in a pigsty like this and be