The discreet wife soon discovers her influence with her husband soars, because his heart can trust her.
He may be a quiet accountant, a bold firefighter, an expert plumber, a smart lawyer, a good doctor, a successful salesman, or any number of other professions, but there is one need that transcends all of his character traits and career choices: He needs to be able to trust you with all of his heart.
He won’t use those words, but that’s his root concern.
Does he know, beyond any doubt, that you are completely trustworthy? Is he confident that, regardless of who you may be talking to, you will never betray his trust, divulge information he feels is sensitive, or reveal anything he would want to be kept between you and him? (Of course, this is not to be understood as ever suggesting that sin should be covered up.)
Are you a woman of discretion?
You have close female friends, and there are extended family relationships that are also close. You want to be open and transparent with them, don’t you?
You can be, but the woman of discretion never crosses the line when it comes to her husband’s privacy and other matters he doesn’t want to be discussed outside of his “inner circle,” which is you and him.
Be ready for challenge. There will be people in your life who will try to break down the wall of loyalty you have for your husband, feeling that because of the long-standing relationship you’ve had with them, it’s their right to be let in on every detail. Don’t let others dictate where that line of separation is.
Let loyalty and faithfulness to your marriage and to your husband’s wishes establish the line.
Regarding the trustworthy wife, the Bible puts it like this, “His heart safely trusts in her.” (Proverbs 31:11)
Are you a safe place for him? There’s no safety without trust, and without trust, there can be no true loyalty.
Life is a field of battle for a man. Regardless of his profession, he can only move forward with confidence if he never has to question that you “have his back.”
When your husband knows he is married to his most trusted confidant, your influence soars.
If you’ve not been discreet in the past, then you’ve damaged that trust. But take heart, it can be restored.
Go to your husband and ask him to forgive you, telling him he will never have to worry – ever – again.
If you’ve walked as a woman of discretion, your husband already trusts you but will still enjoy hearing you tell him that you are loyal and behind him 100%.
Every husband wants to be able to trust his wife implicitly. It’s in your power to ensure that his heart can safely trust in you.
Dear Lord, I pray that I increasingly become a mature, discreet woman. I pray that my husband feels a sense of security and complete trust in me. Help me to guard those things that he wants to be kept private and between only us. Help me always to be his trusted confidant, and prompt me by Your Holy Spirit if I ever begin to speak in a manner that would compromise his trust in me. In Jesus’ name, amen.
“Friendship needs to be invested in. It needs to be worked on and nurtured. Do that for your most important relationship, your marriage. Find things you both enjoy and do those things. Talk, laugh, work and play together. Know that marriage is like a long, slow walk together. More a marathon than a sprint. So just keep walking. Together.” -Lisa Jacobson https://amzn.to/2WbWlS1 (afflink)
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S Swendsen said:
A little tidbit every wife needs to be reminded of now and then.
Good read, it goes well with the reading about having also a trusted women friend that one can air out problems too, like one’s mother or very close older lady. The one who you can trust who is out to help your marriage last. So while discreet is beautiful, one good friend can also help make this work as well. Sometimes discreet can hide a nagging problem that becomes overwhelming as the years go by and could have been diffused while it was only a spark.
Very good, Mary! Thank you!
It’s funny. I have the reverse problem in my marriage. My H talks to anyone anytime about any and everything. He is a regular gossip. It took me years to realize that everything I told him, my personal thoughts and feelings, my deepest fears, my childhood difficulties, was being regurgitated in various social interactions. I finally had to shut up and stop confiding anything to him, and also tell him to please not repeat to others what I’ve said. We all have our challenges (crosses) I guess.