This post is a disclaimer.
I started this blog so that I could put out to you things that have helped me along the way. I do not necessarily agree with everything in every article that is written but if I post them I feel there are enough valuable points that bear listening to.
I think it is important to clarify that if you have a husband who has an abuse problem (alcohol, pornography, drugs or physical abuse) then these principles do not necessarily apply and may even cause some harm. So you need to decide, or get a good holy priest to help you decide, whether you need professional help.
BUT…if you are married to a regular wonderful man who is part virtue, part fault….be they annoying, in-your-face type faults, then the principles laid out in these articles can apply to you.
I also realize that it is not all the wife’s job to “fix” things. But when it comes right down to it, we can only change ourselves.
That is what this website focuses on….changing ourselves. And God will bless our efforts.
Well said Leane!
Years ago, I read a book called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. I shared the book with Fr Flood and he found it so powerful he contemplated it being part of pre-marriage counseling.
I personally found that by applying Catholic Morals to Dr Eggerichs Love and Respect theory, it changed the course of my marriage. As I applied the learning, in the beginning it was not met with great love from my husband. I used this as an occasion of humility and there was much to offer for others.
As time went on, and I showed him the respect at the levels I was learning, a wonderful change came over him and ultimately our relationship. It depend our love for each other. It allowed the end of his life to be lived confidently in love and ultimately his conversion.
It doesn’t happen overnight. There is a time of building Love, Respect, and trust in each other.
Your blog is so very helpful! As I get older I see I take things for granted and do not give them the thought they deserve. Your blog, for me, is a reminder of the simplicity of Love, God’s Love for every soul created. We are all precious in his eyes.
Thank You Leane for keeping the simplest rule alive with each word you write.
AND THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE.
Elly, your post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for sharing. I remember Fr. Flood giving sermons from the book Love and Respect. I have never read the book but one day I will. I have heard very good things about it. 🙂
Hi,
I’m so glad you added this! I’ve often thought that it’s debatable whether we have to presume virtue and God-seeking character in a spouse before being able to really *undertake* the selflessness of love. Always good to have the counsel of a holy priest who knows both parties, in relationship troubles. Your blog is an immense blessing to me, and I often read the posts to my husband. Your truths are universal, but yes, deviations from holy habits can shift the balance of power immensely. Thanks again for the jewels you share here.
Tiffany
Love your blog, Leane:) Have found it so inspiring and helpful many times!
Well,of course being a priest I wouldn’t ‘understand’ anything that you write about’usually quoting priests!!,but I think it is wonderfully inspirational and a great guide to holy living which I think we are all a little bit concerned about!
Thank you Leanne!
FR Angelo
Thank you for your kind comments, Tiffany and Maria. It means a lot. Father, thank you. You have been a great support and I very much appreciate your input! 🙂