Marriage is difficult. The daily irritations that rub, like sandpaper, can cause wounds that make it hard to love and respect the one who you are called to do just that…..love and respect.
Oh sure, we’ve picked up the books. We’ve made a few changes here and there. Things seemed to get better, then something hits the fan, and we are right back where we started. Round and round it goes. We’re tired of it! We want to just throw up our hands and say, “I give up! I am going to just shut down, live my life and he can live his!”
This is a temptation. Do you remember what St. Paul says? “I have run the race, I have fought the good fight.” I don’t think he meant to say “I have fought the good fight until I just couldn’t take it anymore” or “I have run the race…. until I got tired…nobody was paying attention and it didn’t seem to make a difference!”
Nope, we must never give up. I know that the struggles women have are very real. How do I know? Because I am a wife. I was raised in the city, my hubby is a country guy, I am a melancholic/sanguine, hubby is a choleric. On yes, and I forgot, he is a man, I am a woman. HUGE DIFFERENCES! It is not easy….. Our Lord never said it would be. 😛
You say you do your part, he doesn’t do his. You make the changes, he just stays grumpy and ill-tempered. You are the only one working on this relationship and he doesn’t care…..he’s not making any changes himself! You say, “I give up!”
I listened to a podcast recently. It was from the “Respect and Love” site.
Mr. Eggerich said in it that “you must be married to one pretty bad dude if he does not respond to you being more respectful and loving to him”.
It is true, there are a small percentage of men who are narcissistic and on the other hand, there are women who are divas. This situation can be very difficult because they just don’t see outside themselves.
BUT, if you are married to a regular guy, with regular faults, it is hard for me to believe that he will not respond to your efforts, if you are truly trying to change.
Remember, we can’t change him, we must accept and respect him. We must recall the things we loved about him when we first knew him. Sit down and write those things out. Make the effort, even if it doesn’t seem like it will help. God is not outdone in generosity! He will meet you more than halfway!
We should never give up seeking for ways to make our relationship better. It is what we are called to do.
So do not give up the good fight….run the race until the finish line! Be humble, search for answers.
Read the right books, talk to the right people. Do not talk to those who are giving you bad advice (and there are lots of those out there). They do much damage as they fan the fires of self-pity within ourselves. That is straight from the devil.
Yes, I know the struggles are real. The solutions are, too, if we keep looking and striving. It may not be overnight, but, in time, you will see that your perseverance has paid off!
Excellent, as usual!
I really love this article!
Thank you very much; it is very honest and very true. 🙂
Something I employ with literally anyone I want to love and keep in my life, is that when I feel like giving up… I give up. But I give up the stress, the worry, the bad feelings and the incident.
For example, if I’ve been having a bad day, I’m way behind schedule and Jon hurts his back doing weights and needs a massage, I get stressed out, so I give up. I give up on the schedule, I give up on stressing, relax, give him his massage, do as much as I can and start afresh the next day.
Don’t give up on people. Give up bad feelings, negative memories and stress.
Very good, thank you for sharing! 😊
That is awesome!!! Thank you!
I need to employ that idea more. Some days it seems very difficult.
Thank you for the reminder. 😉
If you hit that point where it feels hardest to let go of stress and work, ask yourself: What do I want to still have with me at the end of the week? My family and their love, or my deadlines and adrenaline rush? The “what do I truly want” question helps ground me when I’m mixing up priorities. 🙂