The following questions will not only help you to fit yourself for leading a worthy and holy married life, but also enable you to choose a partner in marriage intelligently.
These qualifications apply to men and women alike.
1.Is your friendship morally beneficial? Are you morally better or worse for having been with him, and what can you expect in the future? Would marriage with him help you to observe God’s commandments and practice your religious duties faithfully?
2.Imagine a crisis in your life (poverty, sickness) that might demand a high quality of virtue to remain faithful to God. Would he be a help to the practice of such virtue?
3.Does he drink too much? Gamble?
4.Does he want to indulge in petting, passionate kissing, even at the expense of chastity?
5.Does he control his temper? Has he a sense of humor? Can he keep a secret?
6.Does he practice his religion?
7.What are his views on divorce, on having children, on Catholic education, on frequenting the sacraments?
8.Can you actually point out any definite virtuous qualities, or are they put on for your benefit now?
1.Is there at least a reasonable degree of similarity between you in regard to the recreations you like?
2.Could you both enjoy staying at home in the evening, especially when children come?
3.Are there any habits now that not only get on your nerves but which you find extraordinarily difficult to overlook?
4.Do you both fit into about the same kind of social life?
5.Does he get along with your family and you with his?
6.Have you both sufficient health for marriage?
7.What are his habits of life: cleanliness, orderliness, good manners, good grammar?
8. Are you able to harmonize judgments on things that pertain to family life: food, kind of house, furnishings, etc.?
9. Have you the same religion and the same standards concerning its practice?
10. Have you the same attitude towards children and their education?
11. Do you feel at ease together, regardless of what you talk about? If you do not meet for some time, are you able to take up where you left off, with something of the naturalness of a family reunion, or do you have to try to work up an acquaintance all over again?
12. Has he a nagging or reforming disposition?
13. Do you see his failing, and are you willing to tolerate them? Does he admit them and is he willing to get over them?
14. With children in mind, would you say that this person would be just the right other parent for them?
III. Self – Sacrifice
1. Is your prospective companion thoughtful of others and has he the power of self-discipline?
2. In his home does he show thoughtfulness of parents and brothers and sisters, and do you get the impression that this is his regular attitude?
3. What little kindnesses, not only to you but to others, have you noticed in him?
4. When he is wrong, does he admit it and try to make up for it?
5. Does he easily and graciously pass over others’ mistakes?
6. Does he look for sympathy too much?
7. Can he give sympathy willingly, or does someone else’s trouble always bring out a greater trouble of his?
8. Does he show that he knows his temper, and that jealousy and other unpleasant traits ought to be controlled?
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Very good questions……my sweetie passed! <3 🙂
That is a great list. Solid questions all around. Going to use it myself (with slight modifications) if I run across a potential candidate.
Here’s to hoping you run across a potential candidate! An aside – I have heard rumblings of St. Therese, the Little Flower’s mother and father being canonized soon. From what I remember Mr. and Mrs. Martin met on a bridge as they were about to walk past each other. The rest became history….pretty important history! 🙂