Category Archives: Attitude

The Things That Matter—and The Things That Don’t ~ Charlotte Siems

03 Friday Feb 2023

Posted by in Attitude, by Charlotte Siems, Special Websites

≈ 4 Comments

 I think we all could take a step back…and we do when we or someone we love goes through some kind of crisis….and take stock of what we have deemed important up to that point. Adjustments are made and then forgotten. In the busy-ness of our lives, we fail to remember.
Charlotte Siems reminds us…

Painting by Marcel Marlier (Belgian)

There are things that matter and we think they don’t.

There are things that don’t matter much and we think they do.

It’s not that we purposely set out to ignore important things or elevate unimportant things. We just get busy and busier. Before we know it there’s a skewed sense of priorities.

We forget what we’ll wish we’d done when we’re fifty-three or seventy-two.

In the daily-ness of wiping noses and grocery shopping and genuine exhaustion we somehow lose the vision. We forget what we’ll be glad we did when we’re drawing our last breaths. Or sitting at the bedside of a loved one drawing theirs.

There’s nothing like a crisis to help us sort out which is which. I’m grateful that we’re not in a season of crisis. But watching Facebook acquaintances walk through the valley of the shadow of cancer and the death of children has given me a little shot of perspective lately.

And speaking of perspective, here’s a personal, off-the-top-of-my-head, short list of things that matter:

  • Hugs
  • Changing diapers with love rather than impatience, even when the diaper wearer is three years old
  • Paying attention to my husband and thinking about him during the day
  • Speaking well of my children to others, especially when those children can overhear
  • Oohing and aahing over Lego creations and stick drawings and dandelions clutched in a sweaty little fist
  • Making the effort to make holidays special, even the small ones (*My note ~ making feast days special…even the small ones)
  • Helping people feel special on their birthday
  • Being kind to bedwetters

Things that don’t matter much:

  • Watching other people live life on TV and Pinterest instead of living my own
  • Impressing other homeschool moms with my children’s accomplishments
  • Complaining about how I feel
  • Letting how I feel determine how hard I try to treat others well
  • Fingerprints on doorframes and refrigerators
  • Finishing workbooks and perfecting handwriting at the cost of personal relationships
  • Constantly pushing children with what they need to do better rather than encouraging them with what they do well
  • Ignoring my husband, figuring he’s a big boy

The lists could go on, of course. If you think of something to add, please do.

The wisdom and training you give to your child will determine the outcome. It is not the time to give in to weariness, indifference, laziness or careless neglect. Their souls are in your hands. ~Finer Femininity (Painting by Tasha Tudor)

Lenten Giveaway!!

The winner will receive these lovely items to add to your Lenten/Book collection!

Just leave a comment by following this link and your name will be added to the “hat”! Winner will be announced next Tuesday, Feb. 6th!

The following pages in this Mother’s Maglet (magazine/booklet) is for you…to inspire you in your daily walk as a loving, strong, patient Catholic mother. As mothers we have an awesome responsibility, as one of the key people in our children’s lives, to help mold them into happy, well-adjusted, faith-filled adults. This Maglet is filled with unique articles and anecdotes to help you in this journey.It is unique because most of the articles are written by men and women (some priests and a Dominican nun) who have lived in an age where common sense was more of the norm. Their advice and experience are timeless and invaluable… Available here.
All 6 Maglets available here.

Meet Saint John, a little fellow with a huge heart,who did ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD and learned to love Him enormously! Being different from others is never easy. Saint John the Dwarf, of all people, could tell you that! Forever standing on chairs to reach things, unable to play games with other children because of his size, and being teased by the village bullies were all hard things to bear, and could have made John bitter and full of self-pity. But John discovered a secret – a great BIG secret – which changed his life and turned him into a giant of a saint. Join Little John on his adventures – from his home to a desert cave, to the altar and beyond – and let him teach you his secret of holiness too!With charming full-color illustrations and easy-to-read text, this first book in Susan Peek’s new series for children (companion to her series for teens, “God’s Forgotten Friends: Lives of Little-known Saints”) is sure to capture the hearts of Catholic children everywhere.


A new historical novel about the unusual life of King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, the leper crusader king who – despite ascending to the throne at only 13, his early death at 24 and his debilitating disease – performed great and heroic deeds in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. Teenagers and avid readers of all ages will be amazed at this story and be inspired by a faith that accomplished the impossible!

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A Beautiful and Happy Home

17 Tuesday Jan 2023

Posted by in Attitude, Family Life, Kindness

≈ 2 Comments

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What do you think makes a beautiful and happy home? How important is this?

Having a happy home is crucial to the spreading of our faith. To whom do we want to spread our faith? First of all, to our children. They need to see the deep and lasting beauty of our faith shining forth in our everyday lives, making our home beautiful and happy. Our faith should be the undercurrent in the everyday bubbling brook, that flows into every facet of our lives.

This happiness does not have to be unrealistic. Life is what it is and there are many days where the smiles don’t come as easy and nerves are rawer because of whatever is upsetting the apple cart at the time. These are opportunities too.

Father Curtis,  over this past weekend, said that if our kids see ONLY that life is perfect at home, if they grow  up wearing rose-colored glasses all the time, they are going to get quite a jolt when they enter into their own vocation and it is less than perfect…and it will be. So it is good that the kids see reality, too.

That being said, we need to create a home that is joyful and lovely, in amongst the “real”-ness.

J.R. Miller gives us a lovely analogy of moss on an old thatch of a ruin, comparing it to the love that surrounds and covers a multitude of sins and makes an imperfect home, with imperfect souls dwelling therein, a fortress of beauty and happiness.

SECRETS OF HAPPY HOME LIFE – J.R. Miller

Few things we can do in this world are so well worth doing as the making of a beautiful and happy home. He who does this builds a sanctuary for God and opens a fountain of blessing for men.
Far more than we know do the strength and beauty of our lives depend upon the home in which we dwell. He who goes forth in the morning from a happy, loving, prayerful home, into the world’s strife, temptation, struggle, and duty, is strong — inspired for noble and victorious living.

The children who are brought up in a true home go out trained and equipped for life’s battles and tasks, carrying in their hearts a secret of strength which will make them brave and loyal to God, and will keep them pure in the world’s sorest temptations.

We may all do loving service, therefore, by helping to make one of the world’s homes — the one in which we dwell — brighter and happier. No matter how plain it may be, nor how old-fashioned, if love be in it, if prayer connect it with heaven, if Christ’s benediction be upon it, it will be a transfigured spot. Poverty is no cross if the home be full of bright cheer. Hardest toil is light if love sings its songs amid the clatter.

“Dear Moss,” said the thatch on an old ruin, ” I am so worn, so patched, so ragged, really I am quite unsightly. I wish you would come and cheer me up a little. You will hide all my infirmities and defects; and, through your loving sympathy, no finger of contempt or dislike will be pointed at me.”

“I come,” said the moss; and it crept up and around, and in and out, till every flaw was hidden, and all was smooth and fair. Presently the sun shone out, and the old thatch looked bright and fair, a picture of rare beauty, in the golden rays.

“How beautiful the thatch looks!” cried one who saw it. “How beautiful the thatch looks! “said another. “Ah!” said the old thatch, “rather let them say, ‘ how beautiful is the loving moss!’ For it spends itself in covering up all my faults, keeping the knowledge of them all to herself, and, by her own grace, making my age and poverty wear the garb of youth and luxuriance.”

So it is that love covers the plainness and the ruggedness of the lowliest home. It hides its dreariness and its faults. It softens its roughness. It changes its pain into profit, and its loss into gain.

Let us live more for our homes. Let us love one another more. Let us cease to complain, criticize, and contradict each other. Let us be more patient with each other’s faults. Let us not keep back the warm, loving words that lie in our hearts, until it is too late for them to give comfort. Soon separations will come. One of every wedded pair will stand by the other’s coffin and grave. Then every bitter word spoken, and every neglect of love’s duty, will be as a thorn in the heart.

 
“Be merry, really merry. The life of a true Christian should be a perpetual jubilee….A prelude to the Festivals of Eternity.”
-St. Theophane Venard
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Father Francis Finn SJ was an early 20th-century Jesuit priest who wrote delightful children’s stories about life in Jesuit boarding schools. Taken from his years of experience teaching Catholic boys, Father Finn writes about various human personalities with warmth and humor that makes for enjoyable reading for all types.

This delightful story centers on 10-year-old Tom Playfair who is quite a handful for his well-meaning but soft-hearted aunt. Mr. Playfair, his widowed father, decides to ship his son off to St. Maure’s boarding school–an all-boys academy run by Jesuits–to shape him up, as well as to help him make a good preparation for his upcoming First Communion. Tom is less than enthusiastic, but his adventures are just about to begin. Life at St. Maure’s will not be dull as the reader will soon find out…

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The story opens upon Claude Lightfoot, a reckless 12 year old boy who constantly acts first and thinks later. After being in clash with some bullies, Claude is obliged to miss his First Communion. In the course of the story, Fr. Finn manages to cover a host of topics, including smoking, drinking, the devil, Confession, Holy Communion, retaining one s Baptismal innocence, the 9 First Fridays, the priesthood, mothers and sisters, truthfulness, lying, courage, effeminacy, atheism, sacrilege, baseball, Americanism (true and false), Latin, virtue, honor, leadership, etc.

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Gems on Loving our Gents

03 Tuesday Jan 2023

Posted by in Attitude, Loving Wife

≈ 4 Comments

The wonderful priest who gave us our pre-marriage instruction told us it would be the little things that make or break our marriage. Here are some little things that can make a big difference in your relationship!

My own rendition based on an excerpt from the book  100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

Do unto others….

We hear it a lot but it is profound. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This goes especially for your spouse…..always choose love, above all things.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Small irritations are not that important. We need to let them go. If we don’t, they build up until they become a mountain that is hard to climb over. He doesn’t take out the garbage? He is always late for dinner? He is always leaving things around? He goes hunting when you would rather he stayed home? Truly, these things are not important. Overlook them and get on to looking at his better side and being thankful! The rewards of a grateful heart are many!

The big stuff may take a little sweat.

There are sometimes big things that DO count. Don’t push those ones down. Try to work these ones out. This can be difficult but it is worth it. The big things need to be dealt with or walls will begin to build between you both. Walls are not good and get thicker as the years go by. If talking to him about these things is not working, pray for a different solution. Our Lord will answer a sincere heart. Often the answers may be different than what we expect…so be open.

Greet him when he comes home with a loving smile.

A smile speaks volumes. Let your husband know you are happy to see him by smiling at him. Even when you are tired or have had a bad day. You want your husband to love coming home to you, don’t you? Put your troubles aside just for a moment to make his day a wonderful one with a warm, loving smile. He probably didn’t get a lot of smiles out there in the world, so let yours be one of the few and the very best that he can look forward to each day!

You need to make it a priority to pray for your hubby!

Every day you need to lift your husband up in prayer. Ask St. Joseph to help him to be a good husband and father. He needs you, who are his closest companion, to lift him up each day to our Heavenly Father. Ask Our Lord to protect him and to protect your marriage. What a wonderful gift a praying wife is!

Remember he’s not your girlfriend.

This is important to remember. He doesn’t always relate to the needs of a woman, so don’t be unreasonable in your expectations. He won’t always understand what you are feeling or what you are going through. He is different, he is a man. His heart and his mind work differently than ours. Don’t demand that he be something he can never be.

Make him your best friend.

Friendship needs to be invested in. It needs to be worked on and nurtured. Do that for your most important relationship, your marriage. Find things you both enjoy and do those things. Talk, laugh, work and play together. Open up to him about your dreams….and make sure you ask about his own dreams.

Accept him….don’t change him.

Remember why you married him. He has many good points and he is a good man just as he is. Yes, he has faults. Don’t you? Leave the changing up to God. His work is way more efficacious than yours ever could be. Just. Love. Him.

Work on becoming a wiser woman each day.

Your husband relies on your wisdom. He would like to count on you for advice and insight. There are ways to give this advice…..learn how to do it so as never to offend. Wait to be asked.

Overlook his mistakes.

Of course your hubby will mess up sometimes. Is his communication lousy? Does he forget things that mean a lot to you? Does he not follow through? This all can be frustrating but we need to give him room to make mistakes, forgive him and love him anyway. Don’t hold it against him. After all, he is human, like we are.

“A man feels ‘successful’ when he knows his woman is behind him – no matter what his other accomplishments may be. He needs to know that she believes in him…That she thinks he’s a terrific husband (not perfect – just terrific). A first-rate guy. And, if there are children, that he’s a fine dad too….That she thinks the world of him, even though he might mess up or make mistakes.” – Lisa Jacobson

Here is a simple outline to ensure we are carrying out our daily duties as best we can on this road we travel as Catholic women. This is my own list of what I deem the basics of a successful day. It is an ideal I strive for. You may have your own plan, and I hope you do. If this can help in any way, then I have accomplished my goal with this video.

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Thank you, Meghan Foshay! 

Durable and Beautiful Wire Wrapped Rosaries! Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality.

Available here.

 

Love to Read? Take a look at My Book List for some great reading material!

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Gladden Your Hearts! ~ Fr. Lasance

28 Wednesday Dec 2022

Posted by in Attitude, Be Cheerful/Helps to Happiness

≈ 3 Comments

This message is so simple, yet so powerful! Do you want to attract others to Christ, do you want your children to desire what you deem important in this life? Then, BE CHEERFUL!

From Kindness – The Bloom of Charity by Father Lasance

Montaigne says: “The most manifest sign of wisdom is contented cheerfulness, and it is undoubtedly true that a cheerful man has a creative power which a pessimist never possesses.”

Lew Wallace tells us: “A man’s task is always light if his heart is light,” and there is wisdom in the Spanish proverb: “Who sings in grief procures relief.”

The presence of a good and cheerful man acts like an invigorating tonic upon all around him. Nothing disturbs the equanimity of his spirit, which springs from the peace of God in his heart.

Peace with God implies the state of grace, a good conscience, submission to and fulfillment of the divine will. Peace with self implies the mastery over one’s passions, the consciousness of duty well done, the approval of one’s conscience. Peace with one’s neighbor implies the commandment of love, the observance of the golden rule: “As you would that men should do to you, do you also to them in like manner.” (Luke vi. 31.) This threefold peace is the basis of happiness.

A cheerful Christian is a rebuke to the world, whose votaries make it a matter of reproach against religion that it sends men to learn the solemn lessons of the grave and casts a blight upon life, that meditation on the eternal truths tends to stifle endeavor, to paralyze our energies, and to sadden our days.

Religion really tends to gladden our hearts and to make our days calm and tranquil. “Rejoice in the Lord always!” applies to all true Christians. They ought always to be cheerful, and their joy should find expression in deeds of kindness and helpfulness to all with whom they come in contact.

They ought to heed the Words of Our Lord to His followers: “Be of good cheer!” Life today is so strenuous that there is constant need of relief from its strain, and a sunny, cheerful, gracious soul is like a sea breeze in sultry August or like a “draught of cool refreshment drained by fevered lips.”

The author of “The Floral Apostles,” referring to the crocus and the primrose as the emblems of cheerfulness, says: “Cheerfulness furnishes the best soil for the growth of goodness and virtue. It is also the best of moral and mental tonics.

‘A glad heart maketh a cheerful countenance, but by grief of mind the spirit is cast down.’ (Prov. xv. 13.)

‘A joyful mind maketh age flourishing; a sorrowful spirit drieth up the bones.’ (Prov. xvii. 22.)”

We can all acquire greater cheerfulness by assuming the right mental attitude toward our environment and circumstances, by looking habitually at the bright side of things, by training ourselves persistently to see the good and pleasant things in our common, daily life.

Some persons seem to have eyes only for the disagreeable things that happen to come into their life; they forget or overlook their blessings, and brood over their trials and misfortunes.

The soothing line in “The Rainy Day”: “Behind the clouds is the sun still shining,” does not comfort them.

Stevenson says: “Two men looked out through their prison bars; the one saw mud and the other stars.”

Let us learn to look at life not to find misery and discomfort in it, but to find goodness, gladness, and beauty.

A poet was gazing one day at a beautiful rose-tree. “What a pity,” said he, “that these roses have thorns!” A man who was passing by remarked: “Let us rather thank our good God for having allowed these thorns to have roses.”

Ah! how we also ought to thank God for the many joys and blessings that He grants us in spite of our sins, instead of complaining about the slight troubles that He sends us.

A good suggestion in regard to any past trouble or humiliation is this: “Let it go!” “Forget it!” An optimist writes: “If you had an unfortunate experience this last year forget it. If you have made a failure in your speech, your song, your book, or your article; if you have been placed in an embarrassing position, if you have been deceived and hurt by one whom you looked upon as a friend, if you have been slandered and abused, do not dwell upon it, do not brood over it; forget it!

There is not a single redeeming feature in these memories. Do not make yourself unhappy by keeping on the walls of your heart the pictures of vanished joys and faded hopes. Forget them. Count your blessings. Be of good cheer.”

 

Only in Heaven will we understand what a divine marvel the Holy Mass is. No matter how much effort we apply and no matter how holy and inspired we are, we can only stammer if we would explain this Divine Work, which surpasses men and angels. -Fr. Stefano Manelli, Jesus Our Eucharistic Love 

 

 

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The rosary, scapulars, formal prayers and blessings, holy water, incense, altar candles. . . . The sacramentals of the Holy Catholic Church express the supreme beauty and goodness of Almighty God. The words and language of the blessings are beautiful; the form and art of statues and pictures inspire the best in us. The sacramentals of themselves do not save souls, but they are the means for securing heavenly help for those who use them properly. A sacramental is anything set apart or blessed by the Church to excite good thoughts and to help devotion, and thus secure grace and take away venial sin or the temporal punishment due to sin. This beautiful compendium of Catholic sacramentals contains more than 60,000 words and over 50 full color illustrations that make the time-tested sacramental traditions of the Church – many of which have been forgotten since Vatican II – readily available to every believer.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Published 80 years ago, this Catholic classic focuses on the Christian family and uses as its foundation the1929 encyclical “On Christian Education of Youth” coupled with the “sense of Faith.” Addressing family topics and issues that remain as timely now as they were when the guide was first published, “The Christian Home” succinctly offers sound priestly reminders and advice in six major areas…

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8 Ways to Nurture Your Relationship

21 Wednesday Dec 2022

Posted by in Attitude, Loving Wife

≈ 1 Comment

Don’t ever underestimate the influence you have in your little world, starting with your husband!

From 100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

  1. Share interests together.

As many as possible. See how you can join him in his hobbies and invite him to share in yours. Even if you don’t both enjoy the same things, at the very least you can be interested and enthusiastic about what interests him. And then look for activities that you can both learn to enjoy together as well. Start something new if you have to.

2. Laugh at his jokes.

Yes, even if you’ve heard them before. Laugh because it’s funny and laugh because it’s healing.

3. Remember the one you fell in love with.

Don’t let him get lost in the dailiness of life. And if it seems that you’ve become distracted and weighed down, take some time off to renew your love for each other. Take a holiday. Slow down. Or simply remind yourself that he is the one you love.

4. Fix his favorite foods.

You know what they say about the way to a man’s heart….

5. Listen sympathetically to his day.

Sometimes being a friend means simply caring about the little things – and the big things – that go in his world. Put aside time and make it a priority to hear about what goes on with him. It’s one of those little connecting points that add up over time.

6. Put your love for God first.

The most loving thing you can do for your husband is to invest in your relationship with your God above all.

7. Reach out and touch.

A tender touch can do so much good – for you both. Even when things aren’t going too well, sometimes this one simple, but loving gesture can soften spirits and ease the tension.

8. Remember you are a powerful influence in his life.

Women of influence. That’s what was featured on the cover of the magazine. The fifty faces of women who’ve been recognized as having significant influence. A truly impressive collection.

So I don’t know why it had this effect on me, but I looked at those 50 women and immediately felt small. Inconsequential. Unknown. A nobody. Because, of course, my picture will never be on the front of that magazine. Not that I’ve ever aspired to such a place. But still… I was somehow struck by my insignificance.

I know it’s not right – or even reasonable – for me to think this way. Yet it managed to stir up so many of my insecurities and self-doubts that I began questioning whether I’d do anything meaningful with my life. Ever.

After all, who am I? No one really.

The dark, defeating doubts swirled around as I brewed a fresh pot of coffee for my husband and continued with me as I trudged up the stairs to his home office. I poured him a cup and then began pouring out my pitiful-me thoughts before him. Poor meaningless me.

I jabbered on and on about how I never amounted to much and probably never would….When suddenly and unexpectedly my pity-party came to a complete stop. I realized that my husband wasn’t paying the least attention to me. He wasn’t really listening at all, but smiling at something in front of him.

What? What was distracting him? Then I saw it. Right smack in the middle of his desk sat a nicely framed photograph of his beloved wife. Yes, that would be me. Nobody else. Not one single photo of the Fifty Women of Influence was placed before him. Just little, simple, wifey me.

And then came the moment of revelation: I am a woman of influence. Tremendous influence. You see, it’s my face that’s featured on the cover of his life. Because amazingly enough, the Lord has chosen this woman to be that man’s wife. Which means it’s me – and only me – who completes him.

Who recognizes his strengths.

Who balances out his weaknesses.

Who builds him up.

Who understands him like no one else.

Who encourages him when he’s down or discouraged.

Who sleeps by his side at night.

Who stands behind him.

Who brings out the best in him.

Who loves him for who he is.

It had never occurred to me before, but I’m becoming a woman of great influence.

But you know what else? So are you. You also are a woman of consequence and have a powerful role to play in your husband’s life.

You are the most influential woman in his world. And to my way of thinking, that is one of the highest honors and privilege a woman can hold.

So it looks like I am significant – even if it’s only in the eyes of one man.

Yet it’s the one man who matters most in my life.

My photograph is placed prominently where all the world can see it. Or better yet – where he can see it.

A powerful woman of influence.

“Cultivate kindness of heart; think well of your fellow-men; look with charity upon the shortcomings in their lives; do a good turn for them, as opportunity offers; and, finally, don’t forget the kind word at the right time. How much such a word of kindness, encouragement, of appreciation means to others sometimes, and how little it costs us to give it!” -J.R. MIller

 

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Beginning with the first day of Advent and continuing through the Feast of the Baptism of Our Lord, these selections from the immortal pen of Fulton J. Sheen encourage readers to explore the essence and promise of the season. Those looking to grow in their prayer life and become more attuned to the joy of Advent and Christmas will find a wonderful guide in this spiritual companion….

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Happiness in a Home ~ Fr. Lasance

24 Wednesday Aug 2022

Posted by in Attitude, FF Tidbits, Tidbits for Your Day

≈ 1 Comment

f7f0e3d6e87fd159841050ea766d8a43Tidbits from Father Lasance…..

My Prayer Book

What is it That Secures Happiness in a Home?

Before everything religion. Let all love well our good God; let all observe the commandments of God and the Church; let all say their prayers morning and night, let all put their trust in Divine Providence.

In the next place, union; let the members of the household be affectionate toward one another, having only one heart and one soul, not saying or doing anything that can pain any one of them.

Then again, the spirit of sacrifice; we must be ready to do without something in order to make another member of the family enjoy it, we must give up our own personal tastes to conform to the tastes of others.

Finally, pliancy of character; not to be hard to deal with, touchy, sour, proud; not to be obstinately rooted on one’s ideas, not to grow impatient about mere nothings, but to have a  large mind and a generous heart.

The home of a family whose members possess these qualities is a paradise on earth.

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There are other things than merely food and clothing, which make up a a good home. Love and kindness are essential to a happy home; – not the mistaken love and the foolish kindness which give way to every selfish whim of childhood, but the patient, far-seeing virtues that look beyond the present to the child’s future life here and hereafter.

Children, particularly boys, need to be studied and understood. They need to be treated justly, but kindly.

The tolerant father and mother who try to understand their children are too few. They want to drive the boys, whereas they should rather try to lead them.

It is of very little use for parents to preach the virtues to children while they themselves disregard them.

If you would have children just and kind, well-mannered and truthful, be all these things yourself first. These virtues practiced by the parents, and insisted upon kindly and firmly from the children, are what go to make up that which truly deserves to be called “a good home.”

-The Sentinel of the Blessed Sacrament

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The Power of a Smile

An excellent remedy for “the blues” and preventive of dumpishness will be found in the suggestion, “Keep the corners of your mouth turned up”; in other words, keep a smile upon your lips, even when you are alone.

Try it. It acts like a charm, It keeps one in good spirits, and it drives the frown from other faces too. It acts like sunshine. It warms and brightens all it falls upon. A smile will suppress the angry retort that is dancing on the quivering lips. Smiling faces make a peaceful, happy home.

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“True love gives strength of character and assists in the acquisition of self-control. It never takes advantage of another for the sake of personal gratification. To preserve bodily integrity before marriage, a young man must also possess some knowledge of women. Good and pure-minded women inspire respect and make the task of a young man easy, for he will have no difficulty in keeping the right distance.” – Father Lovasik, Clean Love in Courtship

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A mother of eleven, grandmother of twenty-five discusses the dynamics of Catholic family life that helped them to form their children into God-fearing, joyful Catholics….

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A must-read for the married and those considering marriage! This guidebook to finding a happy marriage, keeping a happy marriage, and raising happy children has been out of print for over 50 years…until now! From the master of the spiritual life, Raoul Plus, S.J., it contains loads of practical and spiritual advice on family life. Have you been looking for a handbook on marriage and raising children that is based on truth? You’ve found it!

The saints assure us that simplicity is the virtue most likely to draw us closer to God and make us more like Him.

No wonder Jesus praised the little children and the pure of heart! In them, He recognized the goodness that arises from an untroubled simplicity of life, a simplicity which in the saints is completely focused on its true center, God.

That’s easy to know, simple to say, but hard to achieve.

For our lives are complicated and our personalities too. (We even make our prayers and devotions more complicated than they need be!)

In these pages, Fr. Raoul Plus provides a remedy for the even the most tangled lives.

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Mental Hygiene ~ The Catholic Teacher’s Companion

11 Thursday Aug 2022

Posted by in Attitude, Catholic Teacher's Companion, Education, Health and Wellness, Parenting

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This book, The Catholic Teacher’s Companion, has been a real gem! It was written for teaching sisters and this excerpt touches on the mental state of a person and how it affects one’s physical health….

From The Catholic Teacher’s Companion, 1924

In his helpful book Health through Will Power, Dr. James J. Walsh has drawn attention to the surprising power of the will for preserving or recovering one’s health.

The author draws on his wide reading and long experience to prove that the simple exercise of natural will-power is all that is required to cure half the ills of life. All the “dreads” can be cured by scientifically strengthening the will, and recovery from such diseases as pneumonia and tuberculosis depends largely on the patient’s vigor of will.

He counsels the use of the saints’ ascesis, in hours of stress and strain, instead of the “good cry,” which, in his opinion, only weakens the character.

The teacher has a double duty to perform in this respect, one toward herself and another toward her pupils.

Professor La Rue therefore demands justly in his book Psychology for Teachers, that the teacher live a life of mental health in the presence of her pupils; she must daily show them a living example of a big, strong, purposeful, well-poised, good-humored, sympathetic soul.

To this end he gives the following rules of mental hygiene:

1. Look at life in the large. Take a big view of things.

2. Pursue a great purpose. Whoever seeks his own selfish will is traveling toward zero; but he who seeks to serve mankind and her God in the children, is facing toward infinity.

3. Practice mental hardening. Children should be taught to meet and conquer all their ordinary worries and troubles, and not to shun them.

4. Keep your poise. Many people fail because of over-anxiety lest they fail.

5. Form good mental habits:

I. Habits of the intellect:

(1) Planning: there should be an ideal for life, a plan for the year, a program for the day.

“The difficulty,” says Judd, speaking of over-worked teachers, in Genetic Psychology for Teachers, “is not so much in the fact that teachers have to think and plan, as that they come to their work in a state of mental confusion and excitement which renders any task difficult.”

(2) Concentration, unit-mindedness, the one-thing-at-a-time attitude, distinguishes the master mind. Work when you work and play when you play. One must concentrate on recreation as well as on work.

Don’t spoil your game or your walk by carrying all through it a load of anxious thought.

And on going to bed, learn to turn off consciousness as you do your electric light.

Observe that the child in school is prevented from planning the larger features of his work, and that school conditions often favor distraction rather than concentration.

It is sad to think how many children are probably contracting bad mental habits in school.

II. Emotional health requires that we kill off the feelings that are bad for us and practice those that are good for us.

There is reason to believe that a large proportion, if not the major portion, of those who lose their positions do not lack either intellect or skill, but emotional control.

Many are egocentric, paranoid, have too much self-feeling; others are emotionally unstable; and still others, emotionally weak.

One’s prevailing mental state should be that of happiness and humor. It is surprising to find how much can be accomplished by just setting the mind to be happy whatever the circumstances.

Humor is like an application of mental massage which flushes out fatigue poisons and limbers one up all through. It lets loose the tensity of mental currents. The mind seems to relax, straighten up from its work, and take a long, fresh breath.

III. Quiet but effective determination must keep the mental machine running smoothly, rousing us to kill off some thoughts and feelings and promote others.

God’s grace coupled with natural will-power can accomplish wonders with a frail body.

Almost every Religious Order has cases similar to that of the Master General of the Dominicans, Father Cormier, who being professed as a preparation for death, outlived all his fellow-novices, and having joined the Order to efface himself, was from the beginning put upon the candlestick to be a light for his brethren.

But even the confirmed invalid has a real mission to perform in the Religious Community.

Canon Sheehan contended that there should be an invalid and an incurable one in every Religious Community, if only to bring God nearer to the Brothers or Sisters in His great love.

“Every effort we make to forget self, to leave self behind us, and to devote ourselves to the labor of making every person with whom we are bound to live, happy, is rewarded by interior satisfaction and joy. The supreme effort of goodness is,—not alone to do good to others; that is its first and lower effect,—but to make others good.” Rev. Bernard O’Reilly The Mirror of True Womanhood, 1893 https://amzn.to/2o35uN3 (afflink)

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Women historically have been denigrated as lower than men or viewed as privileged. Dr. Alice von Hildebrand characterizes the difference between such views as based on whether man’s vision is secularistic or steeped in the supernatural. She shows that feminism’s attempts to gain equality with men by imitation of men is unnatural, foolish, destructive, and self-defeating. The Blessed Mother’s role in the Incarnation points to the true privilege of being a woman. Both virginity and maternity meet in Mary who exhibits the feminine gifts of purity, receptivity to God’s word, and life-giving nurturance at their highest.

You’ll learn how to grow in wisdom and in love as you encounter the unglamorous, everyday problems that threaten all marriages. As the author says: If someone were to give me many short bits of wool, most likely I would throw them away. A carpet weaver thinks differently. He knows the marvels we can achieve by using small things artfully and lovingly. Like the carpet weaver, the good wife must be an artist of love. She must remember her mission and never waste the little deeds that fill her day the precious bits of wool she s been given to weave the majestic tapestry of married love.

This remarkable book will show you how to start weaving love into the tapestry of your marriage today, as it leads you more deeply into the joys of love.

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Enthusiasm ~ Father Narciso Irala

29 Friday Jul 2022

Posted by in Attitude, FF Tidbits

≈ 1 Comment

by Fr. Narciso Irala, S.J., Mental Efficiency Without Fatigue

ENTHUSIASM

If feelings have so great an influence in arousing and maintaining attention because of the interest they call forth, the same may be said even more forcefully of the emotions, since, according to many psychologists, emotions are only an intensification of feelings or sentiments.

Interest, which is such a help to mental work, is transformed into enthusiasm when it reaches the level of emotion, the whole organism being strongly involved. Then it produces a greater vitality and energy, a greater concentration of attention, a greater pleasure, a greater perseverance in effort.

It is proper to all emotions to limit the field of attention by cutting off any other thought in order to concentrate on the emotional focal point.

When someone is afraid of an impending evil, he can hardly think of anything else; the lover cannot avert his thoughts from the person he loves; on making a new discovery, the researcher feels such a thrill of joy and hope that his attention can hardly be drawn away.

When the adolescent, emerging from the egocentricity of childhood, discovers social, patriotic, or religious values, he sets himself an ideal outside of himself and greater than himself. He will then feel untold enthusiasm in the pursuit of his studies and, as a result, greater energy will help him attain this ideal.

It is the beginning of a new life, the dawn of a great day. Everything seems feasible because of his ideal. It is emotion which has thus entered into play.

Ideal = Emotion = Enthusiasm

This trio is all one or, rather, its members constitute the ideological and physiological causes with their psychic effect. There is another corresponding trio:

Concentration = Efficiency = Joy

Let Us Choose Our Ideal

Let us, then, set before ourselves a great objective for our whole lives, a goal toward which we can clearly and constantly aim. In pursuit of this great, clearly conceived ideal there will spontaneously develop an intense and enduring inclination—sensitive and, at the same time, spiritual—toward that goal which satisfies all our aspirations.

The emotional machinery will be set in motion within us, and in the developing of extraordinary energy each of the following will take part: the hypothalamus in our middle brain, the sympathetic nervous system, and the pituitary and suprarenal gland with their wealth of hormones.

That noble ideal will give unity, harmony, vigor, and a sense of fulfilment to our lives, increasing the physical and psychic perfection of our acts. Unity of thought and desire will put an end to parasitic ideas, will facilitate concentration, and will give to work and study the maximum pleasure and efficiency.

Working with but a single thought is not tiring; since it is agreeable, it also helps us rest. For this reason, an ideal which makes us think constantly of what we greatly desire is a source of peace and joy.

That is the reason why, in a nervous breakdown, an effort is made to discover the patient’s attractions or ideals in order to help him rest. This ideal should not be utopian, but suited to our aptitudes and personality; nor should it be at odds with our Supreme God, the last end of man, for in this case there will be a lack of unity which in the long run will be an evil.

The ideal should also be practical of attainment at every moment; in a word, it should help to make us live the present moment with unity and fullness. This gives true happiness.

Establish a Relationship between Our Ideal and Our Work

An undergraduate in Sao Paolo, Brazil, confided this problem to me. He had failed his Latin examination three times and hated the course. I asked him: ‘Have you any goal for your future life?’

`Yes,’ he answered, ‘I should like to be an orator and a writer. I want to help free my country from those villains who govern it only for their own benefit.’

`That is a wonderful ideal,’ I answered, ‘but don’t you see that the best models of oratory and poetry are to be found in Latin literature? Besides, Portuguese is a Romance language, and you will never discover all its treasures unless you know the language from which it is derived—Latin.’

When he began to connect the light and splendor of his golden ideal with this dreaded study of Latin, he not only became interested, but grew so enthusiastic about Latin that in the following examination he received a most respectable grade.

Every educator or speaker, once he knows what he is going to teach, should devote as much time as possible to find methods of arousing interest and enthusiasm in his listeners by appealing to their feelings and emotions.

For our own part, once we have discovered our ideal and have made it concrete, we should summarize it in a few words, so that we can keep it constantly in mind. In this manner, we shall find new life, strength, pleasure, constancy and efficiency.

And St. Francis De Sales says: “The measure of Divine Providence acting on us is the degree of confidence that we have in it.” This is where the problem lies. Many do not believe in Providence because they’ve never experienced it, but they’ve never experienced it because they’ve never jumped into the void and taken the leap of faith. They never give it the possibility to intervene. They calculate everything, anticipate everything, they seek to resolve everything by counting on themselves, instead of counting on God. -Fr. Jacques Philippe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace

What are the stages of courtship? What are the goals in it? How do we do this?

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Salvation and spiritual perfection should not be sought haphazardly; a strategy is needed to win the battle for our souls.

The Spiritual Combat, first published in 1589, provides timeless guidance in spiritual discipline. St. Francis de Sales (1576-1622) read from it himself every day and recommended it to everyone under his direction.

Vigorous, realistic and full of keen insight into human nature, The Spiritual Combat consists of short chapters based on the maxim that in the spiritual life one must either “fight or die”. Fr. Scupoli shows the Christian how to combat his passions and vices, especially impurity and sloth, in order to arrive at victory.

The Way of Trust and Love A Retreat Guided By St. Thérèse of Lisieux Jacques Philippe St. Thérèse of Lisieux sought a new way to Heaven: “a little way that is quite straight, quite short: a completely new little way.” Blessed with personal limitations that might have discouraged another, Thérèse believed God would not have given her a desire for holiness if He did not intend for her to achieve it. She learned to humbly accept herself as she was and trust completely in God’s love. First given as a retreat by renowned author Father Jacques Philippe, The Way of Trust and Love navigates excerpts of St. Thérèse’s writings phrase by phrase, extracting powerful, resonating insights. To Thérèse, the journey seemed “little” as she traveled it. A hundred and fifteen years after her death, the message of the young saint and Doctor of the Church has traveled around the world inspiring millions. With this newly translated study of her spirituality, many today will rediscover—or find for the first time—the relevance of “the little way,” in all seasons of life. Fr. Jacques Philippe is well-known for his books on prayer and spirituality. A member of the Community of the Beatitudes, he regularly preaches retreats in France and abroad. He also spends much of his time giving spiritual direction and working for the development of the Community in Asia and Oceania where he travels frequently.

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Like a Breath of Fresh Air & New Podcast ~ Avoid Nagging

14 Tuesday Jun 2022

Posted by in Attitude, Be Cheerful/Helps to Happiness, Loving Wife, Podcasts - Finer Femininity, Power of Words

≈ 6 Comments

Painting by Edwin Georgi, 1950’s

It is always good to be reminded of the courtesy and respect we owe to those nearest and dearest to us!

100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

It all began in a cafe, like so many of the meaningful moments in my life. He and I were sitting together over a grande latte in the newly-opened coffee shop at the Green Hills Mall when my dear friend Susan walked in.

My face lit up as soon as I spotted her. She and I had only known each other for a short time, but we’d made an immediate connection the minute we met…Soul-sisters.

Our young family had recently moved to Nashville and I’d felt rather alone up until then. Being with her was like a breath of fresh air to me.

So I shot her my sunniest smile, “Hey, girlfriend! C’mon over!”

A big hug before both of us began bubbling over with all the latest news. I complimented her on her new dress. I told her how much I liked the way she was wearing her hair. I thanked her for the book she’d lent me and emphasized how glad I was to see her!

At some point, I noticed how subdued my husband had become. I waited until she’d left us, then asked him what was up. Something was clearly on his mind. I could tell that much.

He said it so softly, I barely heard him. “I wish you’d do that for me.”

“Okay, I don’t mean to be difficult… but do what??”

“Light up with a sweet smile. Speak kindly and say nice things.”

No further explanation was needed. I knew EXACTLY what he was talking about. And he was right. I was all smiles for Susan. Saved my grumpies for him. Rarely bothered with the niceties anymore. Not particularly gracious or polite.

In all honesty? I didn’t offer too much of this kind of thing to my husband. He was supposed to love me “just the way I was”. No frills or syrup for him.

But how hurtful for him to see me put on my “sweet face” for everyone else—everyone except the man to whom I’d pledged my lifelong love. Here I was handing out the big smiles and warm compliments to my new friend….and dribbling out the tired frowns and whiny complaints to him. There’s something not quite right about that.

Now don’t feel badly if you’re cringing. I was cringing too. Somewhat sickened, really….Definitely convicted.

So, girlfriend, that’s what got me thinking…. If we’re putting on our brightest smiles for our sisters… If we’re saving our warmest words for our friends…. If we’re sharing our kindest thoughts with the girls….

Then we might want to consider how hard it must be for him to watch. Maybe he doesn’t mention it, but my guess is that he’d appreciate some of that warmth and kindness shown to him too.

So even if he’s around most every day, why not light up when he walks in the room? Tell him how handsome he’s looking today…. How glad you are to see him. A big hug and maybe a bit more. Put on your sweet face and say nice things.

Be like a breath of fresh air to him.

Be a kind wife.

 
“Home should not be just a place. Rather, it must be THE place. All else should be ‘outside.’ Home should be the center of activities and interests. It was built for births, courtship, marriage, and death. It is maintained so that children might grow, trained by precept and example – so that they will develop spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, just as they do physically.”
– Fr. Lawrence G. Lovasik. The Catholic Family Handbook
“Do not try to remake your husband. Prize your own individuality and put up with his…”

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Dear Young Lady, You are at a very important crossroad in your life. In the next short while your vocation will be settled and you will roll up your sleeves and fulfill God’s will in that role. This will, ultimately, be your means to happiness in this life and in the next.

The decisions you make in this short interim before that will greatly affect your whole life.

While you are waiting for God to manifest His will to you, you want to increase your inner happiness right where you are at, not waiting to be happy AFTER you find your vocation!

That is where this journal comes in. All of the quotes deal with your time in life….whether it is courtship, religious vocations, modesty and just a better spiritual life in general.

You will be disciplined in the next 30 days to write down positive, thankful thoughts in this journal. You will be thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people you are grateful for, etc.

This will help you to work on that inner happiness that needs to be developed even before you find your vocation. Now is the time to improve your life!

With his facile pen and from the wealth of his nation-wide experience, the well-known author treats anything and everything that might be included under the heading of home education: the pre-marriage training of prospective parents, the problems of the pre-school days down through the years of adolescence. No topic is neglected. “What is most praiseworthy is Fr. Lord’s insistence throughout that no educational agency can supplant the work that must be done by parents.” – Felix M. Kirsch, O.F.M. https://amzn.to/2T06u28 (afflink)

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Hectic Days for Helen

18 Wednesday May 2022

Posted by in Attitude, by Leane Vdp, Motherhood

≈ 2 Comments

by Leane VanderPutten

The July day was sunny, the scent of petunias wafted in the air. The air was cooling off a bit and the breeze softly wafted through the branches of the trees. Summer was at its peak.

But Helen was not enjoying the breeze or the flowers.

Helen was tired. Not for any particular reason. Yes, it was summer, the kids were done with their home school and, instead of life slowing down, things seemed to have sped up.

June and July had been particularly hot, they didn’t have a pool, so the children spent time indoors during the heat of the day. Without the schedule of school, mayhem seemed to reign with more frequency than Helen liked.

Helen’s husband, Mark, was working lots of hours. Summer was the time his work became very demanding because he was in the construction field. So he was not around much to help out. And when he got home he was tired and even cranky at times.

“Such is life,” Helen sighed. Lately, things hadn’t been working out the way she had imagined. Instead of enjoying the so-called “lazy days of summer” she was fighting inner turmoil.  She was struggling through the days, battling thoughts of self-pity and complaining.

“Why can’t the kids be quiet now on again?”

“Dirty diapers, dishes, it’s discouraging,” she thought. “And life is only going to get more and more hectic as the years go by. I just don’t know if I can do this!”

This day had been particularly trying so when rosary time came around, amid the slouching children and wriggling baby, she implored Our Lady to help her.

The next day Helen woke up with a terrific pain in her side that didn’t want to leave. It was debilitating so she had to call in a babysitter to take over.

That night was sleepless. The next day, after a doctor’s appointment, she started an antibiotic for a bladder infection.

The antibiotic didn’t work so another one was tried. That one alleviated some of the symptoms for a short while but they came back with a vengeance.

The next couple of weeks were harder than ever for Helen. The worst part was the worry. She didn’t know what this mysterious pain was and, since they didn’t have insurance, she wasn’t going to run in and have a bunch of tests done. At least not right away.

So she was stuck worrying. What happens if it was something really bad? She’d find herself looking at her kids and imagine leaving them to fend for themselves in a crazy world.

When her husband came home,  her thoughts wandered to whether he would be left alone… If this was something that could actually take her life? She pushed a lot of those thoughts away but with her melancholic nature, they kept creeping back.

After a very bad night, finally, Helen went back to the doctor….this time a different doctor. He heard all the symptoms and told her that it sounded like she was just trying to pass a kidney stone.

This was news to Helen! She didn’t understand why the first doctor didn’t spot that?

Her step was a little lighter as she left the doctor’s office even though she still had pain. She got home and drank lots and lots of lemon water and took hydrangea tincture.

Within a few of days, she passed that kidney stone and was feeling much better!

The pain was gone, but the best part was that the worry was gone! With all the imaginings of her having a dread disease she had been tied up in knots!
Now that she knew things were OK, her heart filled with joy and thanksgiving!

The following days things began to get back to normal – hectic life came back full force.

But Helen’s heart had changed, indeed!

It still wasn’t easy to drag herself out of bed in the morning, but her heart was filled with thanksgiving because she could actually get up and take care of her children. Were the children any quieter? No. But she appreciated the laughter and the noise instead of always fighting against it. Did hubby come home earlier? No. But she was grateful that her husband had the work that he did and was not upset that he wasn’t around to help.

Her heart sang as she did the dishes.

She still got impatient, things weren’t flawless, but Helen was seeing things through different eyes.

She thought back on that evening when she implored Our Lady, during the rosary, to help her. She realized how much she had helped – maybe not in the way she had wanted or expected but it didn’t matter. She knew it was a gift right from her Mother‘s hands!

The summer days passed quickly. There were many joys in between the rough spots. Helen had learned a lesson. She hoped it would stick. She prayed it would stick.

Those weeks when things got rather dark for her taught her something special besides being grateful for the daily grind. She made up her mind that she would thank God for her crosses as she was going through them, knowing that He had the best possible plan in mind for her and that good would come from them.

It also came home to her that each new day was a gift. She would work hard at tuning her mind into that at the beginning of the day so that when the day ramped up she would have a spirit of gratefulness in spite of everything else.

As Helen sat outside in the early autumn breeze of the evening, amidst the floating aroma of the petunias, she thought to herself, “Indeed, it has been a very productive summer!”

Is it all about being right when we are having a disagreement? Do we need to be on the defensive each time we feel he is being unreasonable? That only seems fair, doesn’t it? Well, go ahead. But your relationship will suffer. It is more important, not that you “win” or that you always come out feeling like you gave the last verbal punch. Like Our Lord, we win through kindness and meekness.
What it comes down to is: Do you want to be RIGHT or do you want to be HAPPY? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you!” www.finerfem.com

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Father talks about how important our duties of our vocation are, that they are the will of God for us, we need look no further. He touches on the specific duties of each of our different walks of life….