The following excerpts discuss that coveted “C” word – Communication.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open – Good Wife’s Guide, Darlene Schacht
A lot of women will say that their husbands don’t talk enough, but yet he was plenty talkative while they were dating. What gives?
A nagging wife will often use methods of shame, blame, criticism and guilt to get her way, and as a result men build walls of protection around them.
We don’t mean to do it, but when feelings get hurt or when we feel neglected we tend to act out.
Unfortunately nagging can become a habit for some. After a while, the methods of communication that once worked stop working, and the couple is left void.
If you want your husband to trust you with his heart as he once did, it’s important to practice self-control, hold your tongue, and replace criticism with kindness. Listen when he talks and make an effort to show him respect.
Cools His Feelings – Fascinating Womanhood, Helen Andelin
Any attempt to change your husband can dampen his feelings for you. Even only an implication that he doesn’t measure up to your standards can cool his attitude.
Your open suggestion that he needs to improve can lead to his rejection of you. This can be the beginning of a break in communication which can last for hours or even days.
He may avoid the situation by spending a great amount of time away from home with his friends, or in other interests or pursuits. Not only can love be cooled, in some cases it can be destroyed.
When a wife doesn’t give her husband the freedom to be himself, when she constantly pushes and nettles him to change, it can cause the destruction of a happy marriage.
Communication, The Key To Intimacy? – Surrendered Wife, Laura Doyle
Forget the notion that “more communication” is the key to an intimate marriage. Some things that are perfectly reasonable to discuss with women are not so comfortable for men.
Talking about feelings is not a popular pastime in the male culture, so to be polite, don’t ask about them, but continue to share yours.
Generally, men talk far less each day than women, so don’t expect your husband to want to talk as much as you.
The truth is, the less you communicate your complaints, negative thoughts, and criticisms to your husband, the better your intimacy will be, and the stronger your marriage.
Withholding information from your husband may feel dishonest, but it’s really being mature and polite. Men have a culture all their own and being a diplomat in it will improve domestic relations dramatically.
One who, in order to please God, perseveres in prayer although he finds no consolation in it, but rather repugnance, gives Him a beautiful proof of true love. –Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, Divine Intimacy
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Good thoughts, thank you!