The Surrendered Wife
Remember What Made You Fall in Love
Sometimes the things that we’re most attracted to at first become the things we find most irritating later on. Maybe you think he’s irresponsible now, but at first you enjoyed his great sense of fun.
Perhaps you were impressed with his success in business and now you wonder why you married a workaholic.
Nothing’s changed about your husband but your perspective.
Examine your complaints to see if you can re-frame them as qualities that you delight in. You’ll soon remember what made you fall in love with your husband.
Why Did You Marry Him?
Are you dismissing the talents he brings to the relationship because you don’t see them as valuable? If that’s the case, then you’re missing out on one of the biggest gifts of marriage — having reinforcements in the areas where you’re weak, and the benefit of two perspectives.
If you still think your husband is not as smart or capable as you, ask yourself why you married him. Answering that question will remind you that those traits are right before your very eyes, and that they’re there for your benefit.
For A Close Connection, Curb Your Urge to Communicate
You may have heard, just as I did, that the key to a good marriage is to communicate. I figured that if some communication was good, more was better.
I was dead wrong.
Even though I have a degree in communications, trying for years to “communicate” with my husband never got me the connection I craved. Instead, I found that my propensity to talk things out actually worked against me because so much of the time I wanted to talk about what he was doing wrong, or wasn’t doing at all.
Of course John and I still talk a lot — about serious and silly things. But now that I practice surrendering principles, we rarely have to “communicate.”
The result? Our emotional connection is better than ever.
Enough said.
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You have no idea how timely this is. Thank you! Buy my question: how did you
improve the communication if you talked less? What do you mean by surrendering principles?
In my opinion, surrendering principles means surrendering control…quit trying to control situations or people…particularly your husband. To “let go and let God”.
If your communication efforts are spurned, communicating in other ways besides talking is helpful. Doing activities with your husband, shoulder to shoulder, without any deep talking, is a great way to communicate your respect for him. Of course, this does not mean we eliminate those times we need to really talk. But a lot of times guys are uncomfortable talking about feelings… If they are, decide whether it is important enough to talk about. If not, leave it.
Thank you! The tricky part for me is deciding what is important and what is not. 🙂 I will definitely ponder your comments and post!
Sometimes its a double edged sword……What one loved could be still enjoyed, its just we want the opposite virtue to be activated too. 😛 And when its not, we feel at a loss to make up the difference since he is the man of the house.
For example a guy who is joyful and has a sense of fun and adventure, may be very fun to be with, but then you start to wonder where is the sense of timeliness. It is also important to be aware of others time schedules. And it is not one of his virtues, it may make the wife on edge sometimes. On the other hand, having a good-natured fellow is not bad either, one doesn’t usually want a stiff guy who just doesn’t know how to relax and have fun with you and the kids.
Very good read!
These necklaces are absolutely gorgeous!!!❤ My mother got one for her birthday, and now I plan to send one to a friend. So lovely!
Thank you Erin! 😊