Category Archives: Modesty

Lovely Quotes & Tea~Time With Finer Femininity (Addendum) ~ Why We Wear Dresses

18 Monday Oct 2021

Posted by in Inspiring Quotes, Modesty, Tea-Time With FinerFem - Questions/My Answers

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Here are some lovely quotes for your encouragement and inspiration. Following is an Addendum to the Tea~Time With Finer Femininity from the other day….

Friendships in the family require care and culture—as do other friendships. We must win one another’s love inside the home doors just as we win the love of outside friends. We must prove ourselves worthy; we must show ourselves unselfish, self forgetful, thoughtful, and kind, tender, patient, helpful. Then when we have won each other we must keep the treasure of affection and confidence, just as we do in the case of friends not in the sacred circle of home. -J.R. Miller

Domestic Queens are not ordinary run-of-the-mill women. They add homey touches to their work with things that please the senses and make a person feel welcome and loved. A warmth of spirit permeates her household as if you walked in from clouds to a bright sunny day. She radiates understanding, love and happiness and makes the home a place her man wants to come home to. -Fascinating Womanhood http://amzn.to/2oRS2Nm (afflink)

“There is nothing insignificant in the life which we live within our own doors. There is nothing which is without influence in the building up of character. . Let no one think that the history of any day in the life of a home, is not recorded imperishably on the sensitive lives of the children.” -J.R. MIller

Alice von Hildebrand – “St. Francis de Sales tells us that pious women should be well-dressed, but this doesn’t mean they must become slaves of fashion. There’s a way of dressing which is attractive, even elegant, but at the same time modest and simple. More importantly, attractiveness shouldn’t be reserved for guests and those you meet outside the home, while you ‘let yourself go’ when you’re at home. The moment a couple marries, they should begin to try always to be at their best for each other, physically (and above all) spiritually.” The Privilege of Being a Woman, http://amzn.to/2p2Oyrr (afflink)

“There is, however, a second class of saints, ordinary saints. Bear in mind that these saints are no less saints than the others; they are true saints and have reached exalted heights of sanctity, though in a different way. They lead humble, simple lives, performing their daily duties well and using the ordinary but abundant means of sanctity given by God to all Christians. These means we too can use, and by them we can attain a high degree of holiness.” -Rev. Fr. Paul O’Sullivan, An Easy Way To Become A Saint, 1947 http://amzn.to/2fduYWW (afflink)

“Never be ashamed of your home or family because it is humble. People who look down on those whose home is humble and who lack social prominence are not worthy of the friendship of decent families. The most important things in life are character, honest work, humility, loyalty, friendliness, and love.” -Fr. Lovasik, Catholic Family Handbook http://amzn.to/2y7iaFI (afflink)

There will be lives only if there are mothers, mothers who respond to their essential and divine vocation. “Give me, O my God, the grace through respect for You and for Your work, always to have a devotion to and a respect for life.. Grant me also the grace to be in Your Hands a not too unworthy instrument of Your creative power. Let me be ‘up-to-date’ whenever it is a question of enrolling a new name in the Book of Life.” – Christ in the Home, http://amzn.to/2mpCpcV Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J., 1950’s (afflink)

Given unconditional love, boundaries to live by, and a Faith to cherish, your children will blossom. They will know that no matter how bad things may be on the outside there is a place of hope and acceptance with family. -Finer Femininity

“The Sacrament of our marriage will impart to us the graces necessary to keep our good resolutions. How few understand this Sacrament! How few prepare themselves for it and expect to receive from it the graces it can give to those who seek them worthily.” – Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J., Christ in the Home http://amzn.to/2f0NuOy (afflink)

Tea~Time With Finer Femininity

This is an addendum to this post.

I get questions from you now and again and I think the answers could be beneficial to others and so I have posted them here….I have changed some words to protect anonymity.

Disclaimer: If in doubt with anything I say, please check with your spiritual director. He knows you and your situation and has the grace of state to advise you.

Question: What is the reason you and your daughters wear dresses vs. slacks? I think it’s wonderful but would like to know the thoughts behind it. Thank you.

Answer: Thank you for your question and well, since you asked…

I am not a confrontational person…at least I don’t think I am. So I would like to be able to say that what a woman wears is a personal choice, it is up to them. But, I think all of us would have to admit, this is not true in so many spheres of the moral order. What we do (and what we wear) affects those around us…greatly! Especially our men, when it comes to our clothing. So here is why we don’t wear slacks…

Pants accentuates our curves. It’s as simple as that. A skirt is more modest and concealing, (provided the woman/girl is wearing a modest skirt).

They are also more feminine. This is what Father Ripperger has to say:

While it is not sinful for a woman to wear pants, nevertheless it is more perfect or virtuous for a woman to wear a dress rather than pants. It more perfectly fits her as a woman. It is more feminine. Therefore it is more modest because it is more decorous.

I remember reading an article about the Latin Mass. It said that the liturgy will actually form who we are, if we give it enough time. The more we attend, the more It will change us on the inside..

Well, I feel the same way about our dress.

There is a saying….

“The body is the shell of the soul, and the dress the husk of that shell. But the husk often tells what the kernel is.”

What is that saying to us? Our externals matter. Our husk, our clothing, reveals who we are on the inside. And on the reverse, our mode of dressing, will work to change us intimately, too.

The virtuous person will manifest this virtue through the use of proper dress.

From Cardinal Siri, 1960:

The clothes a person wears conditions, determines and modifies that person’s gestures, attitudes and behavior such that from merely being worn on the outside, clothing comes to impose a particular frame of mind on the inside. So when a person changes their dress it will change how that person views her self image. On the converse of that, if she has a distorted self-image it will be manifested in her dress.

Fr. Ripperger:

Women who go back to dressing like women find an inner change which occurs within them. They feel more feminine. Which is a good thing…femininity is a perfection proper to a woman. And those perfections are very admirable.

I believe and have experienced this myself, that when we, as women, dress like women, we will change. We will become more feminine in what we do, the way we walk, the activities we take part in, the way we think. This is good. We will see a very positive change in ourselves. We will also see a positive change in how others treat us.

Another important tidbit was something I read quite a bit later along my modesty journey.  And it served to reinforce in me and my girls our decision as a family. It was this…

From Dressing With Dignity:

Advertising agencies quickly prepared marketing research to find out the reaction of men to a woman wearing pants. Do you know what they found? Using newly developed technology, they tracked the path that a man’s eyes take when looking at a woman in pants.

They found that when a man looked at a woman in pants from the back, he looked directly at her bottom. When he looked at a woman wearing pants from the front, advertisers found that his eyes dropped directly to a woman’s most private and intimate area. Not her face! Not her chest!

Advertisers figured out a long time ago how to apply Gestalt psychology and the Law of Closure (Humans tend to enclose a space by completing a contour and ignoring gaps in the figure) and the Law of Good Continuation (Humans tend to continue contours whenever the elements of the pattern establish an implied direction) when devising advertising that is aimed at men.

Gracious, what does all of that mean? It means that the eye will follow a line, and a viewer will complete the picture with his or her imagination.

Advertisers know that the same holds true when a man views a woman wearing slacks or a skirt with slits. Men’s eyes will follow the lines right up her legs and finish the picture in their imagination.

Women’s eyes may do the same thing, but since women don’t have the same type of temptations, their imaginations don’t complete the picture in the same way as men’s do.

Because we have raised our girls in dresses, this negative aspect of why we dress modestly is not something we dwell on too much.  We don’t think about it…dressing this way is part of who we are. And we like to focus on the positive aspects of wearing dresses. There are so many…

Consistently wearing dresses may seem over-the-top to many these days. And that’s okay. The rewards are great! (And every one of my daughters and daughters-in-law will attest to that!)

 

Cardinal Siri wrote a strong article in support of dresses for women. The article is here.

This Maglet (magazine/booklet) is for you…dear young (and not-so-young), Catholic, Feminine Soul. It is a compilation of traditional, valuable Catholic articles on the subjects that touch the hearts of serious-minded Catholic young ladies. There are articles on courtship, purity, singleness, vocation, prayer, confession, friends, tea parties, obedience, etc. This information is solid, written by orthodox Catholic writers (most of them gone to their eternal home) that cared about the proper formation of a young Catholic adult in a confused world. Take this information to heart and your journey through adulthood will be filled with many blessings! It is 40 pages, packed with information. See photo for Table of Contents.
My Disclaimer: This book is, in general, appropriate for ages 14 and up. There are some articles on purity in courtship, etc. These do not go into graphic detail but you are the only ones to decide if it is good timing. I would let my own 14 year old read it. If she came up with questions, good. I would answer them. Ignorance is not innocence.

Available here.

Package of all 3 Maglets here.

This booklet contains practical advice on the subjects of dating and choosing a spouse from the Catholic theological viewpoint. Father Lovasik points out clearly what one’s moral obligations are in this area, providing an invaluable aid to youthful readers. Additionally, he demonstrates that Catholic marriage is different from secular marriage and why it is important to choose a partner who is of the Catholic Faith if one would insure his or her personal happiness in marriage. With the rampant dangers to impurity today, with the lax moral standards of a large segment of our society, with divorce at epidemic levels, Clean Love in Courtship will be a welcome source of light and guidance to Catholics serious about their faith.

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A Frank, Yet Reverent Instruction on the Intimate Matters of Personal Life for Young Men. To our dear and noble Catholic youths who have preserved, or want to recover, their purity of heart, and are minded to retain it throughout life. For various reasons many good fathers of themselves are not able to give their sons this enlightenment on the mysteries of life properly and sufficiently. They may find this book helpful in the discharge of their parental responsibilities in so delicate a matter.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

New Podcast! 5 Tips on Modest Summer Blouses

26 Thursday Aug 2021

Posted by in by Leane Vdp, Modesty, Podcasts - Finer Femininity

≈ 8 Comments

A little encouragement in your search for modest blouses for the hot weather (it’s still hot here in Kansas) along with a little tutorial on shortening and hemming your blouse sleeves…

If I am not capable of great things, I will not become discouraged, but I will do the small things! Sometimes, because we are unable to do great things, heroic acts, we neglect the small things that are available to us and which are, moreover, so fruitful for our spiritual progress and are such a source of joy: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful over a few things, I will now trust you with greater. Come and share your Master’s joy.” (Matthew 25:21) -Fr. Jacques Philippe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace https://amzn.to/2WcepLs (afflink)

Painting by Jim Daly

Coloring pages for your children….

Author Mary Reed Newland here draws on her own experiences as the mother of seven to show how the classic Christian principles of sanctity can be translated into terms easily applied to children even to the very young.

Because it’s rooted in experience, not in theory, nothing that Mrs. Newland suggests is impossible or extraordinary. In fact, as you reflect on your experiences with your own children, you’ll quickly agree that hers is an excellent commonsense approach to raising good Catholic children.

Fr. Lawrence Lovasik, the renowned author of The Hidden Power of Kindness, gives faithful Catholics all the essential ingredients of a stable and loving Catholic marriage and family — ingredients that are in danger of being lost in our turbulent age.

Using Scripture and Church teachings in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format, Fr. Lovasik helps you understand the proper role of the Catholic father and mother and the blessings of family. He shows you how you can secure happiness in marriage, develop the virtues necessary for a successful marriage, raise children in a truly Catholic way, and much more.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

 

A Fashion Show….Meet Virginia!

26 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by in FF Tidbits, Modesty

≈ 4 Comments

This time of the year I like to repost this as inspiration during this sunny, warm-up season!

Since I wrote this post, 5 years ago, Virginia has had 3 more children (she now has eight)….she has 2 girls now which is balm to a sewing mom’s soul….nothing like pretty dresses to fuss over! She has also made scads more outfits that, if I get my act together, I may post in the future.

In the meantime, it is always fun to look at (and look back at) nice home made clothes… so enjoy!

And if you would like to look at another Fashion Show Post….visit the Spring Fashion Show here.

Who says you can’t be modest and cute at the same time!?

My oldest daughter, Virginia (known by most as Gin) is an excellent seamstress and likes to make clothes for herself, her sisters, her 4 little boys….and now her little girl!

Virginia didn’t take any lessons except my own rudimentary ones as she was growing up. She took off with it and it is now one of her passions and we all benefit from it! 🙂

We are very spoiled. If we need a new outfit for something and are willing to foot the bill for the material and pattern, Gin will whip it out for us! We try to keep it at a minimum. It’s not like she has nothing to do except sit around, read and sip tea!! 😀

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The following pictures are of her sewing room and her handy-dandy Bernina sewing machine. Her in-laws bought her a refurbished one for her wedding. Click on the first picture of each group of photos to see the whole gallery (there are 4 galleries so don’t miss them!!).   GALLERY 1:

And here are some pictures of the recent clothing she has made. She was a little reticent to be the model but I talked her into it! The other girls didn’t mind at all. Girls will be girls, you know. They always love a fashion show! GALLERY 2:

And we can’t forget the recent wedding! Virginia made all the bridesmaid dresses and the flower girl dresses! GALLERY 3:

Here are some of the guys. Virginia likes to make fancy vests! GALLERY 4:

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“The first duty of the wife is to study to be in every way she can the companion, the help, and the friend of her husband. Indeed on her capacity to be all this, and her earnest fulfillment of this threefold function depends all the happiness of both their lives, as well as the well-being of the whole family.” –Fr. Bernard O’Reilly, The Mirror of True Womanhood, 1893  (afflink)

 

 

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Elegant Modesty – Anne Kootz

01 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by in by Anne Kootz, Modesty

≈ 4 Comments

Concise and clear, Anne has some great tips on fashion, with modesty always being the base of an outfit.

Elegant Modesty

by Anne Ross Kootz

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Why We Want It

Young women are particularly focused on their appearance in order to attract men. This is the biggest market for retail clothing! For decades now clothing marketed to women, particularly the teen/college age group, is designed to emphasize the sexual availability of the wearer – not the sexuality, the availability.

Understanding the desire of women to attract men, one must also realize how men think. Women who dress to send the signal of a cheap eyeful, or an easy one-night stand, will attract men who want this. Do these men care what is in the head or the heart of that woman? Unlikely.

However, there is good news: women can dress attractively to interest men who will notice first her head and her heart. Then what follows will more likely be a respectful, enduring relationship. The goal is to conceal, not reveal. The artistic eye of a good clothing designer can help by providing clothing that sends this signal: I am beautiful – inside and out. The designer will use the tools of line, color, contrast, fabric, quantity, coverage, fit, and combination, and situational appropriateness, to draw the eye of the beholder up to the face.

How We Get It

The eye follows line and points of contrast. Clothing that draws the eye up will start with: vertical lines. (This has the advantage of making the wearer appear more slender, as well.) Quantity – of fabric as well as the number of clothing items, will only hint at the feminine shape, rather than reveal the details. Color is used carefully, keeping in mind the woman’s natural coloring.

Use the darker, duller colors below, brightest near the face. Contrast draws the eye as well, so wear colorful jewelry or scarves near the face. Hats are ideal for both drawing the eye up and increasing perceived height.

Additional points include proper fit, allowing for some extra room (not only slenderizes, but is also more comfortable than tight fitting clothing) and fabric – smooth fabrics slenderize, nubby/textured finishes draw the eye and add apparent weight.

Summing it up, how would a “summer” colored woman dress on a pleasant autumn day, when, in addition to a productive lifestyle, she hopes to attract the authentic gentleman with whom she might have a happy future?

  1. Foundation garments – always! – completely concealed by clothing.
  2. Long sleeved knit tee in a color that compliments her face – such as soft aqua.
  3. Midi length (mid-calf) A-line khaki skirt – yes skirt – lends extra grace to her walk, in a compatible neutral – such as medium taupe. This sways gently while walking, and its length continues to conceal when seated.
  4. Pantyhose or knee highs compliment any ankle. In this case, taupe.
  5. Flat shoes – dark brown slip-ons, for example, are comfortable for walking.
  6. Cardigan – color coordinated with the skirt – a similar shade of taupe or cream. This contributes to modest concealment while also adding interest. (Layers also evoke higher economic status.) Sweaters can be worn loosely about the shoulders as the day warms.
  7. Understated makeup and uncluttered hairstyle – adds beauty to the face without drawing attention to itself.
  8. Finishing touches – those European style rayon scarves, or any other silky scarf that coordinates with the turquoise and taupe while adding color and contrast, for example in a paisley pattern for autumn.
  9. To really set yourself above the crowd, a coordinating beret, if weather is cool enough.November 2012 in MO 217

Now What?

What does our young lady do once she has caught the eye of that intriguing young man? She smiles! Now he sees the virtuous, vivacious woman he has been seeking, and is encouraged to say hello!

Frequently Asked Questions

1. OK – great if you have a slender, youthful figure, but I am a bit short and round. What can I do?

Make more use of the vertical line —

  • Instead of A-line skirt, use a straight line version – be sure it has a slit (ending below the knee) for walking comfort.
  • Instead of a high-hip length cardigan, use a longer cardigan that hits around mid thigh, with vertical knit-in ribs
  • Shove the sleeves of the tee and cardigan up (secure with rubber band) to just below the elbow – these folds on the arm have a surprisingly slenderizing effect on the total look!
  • Definitely make use of a beret or decorative headband.

2. What if it is just too hot for a beret and cardigan?

Lighten everything up–

  • keep your layers but modify them for conditions
  • use flat sandals (not tacky flip-flops!) instead of shoes
  • ditch the hosiery, but keep the skirt length – the swish will cool you as you walk.
  • use a lighter weight tee – keep long sleeves (pushed up to elbow.)
  • trade the cardigan for a lightweight woven shirt – open at front for that vertical line
  • trade the beret for a decorative hairband or clip

3. Great ideas – but I don’t have anything like this in my wardrobe, and can’t afford to buy much!

Thrift Stores!

  • Some of my favorites are the Goodwill and Savers.
  • Well organized, well lit, clean, and always a great selection. On my suggestion, my 20 year old son actually found a perfect fit, 3 piece, 3 season taupe worsted wool suit there, $25! (And I was suddenly brilliant.) This kind of place has yielded amazing treasures for me, too.
  • Check White Pages for thrift stores and second-hand stores in your town.
  • eBay is another terrific place to shop for attractive, modest clothing – you can’t try them on, but you can compare posted measurements to be assured of fit. Downside is shipping cost, upside is prices often so low shipping won’t matter much.

4. I work for a pizza restaurant. Have to wear a uniform — polo shirt and pants. How can I be elegantly modest in this work situation?

Check with your owner/manager — he or she may be delighted to accommodate you.

  • Might you use a shirt size that drapes rather than clings? Only top one or two buttons unbuttoned?
  • Might you wear a below-knee khaki skirt in place of pants?
  • If pants are required, use a larger size that covers your derriere somewhat loosely.
  • Would a small scarf loosely knotted around the neck be within standards?
  • A decorative hair band or clip does its usual good work.

5. My hospital work requires scrubs – not at all flattering in color or style. Now what?

  • Make sure the scrubs are loose in the bust line and derriere, in good condition, and highest quality you can afford.
  • Your neat, non-fussy hair style, understated make-up and small earrings are especially important in this situation.
  • A decorative hair band or clip does its usual good work.
  • Add that sunny smile as often as possible to improve your looks as well as brighten a tough day for your patients.

6. What should I do when the weather is really beastly cold?

  • You might still manage a skirt very well, with stretch leggings (dark) under the skirt.
  • Of course, wear warm boots!
  • A rayon or other warm scarf does double duty, as does the hat/beret!
  • Wear gloves or mittens. Warm head and hands provide great comfort in cold weather.

7. Now it’s beastly HOT! How to be modest and cool as possible?

  • Layers are still your best friend. Use ‘breathable’ fabrics such as light cottons and washable silk blends.
  • As dark colors absorb heat (remember your high school science classes?) and light colors repel, so – use the lighter colors in your palette for your layers, and save the darker/brighter ones for accents like earrings and hair accessories.
  • Your mid-calf A-line skirt is again your good friend. It swishes and cools you as you walk!

8. I will be attending a formal dinner and dance. Do all these “rules” still apply?

A basic rule of elegant modesty is dress for the situation.

  • Formal events call for formal fabrics (satin, silk, crepe), and high heels.
  • Find out what the hostess (if any) of the event will be wearing.
  • Floor length formals are always elegant and attractive. Anything else is merely trendy.
  • A slightly lower cut neckline may serve in this case;  to showcase your 16-18″ strand of pearls. (There are also beautiful, inexpensive fakes.)
  • Off the shoulder? You do not need to bare your shoulders for anyone but your husband.
  • If an otherwise perfect formal is bare shouldered, add a cutaway jacket in the same fabric. Otherwise, a long panel or scarf worn about the shoulders is not only modest, but especially elegant.
  • Slit up the side? Never! If the skirt has a generous sweep, there is no need for a slit.
  • Hunt for modest formals on eBay or CraigsList, for example, with ‘mother of bride’ as search words.
  • See my suggested links for other online stores that feature elegantly modest formal wear.

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“Blessed is the home where unkind speech does not enter, nor cursing, nor bad literature, nor intemperance, for on that home will be heaped the blessings of peace.” – Fr. Lawrence Lovasik
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Catholic Mother Goose! Available here.

Who can resist those little ditties, those lovely little sing-song verses called Nursery Rhymes! Songs and rhymes for young children have been passed down from generation to generation. They are fun, children love them, and they provide a warm, nurturing experience for the whole family.

This book gives us some lovely rhymes that can, and should, be committed to heart by your children. Not only will it provide all the benefits of reading and memorizing, but it will supply some simple reflections that will turn those little minds to what is most important in their life….their Catholic Faith.

Research shows children learn more in their first eight years than they do in the rest of their lives. This is a powerful time to teach them.

Most important, it is a crucial time for us, as those devout Catholic parents of old, to teach our children their Faith as they sit at our feet and learn from us.

So, parents, here is a teaching tool that can help! These are meaningful little rhymes that will provide an enjoyable way to teach your children and will enrich your home with Catholic culture!

Encourage your children to learn the poems in this book. Let them peruse the pages and look at the pictures. You will find that it will be a meaningful experience for all!

Available here.

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The Honorable Woman

31 Sunday Dec 2017

Posted by in Beautiful Girlhood, Fascinating Womanhood, Modesty, Motherhood

≈ 6 Comments

by Father Eric Flood

(not for publication without approval)

When we consider men and women, we know God created them equal as being human, but with differences to fulfill Divine roles.God endowed each gender with necessary capabilities, and for women, this meant gifting them with a womb to bear children.

We can even consider the Feast of the Immaculate Conception as the day the womb of St. Anne reached its perfection, and the Annunciation as the day the womb of Our Lady reached its grandeur.  At the very foundation of every female’s dignity is her capability of being a mother, and from this stems her honor, her value, and why she deserves respect, care, and protection

Let’s take a fruit tree, and examine when does an apple tree reach its full excellence?  As it is growing? in the springtime, when it has blossoms?  Is it not when the tree is full of ripe fruit?

So too a girl.  When does a female reach her fulfillment:  as she is growing as a child? when she enters the springtime of adolescence?  Is it not when she bears fruit and brings a child into the world.

This marvelous ability confided to women, bringing life into the world, requires a body designed by God to not only feed her child, but with the emotional life which is more caring and compassionate.

When a girl grows in her understanding of this honor, her behavior changes, her self-esteem is lifted up, and she places great value upon herself.  It could be said that possibly everything how women are to act and behave differently than men is rooted in their ability to bear children.

As a result, any attempt to downplay the great role of motherhood, any act to thwart her bringing forth life, injures her dignity.  It replaces her exalted ability and her exalted place in society with lesser goals: pleasure, or the pursuit of worldly achievements or recognition.

So all women, whether mothers or not, deserve to be treated in accord with this dignity, and to encourage this attitude towards are females, we will use the assistance of the image of a garden as a fitting analogy to the womb.

There are grand botanical gardens and arboretums throughout the world, displaying beautiful landscapes and plant life.  The myriad of flowers, plants, and trees arranged to radiate with beauty, splendor, and life.  What could have been a simple plot of land – is made pleasing to the eyes after great labor.

Soil needs great care, diligence, and protection to become an elegant garden, and the womb needs great attention and labor to use the fertile ground to yield the great flowers of children.

Each woman, from her childhood, devotes abundant labor into preparing and preserving her garden.  Plowing, cultivating, and removing stones, making sure the weeds of any secular thought of pleasure over purpose do not take root.

Her heart, too, is greatly involves as it learns that love is beyond a good feeling, but is to be genuinely valued for who she is.  There is an aqueduct between the heart and womb, so what the woman perceives about herself – the degree she rightly loves herself and knows she is loved by God – supplies the womb with the nutrition of charity.

In understanding her true worth, she builds a fence around the garden, enclosing it so animals cannot enter and trample the garden.  This wall is what Catholic spiritual writers call modesty.  Extending beyond clothing, as it encompasses behavior, eyes, words, and demeanor.

We find in the original Garden of Eden, the mention of only 3 persons:  Adam, Eve, and God.   So too, in this garden of the woman, the only persons the woman allows are God and the husband.  God, because He has dominion over all He created.

The husband who is given the keys to the gate of the garden on their wedding day, who has the duty to treasure it rightly as a gardener would show towards a beautiful garden.  On her wedding day, it was as if the bride told him:  “I have preserved my garden, it is precious to me, it is committed to your care, it is a place we can now walk together.

We especially implore, the Immaculate Virgin, to have continuous motherly care over our daughters, so that Our Lady, who preserved her integrity to the perfect degree, will inspire all females here the desire to preserve integrity.

For Our Lady, her garden was immaculate, and now the Gardener would not be any man, but God Himself.  His power overshadowed her (Lk. 1:35), and her womb could not be a less beautiful garden than the original Garden of Paradise.

For women, God does not grant such a noble ability of childbearing without expecting it to be treasured.  So He makes it natural for a girl to esteem her ability to bring life into the world, that from the first instance of recognizing the potential within her, a young girl begins to make a comfortable “home” for her children.

There was a boy who gave a hard boiled egg to a 2-year-old girl thinking she would drop it, then he would peel it.  But what was her reaction:  She carefully held the egg, making sure it would not be injured or broken.  A boy probably wouldn’t do this, he would throw it, to see what would happen, but the girl, it is already within her to protect the precious.

We know that a baby girl is born with all the unfertilized eggs she will most likely ever have in life.  Some speculate more may be made later, but it is a scientific fact that she is born with a tremendous number.

God gave her the eggs at birth, as well as the almost immediate instinctive care of them, like the 2 year old towards the hard boiled egg.  This means, from her infancy, she has to protect them; shielding the garden from enemies, fertilizing the soil by a virtuous life.

Obvious, then, is the importance of appropriate instruction as she matures as to the great gift of childbearing confided to her.  When a young lady understands that her value rests upon this, she more quickly acts and behaves in ways which display the awareness of her dignified position in the world.  Her true feminine dignity shines in all she does in daily life.

From the way she conducts herself around others, to her external appearance, she knows what she does either adds or takes away from her grandeur.  This should be cause for women to consider and meditate how their value, beauty, and honor is built upon, not by what in seen in the mirror, but the ability to be a mother.

Your mind, heart, and womb are so united that everything you do, can be seen in the light of bringing children into the world.  This is why people can be more surprised when women use bad language, sit in a chair like men, are overly aggressive in competition.  These forego a certain elegance of one of such tremendous dignity.

This analogy of the womb to a garden also gives a way mothers can teach daughters about the treasure they hold within.  A little girl easily understand the fragility and preciousness of flowers, and the garden-analogy associates an image of something beautiful in the world to something beautiful within.

As she matures and develops this image of a lovely garden over years of your reiterating it, she will be reassured of keeping the garden beautiful for her future husband and children.  It gives a concrete picture of the place her children will one day play, move, and enjoy living; bathing in the sunlight of motherly love.

It is good to also consider the possibility of the woman who has allowed weeds to grow in her garden?  First, just because there are weeds, it doesn’t stop being a garden.

Second, it can become elegant again; it can still be cultivated into a beautiful garden, but much effort will be required.  With the assistance of the all-powerful God beginning with confession, a vastly arrayed garden can soon flourish.

By His masterful workmanship, God turns the soil into a prosperous garden just as easily as when He took earth which “was void and empty” (Gen. 1:2), created many plants and animals, and the earth abounded with an abundance of life and beauty.

Our Lady was honored to provide a garden for Our Lord, and we extol the tremendous privilege confided to each woman here – whether God has blessed you with children or not.

Since your nobility, esteem, and value are rooted in the ability to have children, this is why it is such a sacrifice for women to become nuns and take a vow of chastity out of love for God.  But they are remembered for it… for all eternity:  for the Church has a special category for saintly women, but not a similar one for men, who made the sacrifice of not having children:  Virgins.

And for those mothers whom God asks to bring children into the world, a tremendous sacrifice is required.  Men know it, and sometimes, they don’t know what to say, but to make a joke, but it is not an easy 9 months, nor the months afterwards, nor the years following.  Why stop there, it is the sacrifice of all your life…  and your very life also.

Your children will always be your children.  Your womb, mind, and heart were so united, that even after they leave the womb, they cannot leave the mind and heart.  They are inseparable from you.

We conclude, then, with the obvious:  men know we have to treat a pregnant woman differently:  there is greater care, compassion, and a certain awe.  The challenge before every man and boy is, since you know how to treat a woman when she is pregnant, then strive to treat every female (mother, sister, daughter) the same way you would as if she were pregnant.  Show continual care, protection, and wonderment; hold her up in high esteem for the way God made her.

And not to leave all women and girls unchallenged, strive to view yourself at all times, whether pregnant or not, as having an elegant garden inside from which life comes forth, so that you live and breathe in accord with your exalted position, with grandeur, nobility, and tremendous value.

Even if not pregnant or elderly, you have a garden inside; giving the importance of behaving, dressing, and acting elegantly all the days of your life.

So that when the years of childbearing pass, the finer part of you, remains – your femininity.  Let the world stand in awe of you.  And when the end of the world arrives, you receive your body back, including your womb – your cherished garden – radiant, elegant, a treasure.

Happy Seventh Day of Christmas! Thank God for His many blessings. Make the most of each and every day. Enjoy the journey. The world will keep whizzing by but we must take time to smell the roses (or make a snowman). Each day is a gift, each person in your life is special. Take nothing for granted.

Coloring Pages for your children…. (click on the picture for larger size)

 

Need some great reading suggestions? Visit My Book List.

 

 

Feminine Fall Fashions

04 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by in FF Tidbits, Modesty

≈ 5 Comments

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We love the fall colors and what a lovely time of the year to model some modest, fall fashions!

We don’t spend a lot of money on clothing but usually either sew them or get them from thrift shops or garage sales. We don’t haunt the sales, either, but are able to find good deals along the way!

I thought you might enjoy some of these fall colors as I got the girls to dress up in their autumn attire!

(Click on the first picture to view the gallery)

A Fashion Show….Meet Virginia!

27 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by in FF Tidbits, Modesty

≈ 11 Comments

 

Since I wrote this post, 5 years ago, Virginia has had 2 more children and is expecting her eighth (she presently has seven)….she has 2 girls now which is balm to a sewing mom’s soul….nothing like pretty dresses to whip up! She has also made scads more outfits that, if I get my act together, I may post in the future.

In the meantime, it is always fun to look at (and look back at) nice home made clothes… so enjoy!

Who says you can’t be modest and cute at the same time!?

My oldest daughter, Virginia (known by most as Gin) is an excellent seamstress and likes to make clothes for herself, her sisters, her 4 little boys….and now her little girl!

Virginia didn’t take any lessons except my own rudimentary ones as she was growing up. She took off with it and it is now one of her passions and we all benefit from it! 🙂

We are very spoiled. If we need a new outfit for something and are willing to foot the bill for the material and pattern, Gin will whip it out for us! We try to keep it at a minimum. It’s not like she has nothing to do except sit around, read and sip tea!! 😀

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The following pictures are of her sewing room and her handy-dandy Bernina sewing machine. Her in-laws bought her a refurbished one for her wedding. Click on the first picture of each group of photos to see the whole gallery (there are 4 galleries so don’t miss them!!).   GALLERY 1:

 

And here are some pictures of the recent clothing she has made. She was a little reticent to be the model but I talked her into it! The other girls didn’t mind at all. Girls will be girls, you know. They always love a fashion show! GALLERY 2:

 

And we can’t forget the recent wedding! Virginia made all the bridesmaid dresses and the flower girl dresses! GALLERY 3:

 

Here are some of the guys. Virginia likes to make fancy vests! GALLERY 4:

 

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“The first duty of the wife is to study to be in every way she can the companion, the help, and the friend of her husband. Indeed on her capacity to be all this, and her earnest fulfillment of this threefold function depends all the happiness of both their lives, as well as the well-being of the whole family.” –Fr. Bernard O’Reilly, The Mirror of True Womanhood, 1893  (afflink)

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Lovely, Charming….

 

Made by my daughter Virginia, these hats are such a beautiful addition to the little girl’s wardrobe. Visit my Meadows of Grace Shoppe  for a peek! 🙂 🙂

 

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Elegant Modesty – Anne Kootz

17 Thursday Nov 2016

Posted by in by Anne Kootz, Modesty

≈ 9 Comments

Concise and clear, Anne has some great tips on fashion, with modesty always being the base of an outfit.

Elegant Modesty

by Anne Ross Kootz

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Why We Want It

Young women are particularly focused on their appearance in order to attract men. This is the biggest market for retail clothing! For decades now clothing marketed to women, particularly the teen/college age group, is designed to emphasize the sexual availability of the wearer – not the sexuality, the availability.

Understanding the desire of women to attract men, one must also realize how men think. Women who dress to send the signal of a cheap eyeful, or an easy one-night stand, will attract men who want this. Do these men care what is in the head or the heart of that woman? Unlikely.

However, there is good news: women can dress attractively to interest men who will notice first her head and her heart. Then what follows will more likely be a respectful, enduring relationship. The goal is to conceal, not reveal. The artistic eye of a good clothing designer can help by providing clothing that sends this signal: I am beautiful – inside and out. The designer will use the tools of line, color, contrast, fabric, quantity, coverage, fit, and combination, and situational appropriateness, to draw the eye of the beholder up to the face.

How We Get It

The eye follows line and points of contrast. Clothing that draws the eye up will start with: vertical lines. (This has the advantage of making the wearer appear more slender, as well.) Quantity – of fabric as well as the number of clothing items, will only hint at the feminine shape, rather than reveal the details. Color is used carefully, keeping in mind the woman’s natural coloring.

Use the darker, duller colors below, brightest near the face. Contrast draws the eye as well, so wear colorful jewelry or scarves near the face. Hats are ideal for both drawing the eye up and increasing perceived height.

Additional points include proper fit, allowing for some extra room (not only slenderizes, but is also more comfortable than tight fitting clothing) and fabric – smooth fabrics slenderize, nubby/textured finishes draw the eye and add apparent weight.

Summing it up, how would a “summer” colored woman dress on a pleasant autumn day, when, in addition to a productive lifestyle, she hopes to attract the authentic gentleman with whom she might have a happy future?

  1. Foundation garments – always! – completely concealed by clothing.
  2. Long sleeved knit tee in a color that compliments her face – such as soft aqua.
  3. Midi length (mid-calf) A-line khaki skirt – yes skirt – lends extra grace to her walk, in a compatible neutral – such as medium taupe. This sways gently while walking, and its length continues to conceal when seated.
  4. Pantyhose or knee highs compliment any ankle. In this case, taupe.
  5. Flat shoes – dark brown slip-ons, for example, are comfortable for walking.
  6. Cardigan – color coordinated with the skirt – a similar shade of taupe or cream. This contributes to modest concealment while also adding interest. (Layers also evoke higher economic status.) Sweaters can be worn loosely about the shoulders as the day warms.
  7. Understated makeup and uncluttered hairstyle – adds beauty to the face without drawing attention to itself.
  8. Finishing touches – those European style rayon scarves, or any other silky scarf that coordinates with the turquoise and taupe while adding color and contrast, for example in a paisley pattern for autumn.
  9. To really set yourself above the crowd, a coordinating beret, if weather is cool enough.November 2012 in MO 217

Now What?

What does our young lady do once she has caught the eye of that intriguing young man? She smiles! Now he sees the virtuous, vivacious woman he has been seeking, and is encouraged to say hello!

Frequently Asked Questions

1. OK – great if you have a slender, youthful figure, but I am a bit short and round. What can I do?

Make more use of the vertical line —

  • Instead of A-line skirt, use a straight line version – be sure it has a slit (ending below the knee) for walking comfort.
  • Instead of a high-hip length cardigan, use a longer cardigan that hits around mid thigh, with vertical knit-in ribs
  • Shove the sleeves of the tee and cardigan up (secure with rubber band) to just below the elbow – these folds on the arm have a surprisingly slenderizing effect on the total look!
  • Definitely make use of a beret or decorative headband.

2. What if it is just too hot for a beret and cardigan?

Lighten everything up–

  • keep your layers but modify them for conditions
  • use flat sandals (not tacky flip-flops!) instead of shoes
  • ditch the hosiery, but keep the skirt length – the swish will cool you as you walk.
  • use a lighter weight tee – keep long sleeves (pushed up to elbow.)
  • trade the cardigan for a lightweight woven shirt – open at front for that vertical line
  • trade the beret for a decorative hairband or clip

3. Great ideas – but I don’t have anything like this in my wardrobe, and can’t afford to buy much!

Thrift Stores!

  • Some of my favorites are the Goodwill and Savers.
  • Well organized, well lit, clean, and always a great selection. On my suggestion, my 20 year old son actually found a perfect fit, 3 piece, 3 season taupe worsted wool suit there, $25! (And I was suddenly brilliant.) This kind of place has yielded amazing treasures for me, too.
  • Check White Pages for thrift stores and second-hand stores in your town.
  • eBay is another terrific place to shop for attractive, modest clothing – you can’t try them on, but you can compare posted measurements to be assured of fit. Downside is shipping cost, upside is prices often so low shipping won’t matter much.

4. I work for a pizza restaurant. Have to wear a uniform — polo shirt and pants. How can I be elegantly modest in this work situation?

Check with your owner/manager — he or she may be delighted to accommodate you.

  • Might you use a shirt size that drapes rather than clings? Only top one or two buttons unbuttoned?
  • Might you wear a below-knee khaki skirt in place of pants?
  • If pants are required, use a larger size that covers your derriere somewhat loosely.
  • Would a small scarf loosely knotted around the neck be within standards?
  • A decorative hair band or clip does its usual good work.

5. My hospital work requires scrubs – not at all flattering in color or style. Now what?

  • Make sure the scrubs are loose in the bust line and derriere, in good condition, and highest quality you can afford.
  • Your neat, non-fussy hair style, understated make-up and small earrings are especially important in this situation.
  • A decorative hair band or clip does its usual good work.
  • Add that sunny smile as often as possible to improve your looks as well as brighten a tough day for your patients.

6. What should I do when the weather is really beastly cold?

  • You might still manage a skirt very well, with stretch leggings (dark) under the skirt.
  • Of course, wear warm boots!
  • A rayon or other warm scarf does double duty, as does the hat/beret!
  • Wear gloves or mittens. Warm head and hands provide great comfort in cold weather.

7. Now it’s beastly HOT! How to be modest and cool as possible?

  • Layers are still your best friend. Use ‘breathable’ fabrics such as light cottons and washable silk blends.
  • As dark colors absorb heat (remember your high school science classes?) and light colors repel, so – use the lighter colors in your palette for your layers, and save the darker/brighter ones for accents like earrings and hair accessories.
  • Your mid-calf A-line skirt is again your good friend. It swishes and cools you as you walk!

8. I will be attending a formal dinner and dance. Do all these “rules” still apply?

A basic rule of elegant modesty is dress for the situation.

  • Formal events call for formal fabrics (satin, silk, crepe), and high heels.
  • Find out what the hostess (if any) of the event will be wearing.
  • Floor length formals are always elegant and attractive. Anything else is merely trendy.
  • A slightly lower cut neckline may serve in this case;  to showcase your 16-18″ strand of pearls. (There are also beautiful, inexpensive fakes.)
  • Off the shoulder? You do not need to bare your shoulders for anyone but your husband.
  • If an otherwise perfect formal is bare shouldered, add a cutaway jacket in the same fabric. Otherwise, a long panel or scarf worn about the shoulders is not only modest, but especially elegant.
  • Slit up the side? Never! If the skirt has a generous sweep, there is no need for a slit.
  • Hunt for modest formals on eBay or CraigsList, for example, with ‘mother of bride’ as search words.
  • See my suggested links for other online stores that feature elegantly modest formal wear.

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fall finer fem quote for the day fall

 
“Blessed is the home where unkind speech does not enter, nor cursing, nor bad literature, nor intemperance, for on that home will be heaped the blessings of peace.” – Fr. Lawrence Lovasik
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On my Meadows of Grace Shoppe here.

Who can resist those little ditties, those lovely little sing-song verses called Nursery Rhymes! Songs and rhymes for young children have been passed down from generation to generation. They are fun, children love them, and they provide a warm, nurturing experience for the whole family.

This book gives us some lovely rhymes that can, and should, be committed to heart by your children. Not only will it provide all the benefits of reading and memorizing, but it will supply some simple reflections that will turn those little minds to what is most important in their life….their Catholic Faith.

Research shows children learn more in their first eight years than they do in the rest of their lives. This is a powerful time to teach them.

Most important, it is a crucial time for us, as those devout Catholic parents of old, to teach our children their Faith as they sit at our feet and learn from us.

So, parents, here is a teaching tool that can help! These are meaningful little rhymes that will provide an enjoyable way to teach your children and will enrich your home with Catholic culture!

Encourage your children to learn the poems in this book. Let them peruse the pages and look at the pictures. You will find that it will be a meaningful experience for all!

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Modesty? What’s the Big Deal?

22 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by in Modesty

≈ 5 Comments

A young man reveals his thoughts on why girls and women need to dress modestly. I thought this was very good and something you can share with the young ladies in your life. Thanks to this young man for taking the time out to share with others and spread the good news about modesty!

 

We need support in going against the flow so it’s good to have the girls (and ladies) get inspired by different outfits and to see that you can be pretty and modest at the same time.  🙂 So…for anyone new perusing this site you may want to take a look at our  Spring Fashion Show and also Fashion Show 2013 which features Virginia’s sewing skills. We did a Fall Fashion Show last year, too.

I love this quote and thought I would post it here:

Pope Pius XII: “The trend of fashions is not in itself evil. It flows spontaneously from the social nature of man, in accordance with an impulse which inclines him to keep in harmony with his fellow men, and with the way of acting of those amongst whom he lives. God does not ask you to live outside your times, so careless of the exigencies of fashion as to render yourselves ridiculous, by dressing in a way opposed to the common tastes and practices of your contemporaries. In following fashion, virtue lies in the middle course. What God asks of you is to remember always that fashion is not, and cannot be, the ultimate rule of conduct for you, that beyond fashion and its demands, there are higher and more pressing laws, principles superior to fashion, and unchangeable, which under no circumstances can be sacrificed to the whim of pleasure or fancy, and before which must bow the fleeting omnipotence of the idol of fashion.”

 

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“He who does the little he can, does much before God. it is not difficult to persevere in prayer when we find consolation in it, but there is great merit in doing so when sensible devotion is reduced to a minimum. Yet it is precisely then that prayer becomes more meritorious and humility is increased, as well as patience and perseverance.” – St. Peter of Alcantara

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Finer Femininity Spring Fashion Show

08 Wednesday Jun 2016

Posted by in FF Tidbits, Modesty

≈ 1 Comment

Last year we had a fashion show featuring Virginia’s hand-made clothes. If you would like to browse through it, the link is here.

This year we are just having lots of fun modeling our spring clothes we have bought inexpensively along the way….at Goodwill, Major Thrift Store and other “thrifty” places.

A lot of these wardrobe choices are every day wear. Most of our daily duties are accomplished wearing outfits comparable to these….with an apron donned over top.

Granted, some are Sunday wear, and you will be able pick those ones out.  Sometimes, though, it is hard to tell. 🙂

We are not afraid to wear what others would deem “too dressy”. Since our wardrobe is made up of skirts, nice tee-shirts or tops we don’t freak out if we get them dirty. Most aprons handle it fine and for the rest we “Shout it Out”(Stain remover).

You can read a sweet, little history of aprons here.

If we are scooping manure or weed eating, then we will pull out the scrubbies. Even then, it is still a skirt, but it would be a definite “work skirt”. My daughter, Rosie, who is 16, does some pretty dirty work with her dad. She wears a skirt made with tougher material (paint, stains and all) and her skecher sneakers.

Maybe it will give you some inspiration. If anything, it sure is fun just to look and see what other ladies are doing with their wardrobes, don’t you think?

You may want to take a look at this wonderful book Dressing with Dignity: Second Edition
by Colleen Hammond. I did a short review on it here.

We can influence our environment just by our example, one step at a time….whether it is with our smile, our kindness and, yes, even our attire. I think we would be amazed the ripple effect we have on our own little worlds, without needing to say a thing. 🙂

For those who are on Facebook, Colleen also has a group called Dressing With Dignity, where ladies share articles on modest fashions, wardrobe choices and are just able to support one another along the way. It is an uplifting group and is focused on making more modest choices, with charity to all on their wardrobe journey!

Colleen’s tagline is “DRESSING WITH DIGNITY challenges the indecent fashions for today’s woman HEAD ON!”

As an aside, you can take a look at her new book, The Correct Thing, here.

Here is our 2014 Finer Femininity Spring Fashion Show:

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Click on the first picture to view the gallery: