The wonderful priest who gave us our pre-marriage instruction told us it would be the little things that make or break our marriage. Here are some little things that can make a big difference in your relationship!
My own rendition based on an excerpt from the book 100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson
Do unto others….
We hear it a lot but it is profound. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This goes especially for your spouse…..always choose love, above all things.
Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Small irritations are not that important. We need to let them go. If we don’t, they build up until they become a mountain that is hard to climb over. He doesn’t take out the garbage? He is always late for dinner? He is always leaving things around? He goes hunting when you would rather he stayed home? Truly, these things are not important. Overlook them and get on to looking at his better side and being thankful! The rewards of a grateful heart are many!
The big stuff may take a little sweat.
There are sometimes big things that DO count. Don’t push those ones down. Try to work these ones out. This can be difficult but it is worth it. The big things need to be dealt with or walls will begin to build between you both. Walls are not good and get thicker as the years go by. If talking to him about these things is not working, pray for a different solution. Our Lord will answer a sincere heart. Often the answers may be different than what we expect…so be open.
Greet him when he comes home with a loving smile.
A smile speaks volumes. Let your husband know you are happy to see him by smiling at him. Even when you are tired or have had a bad day. You want your husband to love coming home to you, don’t you? Put your troubles aside just for a moment to make his day a wonderful one with a warm, loving smile. He probably didn’t get a lot of smiles out there in the world, so let yours be one of the few and the very best that he can look forward to each day!
You need to make it a priority to pray for your hubby!
Every day you need to lift your husband up in prayer. Ask St. Joseph to help him to be a good husband and father. He needs you, who are his closest companion, to lift him up each day to our Heavenly Father. Ask Our Lord to protect him and to protect your marriage. What a wonderful gift a praying wife is!
Remember he’s not your girlfriend.
This is important to remember. He doesn’t always relate to the needs of a woman, so don’t be unreasonable in your expectations. He won’t always understand what you are feeling or what you are going through. He is different, he is a man. His heart and his mind work differently than ours. Don’t demand that he be something he can never be.
Make him your best friend.
Friendship needs to be invested in. It needs to be worked on and nurtured. Do that for your most important relationship, your marriage. Find things you both enjoy and do those things. Talk, laugh, work and play together. Open up to him about your dreams….and make sure you ask about his own dreams.
Accept him….don’t change him.
Remember why you married him. He has many good points and he is a good man just as he is. Yes, he has faults. Don’t you? Leave the changing up to God. His work is way more efficacious than yours ever could be. Just. Love. Him.
Work on becoming a wiser woman each day.
Your husband relies on your wisdom. He would like to count on you for advice and insight. There are ways to give this advice…..learn how to do it so as never to offend. Wait to be asked.
Overlook his mistakes.
Of course your hubby will mess up sometimes. Is his communication lousy? Does he forget things that mean a lot to you? Does he not follow through? This all can be frustrating but we need to give him room to make mistakes, forgive him and love him anyway. Don’t hold it against him. After all, he is human, like we are.
“A man feels ‘successful’ when he knows his woman is behind him – no matter what his other accomplishments may be. He needs to know that she believes in him…That she thinks he’s a terrific husband (not perfect – just terrific). A first-rate guy. And, if there are children, that he’s a fine dad too….That she thinks the world of him, even though he might mess up or make mistakes.” – Lisa Jacobson
Here is a simple outline to ensure we are carrying out our daily duties as best we can on this road we travel as Catholic women. This is my own list of what I deem the basics of a successful day. It is an ideal I strive for. You may have your own plan, and I hope you do. If this can help in any way, then I have accomplished my goal with this video.
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Thank you, Meghan Foshay!
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A blest 10th day of Christmas to you! Thank you for these reminders, they are timely.
I’m glad that advice works in your marriage, but it may need a lot of adjusting in marriages, for example, where the husband does not appreciate or even want to hear his wife’s “wisdom”, or where a husband has no desire to be his wife’s friend, let alone her “best friend”. I found it sweetly amusing that, just after warning us that we aren’t supposed to treat our husbands as our close women friends, we are supposed to make them our “best friends”. Not all husbands want to be burdened by having to hear their wives talk about their desires and dreams, and some husbands would rather share those things with their male friends who will be better able to relate to them. Frankly, often our feminine hopes and dreams seem ridiculous to men, and we do them a disservice by expecting them to listen without responding in a way that might feel like a dash of cold, cruel water. After all, they are not women!
I think adjusting is where it’s at. Take what you can to improve yourself or your relationship and leave the rest. I don’t think blanket statements can be used when it comes to individuals and couples. Except maybe one “Do unto others….”
Thank you for your input!
I love this post so much! In marriage you definitely have to find ways to consciously love each other through thick and thin. I know I’m not always the funnest person to be married to and I’m constantly thanking my husband for putting up with my nonsense. Likewise, he’s always looking for ways to be helpful around the house and make my life easier. Even before we were married, we had some good conversations about how we both communicate and how our brains work differently. I think it made all the difference to talk it out before we fully committed to each other. Great post and great advice! Thanks for sharing!