• About
    • Copyright Disclaimer
    • Disclaimer
    • Disclosure Policy
  • My Book List
  • Book List for Catholic Men
  • Book List for the Youth
  • Sermons and Audios
  • Finer Femininity
    • Finer Femininity Meeting
    • Traditional Family Weekend
  • My Morning and Night Prayers
  • Donate to Finer Femininity?
  • Catholic Mother’s Traditional Advent Journal
  • Finer Femininity Magazine!
  • Books by Leane
    • My New Book – Catholic Mother Goose!
    • Catholic Hearth Stories
    • My Book – Cheerful Chats for Catholic Children
  • Toning With T-Tapp
    • Move It! A Challenge for You and Me….

Finer Femininity

~ Joyful, Feminine, Catholic

Finer Femininity

Category Archives: Loving Wife

Helping us to Become Better Wives

It’s the Little Things…..

20 Wednesday Apr 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Attitude, Loving Wife

≈ 2 Comments

It’s the little things that can often make or break a marriage….those little courtesies, kindnesses and the respect we show to one another. The following is a few of those meaningful courtesies and a few thoughts that will add life to your relationship.

From 100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson, with permission.

Enjoy the man he is.

Don’t compare him to anyone else. There is little more destructive than hoping he’ll become like someone he isn’t – whether said aloud or thought silently in your heart. Instead, make the most of his own unique qualities.

Don’t be surprised when faced with a trial.

It’s not something to tip-toe around, but something to walk through. So walk through it together. At some point, either he or you – or both of you – will encounter a serious bump in the road. Maybe even a serious bump in your relationship. Trials come in life and marriage, so prepare yourself for the possibility.

Be quick to admit when you’re wrong.

Don’t waste a minute holding on to your pride. Okay, so I’ve been terrible at this one. I just hate to be wrong! But what a silly way to live – and to love. So if you’re wrong? Just say so and get it over with. It’s not as bad as it might first sound.

Never leave off with the romance.

And it doesn’t have to look like it does in the movies (I actually like our way even better). Maybe it’s simple, sweet things – like a walk in the park or sipping tea on the porch. Make for a regular date-night that means just the two of you, talking and enjoying each other.

Be sweet to him.

He’ll always be glad for a little of that. There’s such strength found in sweetness. And something not commonly found in our harsh world today. Be that refreshing, soul-stirring voice in his ear. (Song of Solomon 2: 14)

Care about your appearance.

Not out of vanity, but in making an effort to put forth your best. Freshen up a bit when before you see him. Slip on that lovely blouse he often compliments you on. Brush out your hair and pretty-up a bit.

Protect your marriage.

Set up safeguards together to keep things and people from harming what you’ve got. If you have something you treasure? You watch over it and are willing to defend it. This doesn’t mean you are necessarily insecure, paranoid, or controlling. This simply means that you care deeply about your marriage and recognize that we live in a wicked world and you have an Enemy who would seek to tear it apart.

Speak well of him to others.
Never put him down or make a slight. Emphasize his strong points and all the many things you appreciate about him. Never let anyone doubt you’re his biggest fan. He’ll be grateful to you for this.

“The Crucifix on the wall, the pictures of Our Lord and His Mother – the loveliest you can afford – the little shrine with lights and flowers – these unceasingly speak to your little ones of God’s love and His Beauty, preparing them for that friendship with God, that willing, personal submission to Him that is true freedom and happiness.” -Dominican Nun, Australia, 1954, Painting by Ferdinand Georg Waldmuller

Charming and Graceful Wire-Wrapped Rosary Bracelets! Take Your Rosary Wherever You Go…. Available Here.


 

Set of all 20 Children’s Saints Lives

For ages 10 and up. Great stories of the saints for youth that are easy to read; yet extremely edifying and instructing! We all need good examples how to live a good Catholic life — these books will not overwhelm or turn off those who need them most.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Intelligent Conversation – The Wife Desired/ New! March Daily Planner Printable!

28 Monday Feb 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Loving Wife, The Wife Desired - Father Kinsella

≈ 8 Comments

 It is an art to know when to listen and when to speak. And when we do speak, that it is worth listening to…. 6a013480267ca9970c0168e793afc3970c

The Wife Desired by Father Leo J. Kinsella, 1950’s

As most of us grow older and become less active physically, one of our greatest sources of entertainment is intelligent conversation. We derive satisfaction from the discussion of current events, of problems affecting our daily lives, and of sundry subjects of mutual interest.

Too little stress is given today in educational circles to the art of conversation. I believe that there are a number of reasons for this lack of interest on the part of educators. A group of high school girls at recess time usually presents the same picture. All are talking; none are listening. Promote talking? Teachers naturally lift an eyebrow if one suggests more conversation at their school. Yet ninety-nine per cent of all this talk is just chitchat….

Real conversation is an art. Like any other art it must be cultivated and practiced. The voice is an important phase of personality. Often the voice alone gives the cue to personality and character of a girl.A petulant, or frivolous, or frigid, or nagging young lady frequently rings a bell of warning in her voice to interested young men who have ears to hear as well as to catch dirt.

Likewise, a warmhearted and generous woman refined and cultured with a well developed personality can tell others of her accomplishments simply by speaking a few sentences. “The flute and the psaltery make a sweet melody, but a pleasant tongue is above them both.” Ecclesiaticus 40, 21.

Perhaps by this time some find their thoughts wandering from the work at hand–namely, self-appraisal and consideration of how to advance toward the goal of the ideal and desired wife. Maybe some are asking by now why they should strive to become this paragon of a girl.

Too many young men are too stupid anyway to see and appreciate in a girl all the qualities of the ideal wife. Isn’t a girl lucky for that! A girl can thank God that these imbeciles are not attracted to her. One of these cigarette sucking simpletons might rush her off her feet, and then see with what she would be stuck the rest of her life.

It does seem that neurotics attract each other for marriage. I suppose it is one more bit of evidence of the old proverb, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So the girls who develop their personalities and acquire the other features of the ideal wife have a much better chance of attracting their counterpart, the ideal husband. Again, let that all-interesting ideal husband take care of himself for a while. Let us get back to our “netting.”

Conversation is not a one way street. It connotes the ability to listen as well as to talk. Some people make a good audience. They stimulate conversation purely by the manner of their attention. They are alive, and thus they register. Because they are interested they are interesting. They bring out the best in others.

A clever girl can do wonders by the way she listens with animation to her boyfriend. The boyfriend or the husband is only human. There will be times when he is going to want to tell “all about it.” He is loquacious for a change. Then for heaven’s sake, let the wife give him the stage. Or, perhaps, he is taciturn and yearns for quiet. The wise wife senses these various moods of her husband.

I remember a case in which the wife hauled her husband down to the Chancery. Her major complaint was that her husband would not talk things over with her, would not confide in her. “He just never talks with me.” This poor woman talked “like a blue streak” for an hour and a half. A number of times I tried to break in. At each failure I got a knowing look from the husband as much as if to say, “Know how you feel. For years I’ve been trying to get a word in edgewise.”

There is a theory of counseling based on letting the estranged husband and wife talk themselves into their own solution of the problems vexing their marital happiness. There are enthusiasts of this school of thought who maintain that they can solve any case by just letting them talk.

I wish they had been in on the case just mentioned. I finally had to run from her one day later on, when she came down alone to see me. I could not take any more than two hours of it. I imagine that she is still talking, whether at her husband or not I do not know. How he could stand it, I do not know either.

While at school a girl should “make hay while the sun shines.” It is then that she can acquire and develop ability at conversation. As she learns to swim, to play tennis, to figure skate, and to sing, she can talk with interest and intelligence about these things.

If she knows nothing about music, a girl will have to be pretty clever to be able to “get away with” talking about music. On the other hand, as she develops her personality by learning to do various things, she should acquire facility in conversing about these things.

If she reads good literature, she opens another tremendous potential for conversation. True, she must practice, and school affords that opportunity not only in the classroom, but even during moments of recreation. Practice on your girl friends? Why not? They do on you!

Friends have been defined as those between whom there need not be conversation. Husband and wife can spend a quiet evening at home with a minimum of conversation and be happy and content.

They are aware of each other’s presence, and that is enough. Yet intelligent conversation will add immeasurably to their lives. A dumb Dora may have her moments; but, if she cannot formulate two consecutive and coherent sentences, let us all pray for strength for that husband of hers.

569d2055f91ab7dbedef0277ed868028

You and I have the wonderful opportunity to leave behind a legacy – one of care and concern, one that reaches out to others, one of loveliness and holiness. Be a woman who cares about the kind of legacy you leave when you are called home. Follow God’s will in your life. Pattern your life after Our Lady and simply pass it on to those you come in contact with each day.

13731475_549189248616423_125813942387273583_n

Excellent sermon! Father gives us tips on growing in virtue to make this a great Lent. How can we conquer vices & grow virtue?

March ~ Printable Traditional Catholic Daily Planner ~ Meal Menu/Homeschool Page ~ Daily Gratitude/Spiritual Checklist/Daily Goals!

Available here.



Wearing of the Green Apron! Feminine and Beautiful! Available here.


Here is a marriage blueprint that every woman can follow. Happy marriages do not just happen, they are made. It takes three parties to make a good marriage; the husband, the wife, and the Lord. This book is concerned with helping the woman to become the wife desired and therefore loved that every man worth having wishes to find and keep.<P> This book sold over a quarter of a million copies shortly after its publication in 1951, and it was read by Catholics and non-Catholics alike. It is a practical manual. It should be read by every woman considering entering the matrimonial state and also by those women who are already married.

We all have it . . . the desire, the longing for love. God meant for marriage to be beautiful, resilient . . . lovely, but this broken world can make it hard sometimes. 100 Ways to Love is a practical guide to find and live in the rich, fulfilling marriage God intended for husbands and wives. You can get beyond just living in the minimum of your relationship. Ladies, we have one shot at loving our man. We all have the capacity and capability to love him and to do it well. It’s time for our marriages to start thriving in love.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

A Companion to Her Husband – True Womanhood, 1877

08 Tuesday Feb 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Loving Wife, True Womanhood, A book of Instruction for Women of the World, Rev. Bernard O'Reilly, L.D., 1893

≈ 1 Comment

The more we read this kind of inspiration, the more it sinks in just how much power we have in the home….and how much we must pray to have a right spirit within those four walls.

20160730_163403

From True Womanhood, Rev. Bernard O’Reilly, 1893

ANGELS GUARD THE CATHOLIC HOME

It is for every father, who is by the divine law of nature, king in his own family, to consider well the truth here presented to him, and to conceive of his own little kingdom the pure and lofty notion, which is that of the divine mind as well as the mind of the Church.

When a father, though never so poor, firmly believes that his little home and his hearth-stone are a thing so precious and so holy that God will have “His angel keep, cherish, protect, visit, and defend it, and all who dwell therein,” he, too, will lift up his eyes and his heart to that Father over all and most loving Master, and exhort himself daily and hourly to walk before Him and be perfect.”

But it is to his companion,—the queen of that little kingdom, the wife,—that it is most necessary to have high and holy thoughts about the sacredness of her charge, the obligations incumbent on her, the incalculable good which she can do, and the many powerful helps toward its accomplishment that the All-Wise and Ever-Present is sure to multiply under her hand.

To every true man and woman now living there is no being on earth looked up to with so pure, so deep, so grateful, so lasting a love, as a mother.

Let us look at our mother, then, in that dear and holy relation of wife which she bears to him who was for us in childhood the representative of the God “of whom all paternity in heaven and earth is named.”

WOMAN’S DUTIES AS WIFE

The first duty of the wife is to study to be in every way she can the companion, the help, and the friend of her husband.

Indeed on her capacity to be all this, and her earnest fulfillment of this threefold function depends all the happiness of both .their lives, as well as the well-being of the whole family.

Hence the obligation which is incumbent on parents providing for the establishment of their children, — to see to it, so far as is possible, that the person chosen to be a wife in the new home should be a true companion for their son, a true helpmate in all his toil, and a faithful friend through all the changes of fortune.

SHE OUGHT TO BE A COMPANION TO HER HUSBAND

One half of the unhappiness of married life comes from the fact that the wife is either unfitted or unwilling to be a true companion to her husband. This companionship requires that she should be suited by her qualities of mind and heart and temper to enter into her husband’s thoughts and tastes and amusements, so as to make him find in her company and conversation a perfect contentment and delight.

Persons who are perfectly companionable never weary of each other,—indeed, they are never perfectly happy while away from each other;—they enter into each other’s thoughts, reflect (and increase by the reflection) the light in each other’s mind; cultivate the same tastes, pursue the same ideals, and complete each other in the interchange of original or acquired knowledge.

But there is more than that in the companionship of the true wife. She studies to make herself agreeable, delightful, and even indispensable to him who is her choice among all men.

If true love be in her heart, it will suggest to her, day by day, a thousand new devices for charming the leisure of her husband.

Woman has been endowed by the Creator with a marvelous fertility of resource in this respect: it is an unlimited power, productive of infinite good when used for a holy purpose and within her own kingdom; but productive of infinite evil when employed in opposition to the design of the Giver, or allowed to lie idle when it should be used to promote the sacred ends of domestic felicity.

There are wives who will study certain languages, sciences, arts, or accomplishments, in order to make themselves the companions of the men they love, and thus be able to converse with them on the things they love most, or to charm the hours of home repose by music and song.

The writer of these lines remembers, that, while a young priest in Quebec, upward of thirty years ago, he was much struck by seeing a young lady of one of the best families there, applying herself assiduously to study the sign-language of the deaf-mutes in order to converse easily with her husband—a wealthy young merchant, thoroughly trained himself in the admirable Deaf and Dumb Institution of his native city.

They were devoted to each other, and the young wife’s earnestness in making herself companionable to her husband, must have brought many a blessing on the home in which the writer beheld them so rapt in each other, so virtuous, and so full of bright hope!

It must not be concluded from this, that a woman who applies herself to acquire knowledge for the purpose of being more of a companion to her husband, should thoroughly master either a language, a science, or an art. . . .

In the case of the young wife just mentioned, a thorough familiarity with the language of signs was indispensable as a means of easy conversation with her husband.

But this is evidently an exceptional case;—and is only mentioned to show what difficulties love will overcome to be helpful or agreeable to its companion.

The word helpful, just used, will furnish to every wife the true measure of the knowledge she may be prompted to acquire.

Her husband has to know perfectly whatever he knows, because his success as a professional man or a business man depends on this thorough knowledge, whereas his wife only acquires to please and to help her companion.

But there are other things beside this scientific, literary, or artistic knowledge, which may be more needful to a wife, if she would make herself of all earthly beings the most delightful and necessary companion to her husband.

She must study him,—his needs, his moods, his weak as well as his strong points,—and know how to make him forget himself when he is moody and selfish, and bring out every joyous side of his nature when he is prone to sadness.

God, who has made the soul both of man and of woman, and who has united them in the duties and burdens of home-life, wills that they should complete each other.

Man has bodily strength, because it is his duty to labor for the home and protect it; he has also certain mental and moral qualities which woman does not need, and which fit him for the battle of life and his continual struggle with the crowd.

But she has, on her part, far more of fortitude, of that power to bear and to forbear, to suffer silently and uncomplainingly herself while ministering with aching heart and head to the comfort, the cheerfulness, the happiness of all around her.

At any rate, she has by nature the power, the art, and the disposition to please, to soothe, to charm, and to captivate.

It is a wonderful power; and we see daily women exerting it in an evil way and for purposes that God cannot bless, and that every right conscience must condemn.

Why will not women who are truly good, or who sincerely strive to be so, not make it the chief study of their lives to find out and acquire the sovereign art of making their influence as healthful, as cheering, as blissful as the sunlight and the warmth are to their homes?

Let us give an example of what is meant here—and this illustration will suggest, of itself, many other applications.

We all know—a mother more than anyone else—what a potent spell praise is in making children master whatever they are learning, and, what is far more difficult, acquire a mastery over themselves, both in repressing wrong inclinations and in gaining the habits of the noblest virtues.

A word of praise from a mother will stir the heart of every well-born child—and few children are ill-born, that is, with radically bad dispositions—to the most extraordinary exertions, and fill the whole soul with delight, when that word is sweetly spoken of successful efforts made.

We say nothing here of the stimulus which praise from the queen of the home gives to the zeal and conscientious labors of servants. We are concerned with the master of the home. Do you  not know that all men, even old men, even the proudest and coldest men, are only great children, who thirst for praise from a wife, a mother, or a sister’s lips?

There are men —and they are the noblest, the most high-souled—who care but little, if anything, for the praise or censure of the crowd, even of the learned or titled crowd; but their heart is stirred through all its depths by one sweet word from the lips of mother, sister, or wife.

Why, O women, are you so niggard of a money which you can bestow without making yourselves the poorer, and which your dear ones prize above gold and gems?

Give generously, but discerningly, what is held so dear as coming from you, and which will only encourage those you love above all the world to strive tomorrow for still higher excellence, and look forward to still sweeter praise.

ff-quote-for-the-day77

“We’re terribly in danger all the time of taking God’s goodness too much for granted; of bouncing up to Communion as if it were the most natural thing in the world, instead of being a supernatural thing belonging to another world.” – Msgr. Ronald Knox, 1948

15940954_629235623945118_7593072282333310231_n

Octmystery of the rosary

The Agony in the Garden

Suffering did not come upon Christ unawares. In a very real sense, it had been on God’s mind from all eternity. The Virgin Mary had conceived a Victim. John held him as the meek Lamb of God, destined for slaughter.

Jesus himself spoke often of His death; invited others to do what He was about to do – “take up the Cross”; then deliberately went up to Jerusalem to his earthly doom.

But when that long-awaited suffering was only a sunrise away, Jesus Christ fell upon His face and bled at the thought of pain and asked that, if it were possible, the chalice be withheld.

To tremble at pain is Christlike. Suffering is not a good thing that merely appears evil. It is an evil, which human nature shrinks from – and Grace can sanctify.

Christ_in_Gethsemane

NEW ITEMS at Meadows of Grace!

Handcrafted Graceful Religious Cabochon Pendants!

This graceful necklace can be worn every day as a reminder of your devotion to the Blessed Mother. Get it blessed and you can use it also as a sacramental. Available here.

Screenshot 2022-02-07 at 20-06-55 Blessed Mother Graceful Religious Pendant and Earring Etsy
Screenshot 2022-02-07 at 20-07-07 Blessed Mother Graceful Religious Pendant and Earring Etsy
Screenshot 2022-02-07 at 20-07-15 Blessed Mother Graceful Religious Pendant and Earring Etsy
Screenshot 2022-02-07 at 20-07-24 Blessed Mother Graceful Religious Pendant and Earring Etsy

February ~ Printable Traditional Catholic Daily Planner ~ Meal Menu/Homeschool Page ~ Daily Gratitude/Spiritual Checklist/Daily Goals!

This can be used each year for the month of February.

Available here.

A very valuable book for the guys plucked out of the past and reprinted. It was written in 1894 by Fr. Bernard O’Reilly and the words on the pages will stir the hearts of the men to rise to virtue and chivalry…. Beautifully and eloquently written!

A very beautiful book, worthy of our attention. In it, you will find many pearls of wisdom for a woman striving to be the heart of the home, an inspiration to all who cross her path. You will be inspired to reconsider the importance of your role of wife and mother! Written by Rev. Bernard O’Reilly in 1894, the treasures found within its pages ring true and remain timeless…

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

8 Ways to Nurture Your Relationship

14 Tuesday Dec 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Attitude, Loving Wife

≈ 1 Comment

Don’t ever underestimate the influence you have in your little world, starting with your husband!

From 100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson

  1. Share interests together.

As many as possible. See how you can join him in his hobbies and invite him to share in yours. Even if you don’t both enjoy the same things, at the very least you can be interested and enthusiastic about what interests him. And then look for activities that you can both learn to enjoy together as well. Start something new if you have to.

2. Laugh at his jokes.

Yes, even if you’ve heard them before. Laugh because it’s funny and laugh because it’s healing.

3. Remember the one you fell in love with.

Don’t let him get lost in the dailiness of life. And if it seems that you’ve become distracted and weighed down, take some time off to renew your love for each other. Take a holiday. Slow down. Or simply remind yourself that he is the one you love.

4. Fix his favorite foods.

You know what they say about the way to a man’s heart….

5. Listen sympathetically to his day.

Sometimes being a friend means simply caring about the little things – and the big things – that go in his world. Put aside time and make it a priority to hear about what goes on with him. It’s one of those little connecting points that add up over time.

6. Put your love for God first.

The most loving thing you can do for your husband is to invest in your relationship with your God above all.

7. Reach out and touch.

A tender touch can do so much good – for you both. Even when things aren’t going too well, sometimes this one simple, but loving gesture can soften spirits and ease the tension.

8. Remember you are a powerful influence in his life.

Women of influence. That’s what was featured on the cover of the magazine. The fifty faces of women who’ve been recognized as having significant influence. A truly impressive collection.

So I don’t know why it had this effect on me, but I looked at those 50 women and immediately felt small. Inconsequential. Unknown. A nobody. Because, of course, my picture will never be on the front of that magazine. Not that I’ve ever aspired to such a place. But still… I was somehow struck by my insignificance.

I know it’s not right – or even reasonable – for me to think this way. Yet it managed to stir up so many of my insecurities and self-doubts that I began questioning whether I’d do anything meaningful with my life. Ever.

After all, who am I? No one really.

The dark, defeating doubts swirled around as I brewed a fresh pot of coffee for my husband and continued with me as I trudged up the stairs to his home office. I poured him a cup and then began pouring out my pitiful-me thoughts before him. Poor meaningless me.

I jabbered on and on about how I never amounted to much and probably never would….When suddenly and unexpectedly my pity-party came to a complete stop. I realized that my husband wasn’t paying the least attention to me. He wasn’t really listening at all, but smiling at something in front of him.

What? What was distracting him? Then I saw it. Right smack in the middle of his desk sat a nicely framed photograph of his beloved wife. Yes, that would be me. Nobody else. Not one single photo of the Fifty Women of Influence was placed before him. Just little, simple, wifey me.

And then came the moment of revelation: I am a woman of influence. Tremendous influence. You see, it’s my face that’s featured on the cover of his life. Because amazingly enough, the Lord has chosen this woman to be that man’s wife. Which means it’s me – and only me – who completes him.

Who recognizes his strengths.

Who balances out his weaknesses.

Who builds him up.

Who understands him like no one else.

Who encourages him when he’s down or discouraged.

Who sleeps by his side at night.

Who stands behind him.

Who brings out the best in him.

Who loves him for who he is.

It had never occurred to me before, but I’m becoming a woman of great influence.

But you know what else? So are you. You also are a woman of consequence and have a powerful role to play in your husband’s life.

You are the most influential woman in his world. And to my way of thinking, that is one of the highest honors and privilege a woman can hold.

So it looks like I am significant – even if it’s only in the eyes of one man.

Yet it’s the one man who matters most in my life.

My photograph is placed prominently where all the world can see it. Or better yet – where he can see it.

A powerful woman of influence.

“Cultivate kindness of heart; think well of your fellow-men; look with charity upon the shortcomings in their lives; do a good turn for them, as opportunity offers; and, finally, don’t forget the kind word at the right time. How much such a word of kindness, encouragement, of appreciation means to others sometimes, and how little it costs us to give it!” -J.R. MIller

Sign up for the Christmas Giveaway by following this link!

Do you want an idea for a simple Christmas activity? Join Angelo for a night of fun building a simple Christmas nativity scene with his nieces and nephews…

Lovely review on Gin’s aprons:
“I highly, highly recommend these aprons. Purchase one for yourself as a treat. I have two of these aprons, one for Fall and one for Advent/Christmas. They are soft, lined on the backside in a coordinated fabric, and they are sewn together with much love and attention to all the details. The ties are long enough to wrap around your back and tie in front if you like that style. The Autumn one I’ve used for a couple of months now washes up well for me on delicate cycle with Woolite.”

Her aprons are available here.

Beginning with the first day of Advent and continuing through the Feast of the Baptism of Our Lord, these selections from the immortal pen of Fulton J. Sheen encourage readers to explore the essence and promise of the season. Those looking to grow in their prayer life and become more attuned to the joy of Advent and Christmas will find a wonderful guide in this spiritual companion….

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

The Little Things – Alice Von Hildebrand & A Christmas Giveaway!

10 Friday Dec 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Advent/Christmas, Alice Von Hildebrand, Give-Aways, Loving Wife, Marriage

≈ 60 Comments

– by Dr. Alice Von Hildebrand

By Love Refined: Letters to a Young Bride

Dear Julie,

I’m grateful for your frankness. It makes my duties as your godmother easier to fulfill.

You say that although the analogy of the stained-glass windows is very moving, nonetheless true lovers are concerned with “great things, beautiful things” and should not let themselves be troubled by small things.

Roy wouldn’t agree.

He and my friend Evelyn have been married thirty-five years. She’s sloppy and he’s meticulous. During their honeymoon, Roy noticed that she always left the toothpaste tube open. He asked Evelyn to put the cap on, but she laughed at him, claiming he had the habits of an old maid.

Time and again, Roy has asked her to change. Nothing doing! After thirty-five years, the cap still remains off and Roy has resigned himself to it.

Compare this to my own husband’s attitude. Early in our marriage, I noticed he would always leave the soap swimming in a small pool of water. It would slowly disintegrate into an unattractive, slimy goo – something I found unappealing. I drew it to his attention.

From that day on, he made a point of drying the soap after each use – to such an extent that I couldn’t tell from the “soap testimony” whether he had washed himself or not. (Moreover – and this is typical of him – he too developed a strong dislike for sticky soap.)

I was so moved by this, that to this day I feel a wave of loving gratitude for this small but significant gesture of love.

My husband was a great lover. And because he was one, he managed to relate the smallest things to love and was willing to change to please his beloved in all legitimate things. This characteristic is typical of great love.

I’m sure that as your love grows deeper, you, too, will come to see how the greater the love, the more it permeates even the smallest aspects of life.

With love,

LilyA-great-love-between

“Every effort we make to forget self, to leave self behind us, and to devote ourselves to the labor of making every person with whom we are bound to live, happy, is rewarded by interior satisfaction and joy. The supreme effort of goodness is,—not alone to do good to others; that is its first and lower effect,—but to make others good.” Rev. Bernard O’Reilly The Mirror of True Womanhood, 1893 (afflink)

And now….

A Giveaway!

Today, I’d like to offer you a Christmas Giveaway!!

The winner will receive this lovely package of the Theresa’s 3 Christmas Soaps (Christmas Forest, Candy Cane, Frankincense and Myrrh) and a lovely handcrafted Christmas Necklace Set…

Just leave a comment here, and your name will be added! It is always great to hear from you. 🙂

I will announce the winner next Friday, December 17th!

Our attitude changes our life…it’s that simple. Our good attitude greatly affects those that we love, making our homes a more cheerier and peaceful dwelling! To have this control…to be able to turn around our attitude is a tremendous thing to think about!
This Gratitude Journal is here to help you focus on the good, the beautiful, the praiseworthy. “For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 – Douay Rheims).
Yes, we need to be thinking of these things throughout the day!
You will be disciplined, the next 30 days, to write positive, thankful thoughts down in this journal. You will be thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people you are grateful for, lovely and thought-provoking Catholic quotes, thoughts before bedtime, etc. Saying it, reading it, writing it, all helps to ingrain thankfulness into our hearts…and Our Lord so loves gratefulness! It makes us happier, too!

Available here.



 

There’s nothing complicated or magical about learning to be kinder; it just takes greater attention to the things that you do and how you do them. The Hidden Power of Kindness shows you how to become more aware of even your most offhand daily actions. You’ll find simple, step-by-step, and spiritually crucial directions for how to overcome the habitual unkindnesses that creep undetected into the behavior of even the most careful souls.

From the thousands of personal letters by St. Francis de Sales comes this short, practical guide that will develop in you the soul-nourishing habits that lead to sanctity.
This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

The Wife Desired is Patient – Fr. Leo Kinsella

19 Friday Nov 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Loving Wife, The Wife Desired - Father Kinsella

≈ 1 Comment

Painting by Alfredo Rodriguez

From The Wife Desired, Fr. Leo Kinsella

Webster’s Dictionary has this to say about patience. Patience is “uncomplaining endurance of wrongs or misfortunes.” Patience “denotes self-possession, especially under suffering or provocation.” It also suggests “quiet waiting for what is expected” or persistence in what has been begun. Forbearance, leniency, and sufferance are given as synonyms.

Patience is a quality of maturity. Little children are not noted for “uncomplaining endurance of wrongs.” Mother would begin looking for the thermometer should she notice anything resembling “quiet waiting for what is expected.” It takes a bit of living and dodging of the “slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,” before people get enough sense to value patience.

Patience connotes a “self-possession, especially under suffering or provocation,” and it brings to one a quiet confidence. The patient wife is master of her own soul. She, and not every imp to come flying into her mind, is in charge of her own fort.

Since no one can be truly successful without patience, it should be expected that the possession of the virtue is a requisite for every desired wife.

Indeed, no vocation or profession in life requires patience more than that of husband and wife.

The first reason for this that they live in such proximity to each other. They rub elbows day in and day out. There is bound to be a little chafing here and there. Among saints there would be. Patience is the soothing oil preventing the irritations from becoming running sores.

Some years ago I was faced with the necessity of working up a talk on the ideal wife. Naturally, I was open for suggestions, particularly from a few ideal wives whose friendship I highly prize.

One evening, as I visited the home of one of these friends, I mentioned the task with which I was confronted.

“Mary, if you had to give an hour talk on the ideal wife to high school seniors or to a woman’s club, what would you discuss?”

Here was the voice of experience talking. I was not asking any air scout how to fly that Constellation. The senior pilot of the airlines was briefing me now. I was not asking any camp fire girl how to whip up that batter of soda biscuit mix. Grandma herself was looking over her glasses at me.

I think that it is of interest to point out here that, although she did not indicate that she considered patience the most important quality of the desired wife, she unhesitatingly suggested it first.

Not only did she mention patience first, but she also explained what she meant by patience in the wife.

Notice that the discussion deals with the patience required of the wife, not of the mother in her relations with her children.

A woman is first the wife of her husband before she is the mother of his children. Later I hope to say a few words concerning the twofold role which the woman must play.

At present I just want to make it clear that Mary is no rattle brain. She was on the ball and stayed there. She was explaining what she meant by the patience in the wife and her dealings with her husband.

Marriage is not a fifty-fifty proposition. (This of course, is Mary talking through my memory.) The wife who enters marriage with the misconception that it is, has failure lurking just around the corner. Often she will think that she is giving her fifty per cent. As a matter of fact, it is only fifteen or twenty per cent. On many other occasions the husband unconsciously is demanding ninety per cent. The fifty per cent proffered falls miserably short. The result is two people at loggerheads. A fight begins and love takes a beating, if it is not turned out-of-doors.

The understanding, the sympathy, and the patience required for happy living cannot be measured out. The stupid expression “marriage is a fifty-fifty deal” implies yardsticks, tape measures, half cups, full tablespoons, and the like.

Love has nothing to do with these things–will not be fenced in by them, for love partakes of the very limitlessness of God.

A wife’s parsimonious measuring out of her imagined fifty per cent produces many serious fights.

She wins these fights too and loses her husband.

Let us illustrate the above by concrete examples.

The wife was getting supper ready. John was fighting the traffic on his way home from work. She was humming softly as she busied herself contentedly about the kitchen. He was muttering loudly the red light blues. She felt fine. He was half sick and out of sorts. Things had not been going well at work. He was upset and unwittingly looking for a fight.

As he entered the house and gave Mary a little hug and kiss, she noticed that he looked tense and jumpy. A few minutes later she could hear him scolding one of the children. The storm warnings should have been flying by now. They had better steer clear of him tonight.

Before the family was called to the supper table, Mary had been fully on guard. Unless she was very mistaken her husband was going to demand much more than fifty per cent somewhere along the evening. So the measuring devices, the half cups and full tablespoons were behind her for this evening.

The meal was already prepared. She would not use them on her husband. She would not measure out her patience and understanding. Her husband was definitely off color this evening. She would give him her all. No matter what he said, she would pass it off.

The supper got off to as good a start as could have been expected with the cloud hanging over the table. Soon one of the children massacred table etiquette in such manner as to cause Emily Post to wince.

Before her husband could draw in sufficient breath to let out a blast at the culprit, she quickly took the wind out of his sail by firmly correcting the child. Before the dessert appeared, she took in her stride a caustic remark about the quality of the pot roast and a criticism leveled at her through one of her children.

Mary was nobody’s dish rag. She had a lot of fire and spirit. She could have stood up to him that night, “let him have it,” and have had a fight which she might have won, or, at least in which she would have held her own. But, did anyone ever win a fight of this kind?

This ideal wife had made up her mind to carry her husband through the evening, come what might. He was not himself.

Tomorrow would be another day. If he had been physically sick in bed and needed her care, would she have given only fifty per cent? Of course not. She would have nursed and lavished upon him all the warmth of her nature.

Well, he was sick that night–sick in mind and spirit. He needed her intelligent, loving and patient consideration. She would have considered herself a very shallow person to have reacted otherwise. She was in love with her husband that night too, unreasonable though he was.

A few weeks later the tables were turned. She was the one who was at wits end with herself. She started the day with a headache and things went from bad to worse. It was a rainy day, and for some unfathomable reason the school shut its doors on the children.

They were under her feet all day. Often she had to act as referee in their squabbles. As the afternoon wore on toward supper time, she was becoming conditioned for more adult opposition.

An unsuspecting husband made his entry. He was back to his little castle in the suburb with roses round the door (metaphorically speaking) and babies on the floor (literally speaking).

During the meal Mary “blew her top” about something. Oh yes, the car did not start that afternoon. The battery or something must have been dead. Some junk! It was time they had a new car.

So it was a junk, was it? John could think of the days of work it had taken to buy that old bus a few years previous. It was still a good car. What did women know about cars anyway? There ought to have been a law against women ever—-.

There is no future in this kind of thought, so John quickly banished the hideous little devil from his mind. Mary was worked up tonight. He would have to be cautious. Did he defend his car against his wife? John was a little too sharp for that.

He jumped on the band wagon and lambasted the car too. Yes. We would have to do something about that nuisance. He felt like going out then and burning it up. He knew that by the time they got to the dishes, she would have forgotten all about the car.

Mary purred through the rest of the meal contentedly with that wonderful feeling that her husband was all for her. Together they stood against the whole world.

Suppose that John had been a little thick between the ears and that he took exceptions to her remarks about the car and defended the car against his wife. A fight would have ensued. Feelings would have been hurt. And there was danger that their tempers would have swept them on to the name calling stage. Once this has been reached, real harm frequently has been done to a marriage.

Mary finished her explanation of what she meant by patience by saying that she and her husband had never had a fight in the twelve years of married life. Then she added what I thought was the epitome of her whole conversation by saying that she and her husband did not intend to have any fights.

This determination not to fight was indicative of their intelligence and maturity. Surely it was one of the factors contributing to the happy stability of their marriage.

This couple has had arguments and disagreements I believe that I have been in on a few warm ones. An argument is not a fight.

People with minds of their own will not always see eye to eye on every phase of their daily lives. Viewpoints will vary and disagreements will result even as to whether or not junior should have a crew haircut. But let us not make junior a ward of the divorce court because husband and wife cannot agree on the proper length of junior’s hair. After all, it is not that important.

Arguments and disagreements degenerate into fights, when ill-feeling, name-calling and bitterness come into the picture. The ideal wife, fortified with the virtue of patience, sets her face against such loss of harmony. Whatever be the cost she wisely realizes that her effort at peace is worth the price.

No good comes from fights in married life. I have been asked whether it is not a good idea for husband and wife to have a fight once in a while. The air is thus cleared. The very young, theorizing about this, often add that it is so sweet when they make up. In connection with this question one inquirer quoted Bishop Fulton Sheen as saying that a couple never really knows how much they love each other until they have made up after their first fight.

Nothing was said about how many found out how little they loved each other and never made up.

It is very true that sometimes good comes out of evil. Yet, how insane it is to seek or even permit avoidable evil, on the chance some good might come of it.

Fights among married people are evil things and bring untold misery into lives. So many broken marriages have come before me in which there was no third party, no drinking, no in-law trouble, no major difficulty. They just fought. So often people are less mature than their children, whom they have brought into the world to endure their bad tempers.

Fights begin between human beings because of pride. We have a will of our own. When we do not get our way pride suffers. Like children we want to fight the opposition to our will. So far we have no control of our reactions. We are made this way.

If we are adults, however, we have learned by bitter experience that our pride is the surest destroyer of happiness and love. Unless we are psycho-masochists, we crush our insurgent pride and prevent ourselves the stupid and dubious pleasure of hurting the one who has stung our pride.

Once a fight has begun between man and wife it is clear that one or the other must win the struggle against pride. One or the other must curb the desire to win the empty victory.

If the wife makes the first effort at reconciliation, her humility will make it difficult for the husband to nurse his pride. Pride cannot face up to humility. It is shamed out of existence.

Even when husband and wife make up completely after a fight, a fight is still unfortunate. Fights leave scars. The wound heals, but there ever remains a scar in the mind.

I have had many estranged married people tell me that their partners did this or that to them twenty-five or thirty years ago. Happy years had intervened between the fight and the present estrangement. But they could not forget, even if they had forgiven.

The wife desired meditates deeply on the hatefulness of fighting.

She has made up her mind to suffer anything rather than fight and thus wound her husband. Remember that there is always the danger that we begin to hate whom we hurt for the same reason that we begin to love whom we help.

finer-fem-quote-for-the-day3

“Lord, Help me to be a good wife.  I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without Your help.  Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things.  Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled.  Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation.  Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy.  I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment.  Only You can transform me.”

Do you want an idea for a simple Christmas activity? Join Angelo for a night of fun building a simple Christmas nativity scene with his nieces and nephews…

Graceful Vintaj Wire-Wrapped Rosary Bracelets! Take  Your Rosary Wherever You Go!

Available here.

 

Author Mary Reed Newland here draws on her own experiences as the mother of seven to show how the classic Christian principles of sanctity can be translated into terms easily applied to children even to the very young.

Because it’s rooted in experience, not in theory, nothing that Mrs. Newland suggests is impossible or extraordinary. In fact, as you reflect on your experiences with your own children, you’ll quickly agree that hers is an excellent commonsense approach to raising good Catholic children.

Fr. Lawrence Lovasik, the renowned author of The Hidden Power of Kindness, gives faithful Catholics all the essential ingredients of a stable and loving Catholic marriage and family — ingredients that are in danger of being lost in our turbulent age.

Using Scripture and Church teachings in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format, Fr. Lovasik helps you understand the proper role of the Catholic father and mother and the blessings of family. He shows you how you can secure happiness in marriage, develop the virtues necessary for a successful marriage, raise children in a truly Catholic way, and much more.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

9 Ways to Love Your Husband

06 Monday Sep 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Loving Wife

≈ 2 Comments

Never stop doing the things that will sustain and revive your marriage!

e51d51e1e4c5c91eb6a2def0ebf8edf4

100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson 

1.Make his dreams… your dreams. Treasure them like your own. Ask him about what he hopes to do some day and let him know that you believe in his dreams… and him. Plan out together the steps you can take to make those dreams come true.

2. Be extravagant in your love. Go big. Pour out your heart generously.

3. Feeling edgy? Snappish? Droopy? It tends to come with the territory – just avoid taking it out on him. It’s not really his fault, after all. Speak his love language – what says love to him. And speak it often!

4. Ask him the kinds of things that make him feel loved by you. He might have an answer ready and he might not. If not, then ask if he’ll think about it.

Also, you can study him and watch for those things that seem to fill him up and make sure you’re saying it to him. Don’t make accusations. Ask questions.

5. Intertwine your lives wherever possible. Run errands, go for walks, curl up on the couch. Just seek to be together. Don’t wait for “date night” to find things you share in common.

A good friend recently confessed something to me. She struggled with jealousy….of me.

Really… jealous of me? How could that be? We’ve been friends for many years and she knows I’ve had my share of grief and trials. Nothing overly amazing in my life.

What was there to be jealous of? Then she came out with it: she was envious of the kind of husband I had. She wished hers was more like mine. ????

I could only stare at her. I sure didn’t get it. So she clarified. She couldn’t help but notice how much time my husband and I spent with one another.

The two of us are often found together – working in the yard, out on a walk, over at the cafe, or maybe standing in line at Costco. But always together.

It wasn’t like that with her husband. The two of them lived functional, but basically separate lives.

And she wished they had what we had. If only they were as closely connected as we were. If only her husband was like mine.

Now it was my turn to confide. All that time we spend together? It’s not only him. It’s me. Yes, it’s true. I’m nearly shameless when it comes to orchestrating time together. Any excuse will do. I’ll do whatever I can – to get close to him.

It can be up to me to make the move.

If I smell coffee brewing in the morning? (That man wakes up waaaay to early, if you ask me). I’ll drag myself out of my comfy covers to have a cup with him before he dives into his work.

If he’s off to run errands, I’ll run out to the truck and ask if I can come along. He gives me a grin and tells me to hop on in. Who cares if he’s only going to the farm supply store? It’s a Chicken-Feed Date and I’ll take it.

If he’s working in the garden, I’ll join him out in the green bean patch. We both weed. I talk the entire time. And he listens (I think).

And if it’s the end of the night and he announces that he’s heading to bed? Well, I’ll give him a wink and tell him to wait up, ’cause I’m coming too.

6. Forgive. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” ~ Ruth Bell Graham. This is one of the truest statements ever made. Decide you’re not only going to be his lover – you’re going to be his forgiver. Be quick to forgive and get good at it. You’ll probably have lots of opportunity to practice it.

7. Then forget. Once it’s been forgiven, put it behind you and never pick it back up again. Here’s the hard part: letting it go. Resist the temptation to grab it back and maybe even throw it at him when it happens again. I’m sorry, but this doesn’t count as true forgiveness. Forgive as God has forgiven you—as far as the east is from the west (Ps. 103: 12).

8. Cling to each other in the hard times. Don’t let trials pull you apart, but be sure they bring you closer together instead. This decision is best made before the trial comes.

When our daughter was born with severe brain damage, the hospital warned us that most marriages don’t make it through a tragic situation like ours. That thought terrified me. So we looked at each other and decided – right then and there – we were going to stick through it together.

9. Start each day with a smile and a kiss. What better way to begin? Set the tone for the day with a simple gesture of love for each other.

 

breakfast

a-great-love-between

finer fem quote for the day fall2

“The woman who can pass over his human frailties and discover things to genuinely admire, things which others fail to notice or appreciate, is a woman to be treasured. It is such a woman who wins his deepest and most tender affection. As she gives him admiration, he returns love.” – Helen Andelin

14212642_569212063280808_3138908276589749853_n

Welcome to your Catholic Printable Month Planner! This printable is for the Months of September & October 2021.
Following the timeless Traditional Liturgical Calendar, each day you will be reminded of the feast day…also, a reminder of whether it is a day of abstinence is shown by a fish under the date.
Daily, you will have your hourly planner schedule that you can fill in. There is a space for Daily Goals and an “I am Grateful For” space. Also included is a Spiritual Goals Checklist to remind you of the important foundation of your day!
A Monthly Meal Menu Page is included along with a Monthly Home School Page that you can print out according to how many children you are teaching.
A beautiful quote is on each day of the planner giving you something to think about…Quotes by solid Catholics with their timeless commonsense and knowledge.
Get yourself a pretty binder and you will have a lovely tool to assist you. Your life will run more smoothly as you plan in advance your daily duties…

Available here.



Save

Save

S

Author Mary Reed Newland here draws on her own experiences as the mother of seven to show how the classic Christian principles of sanctity can be translated into terms easily applied to children even to the very young.

Because it’s rooted in experience, not in theory, nothing that Mrs. Newland suggests is impossible or extraordinary. In fact, as you reflect on your experiences with your own children, you’ll quickly agree that hers is an excellent commonsense approach to raising good Catholic children.

Fr. Lawrence Lovasik, the renowned author of The Hidden Power of Kindness, gives faithful Catholics all the essential ingredients of a stable and loving Catholic marriage and family — ingredients that are in danger of being lost in our turbulent age.

Using Scripture and Church teachings in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format, Fr. Lovasik helps you understand the proper role of the Catholic father and mother and the blessings of family. He shows you how you can secure happiness in marriage, develop the virtues necessary for a successful marriage, raise children in a truly Catholic way, and much more.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

“Baseball Bores me and Michael Doesn’t Like Art.”

09 Monday Aug 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Alice Von Hildebrand, Loving Wife

≈ 2 Comments

Alice Von Hildebrand, By Love Refined

Dear Julie,

That you found the idea of a spiritual treasure chest helpful makes me very happy, but I rejoice even more over your renewed readiness to sacrifice to perfect your love for Michael – even as you’re discovering how many sacrifices are called for in marriage.

Sometimes the possibilities for disagreement seem endless. Close as you are to each other, a cause of enjoyment for one of you may be boring or even unpleasant for the other. This is part of the deep drama of marriage: the constant call to “die to yourself” for the sake of your loved one.

You and I love Italian cuisine and, given a choice, we always prefer spaghetti all’italiana to hamburgers and french fries. Yet now you often cook American-style food just because Michael loves it. I know you take long walks with Michael when you’d prefer to stay home. I’m sure that to please you, he, too, often gives up a wish, such as going out with his male friends.

I’ve often found that when I adopt a loving attitude, I can discover in previously boring things the fascination that others find in them. You and Michael might try to learn from each other in this way so that you can come to share more interests.

When you fail, however, the only solution is sacrifice, which doesn’t at first seem appealing. Yet it’s strange how even seemingly trivial sacrifices can give unexpected joy and nurture love between two people. “God loves a cheerful giver,” says St. Paul, so when you do make a sacrifice like going to a baseball game with Michael (Is it such a sacrifice to be with the person you love most?), do it cheerfully so that no one will notice. Advertising sacrifices is a poor way to make them.

The sacrifices I’ve mentioned so far cause neither of you real harm. It doesn’t hurt you to watch baseball, just as it doesn’t hurt Michael to go to an art museum with you.

There are, however, situations in which one person enjoys something that actually causes harm to another. A case in point is smoking. Suppose Michael smoked, and you (like me) were allergic to smoke: his behavior would hurt you. In such a case, he should give up his pleasure to avoid hurting you, because that must take absolute precedence over any purely subjective enjoyment he might receive from smoking (which is, of course, hurting him, too -but I won’t speak of that now).

Sometimes sacrifices come from spouses being together; sometimes they come from spouses having to be apart. I know very happy marriages in which husbands go fishing while their wives stay home or visit friends.

I also know marriages in which the husband, because of his ardent love for his wife, doesn’t enjoy anything, if she isn’t present and would gladly renounce his favorite activities to be with her. You and Michael will have to use trial-and-error to find out how sacrifices can best serve love in your marriage.

You’ve already taken the most difficult step by realizing that every love calls for sacrifice. And I imagine you’ve discovered what a joy it is to sacrifice for the one you love!

I keep you in my prayers constantly,

Lily

A-great-love-between

 
“A desire to be beautiful is not unwomanly. A woman who is not beautiful cannot properly fill her place. But, mark you, true beauty is not of the face, but of the soul. There is a beauty so deep and lasting that it will shine out of the homeliest face and make it comely. This is the beauty to be first sought and admired. It is a quality of the mind and heart and is manifested in word and deed.” – Beautiful Girlhood, Mabel Hale http://amzn.to/2pOKmtj (afflink) Illustration by http://www.genevievegodboutillustration.com/
Coloring Pages for your children!
 

Blessed Mother Graceful Vintaj Religious Pendant and Earring Sets, Wire-Wrapped, Handcrafted

These graceful Vintaj necklaces can be worn every day as a reminder of your devotion to the Blessed Mother! Get it blessed and you can use it also as a sacramental.

Available here.

Save

Save

Save

A very valuable book for the guys plucked out of the past and reprinted. It was written in 1894 by Fr. Bernard O’Reilly and the words on the pages will stir the hearts of the men to rise to virtue and chivalry…. Beautifully and eloquently written!

A very beautiful book, worthy of our attention. In it, you will find many pearls of wisdom for a woman striving to be the heart of the home, an inspiration to all who cross her path. You will be inspired to reconsider the importance of your role of wife and mother! Written by Rev. Bernard O’Reilly in 1894, the treasures found within its pages ring true and remain timeless…

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Always Choose Love

28 Wednesday Jul 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Loving Wife

≈ 2 Comments

Don’t ever be too busy that you lose focus on your relationship with hubby. Nurture it, keep it lovely and fresh. It is worth it and pays great dividends!

From 100 Ways to Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson (used with permission)

Celebrate Your Anniversary

Do something special together and recognize the grand occasion that it is. It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive, just thoughtful and memorable. Do the same thing each year. Or maybe your tradition can be to do something different each year.

Don’t hang out with friends who put him – or their own husbands – down.

So destructive. Let your friends know that you love them, but that you are incredibly loyal when it comes to your man. You won’t stand for put-downs or critical remarks. If they love you? They’ll want to support you and your marriage.

Tell him how attracted you are to him.

Let him know about the magnetic pull you feel for him.

Back him up in his decision-making.

He’ll value your support. As much as possible, go with his lead. This will give him confidence and, most likely, make it that much easier – if or when – you do disagree with him. He’ll be more likely to listen to and respect you because he knows you wouldn’t go against it without good reason.

The Lord can heal your hurts.

Your husband cannot. So don’t resent him for something he can’t do. Psalm 147: 3

Write little love notes.

Tuck them in his lunch. Or write on the bathroom mirror. Send a text or a quick email. Passing secret love notes never goes out of style.

Embrace your differences. If you were both the same? How boring would that be. So rather than trying to form him into a male version of yourself, be glad you each have your own unique strengths and personality.

Express enthusiasm for his plans and ideas.

Worry about the practical application and serious possibilities later. Let your first response be positive and encouraging! That’s what gives him courage to try new things and consider new adventures.

Keep tenderness in your love.

Don’t let hardness or sharpness creep in to make it brittle. Protect your love from outside pressures and stresses that can spill over into your relationship with him.

Always choose love – again and again.

Through your openness to life, you will teach your children the most vital attitude of the beauty and sacredness of a human being, born in the image and likeness of God. Your own reverence for life will rub off on them and they will carry this through their adulthood. You, mothers, have the ability and the opportunity to form them…. -Finer Femininity

Excellent sermon to listen to today while you are coloring with your kids or folding your laundry!

Your little girl will love these feminine and pretty, fully lined aprons. What a lovely way to inspire the young lady in her homemaking skills! Available here.

Sa

Losing your peace of soul over the state of the world and the Church? Don’t! Consider the following books…..

We live in an age characterized by agitation and lack of peace. This tendency manifests itself in our spiritual as well as our secular life. In our search for God and holiness, in our service to our neighbor, a kind of restlessness and anxiety take the place of the confidence and peace which ought to be ours. What must we do to overcome the moments of fear and distress which assail us? How can we learn to place all our confidence in God and abandon ourselves into his loving care? This is what is taught in this simple, yet profound little treatise on peace of heart. Taking concrete examples from our everyday life, the author invites us to respond in a Gospel fashion to the upsetting situations we must all confront. Since peace of heart is a pure gift of God, it is something we should seek, pursue and ask him for without cease. This book is here to help us in that pursuit.

Reverend Irala here addresses ways to promote mental and emotional well-being to help increase one’s health, efficiency and happiness. He speaks on topics such as how to rest, think, use the will, control feelings, train the sexual instinct, be happy, and choose an ideal. Included are also many practical instructions on dealing with mental struggles of all kinds. This book is most useful in our present times of worldly confusion.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Breathing Life into Your Home

06 Tuesday Jul 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Loving Wife, Marriage

≈ 7 Comments

by Lisa Jacobson, Marriage Wisdom for Her

A wise woman breathes life into her home by choosing cheerful words over complaining ones.

It all started with a sigh. A sigh so natural to me that I never noticed it escaping my lips. A long heavy sigh. I was washing vegetables for the dinner salad. Celery, peppers, and carrots. The typical evening prep. Feeling behind and burdened by my day.

That’s when my husband walked into the room and asked, “Hey babe, how was today?” And then, “Why the big sigh?” He asked and so I answered.

And it went something like this: “The bickering kids, the avalanche of housework, the unanswered emails, the half-broken appliances, the errands that took longer than they should have, and the three medical bills that arrived in the mail. . . .” A long list of complaints, but nothing special. All the usual.

But right before my eyes, I watched those strong, solid shoulders of the man I love drop a little. Hunch over a bit. Heavy with all I’d just dumped on him. But he’d asked and I’d answered him honestly. And I believe it’s important to be honest, don’t you?

Except for one thing. My “honesty” was taking him down. I was literally sucking the life out of our home with my complaining. I’d developed the very bad habit of grumbling, and I’d masked it all under the disguise of “being honest” instead of calling what it really was.

What I really was.

A complaining wife.

And that’s when I knew something had to change. I had to stop this negative stream of communication that greeted him almost every evening. It was time to trade out my whining discontent and to replace it with a thankful spirit. To choose cheerful words rather than negative ones.

I wanted to breathe life back into my home and our relationship. Oh, not that it meant I could never be “honest” again; there’s a time and place for that. But I realized that I could save it for another moment. And I was going to make sure that I wasn’t merely “dumping” on him, but truly coming to him for support, help, or a little sympathy. Not complaining for the sake of complaining.

Rather than focusing on all that had gone wrong, I was going to concentrate on all that was good in my day. Things that were true, lovely, and worthy.

And that goes something like this: “The kids had lots of fun at the park today, I got the pantry cleaned out, so glad for my washing machine and (partially-working) dryer, made it to the grocery store, got a nice compliment from my co-worker, and grateful our girl got medical care when she really needed it. . . .”

Same day – different perspective. And that has made all the difference in the world.

Maybe you’ve picked up the habit of complaining as well?

Try changing this one bad habit and see the good it brings to your husband, your marriage, and your home.

From Saint Dolls: Baby Steps to Jesus:

Beautiful, Durable Wire-Wrapped Rosaries!

Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality. Available here.

Here is a marriage blueprint that every woman can follow. Happy marriages do not just happen, they are made. It takes three parties to make a good marriage; the husband, the wife, and the Lord. This book is concerned with helping the woman to become the wife desired and therefore loved that every man worth having wishes to find and keep…..

Ladies, we have one shot at loving our man. We all have the capacity and capability to love him and to do it well. It’s time for our marriages to start thriving in love. This practical book gives specific, real-life instruction on how to enjoy the best marriage has to offer….

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

← Older posts

Follow FF on Facebook

Follow FF on Facebook

Follow FF on MeWe

Have Tea With Me!

  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube

The Catholic Wife and Young Lady’s Maglets!

Beautiful, Feminine Aprons for Sale!

Rosaries, etc.

Recent Posts

  • Develop Union With God Through Prayer (Part One)
  • Nurturing the Gift of Femininity
  • An Apron Giveaway! And a Mother Goose Podcast!
  • Hectic Days for Helen
  • Immodest Conversation/Dangerous Reading

Recent Comments

Beth on An Apron Giveaway! And a Mothe…
maryarc on Develop Union With God Through…
revivedwriter on One Day at a Time – Fr.…
Sandra on An Apron Giveaway! And a Mothe…
maryarc on Nurturing the Gift of Feminini…

Archives

Categories

  • About the Angels
  • Achieving Peace of Heart – Fr. Narciso Irala
  • Advent/Christmas
  • Alice Von Hildebrand
  • An Easy Way to Become a Saint
  • Attitude
  • Baby Charlotte
  • Be Cheerful/Helps to Happiness
  • Beautiful Girlhood
  • Book Reviews
  • Books by Leane
  • by Alice von Hildebrand
  • by Anne Kootz
  • by Charlotte Siems
  • by Emilie Barnes
  • by Father Daniel A. Lord
  • by Father Daniel Considine
  • by Fr. Edward Garesche
  • by Leane Vdp
  • by Maria Von Trapp
  • by Theresa Byrne
  • Cana is Forever
  • Catholic Family Handbook – Fr. Lovasik
  • Catholic Family Handbook, Rev. George A. Kelly
  • Catholic Girl's Guide
  • Catholic Hearth Stories
  • Catholic Home Life
  • Catholic Mother Goose
  • Catholic Teacher's Companion
  • Charity
  • Cheerful Chats for Catholic Children
  • Christ in the Home – Fr. Raoul Plus S.J.
  • Clean Love in Courtship – Fr. Lovasik
  • Courtship and Marriage and the Gentle Art of Homemaking
  • Creativity
  • Dear NewlyWeds-Pope Pius XII
  • Education
  • Events
  • Family Life
  • Fascinating Womanhood
  • Father Walker
  • Father's Role
  • Feast Days
  • Femininity vs Feminist
  • FF Tidbits
  • Finances
  • Finer Femininity Maglet!! (Magazine/Booklet)
  • Finer Femininity Podcast
  • For the Guys – The Man for Her
  • Friendship
  • Give-Aways
  • Guide for Catholic Young Women
  • Health and Wellness
  • Helps to Happiness
  • Hospitality
  • How to be Holy, How to be Happy
  • Inspiring Quotes
  • Joy
  • Kindness
  • Lent
  • Light and Peace by Quadrupani
  • Loving Wife
  • Marriage
  • Modesty
  • Motherhood
  • My Shop – Meadows of Grace
  • Organization Skills
  • Parenting
  • Patterns
  • Peace….Leaving Worry Behind
  • Plain Talks on Marriage – Rev. Fulgence Meyer
  • Podcasts – Finer Femininity
  • Power of Words
  • Prayers
  • Praying
  • Printables
  • Questions People Ask About Their Children – Fr. Daniel A. Lord
  • Questions Young People Ask Before Marriage, Fr. Donald Miller, C.SS.R., 1955
  • Reading
  • Recipes
  • Rev. Fulton Sheen
  • Sacramentals
  • Scruples/Sadness
  • Seasons
  • Seasons, Feast Days, etc.
  • Sermons
  • Sex Instructions/Purity
  • Singles
  • Smorgasbord 'n Smidgens
  • Special Websites
  • Spiritual Tidbits
  • Tea-Time With FinerFem – Questions/My Answers
  • The Catholic Youth's Guide to Life and Love
  • The Christian Home ~ Celestine Strub, OFM
  • The Everyday Apostle
  • The Holy Family
  • The Mass/The Holy Eucharist
  • The Rosary
  • The Wife Desired – Father Kinsella
  • Tidbits for Your Day
  • Traditional Family Weekend
  • True Men As We Need Them
  • True Womanhood, A book of Instruction for Women of the World, Rev. Bernard O'Reilly, L.D., 1893
  • Virtues
  • Vocation
  • Will Training by Rev. Edward Barrett
  • Womanhood
  • Youth
  • Youth's Pathfinder
  • Youth/Courtship

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Blogroll

  • Discuss
  • Get Inspired
  • Get Polling
  • Get Support
  • Learn WordPress.com
  • Theme Showcase
  • WordPress Planet
  • WordPress.com News

Disclosure Policy

This site contains affiliate links. Read more details here: Disclosure Policy

Powered by WordPress.com.

 

Loading Comments...