The July day was sunny, the scent of petunias wafted in the air. The air was cooling off a bit and the breeze softly wafted through the branches of the trees. Summer was at its peak.
But Helen was not enjoying the breeze or the flowers.
Helen was tired. Not for any particular reason. Yes, it was summer, the kids were done with their home school and, instead of life slowing down, things seemed to have sped up.
June and July had been particularly hot, they didn’t have a pool, so the children spent time indoors during the heat of the day. Without the schedule of school, mayhem seemed to reign with more frequency than Helen liked.
Helen’s husband, Mark, was working lots of hours. Summer was the time his work became very demanding because he was in the construction field. So he was not around much to help out. And when he got home he was tired and even cranky at times.
“Such is life,” Helen sighed. Lately, things hadn’t been working out the way she had imagined. Instead of enjoying the so-called “lazy days of summer” she was fighting inner turmoil. She was struggling through the days, battling thoughts of self-pity and complaining.
“Why can’t the kids be quiet now on again?”
“Dirty diapers, dishes, it’s discouraging,” she thought. “And life is only going to get more and more hectic as the years go by. I just don’t know if I can do this!”
This day had been particularly trying so when rosary time came around, amid the slouching children and wriggling baby, she implored Our Lady to help her.
The next day Helen woke up with a terrific pain in her side that didn’t want to leave. It was debilitating so she had to call in a babysitter to take over.
That night was sleepless. The next day, after a doctor’s appointment, she started an antibiotic for a bladder infection.
The antibiotic didn’t work so another one was tried. That one alleviated some of the symptoms for a short while but they came back with a vengeance.
The next couple of weeks were harder than ever for Helen. The worst part was the worry. She didn’t know what this mysterious pain was and, since they didn’t have insurance, she wasn’t going to run in and have a bunch of tests done. At least not right away.
So she was stuck worrying. What happens if it was something really bad? She’d find herself looking at her kids and imagine leaving them to fend for themselves in a crazy world.
When her husband came home, her thoughts wandered to whether he would be left alone… If this was something that could actually take her life? She pushed a lot of those thoughts away but with her melancholic nature, they kept creeping back.
After a very bad night, finally, Helen went back to the doctor….this time a different doctor. He heard all the symptoms and told her that it sounded like she was just trying to pass a kidney stone.
This was news to Helen! She didn’t understand why the first doctor didn’t spot that?
Her step was a little lighter as she left the doctor’s office even though she still had pain. She got home and drank lots and lots of lemon water and took hydrangea tincture.
Within a few of days, she passed that kidney stone and was feeling much better!
The pain was gone, but the best part was that the worry was gone! With all the imaginings of her having a dread disease she had been tied up in knots!
Now that she knew things were OK, her heart filled with joy and thanksgiving!
The following days things began to get back to normal – hectic life came back full force.
But Helen’s heart had changed, indeed!
It still wasn’t easy to drag herself out of bed in the morning, but her heart was filled with thanksgiving because she could actually get up and take care of her children. Were the children any quieter? No. But she appreciated the laughter and the noise instead of always fighting against it. Did hubby come home earlier? No. But she was grateful that her husband had the work that he did and was not upset that he wasn’t around to help.
Her heart sang as she did the dishes.
She still got impatient, things weren’t flawless, but Helen was seeing things through different eyes.
She thought back on that evening when she implored Our Lady, during the rosary, to help her. She realized how much she had helped – maybe not in the way she had wanted or expected but it didn’t matter. She knew it was a gift right from her Mother‘s hands!
The summer days passed quickly. There were many joys in between the rough spots. Helen had learned a lesson. She hoped it would stick. She prayed it would stick.
Those weeks when things got rather dark for her taught her something special besides being grateful for the daily grind. She made up her mind that she would thank God for her crosses as she was going through them, knowing that He had the best possible plan in mind for her and that good would come from them.
It also came home to her that each new day was a gift. She would work hard at tuning her mind into that at the beginning of the day so that when the day ramped up she would have a spirit of gratefulness in spite of everything else.
As Helen sat outside in the early autumn breeze of the evening, amidst the floating aroma of the petunias, she thought to herself, “Indeed, it has been a very productive summer!”
Is it all about being right when we are having a disagreement? Do we need to be on the defensive each time we feel he is being unreasonable? That only seems fair, doesn’t it? Well, go ahead. But your relationship will suffer. It is more important, not that you “win” or that you always come out feeling like you gave the last verbal punch. Like Our Lord, we win through kindness and meekness. What it comes down to is: Do you want to be RIGHT or do you want to be HAPPY? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!” www.finerfem.com
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Sacred Heart Graceful Religious Pendant and Earring Set…Wire-Wrapped, Handcrafted. Get the necklace blessed and wear it as a sacramental!
Father talks about how important our duties of our vocation are, that they are the will of God for us, we need look no further. He touches on the specific duties of each of our different walks of life….
Tammy was feeling testy lately and she didn’t know why. She felt like this periodically and it was an uncomfortable sort of thing. Kind of like a cloud that had settled around her…a greyish one that made her uneasy…like all was not okay.
She was short with the kids and her husband, which made the cloud a little more dense. She felt like she was losing control and slipping…
Many things had her worried. Things like…
Why is Susie disobeying so much lately?
How can I get little George potty-trained?
Hubby seems so tired lately…I hope everything is all right.
I wish I wouldn’t have gained that 5 lbs.…
My prayer life needs help…
Why is the neighbor so grouchy with me these days?
And on and on.
This weekend a visiting priest was coming to give a women’s conference. Tammy wasn’t looking forward to it. She had this unpleasant feeling she would walk away from it feeling even more inadequate than ever.
No, she wasn’t praying enough.
Yes, her routine was often messed up…sometimes through her own fault.
No, she hadn’t been making it very often to daily Mass.
She felt she would be reminded of these many inadequacies that were weighing heavy upon her.
Tammy made it through the rest of the week, each day muddling through as the cloud of anxiety stuck with her. It was in the background, and, though Tammy managed to get the basics done each day… it was there, like a chronic itch that was especially annoying when one was being still.
Saturday came. Hubby had said he would watch the kids so Tammy could go to the conference. Tammy was off to Mass, doing her best to have a positive attitude about the talks.
As Tammy sat down in the hall, she noticed many other women coming to take part in the conferences. She wondered if they had it all together. They were smiling, talking and laughing. Tammy said hi to several of them as they were, of course, familiar faces, many of them were friends.
Father went to the podium and introduced himself and began his talk. Tammy fidgeted and tried to pull her thoughts away from the many chores that awaited her at home.
As Father proceeded in his talk, she started to take more notice.
“I’m here today to take that baseball bat that you keep hitting yourself with, out of your hand…”
Hmmm…she thought. That would probably be a good thing.
“We often rely on our own power, our own strength to overcome our faults and failings. We also rely on ourselves often to ‘fix things’ that are, a lot of times, out of our control,” he continued.
“And even if there IS something we should or should not be doing, the strength to carry this out and the wisdom to know what we should be doing evades us. We want answers but we don’t have them.
So, really, the solution to these daily problems is a continual crying out to God for help…for grace, for wisdom. It’s as simple as that…. a continual reaching out to Him Who wants to help in all the nitty gritty details of life.
But how do you do that, as busy wives, and mothers? You often hit the ground running as you struggle to get the day rolling with the multitude of needs that beg to be met.
In the morning, on arising, we can direct to the Most High through the Morning Offering, all the activity of the day.
This is most important, because as the hours and minutes roll by, the various actions rise in homage to God.”
Ok, I do that, thought Tammy. So at least I am starting out my day by doing the right thing.
The priest continued….
“From time to time throughout the day, think of raising our mind and heart to God. Each person has their own individual way of conversing with God. And this is good. God loves us and He made us each with a unique personality and way of expressing ourselves.
A continual conversation with Him throughout the day is very valuable! Like a best friend, and of course, He is the very best, take your cares, your joys, your struggles to Him throughout the day. Talk to Him.
It’s not difficult to do this…it is a matter of habit…of remembering to lift our hearts to Him often throughout the day.
How can we do this? Find ways that help you remember.
As you are getting dressed in the morning, talk familiarly with God. Imagine putting on the armor of God and ask Him to protect you from any evil that may come your way today, to protect you from negative thoughts, from getting discouraged. Ask Him to help you smile more, be more relaxed and peaceful about things….or whatever you wish to say to Him first thing in the morning.
When you have your morning tea or coffee, a quick prayer of gratefulness to Him who gave you this to enjoy is valuable.
As you are teaching school, pray for those children who are having problems…a quick prayer…and then for yourself, the teacher, the mother.
During the children’s nap time, send a quick prayer to the Holy Ghost that you use the time wisely. Then go about your business.
Ask for energy, temperance, kindness, etc. often during the day…”
Father went on about intimately conversing with God and with Our Lady because they are truly our best friends.
Then he concluded, “If it is one thing I am going to give you as homework from this conference, it is this:
Increase your conversation with God throughout the day.
That’s it.
Yes, say your regular prayers, try to say them better. But most importantly, talk to Him throughout the day about your fears, your frustrations, your loneliness, your joys, your gratefulness, etc.”
Tammy walked away that day with a lighter step. Father did not make her feel guilty…he just encouraged her to seek for a deeper relationship with God…not by spending more time in prayer but by learning to converse with Him throughout the day. She felt she could do that.
The next few days, Tammy talked to God, Our Lady, the saints and her Guardian Angel about a lot of things throughout the day… her neighbor’s grouchiness, (“St. Anne, please help my neighbor with whatever it is that is bothering her”) Susie’s disobedience (“Blessed Mother, help Susie, and help me to know what to do”), her bothersome weight gain (“Dear Lord, give me wisdom and temperance”), etc. Little prayers were being sent up all through the day as Tammy thought of it…
After a month or so, Tammy realized something…that cloud of anxiety had dissipated…it was gone!
The problems were still there, there would always be problems, but that cloud of anxiety Our Lord had taken care of. By her continual reaching out to Him, He had in turn, given her more peace in her days!
And it showed in her family life. Her husband made a comment to her that he noticed she was more at peace, more cheerful. This made him happier, too. The children seemed to get along better and, well, life in general, perked up! After all, if Mama’s not happy, her little world feels it!
Tammy was very grateful!
Never forget that it is God’s will that the parents should be the ones to teach the child to pray, as Mary and Joseph helped the boy Jesus to advance in wisdom and grace. -A Dominican Nun, 1954
We must realize that building back to traditional values starts, first, in ourselves and in our homes. Which, in turn, will affect our communities and society in general. And our dress is a powerful means to do just that! It IS like a billboard saying, “There is still something beautiful, noble and good in this world, and it is worth living for.”
Beautiful Mother’s Day Gifts! Religious Pendant and Earring Sets…Wire-Wrapped, Handcrafted. This graceful Vintaj necklace can be worn every day as a reminder of your devotion. Get it blessed and you can use it also as a sacramental. Available here.
Losing your peace of soul over the state of the world and the Church? Don’t! Consider the following books…..
We live in an age characterized by agitation and lack of peace. This tendency manifests itself in our spiritual as well as our secular life. In our search for God and holiness, in our service to our neighbor, a kind of restlessness and anxiety take the place of the confidence and peace which ought to be ours. What must we do to overcome the moments of fear and distress which assail us? How can we learn to place all our confidence in God and abandon ourselves into his loving care? This is what is taught in this simple, yet profound little treatise on peace of heart. Taking concrete examples from our everyday life, the author invites us to respond in a Gospel fashion to the upsetting situations we must all confront. Since peace of heart is a pure gift of God, it is something we should seek, pursue and ask him for without cease. This book is here to help us in that pursuit.
Reverend Irala here addresses ways to promote mental and emotional well-being to help increase one’s health, efficiency and happiness. He speaks on topics such as how to rest, think, use the will, control feelings, train the sexual instinct, be happy, and choose an ideal. Included are also many practical instructions on dealing with mental struggles of all kinds. This book is most useful in our present times of worldly confusion.
This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.
Lent …a good time to meditate on suffering. A Throwback:
by Leane VanderPutten
Lent makes us pause, gives us a chance to think of Our Lord’s suffering….a suffering we, as mere mortals, have a hard time wrapping our heads around.
I don’t pretend to understand the problem of human suffering. At times, it seems pointless, endless and utterly self-defeating…at times.
Those are the moments we are tempted to look up and say, “Ummmm….Dear Lord, are you SURE You know what You are doing here???”
But, good Catholics that we try to be, we resist the temptation to ask God what He is about, or why He does what He does….at least we try not to do it in accusing tones.
I believe God understands because, after all:
“Evil is a mystery, a scandal and it will always be so. It is necessary to do what one can to eliminate it, to relieve suffering, but it always remains present in our personal lives, as well as in the world.”
We are reassured that:
“Its place in the economy of redemption reveals the wisdom of God, which is not the wisdom of man; it always retains something incomprehensible. …. For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts (Isaiah 55:8–9).” – Fr. Jacques Philippe
I have had two very strong examples in my life of suffering that was well borne.
I knew a couple…..a vibrant, lovely, cheerful young couple. They were always ready to lend a helping hand and they were loved by many.
They owned a business where they both worked hard. It was a business that brought people in from near and far….not only for their wares but, also, and maybe even most of all, for their magnetic and caring personalities.
One day, the husband had an accident that was to cause him pain and grief for the rest of his life. He had to sell his business and seek other employment. He had surgery after surgery to relieve the pain. Nothing seemed to work except stronger and stronger medications.
It got to the point where he could work no more and his sweet and lovely wife had to take a job. This particular man bore his pain and his unaccustomed weakness bravely. He hardly complained, he still held his hand out to those in need, and he was a pleasure to be around, joking and laughing, as always. You almost forgot what kind of anguish he bore within himself.
He handled his pain well but there was a problem…….He had. no. faith. He and his wife left the Church many years before the accident.
I would often think of this dear man with sadness. He had such a wealth of power at his fingertips! The people he could have influenced, the pain he could have relieved, the sufferings of others that he could have borne…..if he had only known to offer up his pain to Our Lord….Pain that is such a valuable treasure! More riches than the whole world did he have!! And yet the years went by and his suffering was lost…..lost….spiraling down into the abyss of nothingness.
Let me tell you about another man.
This gentleman’s name was Jim. Though Jim was a young man, the Legion of Mary first met him in a retirement home. He was a quadriplegic…..he couldn’t move any of his limbs.
When you walked into Jim’s room it was as if you were walking into a tomb. It was quiet….still…..dimly-lit. I remember the first time going to see him, I was taken aback at the somberness of it all.
But once you got on the side of Jim’s bed where he could see you, you got quite another picture! Jim was so much alive despite his paralyzed body. His eyes danced and his lips curved into a smile!
You see, Jim had been a Harley Davidson guy in his mobile years. His life was spent seeking pleasures and empty diversions. It was a life of unhappy dissipation.
One day Jim had an accident. The accident left him paralyzed from the neck down.
Enter the Legion of Mary. Through many visits, Jim learned about the Catholic Faith and converted. He also learned about the value of suffering.
He learned that he had such a store of wealth that he could distribute among others who were hurting. He could offer it for his wife, who had left him after the accident. He could offer it for his two children, knowing that this would be his only influence and legacy he would leave them….a great legacy, indeed, though they may not know it in this life.
Jim became a dynamo of love. He was genuinely concerned for anyone who had hurts, who needed prayers. Many of us came to him with prayer requests, knowing that his prayers must be powerful with God! His wall was dotted with many photos of families that wanted him to pray for them…..and which he steadfastly did each day.
He told my friend, Mary Ann, the woman who was instrumental in converting Jim and who was his Godmother, that he was happier now than he had ever been in his former “walking” life. Imagine that! He was a living testimony of the Miracle of Faith!
Here is a picture of Jim with his Godparents, Mike and MaryAnn and their family. (The top girl on the left became my dear daughter-in-law.) Father Lontiev is posing with them.
Jim died about 4 years ago now. He had such a hard life….and yet he was a man of incredible faith and influenced many lives. One day, we will see the influence of this one man’s suffering on the world around him. It will be great, I have no doubt.
Each day, we too, have sufferings, inconveniences, disappointments and hurts. These are great opportunities and valuable prayers. We have the opportunity to hand these golden nuggets to Our Lord.
As women, wives and mothers we care so very much for our loved ones. We hurt when they hurt. Oftentimes we feel helpless.
We don’t need to feel helpless. Let’s take each nugget of suffering and, instead of kicking against the goad, give them to Our Lady, who, in turn, can polish them up, rid these nuggets of the dirt and grime of our self-love, and lay them at the feet of Our Lord as only His Mother can do.
One day, we will see the influence of our own suffering well-borne in our little worlds: Our son was steered back to the faith, our sister was given insight into her marital troubles, our uncle was now willing to take his meds for his mental illness, Grandma found help for her arthritis, Susie’s obstinacy is being resolved, etc. etc. All because YOU offered your sufferings each day to Our Lord in your Morning Offering and all through the day.
From Father Raoul Plus, S.J.: “Of the three apostolates: prayer, action, and suffering, the most efficacious is suffering.
…..Our duty is evident. The work of redemption is binding upon both the Master and the disciples. The manner of redemption chosen by the Master must be adopted by the disciple. To be a Christian is to be not only one redeemed but also a redeemer, not only one saved but a savior. What nonsense, then to refuse sacrifice!”
And, as Bishop Fulton Sheen once wrote “Pain, agony, disappointments, injustices-all these can be poured into a heavenly treasury from which the anemic, sinful, confused, ignorant souls may draw unto the healing of their wings.”
Remember that in God’s eyes, none of these sufferings are useless….they are nuggets….golden nuggets.
A good Catholic woman learns quickly that pain is part of love….They go hand in hand. Her life is spent spreading love and gathering crosses. And when God allows her sufferings she understands it is not to do her harm but to gather her into His arms. -Finer Femininity
Excellent sermon on what is your predominant fault & how you can find out what it is if you do not know & steps to battle against it. Also, Fr stresses the importance of getting your mind right prior to communion & especially the need to give thanksgiving receiving Our Lord…..
Beautiful Vintaj Holy Family Brass Wire Wrapped Rosaries! Lovely, Durable… Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality.
To the modern mind, the concept of poverty is often confused with destitution. But destitution emphatically is not the Gospel ideal. A love-filled sharing frugality is the message, and Happy Are You Poor explains the meaning of this beatitude lived and taught by Jesus himself. But isn’t simplicity in lifestyle meant only for nuns and priests? Are not all of us to enjoy the goodness and beauties of our magnificent creation? Are parents to be frugal with the children they love so much?
The renowned spiritual writer Dubay gives surprising replies to these questions. He explains how material things are like extensions of our persons and thus of our love. If everyone lived this love there would be no destitution.
After presenting the richness of the Gospel message, more beautiful than any other world view, he explains how Gospel frugality is lived in each state of life.
“Reading this book was one of the
greatest graces of my life!”
St. Thérèse of Lisieux
In the late nineteenth century, Father Charles Arminjon, a priest from the mountains of southeastern France, assembled his flock in the town cathedral to preach a series of conferences to help them turn their thoughts away from this life’s mean material affairs—and toward the next life’s glorious spiritual reward. His wise and uncompromising words deepened in them the spirit of recollection that all Christians must have: the abiding conviction that heavenly aims, not temporal enthusiasms, must guide everything we think, say, and do.This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.
I just turned 60. As most of you know, I have had eleven children and I have many grandchildren (40, including those yet to be born)!
I deserve a break, right?
I have things that happen in my household that can ruffle feathers…
Hubby has been home all winter due to a bad leg that we can’t seem to figure out. He is constantly coming up with “new ideas” that can cause some chagrin as he pursues his latest.
For instance, he has the beginnings of his mushrooms started….under the table in the corner in our living room!
He has rabbits in what was supposed to be his greenhouse off the side of the home that, when the wind is right, and the weather has warmed, sends an aroma through the house that is not pleasant….to say the least!
He butchers his meat and proceeds to clean them in the sink, leaving guts and giblets behind much to the horror of the girls at home!
His brother works here with him, and I am bombarded regularly each day with adult male interruptions that I am not used to!
And on the kids’ side…
I have had the ping pong table out in the kids playroom, which is a room that enjoins the rest of the house and that has to be trekked through to get to any other part of the home. The table takes up ALL the space in that room, but…you know…the ping-pong tournament is coming up and practicing must be done!
A couple of them have chronic health stuff that cause much frustration and can’t be figured out.
I still pick up after those who leave things around. And I cook dinner each night.
I do the laundry for all here at home, and although it has downsized, it is still no little feat. I will just get done my loads and look satisfyingly at the empty laundry area when my dear son decides to clean his room and dumps twice as much laundry as when I started…
On and on.
Do I wish for some peace and order?
Do I wish that when something is put away and cleaned up, that it stays that way? Do I not deserve that?
Well…yes to the first question.
I will find myself muttering under my breath about something that is irking me at the moment. “If only….”
I DO stop myself short, though. I try hard not to give in to those thoughts.
Do I really want a life free of untidiness, lack of order, noise, and everything that comes along with running a household? In other words…do I want a life free of….people??!!
NO THANKS!
Kids leaving messes, dirty clothes, leaving stuff on the stairs and never remembering to bring them up until someone almost kills themselves IS annoying.
Bickering, regularly wanting some kind of “party” (they remind me it is not a party…just a few friends over), interruptions, wanting to travel in nasty weather (I have 3 relatively new drivers in the family…and may I also mention…fearless!), etc.
Do I wish for peace?? Yes, but…
NO THANKS!
No….I don’t want peace at the price of giving up an active, noisy, “happening” household, full of imperfect people making their way through life, rubbing shoulders with one another.
These are the things that life is made up of. And they are all good.
Life is a journey and it is meant to travel together.
A lot of the people of the world strive to stay in their comfort zone…to do whatever they want and as little of what they don’t want. They tend to isolate, to immerse themselves in technology or anything else that tickles their fancy.
Do I want a life like that?
NO THANKS!
We who have the faith and who realize this is not our final “landing place”, know that this kind of self-isolating life does not lead to happiness.
We have all felt the satisfaction of something hard that we have accomplished, of enduring something painful, of getting out of our comfort zone, of…well…embracing our crosses. It is a blessing.
And the crosses don’t have to be huge to be valuable. Learning to embrace daily annoyances is a powerful way of doing God’s will…and therefore of achieving happiness.
And it is also a powerful prayer for those who need our help….the suffering of others can be alleviated by our own sacrifices. How wonderful is that?
Martyrdom by the little fires of hidden fidelities constantly adhered to, of tormenting temptations courageously and perseveringly repulsed, of the exact and loving fulfillment of duties toward God and neighbor, of prayer faithfully practiced despite disgust, aridity and the pressure of work–is it not a martyrdom? Who can estimate the value of its countless offerings which are not publicized but which cost . . . and which count!” -Christ in the Home, Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J.
And on the flip side of this…
All of the things I just mentioned above come with another side to it.
My hubby, with his butchering abilities is providing us with food. The mushrooms will be tasty and makes a good hobby for my husband while he is down and out.
He cares deeply for his family and nothing seems to daunt him. If his next new venture is hard to swallow, well….
Would I rather not have a husband??
NO THANKS!
His brother has helped us very much as my husband is somewhat handicapped at this time. I think we provide some comfort to him also. He has been a God-send.
My kids are amazing. For the bit of inconvenience they cause me with their messes, their problems, their bickering (which has gotten so much better!)…
They return to me many times over!
They see the needs around here…monetarily and otherwise. And if they are in a position to help, they will.
And even if they lacked in this area…it’s OK.
God has called us to raise families and to accept…nay, embrace….what goes along with that.
We must learn not to complain. Sure, if things need to be confronted, then do that.
But there will be so many things that are just plain annoyances and we need to accept that. And be good-natured about it. God loves a cheerful giver!
So next time we wish for a quieter, more orderly, less worrisome life, may our response be…
NO THANKS!
Every day you need to lift your husband up in prayer. Ask St. Joseph to help him to be a good husband and father. He needs you, who are his closest companion, to lift him up each day to our Heavenly Father. Ask Our Lord to protect him and to protect your marriage. What a wonderful gift a praying wife is! -Finer Femininity
Thank you, Juhmorri!
“A lovely way to incorporate prayer into your everyday life. I appreciate that this helps me journal my days as well as keep track of my prayers, show my gratitude, and express my love for God more and more. A great concept that is executed with grace and beauty.”
Thank you, Mom of Boy!
“I have been wanting this journal and now that I have some time off it is great to be able to write! It is so beautiful and Traditionally Catholic. Thank you!”
Our attitude changes our life…it’s that simple. Our good attitude greatly affects those that we love, making our homes a more cheerier and peaceful dwelling! To have this control…to be able to turn around our attitude is a tremendous thing to think about!
This Gratitude Journal is here to help you focus on the good, the beautiful, the praiseworthy. “For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 – Douay Rheims).
Yes, we need to be thinking of these things throughout the day!
You will be disciplined, the next 30 days, to write positive, thankful thoughts down in this journal. You will be thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people you are grateful for, lovely and thought-provoking Catholic quotes, thoughts before bedtime, etc. Saying it, reading it, writing it, all helps to ingrain thankfulness into our hearts…and Our Lord so loves gratefulness! It makes us happier, too!
Twelve sermons on key aspects of the Christian life given during Lent, 1622–fasting, how to resist temptation, the danger of losing one’s soul, living faith vs. dead or dying faith, Christian attitude toward death, proper conduct in illness, God\’s special providence toward those living a spiritual life, the hidden meanings of Our Lord’s Passion, eternal happiness, mutual charity, etc.
There are as many paths to holiness as there are saints in Heaven . . . but you cant follow them all. Yet there’s one thing every saint practices that you can imitate: the simple art of loving God, which the beloved St. Francis de Sales explains for you here.
Under his wise and gentle guidance, you’ll discover the secrets to growing holier through the simple things in life work, play, and rest. You’ll learn to avoid the distractions (even religious distractions) that trouble and weary your soul . . . and you’ll soon be able to focus your energy simply on loving God.
This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.
We’ve heard the term before….Domestic Monastery. I understand the sentiment and I think it is a lovely term that is loaded with possibilities within the home. Personally, my home couldn’t be mistaken for a monastery at any given time.
Having a Domestic Monastery, to me, means we are working each day to get our priorities in order….doing God’s will within our homes.
What does that look like and what does it mean?
For everyone and every family it is different…and yet, we will have a common, underlying theme. We will, if we are faithful Catholics, be responding to His call, every day, that presents itself to us each moment that the day unfolds.
When we get up in the morning, we have an “agenda”. This is good, we need a foundation that we can circle back to as the day progresses, when we can fulfill these projects. That’s why I present to you my calendars, planners, etc. We have planned and we know what we wish to accomplish that day.
But we need to remember that, though our plans are important, we are “called” to live each moment as God presents it to us.
Let me give you an example. I go to my list, I have had it in the back of my mind and rather excited to start checking off those “To-Do’s”! As soon as I roll up my sleeves to get started, the baby who has just laid down for a nap, wakes up! Ahhhhh…there goes the schedule!
Now, I have two choices. Well, actually, I haven’t got a choice….I have to go tend to the baby. But I have two choices on how to react… I can kick against the goad, and do it resentfully or at least begrudgingly…OR…I can remember that each moment I am being called by God….to tend to what is presenting itself at the time.
“Every yes to God’s call, even in the least matter, brings an increase of life and strength and encouragement, for God gives himself to those who are open to His calls and confers ever more freedom upon them.” -Jacques Philippe, Called to Life
This doesn’t mean that I don’t plan my time and that I don’t have those lists and schedules…they are important. But always remember that in our Domestic Monastery, when that “bell” goes off we tend to whatever or whoever is ringing the bell.
Responding to these calls throughout the day (and we women have SO MANY), is God’s will for us and we will grow in strength, character and happiness as we learn to respond to them cheerfully.
“God’s call can concern important life choices and be a vocation in the classic sense (a vocation to the consecrated life, to marriage, to a particular mission in the Church or in society). Often, though, the calls we receive from God bear upon smaller, everyday things: an invitation to pardon, an act of confidence in a difficult situation, a service to render to someone, a moment of prayer… It is as important to detect these calls and consent to them, for, small as they may seem, they mark out the path that leads to a far richer and more abundant life than we would otherwise know.“
Women everywhere are looking for happiness. Often it is being pursued through the fulfillment of their own desires, their projects, their dreams. Plans and projects are not a negative, but they are not an end in itself. To get up each day and say, “I have so many things I need to accomplish today!” and to be disgruntled when these don’t come to fruition is not the way to happiness and fulfillment.
We may have our projects, our dreams…but there needs to be a willingness to lay all aside to answer God’s call in our everyday life, as it presents itself. THAT is fulfillment.
“There is, however, one condition. We must give up our own agendas and allow ourselves to be led by life, in happy events and difficult ones, while learning to recognize and accept the calls addressed to us day by day. ‘Call’ is the keyword.
The idea, simple but very meaningful, is absolutely fundamental to our temporal and spiritual plans. Human beings cannot attain fulfillment solely by carrying out their own projects. These projects are legitimate and necessary, and we must bring our intelligence and energy to bear on accomplishing them. But that’s not enough, and in the event of failure it can lead to disillusionment.
Another attitude, one in the end more decisive and fruitful, must accompany our initiating and carrying out of projects: that of listening to the calls, the discrete, mysterious invitations that come to us continuously throughout life. This attitude of listening and availability takes priority over even the projects themselves.
I believe we can be fulfilled as human beings only to the extent that we perceive and respond to the calls life addresses to us day in and day out: calls to change, grow, mature, enlarge our hearts and our horizons, and leave behind hardness of heart and narrow-mindedness in order to welcome reality in a larger and more confident manner.” -Fr. Jacques Philippe, Called to Life
So, as our day progresses in our “Domestic Monastery”, let us respond to those “bells”, grab hold of those multitude of opportunities that will present themselves knowing that, by embracing them, we will attain a happiness that far surpasses any “project”or “accomplishment” we have attained. We will be accomplishing God’s will in our lives…which is what we are here for and is the greatest happiness a person can attain.
“Dressing modestly/femininely is a gift to give those who look upon us and ourselves; it’s so nice and refreshing, gives so much beauty and niceness to the world – the world needs this to balance the ugliness and harshness that exists.” -The Wonderful World of Womanhood (Daughter, Jeanette’s, wedding)
Great sermon…
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Salvation and spiritual perfection should not be sought haphazardly; a strategy is needed to win the battle for our souls. The Spiritual Combat, first published in 1589, provides timeless guidance in spiritual discipline. St. Francis de Sales (1576-1622) read from it himself every day and recommended it to everyone under his direction.
Vigorous, realistic and full of keen insight into human nature, The Spiritual Combat consists of short chapters based on the maxim that in the spiritual life one must either “fight or die”. Fr. Scupoli shows the Christian how to combat his passions and vices, especially impurity and sloth, in order to arrive at victo
Rooted firmly in Scripture, these pages call on husbands to stop thinking of themselves simply as bosses and breadwinners. Rather, says author Clayton Barbeau, husbands should see themselves as co-creators with God, imitators of Christ’s love for His people, high priests in the domestic Church, teachers of their children, witnesses to society, providers of spiritual and material goods, and models of holiness.
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You mentioned in your post of your mother’s death that she died one hour away from First Saturday? What is the significance of that and what is the Sabbatine Privilege?
The Sabbatine Privilege is based on the Papal Bull issued on March 3, 1322 by Pope John XXII. This Privilege was approved and confirmed by many popes including St. Pius V. It essentially says that those who wear the Scapular and fulfill two other conditions can obtain early liberation from Purgatory, through the special intercession of the Virgin Mary, on the day consecrated to her, Saturday.
The other two conditions are: 1) Observe chastity according to one’s state in life and 2) Recite the Little Office of Our Blessed Mother (the Rosary, with permission from a priest, can be substituted for the office).
Our Lady revealed to Venerable Dominic of Jesus and Mary: “Although many wear my Scapular, only a few fulfill conditions for the Sabbatine Privilege.” We maintain the majority don’t know them. It is an act of charity to make the Sabbatine Privilege known to all.
A soul from Purgatory was asked by a Sister: “What is the average stay of the souls in Purgatory?” The Poor Soul answered: “From thirty to forty years!” Can you see the importance of making Our Lady’s Privilege known – if you consider that the flames are the same as the fires of Hell!
In your post on your mom’s death, you laid your rings on her after she had passed. What was the reason for this?
We laid our rings on her so we could have something that touched her after her death.
Knowing my mom and who she was, what she stood for and the prayers she said, along with the Sabbatine Privilege, we were hopeful that she flew into the arms of Jesus and Mary. Therefore, we wanted something we wore all the time to be touched to her. If she is a saint in heaven, venerating that article brings blessings.
Keep in mind, we are not saying that we believe she is a saint…but we are hopeful. That being said, we will continue to pray for her and are having the Gregorian Masses said for her. (Don’t ever take it for granted that your loved one is in heaven, that’s a mistake you DON’T want to make. Continue to pray for them.)
What are the Gregorian Masses?
Gregorian Masses are a series of Holy Masses traditionally offered on 30 consecutive days as soon as possible after a person’s death. They are offered for an individual soul.
The custom of offering Gregorian Masses for a particular soul recognizes that few people are immediately ready for heaven after death, and that, through the infinite intercessory power of Christ’s sacrifice, made present in Holy Mass, a soul can be continually perfected in grace and enabled to enter finally into the union with the Most Holy Trinity – our God, Who is Love Itself.
History of Gregorian Masses
Gregorian Masses take their name from Saint Gregory the Great, who was sovereign Pontiff from 590 to 604. St. Gregory the Great contributed to the spread of the pious practice of having these Masses celebrated for the deliverance of the souls from purgatory. In his Dialogues, he tells us that he had Masses on thirty consecutive days offered for the repose of the soul of Justus, a monk who had died in the convent of St. Andrew in Rome. At the end of the thirtieth Mass, the deceased appeared to one of his fellow monks and announced that he had been delivered from the flames of Purgatory.
Where do you get them from…the Gregorian Masses?
We get ours from The Universal Living Rosary. I noticed lately that Father Z has a post on where to get the Gregorian Masses. His post is here.
I have a question for you. My Dad used to say of my Grandpa that he always “saw” him at a certain age no matter how old he got. Do you have a special picture of your mom that she always looked that way to you? Does she smile just right? Do her eyes twinkle a little? What color were her eyes? Does she look like she can see exactly what you are thinking? If you do, would you share it? Those are the best pictures to show how someone was. 🙂
Here are some pictures of Mom as I remember her. She always struggled to lose weight and made the comment that she would finally lose weight when she was 90 years old and in her coffin. We loved her just the way she was, of course.
And she DID lose a lot of weight this past year…. (Her eyes were blue.)
Was your mom always Catholic? How did she survive the years when the Church became so liberal?
My mom was Catholic and was taught by the nuns. Her mom was a convert, her dad a staunch Catholic, though he did not talk about the Faith much, from what I gathered.
Dad and Mom fell away from the church for close to twenty-five years. When Mom made it back…through searching, because of her suffering…the Church had changed so much it was not recognizable from when her and dad left.
Mom persevered going to church and was ridiculed for receiving on the tongue, kneeling when receiving Communion, fully genuflecting, being reverent, etc.
She finally searched out a Traditional Mass…which was few and far between back then. She traveled far to go there….her family (all of us) thought she was nuts.
Through Mom’s reading of old Catholic books (discarded and bought from garage sales, etc.), spending two hours in prayer each morning (rising at 5am), wearing her scapular, etc., Mom became a solid Pillar of Faith. (Before she came back to the Church, she suffered much from depression, was on medication, and even went through”shock treatments” to try and help her ailments.)
The transformation was real and my brothers and I watched in awe (though not always supportive).
Mom’s faith and perseverance paid off. My dad died a holy death. There were signs and consolations after my two brothers’ deaths that we can have reasonable hope they made it.
My two other brothers in Canada are solid in the Faith. I love the faith and pray to persevere always. My sister needs prayers but she is a prayerful person and, I believe, her journey will end well.
What greater gift can children have from their mother than the Faith that will lead them through life and past the threshold into Eternity?
Thanks, Mom.
“It follows that in helping your child to satisfy his basic emotional needs to love and be loved, you give something as necessary as food for his full development. So do not be beguiled by aspirations for a worldly career or by the desire to prove yourself as intelligent as men or as capable in affairs of the world as they. You can make your greatest contribution to your family as the heart of your home.” – Rev. George A. Kelly
Make a statement with this lovely and graceful “Mother and Son” handcrafted apron….fully lined….made with care. Aprons tell a beautiful story…..a story of love and sacrifice….of baking bread and mopping floors, of planting seeds and household chores. Sadly, many women have tossed the aprons aside and donned their business attire. Wear your apron with joy….it is a symbol of Femininity….”Finer” Femininity! 🌺 💗 Available here.
Coil Binder Book ~ February Traditional Catholic Daily Planner! Meal Menu/Homeschool Page ~ Daily Gratitude/Spiritual Checklist/Daily Goals! Available here.
The rosary, scapulars, formal prayers and blessings, holy water, incense, altar candles. . . . The sacramentals of the Holy Catholic Church express the supreme beauty and goodness of Almighty God. The words and language of the blessings are beautiful; the form and art of statues and pictures inspire the best in us. The sacramentals of themselves do not save souls, but they are the means for securing heavenly help for those who use them properly. A sacramental is anything set apart or blessed by the Church to excite good thoughts and to help devotion, and thus secure grace and take away venial sin or the temporal punishment due to sin. This beautiful compendium of Catholic sacramentals contains more than 60,000 words and over 50 full color illustrations that make the time-tested sacramental traditions of the Church – many of which have been forgotten since Vatican II – readily available to every believer.
“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Published 80 years ago, this Catholic classic focuses on the Christian family and uses as its foundation the1929 encyclical “On Christian Education of Youth” coupled with the “sense of Faith.” Addressing family topics and issues that remain as timely now as they were when the guide was first published, “The Christian Home” succinctly offers sound priestly reminders and advice in six major areas…
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As we forge on through January, the New Year is like a fresh book with 365 blank sheets of paper. A beautiful volume, with gilded papers and pastel-painted flowers (or butterflies) running across each page….a book just waiting to have its lines filled.
These sheets have possibilities…incredible possibilities that, when filled with worthy and noble, sincere and optimistic ideals, can result in a growing of character, an increasing of knowledge and a deepening of faith.
What will we write on each of our pages this year?
What are the things that will help us to grow in our vocation this year? What decisions do we have to make in order to become a better woman, wife and mother? These are the things we want to write in our 2022 manuscript. They don’t have to be big pronouncements….not at all. In fact, it is those small things, repeated every day that will make the difference at the end of the year.
Aristotle says, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
3 Suggestions to Help us Inscribe Worthily in Our Books This Year:
Number 1:
Let’s make a decision to read good books on how to become a better woman within our vocation. Positive books…. about attitude, or relationship, or about self-sacrifice.
Each day let us read something that refreshes us and gives us perspective, which holds back the poison of self-pity. We all struggle; we just need an attitude shift a lot of the time. (This is where this website can come in very handy!) 🙂 And here is the link to my Book List.
At the same time, let us not forget that we can get information out of books and magazines, we can get knowledge out of a good website, but wisdom is from God and we must ask for it!
Number 2:
Can we go to daily Mass more? There is nothing more powerful, more healing, more problem-solving than attending Mass and receiving Our Lord. He IS the problem-solver!
Do we want more peace, more joy, more love in our hearts? Let’s go to Mass, there to receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist.
Do we want our longings to be fulfilled? Let’s make our way to Mass! Remember when you do, you may not see the results right away, and certainly you may not feel them, but they will be there….and you will notice.
We may not be able to make it to Mass. I know what it was like raising a large family. Then let’s take the time to make a Spiritual Communion, more than once a day! It is very efficacious and gives much grace!
St. Thomas Aquinas once defined a Spiritual Communion as “an ardent desire to receive Jesus in the Most Holy Sacrament and in lovingly embracing Him as if we had actually received Him.”
You can “turn toward the Holy Tabernacle” and receive Jesus in your heart from anywhere you might happen to be, at any time, day or night!
Here is a Spiritual Communion:
My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament. I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul. Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally, come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.
And let’s remember to call on the name of Jesus throughout each day as discussed in the last post.
Number 3:
We don’t need to add prayers if we already have a spiritual regime set in place, but we need to be more solicitous in saying the prayers we already say. Let’s eliminate distractions, if we can….and then patiently embrace those distractions that we can’t eliminate. We must just keep trying to authentically lift our hearts to God as we say our prayers. God sees our efforts!
Will there be things this year that we find bigger than we can control? Will we have problems that are too much for us?
These will be the very opportunities to rely on Him who will come and more than meet us half-way. A faith of a mustard seed….that is all we need. Let us ask God for it…every day this year! Do we realize the peace we would have if we truly believed!? Well, then let’s ask for it!
We can only live our life one day at a time. Things may happen to us this year that are so painful or confusing that we need to just live one hour at a time, maybe one minute, reminding ourselves that God sees everything, that He loves us and that He is the answer. And as my mom has reminded me, “All things are passing….”
We will lean on Him this year more than ever! We will ask to be guided through each hour of each day. We will bring every problem to Him for He will show us the way to go.
And let us remember this powerful Serenity Prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference” Amen!
By the end of the year, when we pick up our 2022 volume which will be filled, will we shudder with regrets…..or sigh with humble satisfaction? It’s up to us.
“Out of these many traits let us together choose the ideal woman. First of all, she should be earnest and sincere. Our truly ideal woman will not be silly or frivolous, nor will she be guilty of actions that appear vulgar or unwomanly. She must always have a kind word for others—not a person who will unjustly criticize behind your back. Her clothes are womanly and becoming. She will be known for the beauty of her character rather than the richness of her clothing or ornaments.” – Mabel Hale, Beautiful Girlhood, 1922
Get ready for the New Year!
…with the January Printable Traditional Catholic Daily Planner! Meal Menu/Homeschool Page ~ Daily Gratitude/Spiritual Checklist/Daily Goals/Spiritual Intentions! Available here.
Something to ponder on this Feast of the Holy Name of Jesus….
In my search to become a more upbeat person, suffering from the onslaught of negativity growing up, I came across the world of….Positive Affirmations!
You know, the kind like: “I CAN do this, I am NOT afraid,” or “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better!”or “Today, I am brimming with energy and overflowing with joy.”
I often tried to turn them into a spiritual saying….otherwise, they seemed empty words to me. I used them…..they helped….sort of. Probably my consistency was off, at least that’s what I told myself. 😛
There is much value to changing your self-talk, to replacing those negative thoughts, those self-defeating suggestions that seem to jump out of nowhere….like a flea gleefully bouncing up and attaching to its victim! And unless you get on top of that negative self-talk that goes round and round in your head, your mind can become a three-ring circus where you keep falling off the trapeze…..and ouch! it hurts.
So if positive affirmations help you to retrain that thought process…..then they can be of value!
That being said, as I knelt in Mass this past week and pondered the meditation in Divine Intimacy on the Holy Name of Jesus, I realized that THIS NAME is the most POSITIVE positive affirmation you can use!
Not that I didn’t know the power of that most Holy Name. I did. But I never thought of it as a remedy, far more efficacious, than any positive self-talk you can do!
How much potency is packed into this one Name! It stops demons in their tracks and causes the angels to bend their knees in adoration! It heals the sick and causes the sinner to repent. Power? Yes!
We should begin and end every endeavor with the name of Jesus!
During the course of your day, do you feel affronted by someone close to you? Say the name of Jesus. Do you feel irritation and frustration? Say the name of Jesus. Do you feel like your opinions are not accounted for and you are upset about this? Say the name of Jesus.
Is confidence lacking? Is your self-esteem suffering? Are you experiencing a bout of self-pity? SAY THE NAME OF JESUS!
He knows what we need, He knows how to change our hearts and our way of thinking! He knows how to reach down into the recesses of our very beings, where there are battle wounds and scars, and heal, strengthen and redeem!
What more could we want? It is so simple.
The Holy Name of Jesus…..2 syllables….also gives us 300 days indulgence each time we say it!! (And if you want to increase the power, dip your fingers in some Epiphany water that is sitting in your holy water font and make the sign of the cross, too)!
From Divine Intimacy:
“O Glorious Name! O Gracious name! Name full of love and virtue! Through You, sins are forgiven, enemies overcome, the sick healed, and sufferers strengthened in adversity! You are the honor of believers, the master of preachers, the comfort of those who toil, the support of the weak. Holy desires are nourished by the ardor of Your fire; and by it, necessary suffrages are obtained, contemplative souls are inebriated, and the triumphant are glorified in heavenly glory!
O Name of Jesus, exalted above every other Name! O triumphant Name! O joy of Angels! O terror of hell! All hope of pardon, of grace and of glory is found in You! O Sweetest Name, You pardon the guilty, You reform evil habits, You fill the timid with divine sweetness and drive away terrifying visions!
O glorious Name! Admirable Name! Venerable Name! Little by little You raise the souls of the faithful by Your gifts and graces to the heights of heaven. All to whom You communicate Your ineffable grandeur, by Your power, attain to salvation and glory.
I want to begin and end all my works by invoking Your Name, and to mark all my affections, desires, undertakings, joys and sorrows with this sacred seal. But O Lord, I beg You, above all, imprint Your Name on my heart and mind, so that I may always love You and think of You.”
Ah yes, how much more efficacious is His Name than a positive affirmation! Let’s remember to use this power throughout the day as we are busy doing the many things that women, wives and mothers do!
May we remember throughout this coming year to have His Name ever on our lips as a means to become more like Our Lady in everything we do!
May your day be blessed!
Happy Ninth Day of Christmas! “There is nothing insignificant in the life which we live within our own doors. There is nothing which is without influence in the building up of character. Let no one think that the history of any day in the life of a home, is not recorded imperishably on the sensitive lives of the children.” -J.R. MIller
What better way to get ready for the New Year than with an attitude adjustment?
Our attitude changes our life…it’s that simple. Our good attitude greatly affects those that we love, making our homes a more cheerier and peaceful dwelling! To have this control…to be able to turn around our attitude is a tremendous thing to think about!
This Gratitude Journal is here to help you focus on the good, the beautiful, the praiseworthy. “For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 – Douay Rheims).
Yes, we need to be thinking of these things throughout the day!
You will be disciplined, the next 30 days, to write positive, thankful thoughts down in this journal. You will be thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people you are grateful for, lovely and thought-provoking Catholic quotes, thoughts before bedtime, etc. Saying it, reading it, writing it, all helps to ingrain thankfulness into our hearts…and Our Lord so loves gratefulness! It makes us happier, too!
A good reminder…. Reading this again makes me want to try harder to live in the now….to make time for the priorities. When we are on our deathbed, it won’t be how much we have accomplished, how clean our house is or how many Christmas cookies we baked…. It will be: Do I go to the door to greet my husband when he comes home? Do I take the time to listen to him? Did I take time out to look and listen when the kids were talking to me? Did I read them a bedtime story? Did I make sure they said their prayers? These are the priorities.
A lot of the women I know are very busy. They have a God-given gaggle of children, many of them young. They are up night and day, doing the things that mothers lovingly….and sometimes not so lovingly (but always trying)… do.
Many of us can’t change the fact that we are busy….and really, we wouldn’t want to. But we must take time to smell the roses (or evergreens) along the way….we must take the time to BE.
One of my favorite books is Achieving Peace of Heart which was written by a Jesuit priest and Catholic psychologist in a day when these could be trusted. He helped so many people and his main theme and way of recovery for small anxieties right through to mental disorders….his way of teaching the secret to happiness…was living in the present moment.
“In conscious life there is a lack of clear consciousness, or of adequate response to impressions received. A victim of this escapes from reality and from society into egocentrism. He neither lives in nor enjoys the present; he does not pay full attention to what he sees or hears. He lives in the past or the future, far away from his physical location, wrapped up in sadness, scruples, or worries…..” Fr. Narciso Irala, Achieving Peace of Heart
And an excerpt from the book Hands Free Life – Rachel Macy Stafford:
“Although we’ve been led to believe that our fondest memories are made in the grand occasions of life, in reality, they happen when we pause in the ordinary, mundane moments of a busy day. The most meaningful life experiences don’t happen in the ‘when,’ they happen in the ‘now.’ This concept is not earth shattering, nor is it something you don’t already know. Yet we still continually put off the best aspects of living until the conditions are right.”
So….we need to consciously practice pulling ourselves back to the NOW until we become experts at it! We need to quit thinking so much of what we have to do….running, running, running. Let’s do the job we are doing, let’s do it well, let’s think about living each moment IN the moment.
This takes some effort, it takes a mindfulness that may try to elude us…. but we mustn’t let it. We need to begin to show up for life. This mindfulness will help us with our family life.
When those little…or big…. feet come running up to us and their eyes peer into ours, let’s take the time to really listen and look at them. Let’s BE…..for them. So what if we are mopping the floor and want to get it done NOW! Let’s put the mop aside and spend that 5 minutes listening to the latest escapade of what happened when Johnny tried to climb the tree or Susie tripped over her skip rope. Those 5 minute snatches can mean so much to them…..and to us.
When hubby comes home from work, let’s take the time to stop what we are doing and greet him with a smile and a kiss. Isn’t he worth it? Yes, he is worth it. If he wants to talk about his day, let’s try to stay focused and listen. It won’t take much of our time and it sure is a lot more important than getting those clothes off the line….we can do it later.
When 14 yr. old Jenny wants to tell us about how her book ended, or about the movie she watched (Ugh! Don’t you dislike listening to someone retell a movie??), let’s listen….not just listen….let’s hear.
Whether we are married or single, no matter what our life occupation is, we must take time for our loved ones. This doesn’t change no matter what walk of life we are in. We want to be able to go to bed at night knowing that we have spent some time putting first things first….our husbands, our children, our siblings, our parents, our friends.
The people in our lives are so important….much more important than any chore or deadline we may think we have. We can get back to that. Let’s just be there for them. Let’s live in the present…..the NOW….for us, for our families.
So, for today, we will work on doing what we are doing….doing it well….and embracing those “distractions” and “interruptions” with patience and love. Let’s walk with a peace, the peace of doing God’s will in the moment and not letting our mind wander too far away from the NOW. Let us BE…it’s up to ME!
The Important Things- Leane VanderPutten
(based on “Keeping Track of Life Manifesto” – Rachel Macy Stafford)
Not the skin-deep beauty of face and figure
Not the fullness of our bank account
Not the speed at which I get my housework done
Not how nice my vehicle is
Not the cleanliness and beauty of my house
Not the number of chores I do each day
Not the events on my calendar
Not the number of church functions I am involved in
Not the text messages or emails I feel I need to respond to
Instead….I’m paying attention to the important things in life
I am going to live in the present, I am going to BE
for the hugs
for the conversations
for the exchange of laughter to heal my anxious soul.
I am finding happiness in living for the NOW
In the sit-down moments after meals
In the raucous joy of children and grandchildren
In the exchange of knowing looks that come between my husband and I
I’m living for the NOW
By taking the Hand of my Lord
Looking at Him when I feel frenzied
When I feel worried and disillusioned
So I may be present for those I love
my children
my husband
my grandchildren
my friends
By basking in each moment as I pause along the way
I’m living for the NOW
Because I know that there are more important things than accomplishing each task on my list.
Because I don’t want to miss a childhood, a wedding, a friendship
Because I want to be able to lay my head down at night knowing I have connected with those things that matter most…..
Because when my life is at its close it can be said, “You have run the race, you have fought the good fight.” and I will be remembered, not for what I have accomplished, but for HAVING LOVED WELL…..
Share interests together. As many as possible. See how you can join him in his hobbies and invite him to share in yours. Even if you don’t both enjoy the same things, at the very least you can be interested and enthusiastic about what interests him. And then look for activities that you can both learn to enjoy together as well. Start something new if you have to.-Lisa Jacobson
Check out my book, Cheerful Chats for Catholic Children here! 🙂
Review:
“I’ve long been wanting a book on various virtues to help my children become better Catholics. But most books focused on the virtues make being bad seem funny or attractive in order to teach the child a lesson. I’ve always found them to be detrimental to the younger ones who’s logic hasn’t formed. This book does an awesome job in showing a GOOD example in each of the children with all the various struggles children commonly struggle with (lying, hiding things, being grumpy, you name it.) But this book isn’t JUST virtue training… it’s also just sweet little chats about our love for God, God’s greatness, etc…
And the best thing of all? They are SHORT! I have lots of books that are wonderful, but to be honest I rarely pick them up because I just don’t have the time to read a huge, long story. These are super short, just one page, and very to the point. The second page has a poem, picture, a short prayer and a few questions for the kids to get them thinking. It works really, really well right before our bedtime prayers and only takes a few minutes at most.
If you like “Leading the Little ones to Mary” then you will like these… they are a little more focused on ALL age groups, not just little ones… so are perfect for a family activity even through the teenage years, down to your toddler.”
🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄
Vintage Christmas Apron! Feminine and Beautiful!
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Why do we call Christmas songs carols? And is the Christmas tree a pagan symbol? Were there really three kings? These questions and so many others are explored in a way that is scholarly and yet delightful to read. Enjoy learning about the history of the many Christmas traditions we celebrate in this country!
Why do we wear our best clothes on Sunday? What was the Holy Ghost Hole in medieval churches? How did a Belgian nun originate the Feast of the Blessed Sacrament? Where did the Halloween mask and the jack-o’-lantern come from? Learn the answer to these questions, as well as the history behind our traditional celebration of Thanksgiving, in this gem of a book by Father Weiser.
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I’ve been asked that a few times. I can tell you that I sometimes am as surprised as the people who ask me. 🙂 It’s like I just woke up one day and said, “Wow we’ve done okay! How did we do that?”
It’s not that our training wasn’t purposeful…it was. But with human weakness so apparent in our parenting, with imperfect circumstances, etc., it was hard to know the outcome.
And, things are not picture-perfect (it looks so good online, doesn’t it?) My girls are human and have many faults, like all those born under Eve’s lineage.
Also, life is not done yet and I have children at home. Dynamics are different than they used to be so I don’t know the outcome. At this point, though, I am very grateful for how things have transpired.
I’ve tried here to pinpoint along the way some of the things that we did… to actually be able to put them into words….and I do feel I have a few things I can share with you. It is not to discourage you, though, because some of us have taken up the torch midstream. I was fortunate that I became serious about my faith BEFORE I got married. This is, in many circumstances, not the case. God takes us where we are at and can create a beautiful tapestry of a grace-filled life wherever we begin! He meets us where we are at on our own personal journey and is not outdone in generosity! It is imperative we remember that.
That being said, the following are a few things I think were very important on our own journey. (This is my own list. Hubby would have his own list, too. His contribution in many of these points are unspoken but always there.)
#1. We were blessed to have started off on the right foot. We both worked at a Catholic Shrine so our courtship was truly amazing! We said the Rosary every day, we went to Mass every day, we went to Benediction every day and a lot of our courtship was during Lent so we were reading the Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ together.
This is obviously not possible for most people but the effort put into our courtship and even before we meet that special someone, the effort meaning: Gaining as much graces as possible through daily Mass, etc. will help to get started on the right foot. So many marriages begin on the wrong foot, stained with serious sin, and I do believe this has a negative impact on the relationship in general.
Once again, if that has been your own experience (not getting started on the right foot), with God’s grace the pieces can be picked up…yes, they can! <3
#2. My discipline was not as consistent as it could have been. Like you, I was tired, etc. If I was nursing a baby or whatever and the child’s behavior needed tending to, it was a temptation to overlook things….and I did at times. For the most part, though, I did not let my children outright disobey me or say no to me. They never struck me. If they ever tried such things they were swiftly punished.
#3. I taught them to respect their dad. I tried to only talk highly of him to them. Even though I did not always agree with my husband’s ways, my disagreements were kept in check, as much as possible, around the children. I knew it was important to hold a united front together. The only reason I knew to do that was through the books I had been reading. I didn’t have any experience with this sort of thing in my own young, rather rocky and independent life. If you don’t teach your children to respect their dad, believe me, it will come back to bite you! They will also disrespect you as the years go by. This is not easy, and I failed many times, but I dusted myself off, knew where my mistake was, and began again.
#4. We homeschooled. This was always a challenge and I felt inadequate. But I kept trying and the bond that I formed with my children was irreplaceable. We struggled together each day. Once again, I do not think it is for everyone. I am just telling you the things that I feel contributed to the girls I have today.
#5. We had joy in our family. We played lots of games. The TV was not the center of our recreation (we didn’t have a TV for the first 15 years of our marriage). My husband and I played volleyball with our kids right up until a couple years ago. Here and there we still get out there with them. We make movie time (now that we have a TV) a family fun event!
Disclaimer here…Yes, we had joy. But I had my off days, even my off years! One year I got very sick and it was a slow climb out. Was I joyful? No! Days when you are so weary, days when you feel blah, etc. Joy?? You kidding??!
This is the amazing thing….even though I struggled with many things (my melancholic nature is not nice to me at times), the kids don’t remember those offtimes if you try to keep the tone positive in between times (and hopefully there are many in-between times)!
I knew it was important, that our kids would not want what we have if we didn’t have joy, so joy was fought for. I thought I was failing, I woke up one day to find out I hadn’t failed. Like I said, God meets us more than halfway!
#6. (I had my girls read my list and they wanted me to mention these “Don’ts” that we “Do”). Our kids didn’t go out of the home for their social time. It was brought to us. When we did go somewhere for a good time, for the most part, it was as a family. They also didn’t spend much time in their rooms…those were for sleeping not for spending time with their friends or hanging out by themselves.
Which brings me to another rule we had…No Sleepovers. It’s easier to make a rule with no exceptions (cousins traveling and spending the night is different…though it was closely monitored, too), than to pick and choose which sleepover events they can take part in. Sleepovers are dangerous times and ones that parents are oblivious to as they are in their beds sawing logs while the girls are chatting away….
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that we see sin at every corner. We don’t. But we also avoid particular situations that make it easy on the kids to break rules….whether talking about subjects they shouldn’t divulge in with their friends…..Or maybe even worse.
#7. Some Do’s! I worked very hard at trying to make the Faith come alive in our home. We did Saint Nicholas stockings, Lenten practices, Advent practices, we sang hymns at the end of the rosary, we did novenas together, we did little processions, we did special things on Feast Days. We supplied the magic and the charm to our Catholic heritage.
Once again I learned this from the books that I share with you each day. I did not have any experience with this beforehand. And I was not perfect at it. Often it was one week into Advent before I got the wreath out, etc. Or life was so hectic, things were put on the back burner. As the kids got older, though, this consistency became more “on” than “off”.
It paid off. I see my married kids doing the same with their children. They are even more solicitous than I was. It warms my heart.
#8. We were open to the friends of my children. We were picky, but we were open. They came over often and took part in our home life. We fed them, they often stopped by the store and picked things up for us for dinner. It was a give-give situation.
Very seldom did I go to bed until I knew everyone was either gone, or my oldest son at home was left in charge. No one went off to form little groups, everything was done together. We played games with the kids, sang songs, had bonfires.
If any of our girls were of courting age, this is how we got to know the potential suitor and how they got to know us. And believe me, true personalities came out during games!!
#9. We have a strict dress code in our family but we have fun with it. Some of the girls sew, we love pretty colors and flowy, feminine things. The girls make the ribbon flowers to embellish their clothes and hair. We wear colors for the seasons and just enjoy dressing well.
Their clothing is not thought of as a negative thing…what they can’t wear. It’s about the amazing choices and colors and materials we CAN use! And my daughters know they are respected, as women, for the way they dress. In general, they don’t give it too much thought (that we are so different in that aspect from the world), it is just a way of life and always has been.
#10. Our technology is very closely monitored. Only my husband and I know the password to our computer and my phone is always locked. The older girls can look at recipes or something they want to buy on Amazon but it is not in a private place and it is not for long periods of time (which they don’t desire anyway…it is a means to an end for them).
They can ask to look at my phone, my Facebook account, if they wish, it is an open book and I don’t mind. But for the most part, they don’t use the internet much. They are all pretty good typists, though, and they know the basics.
The older girls have flip-phones and texting is not opened up until they are courting. They don’t have smart phones. (Our daughter, Rosie, now has a smart phone. She is older – 24 – and responsible with it.)
Don’t ever think your kids are above looking at stuff they shouldn’t. No, they are curious…especially boys, but girls, too. Be solicitous! We’ve slipped up here and there and I was given a reality check….that the devil is waiting to pounce on my own kids, too!!
#11. The Rosary has been our mainstay throughout the years. When it was forgotten, it wasn’t intentional. See the post My Little Story About the Rosary.
We also went to daily Mass as much as we could. There were many days, months, years, when hubby was working lots of hours, I was nursing or pregnant and homeschooling and it was too much to go to Mass every day. I would go in spurts or try to make it at least one more time a week besides Sunday. We are now back at it but it is easier because I don’t have lots of little people at home.
A couple of years back I was scratching my head wondering how the last half of our kids were going to turn out. Truly, the dynamics have changed around here (not in a bad way…just changed) and I was nervous how this was going to affect the next batch of kids.
As I was digging around for a solution, I came up with one…..Get back to daily Mass! So I have given that quandary (my kids and how they will turn out) right back to Our Lord and I am going to let Him figure it out. He’s doing pretty good! 😀
#12. Our girls have realized right from the get-go what an incredible and awesome “career choice” is Wifehood and Motherhood! They don’t see it as a “dumbing-down”, they see it as a privilege. They are open to life and they look forward to the day their vocation, as a religious sister or a mother, is shown to them so they can dig in! They know their purpose in life.
Therefore, and this is a big THEREFORE,… they are not antsy for college or a career. Their lives are so full, either helping us with our busy lifestyle, at our parish, or, recently, helping with nieces and nephews, etc., that the farthest thing from their mind is to seek a career outside the home!
They stay home until they are married. Life is full…no need to look elsewhere!
My husband and I have tried to show them, and I think we have succeeded, what an awesome thing Catholic Family Life is! It takes work, you need to be counter-cultural, but it all comes with so many blessings!
And my girls see it. They look around at what other girls their age and of the world are doing and they don’t want it. They feel very blessed!
An aside here….This next batch of girls coming up have seen a lot of the struggles of married life and motherhood from their older siblings. They look at it with a little more trepidation….hehe…than my first children. But they will be ready when the time comes, I am confident of that.
Well, there you have the list. Remember….in between each of those numbers should be another part….the part that says we were inadequate and didn’t do it all perfectly or with always the right attitude.
Once again, that should encourage all of us that it can be done….even with our weak humanness!
And, of course, I am not saying our way is THE way. You can pick and choose those things that may help you in your own family.
AND if you have lots of pieces to pick up….look up!God is not wanting in miracles! Miracles that change lives!
We are called to be great Apostles of Love in our ordinary, daily life. We are Christ’s Hands and Feet as we wipe noses, feed hungry little ones and change diapers with an attitude of service and love. When we are cheerful to those we rub shoulders with each day, when we kindly open our door to those who enter into our home, we are taking part in Christ’s Apostolic Work. “Jesus was an Apostle in the stable of Bethlehem, in the shop of St. Joseph, in His anguish in Gethsemane and on Calvary no less than when He was going through Palestine, teaching the multitudes or disputing with the doctors of the law.” – Divine Intimacy, Painting by Morgan Weistling http://amzn.to/2p0dxg8 (afflink)
Sign up for the Advent Giveaway by following this link!
A beautiful Advent CD sung by a beautiful Benedictine Order of Nuns…Benedictines of Mary, Queen of Apostles.
💖💙This Maglet is for you, lovely wives, who have dedicated your life to your faith and to your husband.
If it is in God’s providence you bring children into the world, your goal is to raise a wholesome, dedicated Catholic family…in an ungodly world. This is a seemingly insurmountable task considering the obstacles before us.
Our first line of defense is the bond we must have with our husband. Besides our spiritual life, which gives us the grace to do so, we must put our relationship with our husband first. It is something we work on each day.
How do we do this? Many times it is just by a tweaking of the attitude, seeing things from a different perspective. It is by practicing the virtues….self-sacrifice, submission, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.
The articles in this maglet will help you with these things. They are written by authors that are solid Catholics, as well as authors with old-fashioned values.
Take this information to heart and your life will be filled with many blessings!
Let Mrs. Newland show you how to introduce even your littlest ones to God and develop in your growing children virtues such as:
The habit of regular prayer
Genuine love of the Rosary
A sense of the dignity of work
Devotion to Mary and the saints
A proper love for the things of this world and for the things of Heaven
Attentiveness at Mass
Love for the Eucharist
An understanding and love of purity
The ability to make good confessions
And dozens of other skills, habits, and virtues that every good Catholic child needs
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by Leane VanderPutten
As we forge on through January, the New Year is like a fresh book with 365 blank sheets of paper. A beautiful volume, with gilded papers and pastel-painted flowers (or butterflies) running across each page….a book just waiting to have its lines filled.
