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Tea-Time With Finer Femininity ~ Career vs Community & 41st Grandbaby!


I am a young woman and wish to have a Catholic marriage in my future. I am teaching at the moment and live by a good Catholic community.

I have the opportunity to pursue my degree in another area which I like much better than teaching. This would take up to 3 years but I would have to move and  would not have the Catholic community close by. This would reduce my chances of meeting a good Catholic spouse.

But if I don’t get married, I would want to establish my career in something that I like. Should I leave my community and do this?


“Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you.”

I understand your quandary. Those are hard decisions. But when one makes these decisions with the health of their spiritual life in the forefront, it becomes a lot easier.

When I was a young woman (and I have written about this), I made the choice of leaving my very good job and eventually leaving my home to go and work at a Catholic Shrine for a dear priest who, I knew, would help me to grow in my faith. I was no longer making the money I could have been, I left hearth and home so I could grow closer to God and thus find the answers to my own vocation.

It wasn’t easy and the path wasn’t smooth but I met my husband there and we got married. It paid off greatly!

My husband, on the other hand, was a hard-working young man and was living with his parents, working at the neighboring greenhouse. He had saved up his money and spent all of if ($10,000) on blueberry bushes! He had a dream and could see the future before him.

The blueberry bushes were flourishing and the crop would be bountiful when the time came! It took three years for them to come to fruition. It would provide a great income and it was something my husband loved to do….grow things!

His family lived out in the boonies. It was a beautiful and scenic place. BUT they did not have the sacraments close by. His family chose to go to a reverent and traditional Mass that was 2 hours away each Sunday!

My husband decided that he needed the sacraments daily. So he asked the priest that I was working for if he could come and work for him….and thus be able to go to daily Mass, daily benediction, confession often, community rosary, etc.

My husband gave his blueberries to his parents. He walked away from his dream…for another and more important one! And his parents were blessed with his generosity in their old age.

And God has blessed us with eleven children and 41 grandchildren (the 41st born yesterday!) Was it worth it? Does it pay off to seek first the kingdom of God? You bet it does!

So…in life’s decisions, take stock of your intentions. Is it to seek God first?

We need the sacraments, we need a community, if at all possible. When you are single, you have the opportunity to be located where it is most efficacious for your spiritual life. Stay close to a community. This is what I would do. And, in the age we live in (really, though, at all times), we are desperately in need of grace! We can seek other ways to pursue our dreams in this digital and opportunity-filled age.

God will greatly reward you for any sacrifice you make…for Him!


Margy was about 10 days overdue with her second baby. We were all a little nervous about this birth as her last one was long and arduous, having to be transferred to the hospital midway through the labor. She was still able to deliver naturally but it was brutal!

So…when I got the call at 1:30 am and headed into the birth center, it was with prayer and hope, but not being able to expel all the fears, that I went to be with her.

She did well and delivered at 5:20 am. A little baby girl entered the world, Rose Elizabeth! Their little Sean is now a “big bruvver”!

A few pictures….

When children are taught that their chores can be prayer….that the drudgery can be applied to the sufferings of some other child somewhere, who has no bed to make, who must spend his nights curled up in a hole, shivering, starved, unhappy, and with no one to care for him…those same chores can be changed into great spiritual joy! -Mary Reed Newland, How to Raise Good Catholic Children (afflink)


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Author Mary Reed Newland here draws on her own experiences as the mother of seven to show how the classic Christian principles of sanctity can be translated into terms easily applied to children even to the very young.

Because it’s rooted in experience, not in theory, nothing that Mrs. Newland suggests is impossible or extraordinary. In fact, as you reflect on your experiences with your own children, you’ll quickly agree that hers is an excellent commonsense approach to raising good Catholic children.

Fr. Lawrence Lovasik, the renowned author of The Hidden Power of Kindness, gives faithful Catholics all the essential ingredients of a stable and loving Catholic marriage and family — ingredients that are in danger of being lost in our turbulent age.

Using Scripture and Church teachings in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format, Fr. Lovasik helps you understand the proper role of the Catholic father and mother and the blessings of family. He shows you how you can secure happiness in marriage, develop the virtues necessary for a successful marriage, raise children in a truly Catholic way, and much more.

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