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Category Archives: Modesty

The Honorable Woman

14 Wednesday Sep 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Beautiful Girlhood, Fascinating Womanhood, Modesty, Motherhood

≈ 2 Comments

Painting by Claude Monet

by Father Eric Flood

When we consider men and women, we know God created them equal as being human, but with differences to fulfill Divine roles.God endowed each gender with necessary capabilities, and for women, this meant gifting them with a womb to bear children.

We can even consider the Feast of the Immaculate Conception as the day the womb of St. Anne reached its perfection, and the Annunciation as the day the womb of Our Lady reached its grandeur.  At the very foundation of every female’s dignity is her capability of being a mother, and from this stems her honor, her value, and why she deserves respect, care, and protection

Let’s take a fruit tree, and examine when does an apple tree reach its full excellence?  As it is growing? in the springtime, when it has blossoms?  Is it not when the tree is full of ripe fruit?

So too a girl.  When does a female reach her fulfillment:  as she is growing as a child? when she enters the springtime of adolescence?  Is it not when she bears fruit and brings a child into the world.

This marvelous ability confided to women, bringing life into the world, requires a body designed by God to not only feed her child, but with the emotional life which is more caring and compassionate.

When a girl grows in her understanding of this honor, her behavior changes, her self-esteem is lifted up, and she places great value upon herself.  It could be said that possibly everything how women are to act and behave differently than men is rooted in their ability to bear children.

As a result, any attempt to downplay the great role of motherhood, any act to thwart her bringing forth life, injures her dignity.  It replaces her exalted ability and her exalted place in society with lesser goals: pleasure, or the pursuit of worldly achievements or recognition.

So all women, whether mothers or not, deserve to be treated in accord with this dignity, and to encourage this attitude towards are females, we will use the assistance of the image of a garden as a fitting analogy to the womb.

There are grand botanical gardens and arboretums throughout the world, displaying beautiful landscapes and plant life.  The myriad of flowers, plants, and trees arranged to radiate with beauty, splendor, and life.  What could have been a simple plot of land – is made pleasing to the eyes after great labor.

Soil needs great care, diligence, and protection to become an elegant garden, and the womb needs great attention and labor to use the fertile ground to yield the great flowers of children.

Each woman, from her childhood, devotes abundant labor into preparing and preserving her garden.  Plowing, cultivating, and removing stones, making sure the weeds of any secular thought of pleasure over purpose do not take root.

Her heart, too, is greatly involves as it learns that love is beyond a good feeling, but is to be genuinely valued for who she is.  There is an aqueduct between the heart and womb, so what the woman perceives about herself – the degree she rightly loves herself and knows she is loved by God – supplies the womb with the nutrition of charity.

In understanding her true worth, she builds a fence around the garden, enclosing it so animals cannot enter and trample the garden.  This wall is what Catholic spiritual writers call modesty.  Extending beyond clothing, as it encompasses behavior, eyes, words, and demeanor.

We find in the original Garden of Eden, the mention of only 3 persons:  Adam, Eve, and God.   So too, in this garden of the woman, the only persons the woman allows are God and the husband.  God, because He has dominion over all He created.

The husband who is given the keys to the gate of the garden on their wedding day, who has the duty to treasure it rightly as a gardener would show towards a beautiful garden.  On her wedding day, it was as if the bride told him:  “I have preserved my garden, it is precious to me, it is committed to your care, it is a place we can now walk together.

We especially implore, the Immaculate Virgin, to have continuous motherly care over our daughters, so that Our Lady, who preserved her integrity to the perfect degree, will inspire all females here the desire to preserve integrity.

For Our Lady, her garden was immaculate, and now the Gardener would not be any man, but God Himself.  His power overshadowed her (Lk. 1:35), and her womb could not be a less beautiful garden than the original Garden of Paradise.

For women, God does not grant such a noble ability of childbearing without expecting it to be treasured.  So He makes it natural for a girl to esteem her ability to bring life into the world, that from the first instance of recognizing the potential within her, a young girl begins to make a comfortable “home” for her children.

There was a boy who gave a hard boiled egg to a 2-year-old girl thinking she would drop it, then he would peel it.  But what was her reaction:  She carefully held the egg, making sure it would not be injured or broken.  A boy probably wouldn’t do this, he would throw it, to see what would happen, but the girl, it is already within her to protect the precious.

We know that a baby girl is born with all the unfertilized eggs she will most likely ever have in life.  Some speculate more may be made later, but it is a scientific fact that she is born with a tremendous number.

God gave her the eggs at birth, as well as the almost immediate instinctive care of them, like the 2 year old towards the hard boiled egg.  This means, from her infancy, she has to protect them; shielding the garden from enemies, fertilizing the soil by a virtuous life.

Obvious, then, is the importance of appropriate instruction as she matures as to the great gift of childbearing confided to her.  When a young lady understands that her value rests upon this, she more quickly acts and behaves in ways which display the awareness of her dignified position in the world.  Her true feminine dignity shines in all she does in daily life.

From the way she conducts herself around others, to her external appearance, she knows what she does either adds or takes away from her grandeur.  This should be cause for women to consider and meditate how their value, beauty, and honor is built upon, not by what in seen in the mirror, but the ability to be a mother.

Your mind, heart, and womb are so united that everything you do, can be seen in the light of bringing children into the world.  This is why people can be more surprised when women use bad language, sit in a chair like men, are overly aggressive in competition.  These forego a certain elegance of one of such tremendous dignity.

This analogy of the womb to a garden also gives a way mothers can teach daughters about the treasure they hold within.  A little girl easily understand the fragility and preciousness of flowers, and the garden-analogy associates an image of something beautiful in the world to something beautiful within.

As she matures and develops this image of a lovely garden over years of your reiterating it, she will be reassured of keeping the garden beautiful for her future husband and children.  It gives a concrete picture of the place her children will one day play, move, and enjoy living; bathing in the sunlight of motherly love.

It is good to also consider the possibility of the woman who has allowed weeds to grow in her garden?  First, just because there are weeds, it doesn’t stop being a garden.

Second, it can become elegant again; it can still be cultivated into a beautiful garden, but much effort will be required.  With the assistance of the all-powerful God beginning with confession, a vastly arrayed garden can soon flourish.

By His masterful workmanship, God turns the soil into a prosperous garden just as easily as when He took earth which “was void and empty” (Gen. 1:2), created many plants and animals, and the earth abounded with an abundance of life and beauty.

Our Lady was honored to provide a garden for Our Lord, and we extol the tremendous privilege confided to each woman here – whether God has blessed you with children or not.

Since your nobility, esteem, and value are rooted in the ability to have children, this is why it is such a sacrifice for women to become nuns and take a vow of chastity out of love for God.  But they are remembered for it… for all eternity:  for the Church has a special category for saintly women, but not a similar one for men, who made the sacrifice of not having children:  Virgins.

And for those mothers whom God asks to bring children into the world, a tremendous sacrifice is required.  Men know it, and sometimes, they don’t know what to say, but to make a joke, but it is not an easy 9 months, nor the months afterwards, nor the years following.  Why stop there, it is the sacrifice of all your life…  and your very life also.

Your children will always be your children.  Your womb, mind, and heart were so united, that even after they leave the womb, they cannot leave the mind and heart.  They are inseparable from you.

We conclude, then, with the obvious:  men know we have to treat a pregnant woman differently:  there is greater care, compassion, and a certain awe.  The challenge before every man and boy is, since you know how to treat a woman when she is pregnant, then strive to treat every female (mother, sister, daughter) the same way you would as if she were pregnant.  Show continual care, protection, and wonderment; hold her up in high esteem for the way God made her.

And not to leave all women and girls unchallenged, strive to view yourself at all times, whether pregnant or not, as having an elegant garden inside from which life comes forth, so that you live and breathe in accord with your exalted position, with grandeur, nobility, and tremendous value.

Even if not pregnant or elderly, you have a garden inside; giving the importance of behaving, dressing, and acting elegantly all the days of your life.

So that when the years of childbearing pass, the finer part of you, remains – your femininity.  Let the world stand in awe of you.  And when the end of the world arrives, you receive your body back, including your womb – your cherished garden – radiant, elegant, a treasure.

Question: If the home is such a powerful factor in the future of the children of a nation, why are such powerful groups in the nation arrayed against the home?
Answer: Precisely because the home is powerful. If it were not an important institution, the enemies of God and of man would leave it alone. Because the people who control the home control the future, because parents are the first representatives of God on earth, because within the home is the hope of morality . . . . for these reasons the men who wish to control the future, who hate God, and who would for their own selfish purposes wipe out morality attack the home openly or subtly.
-Fr. Daniel A. Lord, S.J.. Questions People Ask About Their Children, 1950’s

 

Coloring Pages for your children….



Doilies by Rosie! These are beautiful, lacy, handmade doilies made with size 10 crochet cotton. They have been blocked and starched and are ready to decorate and accent your home decor. “The quality & workmanship of this crocheted doily is suburb! And the beauty even more so–I am so happy to be able to purchase a handmade doily just as lovely as my grandma used to make…” Available here.



In With God in Russia, Ciszek reflects on his daily life as a prisoner, the labor he endured while working in the mines and on construction gangs, his unwavering faith in God, and his firm devotion to his vows and vocation. Enduring brutal conditions, Ciszek risked his life to offer spiritual guidance to fellow prisoners who could easily have exposed him for their own gains. He chronicles these experiences with grace, humility, and candor, from his secret work leading mass and hearing confessions within the prison grounds, to his participation in a major gulag uprising, to his own “resurrection”—his eventual release in a prisoner exchange in October 1963 which astonished all who had feared he was dead.

Powerful and inspirational, With God in Russia captures the heroic patience, endurance, and religious conviction of a man whose life embodied the Christian ideals that sustained him…..

Captured by a Russian army during World War II and convicted of being a “Vatican spy,” Jesuit Father Walter J. Ciszek spent 23 agonizing years in Soviet prisons and the labor camps of Siberia. Only through an utter reliance on God’s will did he manage to endure the extreme hardship. He tells of the courage he found in prayer–a courage that eased the loneliness, the pain, the frustration, the anguish, the fears, the despair. For, as Ciszek relates, the solace of spiritual contemplation gave him an inner serenity upon which he was able to draw amidst the “arrogance of evil” that surrounded him. Ciszek learns to accept the inhuman work in the infamous Siberian salt mines as a labor pleasing to God. And through that experience, he was able to turn the adverse forces of circumstance into a source of positive value and a means of drawing closer to the compassionate and never-forsaking Divine Spirit.

He Leadeth Me is a book to inspire all Christians to greater faith and trust in God–even in their darkest hour. As the author asks, “What can ultimately trouble the soul that accepts every moment of every day as a gift from the hands of God and strives always to do his will?”

 

 

Practical Tips on Modesty

07 Tuesday Jun 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in by Leane Vdp, Modesty

≈ 6 Comments

by Leane VanderPutten

Today I’d like to talk a little bit about some of the practical aspects of living a modest lifestyle. You may also like to watch this video of my own thoughts on Modesty and also my Modesty Journey…

And here is my daughter, Rosie’s post on Modesty.

Before I get into the Practical Tips of Modesty, I just want to say a word about sewing…

You may not be a sew-er. A couple of my girls are, the rest…not really. But we have a sewing machine and the girls at home can sit down and sew a seam if they want to.

Thrift shops are our friend but oftentimes we need to let down a hem or add lace to a sleeve.

Sewing is not as complicated as learning how to use a cell phone, so it is something that is worthwhile learning. Even just the basics. In your modesty journey, a sewing machine is very helpful.

I have watched my oldest daughter, Virginia, take some curtains that she found at our favorite thrift store and turn it into a lovely skirt. When we need 3 or 4 inches added to a skirt, she always has material around to help in that area.

She gets sheets to line her aprons, lace and lovely vintage buttons to embellish her creations, and so much more! This makes it fun and exciting!

Sewing also helps if you have a more uncommon shape as a girl/woman.

OK, onto some practical tips…

PRACTICAL TIPS:

Six things to ponder…

1.        You know the saying…I wear my heart on my sleeve? Well, we wear our hearts on the clothes we wear. We really do. So, What do the clothes I wear say about where my heart is??

2.       When I go to choose an outfit for the day, am I choosing an outfit to attract attention in the wrong way to those around me? Am I seeking to impress Our Lord with the clothing I wear today….always with dignity and a touch of class.

3.       Is what I wear consistent with Our Lady’s values of modesty, self-control and respectable apparel, or does my dress reveal an inordinate identification and fascination with sinful cultural values?

4.       Who am I trying to identify with through my dress? Is the Church, the Fathers, Tradition and Our Lady my standard or is it the latest fashion?

5.         Have I sought out other godly persons to help me decide an outfit if I am struggling whether it is modest enough?

6.         The clothing I wear….could someone look at me and know that I am a woman of morals, of faith, of integrity. Or does my clothing contradict this profession of faith?

“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart.

A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshiping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually?

A woman who focuses on worshiping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.” John MacArthur

Blouses and Tops:

CAMISOLES OR TANK TOPS

Camisoles are wonderful. We make much use out of them to put under our tops. They can help make a see-through top modest, and a top that is too low-cut suddenly is just fine. They can also help to keep the material on top of the camisole, your outer garment, too clingy.

You do have to be careful, though. You don’t want to get the spaghetti strap camisole and then have a see through top as the straps look like underwear anyway and expose too much of the back. But if see-through is not the issue, then a spaghetti strap camisole is fine IF it is high enough. If it isn’t then pin those straps to your bra.

You can look at camisoles here.

Personally I like to wear what I call a shell or tank top. They are sleeveless but not spaghetti straps. They cover more and usually come up more in the front. If you find the shell is too low, we have also worn with the back in the front. The back always come up higher. And since a lot of these shells don’t have tags on the back, just a bit of writing on the inside, this can work fine, too.

You can look at tank tops here.

Sometimes you can just use mock clip on camisoles if it is just the neckline you are trying to make more modest.My girls have done this. You can get them on Amazon or Ebay

Mock Camisoles can be found here.

Your underlay….the camisoles or shells may be a bit low. Do pin them so they don’t ride down during the day. If the girls forget to do this I am constantly reminding them to pull up their undershirt. What good is it if it is always riding down?

LIGHT, SEE THROUGH COMPLETE OVERLAYS:

We have a favorite Thrift Shop…it’s called God’s Storehouse…very fitting. There we have purchased several light, flowy, feminine, tops that are so light they go right over a t-shirt and don’t add a lot of bulk. Some of My girls love this look and with the t-shirt underneath it is perfectly modest. And the overlays can be quite pretty. Because they are more of a flowy cut one does not have to worry about clingy or tight.

I realize that you may think this is too hot for the summertime and I understand. One thing I have found, though, is that you can get quite used to a little more bulk. I never thought this was possible myself. We live in Kansas and it, too, is hot. I have found through the years that I can put up with a light layer and it doesn’t bug me like it used to. I am from Canada and the heat really gets to me!

BLOUSES

Also, just a lovely, short sleeve cotton blouse that is not see through is a good choice for the summer. I don’t button my top button but if the next button is a bit too low (remember the two-finger rule under the collar bone) I use a safety pin…always! Remember…safety pins are your friends!

Here’s a little tutorial on how to change a longer sleeve blouse into a short one….

Remember, though, that a blouse that is too tight is just that…too tight. Scrap it. How do we tell?

A shirt that shows tension folds at the bust area is too tight. Also, if the material pulls in right under the bust area…not good. There should be a natural flow between that area and your tummy area.

SLEEVES

Sleeves need to be longer than just a cap sleeve. You don’t want to be showing off your armpits…either with too short of a sleeve…or too flouncy.

LAYERING

In the winter time, layering is fun and very useful. You can wear those long sleeve t-shirts (and there are a multitude of colors available) with a vest over top, a nice lacy layer (light lace or a heavier knit), your complete flowy blouse overlay, etc. Scarves are wonderful for smoothing things out and covering up. I wouldn’t use a scarf, necessarily, for covering a low neck unless it was pinned in place. Scarves move around and aren’t always a good choice for that.

AVOID T-SHIRTS BECAUSE THEY TEND TO CLING TO ALL THE WRONG PLACES.

But…If I have a knit shirt that isn’t necessarily too tight but I may feel is drawing too much attention to the chest part, a scarf cuts that up pretty good and distracts from that area.

Once again, though, too tight is just too tight and needs to go…

Also, Don’t wear t-shirts with writing on them. It is like a billboard that your eyes are drawn to.

OVERLAYS WITH BROOCH OR SHAWL PINS

I like to use brooches to pin my overlays together in the front. And we have just discovered shawl pins that allows a little bit of room so you don’t have to pull that overlay together completely. They also are very pretty and work better than an actual brooch, in my opinion.

I really like these clips because they don’t put a hole in your garment. They are available here.

We use these shawl pins, too. Available here.

These pretty pearl shawl pins are available here.

DRESSES

NOT CLINGY OR TIGHT

Once again, knits can be clingy…but not all knits. So do try on those dresses before you buy them. You don’t want them tight.

The girls will often ask me when they come downstairs dressed to watch them walk so they know whether that skirt/dress clings too much. If it does, the skirt or dress goes out or they wear a longer overlay to compensate.

TOO SHORT

Dresses and skirts are too short if they don’t cover your knees when you sit down. I remember a good nun who was teaching class to her all-girl students…when the girl’s legs were up or her dress was too short, she would scold them saying she could see her “kingdom come”. We got the point.

My thought is….at least 4 inches past the knee. Really, it is much more elegant to wear a longer dress or skirt. That’s the way I see it…even on a natural level.

SWIMSUITS

with a little help from Modesty Matters by Pam Hardy

Let’s talk about swimsuits. Basically a swimsuit these days cover the same area of the body that your undergarments do. Let me ask you this? Would you go around wearing your underwear. I don’t think so.  Yet, women (and men) do all the time when they are swimming.

Here’s a bit of a tidbit….

In 1922, if you wore what today would be considered a very modest one-piece swimsuit you would have been arrested for indecent exposure (Jeff Pollard, Christian Modesty and the Public Undressing of America).  That is how much the standard has been lowered in our society, in the last 80 years.

I know many good girls who would say this, “You know when you get really honest, there is no such thing as a modest swimsuit.”  I have to agree.

Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t go swimming. But it may not be quite as easy as the girl who just dons her one-piece or two piece bathing suit. That’s OK. It’s worth it.

Today there are many things to choose from online that are becoming more and more trendy for the girl who want to cover more than the average swimmer.

For us, we have had our bathing suits made. I don’t have any pictures….at least I couldn’t find any…so here is kind of what they look like. We make our skirts longer.

You can also do research online to find some good examples. Then if you are handy with the sewing machine you can make yourself one…or hire someone else to do it. It will be an investment well worth the money you spend on it.

Let’s make the effort to be modest when we swim. Will you look different than others? You bet! And that’s a good thing. Hold your head high…not in haughtiness…but in knowing you are making an effort to please God. And that is enough.

DRESSING MODESTLY IS COMFORTABLE…

Let’s face it. Being modest can work for us as far as covering up those things we are self-conscious about….and we look like beautiful feminine women…by covering up! More comfortable in that way..yes!

Also, looser fitting clothing is definitely more comfortable than tight-fitting clothing. Back in the day, I had friends who would get their jeans out of the dryer and literally have to lie on the bed to do the zippers up. They would shrink a bit during the laundering process and since they were skin tight, they were hard to get on! Sounds like a straight jacket to me…not too comfy!

Things that constrict movement are not very comfortable!

Wrapping it up…

When it comes to modesty, women have a responsibility (Men do, too, but this is not a men’s article):

  • Women must dress modestly and not be afraid to spread that good news with humility and charity.
  • Mothers need to teach their daughters to dress modestly at a very young age. You cannot allow immodesty and all of a sudden expect them to be modest at a magical age. Talk to your daughters about modesty, not in an unpleasant, condemning way…but in a bright and positive light. Make it pleasurable for them to dress modestly by allowing them to sew, or just shop for nice clothes.

When you dress modestly, what are the results?  God and Our Lady are very pleased and you are a good example, an inspiration and an encouragement to others. You will have a clear conscience because you will not be a stumbling block to the men around you.

Remember our ultimate goal is to please God. In turn He will give us a peace and happiness…

For a list of Stores That Sell Modest Clothing see this post on Beauty So Ancient.

Swimsuits:

PLACES TO SHOP

Modli

Hydrochic

Dressing for His Glory

WHAT TO LOOK FOR ONLINE:

Sunsuits for girls

Surfsuits Rashguard – covers the top

Micosuza Women’s Skirted Swim Capris

Look for Jewish or Israeli modest swimwear

Micosuza swimsuit for women

Freestyle Swim Skirt Surf Tops

 

Alice von Hildebrand – “St. Francis de Sales tells us that pious women should be well-dressed, but this doesn’t mean they must become slaves of fashion. There’s a way of dressing which is attractive, even elegant, but at the same time modest and simple. More importantly, attractiveness shouldn’t be reserved for guests and those you meet outside the home, while you ‘let yourself go’ when you’re at home. The moment a couple marries, they should begin to try always to be at their best for each other, physically (and above all) spiritually.”

Here is a simple outline to ensure we are carrying out our daily duties as best we can on this road we travel as Catholic women. This is my own list of what I deem the basics of a successful day. It is an ideal I strive for. You may have your own plan, and I hope you do. If this can help in any way, then I have accomplished my goal with this video…

This journal is for the single lady who is in the interim before finding her vocation in life. At this very important crossroad in life, this journal can help with discipline, inspiration and encouragement.

All of the quotes deal with a young lady’s time in life….whether it is courtship, religious vocations, modesty and just a better spiritual life in general. A form of Morning and Night Prayers that I have used personally through the years is included at the beginning of the Journal.

This 30~day journal is a tool that will help the young woman to be disciplined in the next 30 days to write down positive, thankful thoughts. It will help her focus on the true and lovely by thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people she is grateful for, etc., as she awaits the time her vocation is made manifest to her.

NOW is the time to improve our lives!

Available here.




 

This booklet contains practical advice on the subjects of dating and choosing a spouse from the Catholic theological viewpoint. Father Lovasik points out clearly what one’s moral obligations are in this area, providing an invaluable aid to youthful readers. Additionally, he demonstrates that Catholic marriage is different from secular marriage and why it is important to choose a partner who is of the Catholic Faith if one would insure his or her personal happiness in marriage. With the rampant dangers to impurity today, with the lax moral standards of a large segment of our society, with divorce at epidemic levels, Clean Love in Courtship will be a welcome source of light and guidance to Catholics serious about their faith.

A Frank, Yet Reverent Instruction on the Intimate Matters of Personal Life for Young Men. To our dear and noble Catholic youths who have preserved, or want to recover, their purity of heart, and are minded to retain it throughout life. For various reasons many good fathers of themselves are not able to give their sons this enlightenment on the mysteries of life properly and sufficiently. They may find this book helpful in the discharge of their parental responsibilities in so delicate a matter.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

 

 

My Little Story of Modesty ~ Rosie VanderPutten

27 Wednesday Apr 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Modesty

≈ 12 Comments

This is our daughter, Rosie’s, talk on Modesty that she gave to a group of ladies a year ago….

Hello everyone, I am Rosie, and I am 23 years old. I am the eldest at home right now.

At the present time, I work as a painter on a crew for my brother-in-law, Mike. I work side-by-side with my two brothers and my dad.

The days I am not painting I spend working for my married sisters, house cleaning for an elderly lady, and doing parish work. I also do most of the gardening and landscaping at home along with having many hobbies which keeps me very, very busy… my life is so extremely full!

As a young woman growing up doing my best to dress and act in the way that would reflect my femininity and faith, I do understand the difficulties and struggles that come with being so counter-cultural.

I know I have had it easier than most, in the fact that I have been raised from a young girl to appreciate modesty in dress and comportment, along with understanding the reasons for my efforts.

A lot of you are probably just starting on your modesty journey and I just wanted to say that in speaking today I am just giving some of my own experiences and thoughts on this topic. I know that all of us have different struggles and difficulties in this area. Today I pray I can help in some way to make your journey a bit easier.

So, I wanted to share with you some of the many benefits that have come from our method of dress, and also what I have observed from my own upbringing and that of my younger sisters and nieces, who are being taught to embrace the methods of dressing that we were raised with.

I come from a large family, with many girls, that have always been extremely active! We were animal and vegetable farmers for most of my upbringing along with loving sports and the outdoors and working side-by-side with my dad doing construction, roofing, scrapping, plumbing, and, you name it, we’ve probably done it!

All of us, even we girls, were taught to work, and work hard, and to use our own instincts to fix something or solve a problem. When Dad gave us a job to do, he rarely explained to us how we were to do it, but just left us to figure it out for ourselves….knowing we would come up with a solution.

He trusted us with that and it worked…most of the time. I’ll never forget the time I was so proud of myself because I hot-wired one of our garage lights because it wasn’t working and when I flipped the switch…it came on! I couldn’t believe it!

We also played hard…Climbing trees, playing soccer or volley ball, jumping on the trampoline, riding four-wheelers and horses, etc. In all of our activity, be it roofing, driving four-wheelers or otherwise we girls did everything in skirts, and were careful to keep our femininity intact.  .

Has it been easy? To be honest, we didn’t even think about it because it was just a way of life.  When you have guidelines that you have been lovingly raised to follow, when you understand the whys and wherefores of those guidelines, any other method of dress just wasn’t even an option.

So, the hardships that did and do arise are just part of life and we work with them. There were steps we had to take with our dress depending on our activities though…

From my own experience I would say one of the best ways to instill in girls an understanding and love of modesty is to start very young.

Mom tried her best to always have us wear leggings or shorts under our skirts. Being wild little girls who loved to climb trees and jump on the trampoline, our skirts could be more indecent than wearing pants, so the legging were the solutions.

That doesn’t mean that just because we were wearing leggings under our skirts that we weren’t told, when we were seen sitting with our skirts up or all over the place, to sit like a lady, which meant, put your legs down and pull your skirt over your knees. Our awareness of modesty was already being instilled in us. Even if we were too young to understand why.

It wasn’t made into a big deal, but it was enough that when we hit a certain age it was just habit to keep that skirt below the knees, our legs together, etc. because we knew that that was the proper thing to do.

Things became more difficult as we got older. Our shape was changing, our curves became more prominent and things became too tight, too short, or too low and you just couldn’t be quite as carefree as before. I could never be more grateful for my mom and dad’s guidance during those years.

We were taught that to dress modestly was an honor and something to be proud of. Mom told us the guidelines we had to follow. She also explained to us at a young age the reasons we make the efforts in our dress that we do and the benefits of it.

She taught us that in dressing modestly we were showing respect for ourselves and for those around us, but most importantly we are making the effort to be as close to Mary-like as possible.

We weren’t extreme but we have tried to dress in a way that would be pleasing to God. I do believe that having a clear understand of the purpose and reasonings for dressing modestly helped us to embrace it more fully.

I’m not saying we never pushed the line on the boundaries that we were given, because we did. All of us went through our stage of trying to get away with, just a little tight, or just a little short. It is always hard when you find a beautiful skirt or shirt that you just love at a thrift store and it’s just a bit too short. Or your weight fluctuates and you have to modify your wardrobe because things don’t fit as they did before.

My mom tried to avoid confrontation as much as possible, so she was not over-the-top. She did not nitpick and would be right there with us “ooo”ing and “ahhh”ing over a nice outfit. If it needed work to make it modest she would be helping us figure out a solution.

So, when she did say something about our outfit as to its unsuitability, we normally took it pretty well. Yes, we would grumble or complain a little, but in the long run that skirt or shirt went to one of the smaller girls or into the giveaway. It was those moments that helped make us stronger.

There were a couple times that I can remember though, where mom didn’t like an article of clothing that one of us had but we just couldn’t part with it. Of course it wasn’t terrible, but it did cut the line just a little. We wore it a couple of times and then it just disappeared. Eventually we figured out that while Mom was doing laundry that piece of clothing just happened to make its way into the garbage…

A lot of you are probably struggling with the transition to dressing more femininely and modestly. I can imagine your difficulty. It is not easy to change a mode of life that is such a part of you especially when most likely everyone around you is dressing just as you have for years.

One thing I hear girls bring up a lot in conversation is sports. Well, let me just say that if it is a sport that you absolutely cannot play while dressing modestly, then, as a lady, you probably shouldn’t be playing it.

As I mentioned, we grew up playing sports, and we are all very competitive. No, we don’t play tackle football, but a lot of times our soccer games turned into tackle soccer… We don’t find that our skirts hinder our playing at all.. For the most part let us at that ball and we are good to go!

Just recently we were playing soccer at our church with a few deacons that were visiting and one of them told one of the girls of our parish that if he can play soccer in a cassock than it shouldn’t be too hard to play in a skirt!

Now I know he was just ribbing her a bit, but it’s true. Our deacons and priests play basketball, volley ball, soccer, even for tournaments, all while wearing the cassock.  I know it’s inconvenient and probably very hot at times, but they have made a commitment to wearing that cassock, so they make it work. They make that sacrifice.

We’ve even got it easier than our priests. Our skirts don’t have to hit the floor. It’s the same with riding horses, etc. Wear yoga pants, longer shorts or leggings under your skirt and just be careful to keep your skirts from flying up.

Others have mentioned the work place and how they stick out or get ridiculed. I know that if your job demands you to wear pants than there are guidelines for that too, but, I work on a crew of just guys in the midst of many other crews of men.

Thankfully those I’m actually working with are family, but I am the only girl in the midst of many men and do you think I stick out? Well, yes I do. I wear my skirt and do my hair every day, and if you can believe it, for the most part the reactions I have received from other workers have been positive.

The way I am dressed tells the men that just because I am working with the guys doesn’t mean I am one of them and so they are more careful when I am around. I know I have been saved from a lot of crass language and comments because of it.

Yes, I’ve definitely gotten my  funny looks and a comment or two, but if you can look past that and see the positive impression you are making towards most, you would know that it’s so worth it!

When I go out shopping with my sisters it is quite surprising the amount of looks we receive. We actually find it kind of fun! We will get all gussied up and then go walking into each store with our heads held high and a smile on our face. We receive many different reactions, but it always makes our efforts worth it when you see those few faces just light up when they see you.

Your joy and femininity gives people hope that there is something bright and beautiful out there!

Not long ago I went shopping with my mom. I had to run into Walmart and on my way out there was a middle-aged gentleman headed right for me and he looked like he was on a mission. I kind of paused and he came right up to me, stopped, and said, “Young lady, you look beautiful!” I was a bit taken aback at first but then I told him, “Thank you so much!” You can imagine the boost that gave me.

Do you think he would have made the effort to say that if I had been wearing jeans or sweat pants and a tank top? I was told I looked beautiful or pretty twice in town that day and it just reminds me that in a small way my efforts are making a difference.

We girls also look out for each other. We have our own method of getting our points across without drawing attention. If one of us has a shirt that is gaping or too low, it only takes that special look from one of the girls to let us know.

It’s the same if our skirts have ridden up or too much leg is showing. That look says it all. If our slip is showing. We are told that we are snowing down south or if our neck is too low, our boat is sinking. It is a very natural thing to inform each other of wardrobe malfunctions and it is very helpful in keeping us aware, as well as very annoying at times! 🙂

Ladies, be proud of your efforts! You are the ones making a difference! You are beautiful and you can emphasize that by the respect you show yourself in your modesty of dress and bearing.

However, there is good news: women can dress attractively to interest men who will notice first her head and her heart. Then what follows will more likely be a respectful, enduring relationship. The goal is to conceal, not reveal. The artistic eye of a good clothing designer can help by providing clothing that sends this signal: I am beautiful – inside and out. ~ Anne Kootz

Painting by Sheri Dinardi

The 3rd sermon on the series on modesty. The subject of this one is clothing. Father quotes Cardinal Siri & speaks of our current culture regarding clothing.

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New Podcast ~ Femininity & Modesty Talk

25 Monday Apr 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Modesty, Podcasts - Finer Femininity

≈ 1 Comment

NEW PODCAST!

We must realize that building back to traditional values starts, first, in ourselves and in our homes. Which, in turn, will affect our communities and society in general. And our dress is a powerful means to do just that! It IS like a billboard saying, “There is still something beautiful, noble and good in this world, and it is worth living for…

🌸“Boys and girls must be taught as tiny tots to love modesty. Even though they are too young to sin, they can and ought to be impressed with the beauty of modesty. Training in modesty is pre-eminently the function of the home, to be begun from earliest childhood.” -Archbishop Meyer of Milwaukee

Subscribe to my Youtube channel here.

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Lovely Quotes & Tea~Time With Finer Femininity (Addendum) ~ Why We Wear Dresses

18 Monday Oct 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in Inspiring Quotes, Modesty, Tea-Time With FinerFem - Questions/My Answers

≈ 6 Comments

Here are some lovely quotes for your encouragement and inspiration. Following is an Addendum to the Tea~Time With Finer Femininity from the other day….

Friendships in the family require care and culture—as do other friendships. We must win one another’s love inside the home doors just as we win the love of outside friends. We must prove ourselves worthy; we must show ourselves unselfish, self forgetful, thoughtful, and kind, tender, patient, helpful. Then when we have won each other we must keep the treasure of affection and confidence, just as we do in the case of friends not in the sacred circle of home. -J.R. Miller

Domestic Queens are not ordinary run-of-the-mill women. They add homey touches to their work with things that please the senses and make a person feel welcome and loved. A warmth of spirit permeates her household as if you walked in from clouds to a bright sunny day. She radiates understanding, love and happiness and makes the home a place her man wants to come home to. -Fascinating Womanhood http://amzn.to/2oRS2Nm (afflink)

“There is nothing insignificant in the life which we live within our own doors. There is nothing which is without influence in the building up of character. . Let no one think that the history of any day in the life of a home, is not recorded imperishably on the sensitive lives of the children.” -J.R. MIller

Alice von Hildebrand – “St. Francis de Sales tells us that pious women should be well-dressed, but this doesn’t mean they must become slaves of fashion. There’s a way of dressing which is attractive, even elegant, but at the same time modest and simple. More importantly, attractiveness shouldn’t be reserved for guests and those you meet outside the home, while you ‘let yourself go’ when you’re at home. The moment a couple marries, they should begin to try always to be at their best for each other, physically (and above all) spiritually.” The Privilege of Being a Woman, http://amzn.to/2p2Oyrr (afflink)

“There is, however, a second class of saints, ordinary saints. Bear in mind that these saints are no less saints than the others; they are true saints and have reached exalted heights of sanctity, though in a different way. They lead humble, simple lives, performing their daily duties well and using the ordinary but abundant means of sanctity given by God to all Christians. These means we too can use, and by them we can attain a high degree of holiness.” -Rev. Fr. Paul O’Sullivan, An Easy Way To Become A Saint, 1947 http://amzn.to/2fduYWW (afflink)

“Never be ashamed of your home or family because it is humble. People who look down on those whose home is humble and who lack social prominence are not worthy of the friendship of decent families. The most important things in life are character, honest work, humility, loyalty, friendliness, and love.” -Fr. Lovasik, Catholic Family Handbook http://amzn.to/2y7iaFI (afflink)

There will be lives only if there are mothers, mothers who respond to their essential and divine vocation. “Give me, O my God, the grace through respect for You and for Your work, always to have a devotion to and a respect for life.. Grant me also the grace to be in Your Hands a not too unworthy instrument of Your creative power. Let me be ‘up-to-date’ whenever it is a question of enrolling a new name in the Book of Life.” – Christ in the Home, http://amzn.to/2mpCpcV Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J., 1950’s (afflink)

Given unconditional love, boundaries to live by, and a Faith to cherish, your children will blossom. They will know that no matter how bad things may be on the outside there is a place of hope and acceptance with family. -Finer Femininity

“The Sacrament of our marriage will impart to us the graces necessary to keep our good resolutions. How few understand this Sacrament! How few prepare themselves for it and expect to receive from it the graces it can give to those who seek them worthily.” – Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J., Christ in the Home http://amzn.to/2f0NuOy (afflink)

Tea~Time With Finer Femininity

This is an addendum to this post.

I get questions from you now and again and I think the answers could be beneficial to others and so I have posted them here….I have changed some words to protect anonymity.

Disclaimer: If in doubt with anything I say, please check with your spiritual director. He knows you and your situation and has the grace of state to advise you.

Question: What is the reason you and your daughters wear dresses vs. slacks? I think it’s wonderful but would like to know the thoughts behind it. Thank you.

Answer: Thank you for your question and well, since you asked…

I am not a confrontational person…at least I don’t think I am. So I would like to be able to say that what a woman wears is a personal choice, it is up to them. But, I think all of us would have to admit, this is not true in so many spheres of the moral order. What we do (and what we wear) affects those around us…greatly! Especially our men, when it comes to our clothing. So here is why we don’t wear slacks…

Pants accentuates our curves. It’s as simple as that. A skirt is more modest and concealing, (provided the woman/girl is wearing a modest skirt).

They are also more feminine. This is what Father Ripperger has to say:

While it is not sinful for a woman to wear pants, nevertheless it is more perfect or virtuous for a woman to wear a dress rather than pants. It more perfectly fits her as a woman. It is more feminine. Therefore it is more modest because it is more decorous.

I remember reading an article about the Latin Mass. It said that the liturgy will actually form who we are, if we give it enough time. The more we attend, the more It will change us on the inside..

Well, I feel the same way about our dress.

There is a saying….

“The body is the shell of the soul, and the dress the husk of that shell. But the husk often tells what the kernel is.”

What is that saying to us? Our externals matter. Our husk, our clothing, reveals who we are on the inside. And on the reverse, our mode of dressing, will work to change us intimately, too.

The virtuous person will manifest this virtue through the use of proper dress.

From Cardinal Siri, 1960:

The clothes a person wears conditions, determines and modifies that person’s gestures, attitudes and behavior such that from merely being worn on the outside, clothing comes to impose a particular frame of mind on the inside. So when a person changes their dress it will change how that person views her self image. On the converse of that, if she has a distorted self-image it will be manifested in her dress.

Fr. Ripperger:

Women who go back to dressing like women find an inner change which occurs within them. They feel more feminine. Which is a good thing…femininity is a perfection proper to a woman. And those perfections are very admirable.

I believe and have experienced this myself, that when we, as women, dress like women, we will change. We will become more feminine in what we do, the way we walk, the activities we take part in, the way we think. This is good. We will see a very positive change in ourselves. We will also see a positive change in how others treat us.

Another important tidbit was something I read quite a bit later along my modesty journey.  And it served to reinforce in me and my girls our decision as a family. It was this…

From Dressing With Dignity:

Advertising agencies quickly prepared marketing research to find out the reaction of men to a woman wearing pants. Do you know what they found? Using newly developed technology, they tracked the path that a man’s eyes take when looking at a woman in pants.

They found that when a man looked at a woman in pants from the back, he looked directly at her bottom. When he looked at a woman wearing pants from the front, advertisers found that his eyes dropped directly to a woman’s most private and intimate area. Not her face! Not her chest!

Advertisers figured out a long time ago how to apply Gestalt psychology and the Law of Closure (Humans tend to enclose a space by completing a contour and ignoring gaps in the figure) and the Law of Good Continuation (Humans tend to continue contours whenever the elements of the pattern establish an implied direction) when devising advertising that is aimed at men.

Gracious, what does all of that mean? It means that the eye will follow a line, and a viewer will complete the picture with his or her imagination.

Advertisers know that the same holds true when a man views a woman wearing slacks or a skirt with slits. Men’s eyes will follow the lines right up her legs and finish the picture in their imagination.

Women’s eyes may do the same thing, but since women don’t have the same type of temptations, their imaginations don’t complete the picture in the same way as men’s do.

Because we have raised our girls in dresses, this negative aspect of why we dress modestly is not something we dwell on too much.  We don’t think about it…dressing this way is part of who we are. And we like to focus on the positive aspects of wearing dresses. There are so many…

Consistently wearing dresses may seem over-the-top to many these days. And that’s okay. The rewards are great! (And every one of my daughters and daughters-in-law will attest to that!)

 

Cardinal Siri wrote a strong article in support of dresses for women. The article is here.

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My Disclaimer: This book is, in general, appropriate for ages 14 and up. There are some articles on purity in courtship, etc. These do not go into graphic detail but you are the only ones to decide if it is good timing. I would let my own 14 year old read it. If she came up with questions, good. I would answer them. Ignorance is not innocence.

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This booklet contains practical advice on the subjects of dating and choosing a spouse from the Catholic theological viewpoint. Father Lovasik points out clearly what one’s moral obligations are in this area, providing an invaluable aid to youthful readers. Additionally, he demonstrates that Catholic marriage is different from secular marriage and why it is important to choose a partner who is of the Catholic Faith if one would insure his or her personal happiness in marriage. With the rampant dangers to impurity today, with the lax moral standards of a large segment of our society, with divorce at epidemic levels, Clean Love in Courtship will be a welcome source of light and guidance to Catholics serious about their faith.

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A Frank, Yet Reverent Instruction on the Intimate Matters of Personal Life for Young Men. To our dear and noble Catholic youths who have preserved, or want to recover, their purity of heart, and are minded to retain it throughout life. For various reasons many good fathers of themselves are not able to give their sons this enlightenment on the mysteries of life properly and sufficiently. They may find this book helpful in the discharge of their parental responsibilities in so delicate a matter.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

New Podcast! 5 Tips on Modest Summer Blouses

26 Thursday Aug 2021

Posted by Leanevdp in by Leane Vdp, Modesty, Podcasts - Finer Femininity

≈ 8 Comments

A little encouragement in your search for modest blouses for the hot weather (it’s still hot here in Kansas) along with a little tutorial on shortening and hemming your blouse sleeves…

If I am not capable of great things, I will not become discouraged, but I will do the small things! Sometimes, because we are unable to do great things, heroic acts, we neglect the small things that are available to us and which are, moreover, so fruitful for our spiritual progress and are such a source of joy: “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful over a few things, I will now trust you with greater. Come and share your Master’s joy.” (Matthew 25:21) -Fr. Jacques Philippe, Searching For and Maintaining Peace https://amzn.to/2WcepLs (afflink)

Painting by Jim Daly

Coloring pages for your children….



Author Mary Reed Newland here draws on her own experiences as the mother of seven to show how the classic Christian principles of sanctity can be translated into terms easily applied to children even to the very young.

Because it’s rooted in experience, not in theory, nothing that Mrs. Newland suggests is impossible or extraordinary. In fact, as you reflect on your experiences with your own children, you’ll quickly agree that hers is an excellent commonsense approach to raising good Catholic children.

Fr. Lawrence Lovasik, the renowned author of The Hidden Power of Kindness, gives faithful Catholics all the essential ingredients of a stable and loving Catholic marriage and family — ingredients that are in danger of being lost in our turbulent age.

Using Scripture and Church teachings in an easy-to-follow, step-by-step format, Fr. Lovasik helps you understand the proper role of the Catholic father and mother and the blessings of family. He shows you how you can secure happiness in marriage, develop the virtues necessary for a successful marriage, raise children in a truly Catholic way, and much more.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

 

A Fashion Show….Meet Virginia!

26 Thursday Apr 2018

Posted by Leanevdp in FF Tidbits, Modesty

≈ 4 Comments

This time of the year I like to repost this as inspiration during this sunny, warm-up season!

Since I wrote this post, 5 years ago, Virginia has had 3 more children (she now has eight)….she has 2 girls now which is balm to a sewing mom’s soul….nothing like pretty dresses to fuss over! She has also made scads more outfits that, if I get my act together, I may post in the future.

In the meantime, it is always fun to look at (and look back at) nice home made clothes… so enjoy!

And if you would like to look at another Fashion Show Post….visit the Spring Fashion Show here.

Who says you can’t be modest and cute at the same time!?

My oldest daughter, Virginia (known by most as Gin) is an excellent seamstress and likes to make clothes for herself, her sisters, her 4 little boys….and now her little girl!

Virginia didn’t take any lessons except my own rudimentary ones as she was growing up. She took off with it and it is now one of her passions and we all benefit from it! 🙂

We are very spoiled. If we need a new outfit for something and are willing to foot the bill for the material and pattern, Gin will whip it out for us! We try to keep it at a minimum. It’s not like she has nothing to do except sit around, read and sip tea!! 😀

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The following pictures are of her sewing room and her handy-dandy Bernina sewing machine. Her in-laws bought her a refurbished one for her wedding. Click on the first picture of each group of photos to see the whole gallery (there are 4 galleries so don’t miss them!!).   GALLERY 1:

On this side of the wall is the children’s play room. So Gin can sew and watch the kids at the same time.


And here are some pictures of the recent clothing she has made. She was a little reticent to be the model but I talked her into it! The other girls didn’t mind at all. Girls will be girls, you know. They always love a fashion show! GALLERY 2:





Sheesh…always sneaking in where he’s not supposed to!




This is a maternity dress. Gin embroidered on the collar. Looks lovely!


And we can’t forget the recent wedding! Virginia made all the bridesmaid dresses and the flower girl dresses! GALLERY 3:

Our daughter, Theresa’s Wedding 4 years ago. Virginia made most of the dresses.
Our daughter-in-law with her bridesmaids.

Our daughter, Jeanette’s wedding (the recent wedding).
She had all shapes and sizes to work with, and one of the bridesmaids was out of state, so she made the backs adjustable with the ties.


Here are some of the guys. Virginia likes to make fancy vests! GALLERY 4:





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“The first duty of the wife is to study to be in every way she can the companion, the help, and the friend of her husband. Indeed on her capacity to be all this, and her earnest fulfillment of this threefold function depends all the happiness of both their lives, as well as the well-being of the whole family.” –Fr. Bernard O’Reilly, The Mirror of True Womanhood, 1893  (afflink)

 

 

 
 
 

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Elegant Modesty – Anne Kootz

01 Thursday Feb 2018

Posted by Leanevdp in by Anne Kootz, Modesty

≈ 4 Comments

Concise and clear, Anne has some great tips on fashion, with modesty always being the base of an outfit.

Elegant Modesty

by Anne Ross Kootz

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Why We Want It

Young women are particularly focused on their appearance in order to attract men. This is the biggest market for retail clothing! For decades now clothing marketed to women, particularly the teen/college age group, is designed to emphasize the sexual availability of the wearer – not the sexuality, the availability.

Understanding the desire of women to attract men, one must also realize how men think. Women who dress to send the signal of a cheap eyeful, or an easy one-night stand, will attract men who want this. Do these men care what is in the head or the heart of that woman? Unlikely.

However, there is good news: women can dress attractively to interest men who will notice first her head and her heart. Then what follows will more likely be a respectful, enduring relationship. The goal is to conceal, not reveal. The artistic eye of a good clothing designer can help by providing clothing that sends this signal: I am beautiful – inside and out. The designer will use the tools of line, color, contrast, fabric, quantity, coverage, fit, and combination, and situational appropriateness, to draw the eye of the beholder up to the face.

How We Get It

The eye follows line and points of contrast. Clothing that draws the eye up will start with: vertical lines. (This has the advantage of making the wearer appear more slender, as well.) Quantity – of fabric as well as the number of clothing items, will only hint at the feminine shape, rather than reveal the details. Color is used carefully, keeping in mind the woman’s natural coloring.

Use the darker, duller colors below, brightest near the face. Contrast draws the eye as well, so wear colorful jewelry or scarves near the face. Hats are ideal for both drawing the eye up and increasing perceived height.

Additional points include proper fit, allowing for some extra room (not only slenderizes, but is also more comfortable than tight fitting clothing) and fabric – smooth fabrics slenderize, nubby/textured finishes draw the eye and add apparent weight.

Summing it up, how would a “summer” colored woman dress on a pleasant autumn day, when, in addition to a productive lifestyle, she hopes to attract the authentic gentleman with whom she might have a happy future?

  1. Foundation garments – always! – completely concealed by clothing.
  2. Long sleeved knit tee in a color that compliments her face – such as soft aqua.
  3. Midi length (mid-calf) A-line khaki skirt – yes skirt – lends extra grace to her walk, in a compatible neutral – such as medium taupe. This sways gently while walking, and its length continues to conceal when seated.
  4. Pantyhose or knee highs compliment any ankle. In this case, taupe.
  5. Flat shoes – dark brown slip-ons, for example, are comfortable for walking.
  6. Cardigan – color coordinated with the skirt – a similar shade of taupe or cream. This contributes to modest concealment while also adding interest. (Layers also evoke higher economic status.) Sweaters can be worn loosely about the shoulders as the day warms.
  7. Understated makeup and uncluttered hairstyle – adds beauty to the face without drawing attention to itself.
  8. Finishing touches – those European style rayon scarves, or any other silky scarf that coordinates with the turquoise and taupe while adding color and contrast, for example in a paisley pattern for autumn.
  9. To really set yourself above the crowd, a coordinating beret, if weather is cool enough.November 2012 in MO 217

Now What?

What does our young lady do once she has caught the eye of that intriguing young man? She smiles! Now he sees the virtuous, vivacious woman he has been seeking, and is encouraged to say hello!

Frequently Asked Questions

1. OK – great if you have a slender, youthful figure, but I am a bit short and round. What can I do?

Make more use of the vertical line —

  • Instead of A-line skirt, use a straight line version – be sure it has a slit (ending below the knee) for walking comfort.
  • Instead of a high-hip length cardigan, use a longer cardigan that hits around mid thigh, with vertical knit-in ribs
  • Shove the sleeves of the tee and cardigan up (secure with rubber band) to just below the elbow – these folds on the arm have a surprisingly slenderizing effect on the total look!
  • Definitely make use of a beret or decorative headband.

2. What if it is just too hot for a beret and cardigan?

Lighten everything up–

  • keep your layers but modify them for conditions
  • use flat sandals (not tacky flip-flops!) instead of shoes
  • ditch the hosiery, but keep the skirt length – the swish will cool you as you walk.
  • use a lighter weight tee – keep long sleeves (pushed up to elbow.)
  • trade the cardigan for a lightweight woven shirt – open at front for that vertical line
  • trade the beret for a decorative hairband or clip

3. Great ideas – but I don’t have anything like this in my wardrobe, and can’t afford to buy much!

Thrift Stores!

  • Some of my favorites are the Goodwill and Savers.
  • Well organized, well lit, clean, and always a great selection. On my suggestion, my 20 year old son actually found a perfect fit, 3 piece, 3 season taupe worsted wool suit there, $25! (And I was suddenly brilliant.) This kind of place has yielded amazing treasures for me, too.
  • Check White Pages for thrift stores and second-hand stores in your town.
  • eBay is another terrific place to shop for attractive, modest clothing – you can’t try them on, but you can compare posted measurements to be assured of fit. Downside is shipping cost, upside is prices often so low shipping won’t matter much.

4. I work for a pizza restaurant. Have to wear a uniform — polo shirt and pants. How can I be elegantly modest in this work situation?

Check with your owner/manager — he or she may be delighted to accommodate you.

  • Might you use a shirt size that drapes rather than clings? Only top one or two buttons unbuttoned?
  • Might you wear a below-knee khaki skirt in place of pants?
  • If pants are required, use a larger size that covers your derriere somewhat loosely.
  • Would a small scarf loosely knotted around the neck be within standards?
  • A decorative hair band or clip does its usual good work.

5. My hospital work requires scrubs – not at all flattering in color or style. Now what?

  • Make sure the scrubs are loose in the bust line and derriere, in good condition, and highest quality you can afford.
  • Your neat, non-fussy hair style, understated make-up and small earrings are especially important in this situation.
  • A decorative hair band or clip does its usual good work.
  • Add that sunny smile as often as possible to improve your looks as well as brighten a tough day for your patients.

6. What should I do when the weather is really beastly cold?

  • You might still manage a skirt very well, with stretch leggings (dark) under the skirt.
  • Of course, wear warm boots!
  • A rayon or other warm scarf does double duty, as does the hat/beret!
  • Wear gloves or mittens. Warm head and hands provide great comfort in cold weather.

7. Now it’s beastly HOT! How to be modest and cool as possible?

  • Layers are still your best friend. Use ‘breathable’ fabrics such as light cottons and washable silk blends.
  • As dark colors absorb heat (remember your high school science classes?) and light colors repel, so – use the lighter colors in your palette for your layers, and save the darker/brighter ones for accents like earrings and hair accessories.
  • Your mid-calf A-line skirt is again your good friend. It swishes and cools you as you walk!

8. I will be attending a formal dinner and dance. Do all these “rules” still apply?

A basic rule of elegant modesty is dress for the situation.

  • Formal events call for formal fabrics (satin, silk, crepe), and high heels.
  • Find out what the hostess (if any) of the event will be wearing.
  • Floor length formals are always elegant and attractive. Anything else is merely trendy.
  • A slightly lower cut neckline may serve in this case;  to showcase your 16-18″ strand of pearls. (There are also beautiful, inexpensive fakes.)
  • Off the shoulder? You do not need to bare your shoulders for anyone but your husband.
  • If an otherwise perfect formal is bare shouldered, add a cutaway jacket in the same fabric. Otherwise, a long panel or scarf worn about the shoulders is not only modest, but especially elegant.
  • Slit up the side? Never! If the skirt has a generous sweep, there is no need for a slit.
  • Hunt for modest formals on eBay or CraigsList, for example, with ‘mother of bride’ as search words.
  • See my suggested links for other online stores that feature elegantly modest formal wear.
  • Like Finer Femininity on Facebookdsc02118

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“Blessed is the home where unkind speech does not enter, nor cursing, nor bad literature, nor intemperance, for on that home will be heaped the blessings of peace.” – Fr. Lawrence Lovasik
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Catholic Mother Goose! Available here.

Who can resist those little ditties, those lovely little sing-song verses called Nursery Rhymes! Songs and rhymes for young children have been passed down from generation to generation. They are fun, children love them, and they provide a warm, nurturing experience for the whole family.

This book gives us some lovely rhymes that can, and should, be committed to heart by your children. Not only will it provide all the benefits of reading and memorizing, but it will supply some simple reflections that will turn those little minds to what is most important in their life….their Catholic Faith.

Research shows children learn more in their first eight years than they do in the rest of their lives. This is a powerful time to teach them.

Most important, it is a crucial time for us, as those devout Catholic parents of old, to teach our children their Faith as they sit at our feet and learn from us.

So, parents, here is a teaching tool that can help! These are meaningful little rhymes that will provide an enjoyable way to teach your children and will enrich your home with Catholic culture!

Encourage your children to learn the poems in this book. Let them peruse the pages and look at the pictures. You will find that it will be a meaningful experience for all!

Available here.

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Feminine Fall Fashions

04 Monday Sep 2017

Posted by Leanevdp in FF Tidbits, Modesty

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

autumn, fall, fashion, modest, modesty

We love the fall colors and what a lovely time of the year to model some modest, fall fashions!

We don’t spend a lot of money on clothing but usually either sew them or get them from thrift shops or garage sales. We don’t haunt the sales, either, but are able to find good deals along the way!

I thought you might enjoy some of these fall colors as I got the girls to dress up in their autumn attire!

(Click on the first picture to view the gallery)












A Fashion Show….Meet Virginia!

27 Thursday Apr 2017

Posted by Leanevdp in FF Tidbits, Modesty

≈ 11 Comments

 

Since I wrote this post, 5 years ago, Virginia has had 2 more children and is expecting her eighth (she presently has seven)….she has 2 girls now which is balm to a sewing mom’s soul….nothing like pretty dresses to whip up! She has also made scads more outfits that, if I get my act together, I may post in the future.

In the meantime, it is always fun to look at (and look back at) nice home made clothes… so enjoy!

Who says you can’t be modest and cute at the same time!?

My oldest daughter, Virginia (known by most as Gin) is an excellent seamstress and likes to make clothes for herself, her sisters, her 4 little boys….and now her little girl!

Virginia didn’t take any lessons except my own rudimentary ones as she was growing up. She took off with it and it is now one of her passions and we all benefit from it! 🙂

We are very spoiled. If we need a new outfit for something and are willing to foot the bill for the material and pattern, Gin will whip it out for us! We try to keep it at a minimum. It’s not like she has nothing to do except sit around, read and sip tea!! 😀

DSC02173Like Finer Femininity on Facebook

The following pictures are of her sewing room and her handy-dandy Bernina sewing machine. Her in-laws bought her a refurbished one for her wedding. Click on the first picture of each group of photos to see the whole gallery (there are 4 galleries so don’t miss them!!).   GALLERY 1:

 

On this side of the wall is the children’s play room. So Gin can sew and watch the kids at the same time.


And here are some pictures of the recent clothing she has made. She was a little reticent to be the model but I talked her into it! The other girls didn’t mind at all. Girls will be girls, you know. They always love a fashion show! GALLERY 2:

 





Sheesh…always sneaking in where he’s not supposed to!




This is a maternity dress. Gin embroidered on the collar. Looks lovely!


And we can’t forget the recent wedding! Virginia made all the bridesmaid dresses and the flower girl dresses! GALLERY 3:

 

Our daughter, Theresa’s Wedding 4 years ago. Virginia made most of the dresses.
Our daughter-in-law with her bridesmaids.

Our daughter, Jeanette’s wedding (the recent wedding).
She had all shapes and sizes to work with, and one of the bridesmaids was out of state, so she made the backs adjustable with the ties.


Here are some of the guys. Virginia likes to make fancy vests! GALLERY 4:

 





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“The first duty of the wife is to study to be in every way she can the companion, the help, and the friend of her husband. Indeed on her capacity to be all this, and her earnest fulfillment of this threefold function depends all the happiness of both their lives, as well as the well-being of the whole family.” –Fr. Bernard O’Reilly, The Mirror of True Womanhood, 1893  (afflink)

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Lovely, Charming….

 

Made by my daughter Virginia, these hats are such a beautiful addition to the little girl’s wardrobe. Visit my Meadows of Grace Shoppe  for a peek! 🙂 🙂

 

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