from Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin
The feminine manner involves the movements of a woman’s body, the way she walks, talks, uses her hands, the sound of her voice, her facial expressions, and her laugh. The more distinct the difference between a woman’s mannerisms to a man’s, the more delightful it is to him. His mannerisms are strong, hard and firm, while a feminine woman’s are soft and delicate.
As important as the feminine appearance is, the effect will be a disappointment and even funny if it is not coupled with the feminine manner. If you are dressed in ruffles and frills, with hair and make-up just right, but you move in a hard, stiff manner with a loud voice you will be seen as a walking contradiction. Your manner needs to harmonize with your clothes.
Acquiring a Feminine Manner
When considering the feminine manner, pay attention to the differences between femininity and masculinity. Think of lightness, softness, delicateness and the associated actions that go with these terms.
Apply these principles in the following ways:
Your character shines through your facial features. If you have a soft, gentle character, your face will naturally match. If you have a hard, critical, impatient character you will have a hard time hiding this from the rest of the world. It will show on your face. Spend time working on your character. Practice smiling and having tender attitudes toward people.
Your conversation should reflect gentleness and kindness. You should show tenderness and sympathy when speaking of someone in unfortunate circumstances. If you think an unkind remark, keep it to yourself.
Avoid talking about people in a bad way. Think of something nice to say. Don’t get sucked into heated arguments.
Be quick to show tenderness and love, especially to children. Make kind remarks the rule rather than the exception.
A trait of the truly feminine woman is refinement which implies good social breeding. Traits of good breeding are tactfulness, courteousness, diplomacy, sensitivity, good taste and graciousness. Those lacking in refinement are rude, impolite, inconsiderate, crude, coarse, vulgar and unwholesome.
Avoid these traits of crudeness:
– Never use vulgar, profane, or foul language.
– Never pick your nose, scratch yourself or blow your nose in public.
– Never bring up subjects that are inappropriate.
– Never be rude or callous.
– Never shun or ignore people.
– Never be arrogant.
– Never be cheeky or nervy.
– Never impose on people.
Learn these skills of refinement:
– Dress with skill and taste.
– Apply makeup and style your hair in a becoming manner.
– Display good taste in furnishing and decor for your house.
– Be courteous to everyone you meet regardless of station or standing.
– Show consideration for the feelings and opinions of others.
– Freely give compliments and praise, especially when you know it will be appreciated.
– Take queues from your host and hostess about social behavior at parties.
– Show respect for another’s enthusiasm.
Is Beauty Necessary?
No! There are many beautiful women who fail miserably at femininity. They are arrogant, controlling, stiff, and masculine. They don’t inspire a man with any feelings of wonder. You don’t need to be beautiful to be feminine and charming.
Likewise, many women in the world are not exceptionally beautiful, but they can be successful at being fascinating women. They are soft, sweet, and make a man feel wonderful. Such a woman is beautiful to a man regardless of her physical shortcomings.
There are some women who are puzzling to those who are more beautiful. They are somewhat homely, but attract many men. Men find these feminine women perky, fun, cute, lovable, saucy, sassy, dainty, charming, and other highly fascinating traits. Such a highly feminine woman can cause those more beautiful to pale beside her.
You may feel that the absence of beauty is a stumbling block to your success as a fascinating woman. You must not let this deter you. However, if you are beautiful, don’t think this is all you need to succeed. Beauty really is only skin deep and of little consequence with the highly feminine woman.
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