Disclaimer: Busy-ness isn’t always a solution to real, clinical depression or other mental issues. If there are real problems, seek out help. But keeping busy and not thinking of ourselves so much can go a long way to a happier, healthier life.

We are busy mothers and wives. We could lament this fact, but instead we will rejoice in it. Idleness is the devil’s workshop. There are so many self-inflicted nervous ailments that we avoid if we learn to resign, no, like my mother would say, EMBRACE our crosses each day and glory in being the best wife and mother we can be!

And for the unmarried, do not be afraid to embrace your vocation, whatever it may be. Hesitation towards the vocation of wife and mother should be spurned. It is a sacrificial life, it is true, but one that is full of so many joys, so many opportunities to give of yourself. As the years go by, you will marvel at your growth in character because of what you have given to your family.

Father Irala from Achieving Peace of Heart:

No one who lives for himself alone lives as fully or produces as much as he who lives for others and does good for others.

When you are dominated by your unconscious mental activities, you lead a negative life which is colored by a sickly egoism.

You are always thinking of your own troubles and finding ways to lessen them. You can find no time to busy yourself with others or do any positive and progressive work. You see the enemy everywhere and are wholly taken up with fleeing from him.

Such a person lives, as Fosdick puts it, as if in a room lined with mirrors. Wherever he looks he sees himself.

But when he busies himself with others, several of these mirrors are changed into windows through which he can see other faces, other lives and other more pleasant landscapes.

You will also find great help in a noble ideal. This may be professional or religious. Let it be some unselfish dedication of your work either out of patriotism, love of your neighbor, or from some religious motive.

I knew a young doctor who was exhausted by his studies and first labors. He was crushed by insomnia, obsessions, fatigue and a sickly egoism.

Then he decided to take a trip to rest and distract himself. On his arrival at a Chinese port, a missionary invited him to visit his hospital.

He began to interest himself in the illnesses of those good people and lent them his professional service out of compassion. He ended up by remaining as the head of the establishment. He forgot his own ills and was completely cured.

Keep Busy

Employ your time well and so distribute it among different tasks that by keeping yourself busy you have no time for worry.

To enable the factor of feeling to intervene here, let your undertakings be in the possible and practical order.

Make sure they are useful and interesting. Only when the sick imagination finds the field of consciousness unoccupied will it be able to torture you with its sad and discouraging exaggerations. Idleness and the lack of an ideal produce more neurotics than work ever does.

A young bride, her mother told me, used to live tormented by fears. One fear was that she would lose her mind.

She bore a son, and still the fears continued. In the course of time she had five more children and because she was not rich she had to do all her own housework. Hardly could a worry take shape when a child’s wail would bring her flying to its side.

Or two of them would start a squabble and she would be off to calm them down. Or she had to get a meal ready, or the ironing board was calling her.

Or rain threatened to wet her laundry that was stretched on the line to dry. Some urgent household task would always be taking up her whole attention and coming just in time to kill worries at their first stirring.

The famous Jesuit scholar, Father Wassman, conquered his own depression by taking up the study of ants.

In this field he later became so preeminent that the whole world marveled at his books.

“Regularity in meals is another thing the wise housekeeper will insist upon in her abode. Regularity and punctuality, how delightful they are, and how they ease the roll of the domestic wheels! A punctual and tidy woman makes a punctual and tidy home.” -Annie S. Swan, Courtship and Marriage And the Gentle Art of Home-Making, 1894

 

 

 

Get the true story…

 

Inspire and delight your children with these lighthearted and faith-filled poems. Take a peek at Meadows of Grace here.

 

 

The book is filled with wonderful advice on how to live a happy life…

Here is a complete guide to mature, responsible, even noble behavior in our complex modern society. Written in the 1930s by a wise Jesuit priest and steeped in the wisdom of the ages, these pages teach the timeless principles that have led countless souls to true success and lasting happiness….

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A little heavier read today…but excellent!

by Father Narciso Irala, S.J.

You can have a happiness and joy which is not external and vain but interior, true and well-founded, one which fills your heart with satisfaction.

This happiness has four aspects and comes to us through many channels:

Aesthetic pleasure by which we receive within us the beauty of the external world through conscious sensations, when we contemplate the beauties of nature or of the arts, and especially when we do this in the light and warmth of an ideal. Continue reading →

Fr. Irala’s Achieving Peace of Heart has been one of our favorite books through the years. Here is an excerpt on practical ways to overcome fear….

From Achieving Peace of Heart by Fr. Narciso Irala

Fear is the emotion most difficult to control because often we do not know what we fear or why we are afraid, as in cases of anxiety, phobias, or groundless fears.

The motive is often unconscious or may be transferred from its real cause to some accompanying circumstance. Or we may be unconsciously repressing some natural reaction which might humiliate us, we think, if seen.

Instead, we give it expression in “symbolic” fears which we recognize as groundless, but which we do not know how to control.

In such cases a deeper exploration of the subconscious is indicated, an investigation of the abnormality and the circumstances which first accompanied it. Discovering these, we may more easily control a transferred fear.

If the fear is conscious, we may take the following steps to conquer it:

1.Before all else, act. Fear already tends to inhibit our activities. So we must not assist it by remaining inactive but, on the contrary, conquer it by acting.

A North Pole explorer owes his rescue to such a procedure. Lost on the endless ice, he could not find his camp. Instead of worrying about it, he began to heap up piles of snow and ice at regular intervals. These helped him to make calculations through which he eventually rediscovered his camp.

2.Make them concrete. We must illuminate those dark caverns. Answer these questions in writing and in detail: “Just what am I afraid of? And why?”When fear or anxiety is made concrete and viewed objectively, it is destroyed.

3.Reason about them. “What probabilities are there that this [the thing I fear] will really happen? And even if it does happen, will it really be as disastrous as I fear?”

4.Face up to them. “Even supposing that this happens, what then? So what? Are there not others who have gone through similar crises? Haven’t they gone on living and become happy? And even if I have to die, so what? Then can’t I begin to be happier in eternity?” When we imagine the worst possible natural evil that could happen to us and sincerely accept it and so find a human or divine solution for it, we shall be victorious over exaggerated fear.

5.Avoid the exciting factors, or rather the alarming ideas which these stimuli arouse in us. Distract your attention from them by means of concentrating it upon conscious sensations or by deliberately following out a favorite train of thought or, even better,-

6.Deliberately affirm contrary judgments, e.g., “There is no special danger. The probability that this will happen is very small. Even if it does happen, the disadvantage would be insignificant, or at least there would come with it several advantages which would far counterbalance it.”

7.Deliberately foster contrary feelings, e.g., of courage, or security. This is done by the same means by which fear betrayed us, i.e., by intense acts of courage, by vivid remembrances of peaceful moments or places, by actually saying something with a tone of courage or security in the voice.

8.Associate this reliving of past peaceful moments with the circumstances which had been producing anxiety in you. Imagine that you are in control of the situation and that you are speaking in a masterful tone of voice.

In a Brazilian seminary I met a stammerer who was afraid that he would be unable to go on to the priesthood because of this defect. Face to face with the Rector of the seminary he could not speak two consecutive words. The same thing would happen when with certain of his companions and in certain classes.

On the contrary he spoke well whenever he had learned something by memory. Hence it was the feeling of anxiety which was inhibiting his vocal muscles. He was afraid that the Rector would declare him unsuitable for the priesthood.

But I helped him to remove this fear by showing him that he could cure himself if he would implant the contrary feelings in his sub-conscious by the means indicated above. And so I had him link these feelings to the experience which had terrified him most.

I had him imagine and then actually say, “I am going to see Father Rector . . . I greet him . . . And all is serene. I am completely at peace and am master of the situation.”

At first he spoke the last phrase with the same descriptive tone as the first. But I had him repeat it after me with a tone of security. On doing it with all the courage and force of which he was capable, I felt that he was transformed.

Three days later the Rector came to thank me for the good done to his seminarians, and he particularly mentioned that the stammerer had been cured.

9.In cases of muscular constriction. By this I mean a latent state of insecurity or anxiety due to strong and prolonged tension in the intercostal muscles. This prevents the quiet easy expansion of the chest which is normal when we are secure or in good spirits.

Instead, we would then tend to assume a posture characteristic of timidity or depression. But, since there appear to be no mental or emotional causes of fear, we should try to loosen these muscles by adequate gymnastic exercises, a more correct posture, or massage.

10.Assume the opposite facial expression: not the wide open, staring eyes which are a sign of fear, but rather a look that is secure and, mild.

Keep the voice deep and firm; let it rely on the outgoing air current and not on forcing the throat muscles. Maintain a respiration that is deeper or slower. To do this, instead of concentrating on expanding the lungs, try to expand the nasal passages and keep them well opened.

The great St. Bernard wrote in his rule that whenever the monastic bell rang, the monks were to drop what they were doing and go to whatever they were being called to.

In our homes, our monastic bell is all the many things beckoning at us throughout the day…the diapers to be changed, the dishes that need doing, the laundry that needs to be done, etc.

We respond to these things right away, even though we many not want to, remembering that these duties are the very things that will make us holy.
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