This is from a real, live mother of 12 who lost over 100 lbs! So listen up!
“Set goals.” “Make a New Year’s Resolution.” “Make your goals huge so you’ll have the passion to aim for them.”
Sound familiar? We’ve all heard the goal-setting gurus proclaim different methods to set goals and reach them but so many of us have failed with their methods that we tend to give up and think, “what’s the use?” I’ve felt that way before, yet I used goals to lose over 100 pounds.
At times I felt almost embarrassed that my goal-setting methods didn’t fit the prescribed form. I knew that if I set a goal of losing 100 pounds I would give up before I started. That took too much emotional energy, especially as a More to Lose person. Deep down I had a dream of losing 100 pounds. But that couldn’t be the star I aimed for when I weighed 258 pounds.
Instead I told myself “the next decade of pounds.” In other words, when I weighed 258, I wanted to get into the 240’s. Next the 230’s. I did that all the way down.
In looking back, I can now see why it worked for me. That’s all the belief I had at the time.
To start out I couldn’t even admit to myself that I wanted to lose 100 pounds. It was too painful, too overwhelming and too shameful (not true, but that’s how I thought). I didn’t even tell anyone outside of my immediate family that I was beginning an exercise program. I felt private about it and didn’t want to share my hopes.
I now believe that helped me stay focused. When we share our excitement and breathlessly outline our plans to other people, we get the same physical, emotional release and good feelings as if we’d already done the thing we’re planning. Our brain can’t tell the difference between us talking about it a lot and doing it.
We lose energy and drive. We can even become addicted to the planning and sharing stage and never move on to the DOING stage.
So here are two keys to help you with your weight loss goals in 2014:
1) Set smaller goals along the way. Set goals that you truly believe you can reach. Make a plan to get to the smaller goal and work the plan. Then move the goal line a little further down the field as you go along.
2) Stay quiet about it. That doesn’t mean you don’t talk about your goals or share what you’re doing. Choose wisely where you share it. Your spouse, a friend or two and the T-Tapp forum are good places to share. Just don’t disperse all of your energy and focus by excitedly talking about what you’re going to do with everyone you meet and go home satisfied.
If you’ve been avoiding the goal-setting scene because it seems pointless or overwhelming, try scaling back. It will remove the overwhelm. And you will feel the exhilaration and rush of reaching a goal over and over instead of just at the end of a long road. Maybe you’ll even get addicted to the rush of success.
Reaching my dream goal of losing over 100 pounds was really the accumulation of reaching lots of smaller goals. Try taking a baby step towards a doable goal, and be sure to celebrate when you reach it. Keep your eye on the closer prize, and before you know it you’ll be in the home stretch to your final goal.
Thank you for the inspiring message, Charlotte. I agree, setting goals in manageable chunks is best – for weight loss and just about anything else. Homeschooling, for example. My real goal was to educate my boys well enough that all would be scholarship winners for college. But really, the tangible goal was – “get through the day, with most of the hoped-for assignments completed.” Now as I end my homeschooling days (youngest off to college next year) I find that 3 of my 4 did well on entrance exams, and did win some excellent scholarships. Now, what they accomplished once they started college is maybe not so … but that was their responsibility. Now my daily goal is to “just drag them across the finish line!” First college graduation should take place in May. Yeah!
Hi Anne, that’s why I like my little list booklet I use each day. I just keep checking off those “daily chunks” that eventually add up to something in the end. 🙂