From The Wife Desiredby Fr. Leo Kinsella, 1950’s
Although sex is an important aspect of marriage, yet it is really a small part. Especially is this true in the marriages where all is well as regards sex. The companionship of marriage is what brings the real fullness of peace and contentment to a couple. And after all, peace and contentment are the real day in and day out ingredients of happiness.
The full flaming moments of ecstasy of love, rocketing a soul into the very presence of God, are few and far between for the average mortal. These moments are cherished as a glimpse of eternal things to come. Now we have not even the capacity to long endure them.
A human being is not very self-sufficient. A person needs others to fill the emptiness of his own being. Husband and wife fill this need for each other. They complement each other in this manner much more even than they do in any physical sense.
There is something beautiful about the companionship of man and wife as it bridges the years. Especially is this true for those who have kept something of the chivalry of the first days of their love.
Familiarity does not have to breed contempt. Perhaps it does among savages. The natural, easy familiarity between man and wife, springing from their daily companionship can easily remain, and does in very many instances, a fine influence in their lives.
All wives appreciate the little courtesies of respect and esteem from their husbands. Some do nothing to promote this attitude on the part of their husbands. A lady will receive attention and courtesy if she merits it, and if she is gracious enough to acknowledge the efforts of the male.
By nature a man has a deep-seated sense of respect, of chivalry for the lady. It does something for him to manifest this feeling. It helps to make him a better man.
At an early age, I was somewhat disillusioned about the female in this matter of chivalry. During high school years I rode the “E-l” in Chicago during the morning rush hour.
I shall never forget my first efforts to be courteous with the female passengers. I was almost trampled to death. It was impossible to show these women any deference. They had become callous. For them life was a matter of dog eat dog. They shoved and gouged and grabbed any preference before a man could offer it to them.
A man on the “E-l” during the rush hour had about as much opportunity to be chivalrous as a polite hog at a trough has of getting in a bite.
I have often wondered what kind of wives those little ladies became. Perhaps they were tired or confused at being thrown into the vortex of the economic struggle for survival. In a saner world they would have been at home, where the true nobility of their lives could find its proper environment for growth.
Intelligent couples never take each other for granted. Of course there is a natural easiness and relaxation in each other’s company shutting out any stiffness or lack of intimacy. The bright husband will never relinquish the prerogative of being a gentleman.
Thoughtfulness is his watch word. A kindness here and a consideration there go a long way to promote companionship with his wife. The opening of a car door for her, helping her with her coat, seating her at table, these and a dozen other little actions evidence his tenderness for her. She is precious to him, so he surrounds her with attentions.
What wife could be so dull as not to yearn for such interest? Then she makes an unobtrusive but very real effort to keep for her married life the chivalry of her days of courtship.
Many married couples never lose the evidence of chivalry and romance of their days of courtship. Actually all their married lives they court each other. So blessed with this disposition they walk through life leading each other to their eternal reward in loving companionship.
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Awesome post! It’s always something to strive for in our marriages…starting new every morning!
Loved this post! I want to court my hubby again๐!
Nice apron! Even though I am still not married, I believe that moms and wives are also like busy bees so the apron fits in every way:)
Very sweet post….need to raise more boys to this level of chivalry. And even if they meet those “calloused women” the author speaks of from time to time, the lady who would eventually become their wife will be greatly blessed by those courtesies taught by the parents years ago.
A man’s perspective here:
I jump at the opportunity to open my wife’s car door, or ANY door, not because she can’t do that, but simply for the art of the small gesture, which over time, adds-up to a grand gesture! I ought to reach for her chair more often, when we’re out dining.
I do these things – small and frequent gestures – as a constant indicator to her, that she is cherished, valued amongst others, and that she’s still the object of my fancy and desires.
Her appreciation of these gestures (by accepting them) demonstrates to me we’re on the same page. Simply – we VALUE each other in the smallest of details, which breeds lots of love and respect in the greater picture.
By giving and receiving in the small gestures, we re-affirm our mutual love and respect for each other, many times throughout each day. Therein is the gold.
Excellent! Thank you for your perspective!
^^^ and that is one of many reasons why I cherish this man.