Never stop doing the things that will sustain and revive your marriage!
100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson
1.Make his dreams… your dreams. Treasure them like your own. Ask him about what he hopes to do some day and let him know that you believe in his dreams… and him. Plan out together the steps you can take to make those dreams come true.
2. Be extravagant in your love. Go big. Pour out your heart generously.
3. Feeling edgy? Snappish? Droopy? It tends to come with the territory – just avoid taking it out on him. It’s not really his fault, after all. Speak his love language – what says love to him. And speak it often!
4. Ask him the kinds of things that make him feel loved by you. He might have an answer ready and he might not. If not, then ask if he’ll think about it.
Also, you can study him and watch for those things that seem to fill him up and make sure you’re saying it to him. Don’t make accusations. Ask questions,
5. Intertwine your lives wherever possible. Run errands, go for walks, curl up on the couch. Just seek to be together. Don’t wait for “date night” to find things you share in common.
A good friend recently confessed something to me. She struggled with jealousy….of me.
Really… jealous of me? How could that be? We’ve been friends for many years and she knows I’ve had my share of grief and trials. Nothing overly amazing in my life.
What was there to be jealous of? Then she came out with it: she was envious of the kind of husband I had. She wished hers was more like mine. ????
I could only stare at her. I sure didn’t get it. So she clarified. She couldn’t help but notice how much time my husband and I spent with one another.
The two of us are often found together – working in the yard, out on a walk, over at the cafe, or maybe standing in line at Costco. But always together.
It wasn’t like that with her husband. The two of them lived functional, but basically separate lives.
And she wished they had what we had. If only they were as closely connected as we were. If only her husband was like mine.
Now it was my turn to confide. All that time we spend together? It’s not only him. It’s me. Yes, it’s true. I’m nearly shameless when it comes to orchestrating time together. Any excuse will do. I’ll do whatever I can – to get close to him.
It can be up to me to make the move.
If I smell coffee brewing in the morning? (That man wakes up waaaay to early, if you ask me). I’ll drag myself out of my comfy covers to have a cup with him before he dives into his work.
If he’s off to run errands, I’ll run out to the truck and ask if I can come along. He gives me a grin and tells me to hop on in. Who cares if he’s only going to the farm supply store? It’s a Chicken-Feed Date and I’ll take it.
If he’s working in the garden, I’ll join him out in the green bean patch. We both weed. I talk the entire time. And he listens (I think).
And if it’s the end of the night and he announces that he’s heading to bed? Well, I’ll give him a wink and tell him to wait up, ’cause I’m coming too.
6. Forgive. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” ~ Ruth Bell Graham. This is one of the truest statements ever made. Decide you’re not only going to be his lover – you’re going to be his forgiver. Be quick to forgive and get good at it. You’ll probably have lots of opportunity to practice it.
7. Then forget. Once it’s been forgiven, put it behind you and never pick it back up again. Here’s the hard part: letting it go. Resist the temptation to grab it back and maybe even throw it at him when it happens again. I’m sorry, but this doesn’t count as true forgiveness. Forgive as God has forgiven you—as far as the east is from the west (Ps. 103: 12).
8. Cling to each other in the hard times. Don’t let trials pull you apart, but be sure they bring you closer together instead. This decision is best made before the trial comes.
When our daughter was born with severe brain damage, the hospital warned us that most marriages don’t make it through a tragic situation like ours. That thought terrified me. So we looked at each other and decided – right then and there – we were going to stick through it together.
9. Start each day with a smile and a kiss. What better way to begin? Set the tone for the day with a simple gesture of love for each other.
“The woman who can pass over his human frailties and discover things to genuinely admire, things which others fail to notice or appreciate, is a woman to be treasured. It is such a woman who wins his deepest and most tender affection. As she gives him admiration, he returns love.” – Helen Andelin
Take a peek at my book, Catholic Mother Goose!
Who can resist those little ditties, those lovely little sing-song verses called Nursery Rhymes! Songs and rhymes for young children have been passed down from generation to generation. They are fun, children love them, and they provide a warm, nurturing experience for the whole family.
This book gives us some lovely rhymes that can, and should, be committed to heart by your children. Not only will it provide all the benefits of reading and memorizing, but it will supply some simple reflections that will turn those little minds to what is most important in their life….their Catholic Faith.
Research shows children learn more in their first eight years than they do in the rest of their lives. This is a powerful time to teach them.
Most important, it is a crucial time for us, as those devout Catholic parents of old, to teach our children their Faith as they sit at our feet and learn from us.
So, parents, here is a teaching tool that can help! These are meaningful little rhymes that will provide an enjoyable way to teach your children and will enrich your home with Catholic culture!
Encourage your children to learn the poems in this book. Let them peruse the pages and look at the pictures. You will find that it will be a meaningful experience for all!
You can purchase it here.
How are you supposed to love best when this happens: What do you do when your husband does not fulfill his basic responsibility to provide for his family? Has no ambition to get a job to pay the bills? In fact, he who has the distorted view that God puts us where he wants us and we aren’t supposed to try to move forward or that is a sin? Who absolutely refuses to believe otherwise?! What do you do then?!?! 😞
You get counseling for both or yourself at least. Find out what you can do to keep the family going. Support his smallest effort. Get a priest you have talked to that he likes or trusts to come over for a dinner and then afterwards find a quiet spot to lay out the problems together to your husband. We can’t be lukewarm and do nothing, God will spew us out of His mouth and we can’t bury our treasure in the backyard as the Gospel says either.
Find someone who can lay out what you can do as a Catholic wife and mother on the practical level, the spiritual level and the temporal level.
And PRAY like there is no tomorrow…..so many men need prayers to be good fathers and husbands. And we are the ones to do it!
God bless and May Our Lady guide you!
Thank you and may God bless you for the advice you have given.
A very good read thank you!
“Support his smallest effort.”
This is a good idea, but after sixteen years I’ve learned that sometimes you have to be blunt. Don’t get him used to the idea that if he works a temp. job for two hours that it’s absolutely amazing, he’s the best person in the world, etc. You need to say something like, fine, OK, that’s good for today, but it’s still not a steady job and I’m expecting you do get one. Meanwhile, I’d just go start interviewing. That will wake him up plenty, and if he complains, then get a third party involved pronto to lay it on the line.
There comes a point when love must be tough. I, personally, think that it’s time for you to apply that tough love. It’s for everybody’s good.