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Category Archives: Virtues

What Do You Think of Drinking? ~ Fr. Daniel A. Lord

02 Thursday Mar 2023

Posted by Leanevdp in by Father Daniel A. Lord, Virtues

≈ 4 Comments

This subject is dear to my heart. There is an Association some of us belong to in our home. It is called the PTAA, the Pioneer Total Abstinence Association. (Please note that I don’t endorse this website in its entirety, only because I don’t know much about it. I only use it to be united to others in making the pledge.)

It is a Catholic, Dublin, Ireland-based Association and one of the first members was Frank Duff (pictured above) who founded the Legion of Mary (and is now a Venerable.)

In the following excerpt, Fr. Lord laments the fact that the pledge is no longer in use….well….it is! Through this association, you can make the pledge to abstain for alcohol until you are 21, or for a temporary time (say, a year) or you can become a “life-er”.

We wear a pin (hubby’s lousy at this…he loses it…so do I), and say a prayer twice a day offering our abstinence for those who suffer from intemperance.

Our daughters have taken the pledge for a time. Margy did it for a 3 year period, Rosie has done it for a year and then renewed. It is great for the young people to be involved. They see the potential dangers of alcohol…and are doing something about it!

So many people suffer from the ravages of alcohol. No, of course, alcohol is not evil, and if used in moderation, it is a gift. (And our kids understand this, too).

But…so often we see those who can’t (or choose not to) do the moderation thing.

Alcoholism touches so many of us. It is not prejudiced….it ruins lives among the poor and rich, among both men and women, the lower class and the elite, Catholics and Protestants, etc….

So, if you want to check out this Association and make the pledge….go for it! It can be such a valuable mortification! It is there for those who suffer from the disease of alcoholism and for those wishing to make this sacrifice to help those who suffer from it!  Click here for more info: PTAA

What do you think of drinking?

Fr. Daniel A. Lord, 1950’s, Questions They Always Ask

God made the vine and the fruit of the vine. As He sat with His disciples, He drank with dignity and deep friendliness from the unconsecrated cup upon the table.

The discomfiture of a young bride in Cana led Him by His first miracle to turn water into wine for her feast. St. Paul advised the use of “a little wine for your stomach’s sake.”

It is worth noting, however, that the Apostle advised a little wine, and that he took it for granted that his old friend and disciple, to whom he was writing, had reached the years when he was likely to be having stomach complaints.

Few people have been hurt by what they drank in the protective wholesomeness of their own homes. There have, however, been exceptions even here. But when parents serve wine on festive occasions, their children drink with relative safety.

If to commemorate a birthday dad shakes some cocktails and gives a small one to the children, no harm is done. Then, as a person grows older and his powers grow weaker, a little stimulant may serve to make him slightly less boresome, less dull.

Old people are likely to find the party a bit tiresome and to doze by the hearth unless they have the artificial stimulation of a drink or two. Besides, there are parties so dull and conversations so wearisome that only the false glitter of a cocktail shaker keeps the miscalled celebrants from screaming in pain or staggering off in a drugged coma.

So drink can have its place. In measure, it can be an added joy to a family party or to a pleasant gathering in a home. It keeps old people briefly from remembering that they are old.

When a tired businessman faces a social ordeal which he just isn’t up to, he may find the strain less rending if he is fortified by a cocktail.

A mature person with a book and a glass of wine near his own fireside or in the companionship of congenial friends is a social symbol of relaxation and restfulness.

Socially acceptable is the group of men sitting around beer steins, singing far more than drinking, loving the good fellowship much more than the mild beverage.

But drink was intended to be stimulant for conversation, not substitute. It was meant to be an aid to a party, not the party itself. Like all of God’s good gifts, it was to be used with dignity and self-mastery by mature men and women.

Men and women were not supposed to find it a trap for their feet, a stutter for their tongues, a cloud for their brains, a snare for their souls.

Time was when men were proud of their ability to “hold their drink:” They would have been bitterly ashamed of themselves if they found out the next day that they had, on the strength of a couple of mugs or glasses, made fools of themselves, passed out of the picture, or slid under the table in a lump.

But a new tradition marks our age. Young people are positively proud of the fact that liquor makes a fool of them, that they can’t “hold their drink:”

They brag about how drunk they were and the speed with which the liquor threw, them. “Oh, boy! was I ever pie-eyed last night. I can’t remember anything that happened after ten o’clock.”

“Omigosh! what a head I’ve got this morning. I was boiled as an owl last night.”

“After that second highball, honest I can’t remember a thing.”

“Powerful stuff. A couple of snifters, and I was out like a light:”

What is there about drunkenness for anything other than shame? Physically the drunkards were weaklings. Morally they behaved like fools.

As a matter of cold fact, young people have no more need for liquor than they have for crutches. They have their own innate vitality to furnish the power for a good time. When a crowd of them are together, song should be easy, jokes should fly fast, their feet should fairly itch to dance.

They’re not a lot of old codgers needing an alcoholic build-up. Their digestions are not so dulled and their minds so jaded that they must be stimulated before they come alive.

They have simply none of the excuses which make drink understandable in those very elders whom youth regards with patronizing pity.

Quite willingly I concede that drink within their own homes is for young people seldom a peril. The same thing is true of drink in the well-conducted well-conducted homes of their family’s friends. But for young people to drink elsewhere is something quite different.

There is something particularly sinister about a “snort out of a flask” in a parked car; the ancient excuse of prohibition no longer makes that understandable.

Most of the places that sell drink look as dismal, dark and dank as the mouth of hell. The people who frequent them seem in large measure to belong right with the bats and other lower forms of life.

Why can’t drink be associated with family feasts? Right now it is linked with water-front brawls, obscene laughter, animal pawing, taverns that are the old saloons with new names and the old fixtures, sick stomachs, bad breathe, and fiery headaches.

That young man or woman is extremely smart who takes the pledge until he or she is twenty-one years old. An excellent reason for the taking of that pledge is to atone for the sins committed today by young people under the influence of drink and to prove by their strength that young people can get along nicely without drink.

There is something splendid in the examples of the young man and woman who simply do not drink. They are willing to forego legitimate pleasure for the sake of the good example they give to others.

Young people are wise if they always realize that drink for most young people is inflammatory. From the dawn of seduction evil men have known that drink lowers a girl’s resistance and increases their own passions. Get a girl to drink, they felt, and the gates of her virtue were at least unbarred, if not open.

So if young people are tempted, as by nature’s arrangement they are during the days of youth, they are wise to put aside the added temptations resulting from drink. It is an easy way to solve some of their most severe problems.

When they reach maturity, they should learn to use drink wisely – if they think they need or want to drink. It can be an aid to social life, a stimulus to high converse, a pleasant lubricant for song, a bond of friendship.

But to drink just to be drinking, to have a cocktail party just to drown the tonsils in alcohol, to use drink to lower one’s modesty and decent inhibitions or to make evil seem amusing – these are indecent, inhuman and un-Christian.

It’s a wise rule always to see that drink has a companion. Drink with good food is urbane. Drink with good talk may be excellent. Drink with a beloved book may be good.

Drinking alone in dangerous. Drinking with strangers is an affront to friendship.

But always as a Catholic looks upon a glass filled with an alcoholic drink, he should hear the cry of Christ, “I thirst.” He may then put aside the glass, in order to suffer or sacrifice a little with the thirsting Christ. He will then certainly not add to the torture that men’s drunkenness has caused the dying Christ.

No Catholic can escape the misery that has come to the world through the abuse of drink. He can then be a source of strength to tempted souls. If need be, he will bravely abstain throughout a lifetime, if by so doing he can help his weaker brothers and sisters to overcome their temptations and break away from the slavery of drink.

At prayer, I was for a long time near a Sister who used to handle incessantly either her rosary beads or some other thing; perhaps none heard it but myself, for my hearing is extremely acute, but I cannot say how it tormented me!
I should have liked to turn my head and look at the culprit so as to make her stop that noise: however, in my heart, I knew it was better to bear it patiently, for the love of God in the first place, and also to avoid giving pain.
I kept quiet, therefore, but was sometimes worked up to fever-heat, and obliged to make simply a prayer of endurance. Finally, I sought out the means of suffering with peace and joy, at least in my innermost soul; I tried to like the teasing little noise.
Instead of endeavoring not to hear it – a thing impossible – I listened with fixed attention, as if it had been a delightful concert; and my prayer, which was not the prayer of quiet, passed in offering this concert to Jesus.

“The Crucifix on the wall, the pictures of Our Lord and His Mother – the loveliest you can afford – the little shrine with lights and flowers – these unceasingly speak to your little ones of God’s love and His Beauty, preparing them for that friendship with God, that willing, personal submission to Him that is true freedom and happiness.” -Dominican Nun, Australia, 1954, Painting by Ferdinand Georg Waldmuller

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The rosary, scapulars, formal prayers and blessings, holy water, incense, altar candles. . . The sacramentals of the Holy Catholic Church express the supreme beauty and goodness of Almighty God. The words and language of the blessings are beautiful; the form and art of statues and pictures inspire the best in us. The sacramentals of themselves do not save souls, but they are the means for securing heavenly help for those who use them properly. A sacramental is anything set apart or blessed by the Church to excite good thoughts and to help devotion, and thus secure grace and take away venial sin or the temporal punishment due to sin. This beautiful compendium of Catholic sacramentals contains more than 60,000 words and over 50 full color illustrations that make the time-tested sacramental traditions of the Church – many of which have been forgotten since Vatican II – readily available to every believer.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Published 80 years ago, this Catholic classic focuses on the Christian family and uses as its foundation the1929 encyclical “On Christian Education of Youth” coupled with the “sense of Faith.” Addressing family topics and issues that remain as timely now as they were when the guide was first published, “The Christian Home” succinctly offers sound priestly reminders and advice in six major areas…

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Fr. Lasance Tidbits for Your Day ~ Reading/Faults of Those We Love, Etc.

28 Tuesday Feb 2023

Posted by Leanevdp in Family Life, Tidbits for Your Day, Virtues

≈ 1 Comment

by Father Lasance, My Prayer Book

Reading, a Molder of Character

The inspiration of a single book has made teachers, preachers, philosophers, authors, and statesmen.

The first book read by one has often appeared before him through life as a beacon which has saved him from many a danger. On the other hand, the demoralizing effects of one book have made profligates and criminals.

Many youths and adults now in prison trace the beginning of their downfall to the reading of a bad book.

A man’s character is shown by the books he reads.

Good books add to the happiness of a home. The true university of these days is a collection of books.-Carlyle

The Bible, “The Lives of the Saints,“ and “The Imitation of Christ “ought to be well thumbed.

It is quite reasonable to look for a Catholic magazine and a Catholic newspaper on the library table of the Catholic home.

The Catholic press ought to be supported by every Catholic family. It is a mighty apostolate; the good it does is incalculable.

The house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body.-Ossoli.

People are not usually better than the books they read.-Anonymous

There is no friend so faithful as a good book. There is no worse robber than a bad book.-Italian proverb

The books which help you most are those which make you think the most.-Theodore Parker.

A habit all should cultivate, is oft to read and ruminate.

Tears not how much but how well we read. -Anonymous

Books should to one of these four ends conduce:
For wisdom, piety, delight, or use.-Deham

The Faults of Those we Love

Who does not know, alas, the touching charm with which death envelops all memories? The faults of those who are gone are forgotten, for we have ceased to suffer from them.

We feel only the void which our loved ones have left, and however wayward their course, we can recall a time in their lives that was good, sentiments that were noble and touching. This period and these sentiments are our most vivid memories, and suffice to make us regret them.

Ah, why should we only discover the virtues of those who love us when it is too late to appreciate them, to enjoy them, and to let our loved ones see that we appreciate them!

Little Kindnesses

No single great deed is comparable to the multitude of little kindnesses performed by those unselfish souls who forget their own sorrows and, as true followers of Christ, scatter happiness on every side, and strew all life with hope and good cheer.

The Power of Silence

What a strange power there is in silence! How many resolutions are formed – how many sublime conquests effected during that pause when the lips are closed and the soul secretly feels the eye of her Maker upon her.

When some of these cutting, sharp, blighting words have been spoken, which send the hot indignant blood to the face and head, if those to whom they are addressed keep silent, look on with awe, for a mighty work is going on within them, and the spirit of evil or their guardian angel is very near to them in that hour.

During that pause they have made a step toward heaven or toward hell, and an item has been scored in the book which the Day of Judgment shall see opened.

They are the strong ones of the earth, the mighty forces for good or evil, those who know how to keep silence when it is a pain or grief to them.

Keep Your Eye on Heaven

If the sun is going down, look up at the stars; if the earth is dark, keep your eye on heaven. With God’s presence and God’s promises, anyone may be cheerful.

Use Your Gentlest Voice at Home

I would say to all: use your gentlest voice at home. Watch it day by day as a pearl of great price; for it will be worth more to you in days to come than the best pearl hid in the sea.

A kind voice is joy, like a lark’s song, to a hearth at home. Train it to sweet tones now, and it will keep in tune through life. -Elihu Burritt

St. Francis DeSales says:

“Accustom yourself in all that you do to act and speak gently and quietly, and you will see that in a short time you will completely control that abrupt impulsiveness.“

“Courage! Let us keep on in the low valleys of the little virtues. I love these three little virtues: gentleness of heart, firmness of mind, and simplicity of life.“

“Do not be quick to speak. Say much by a modest and judicious silence.“

“Great evenness of temper, continual gentleness, and suavity of heart are more rare than perfect charity, yet very desirable.“

In the world, on awakening in the morning, I used to think over what would probably occur, either pleasing or vexatious during the day; and if I foresaw only trying events, I arose dispirited.

Now it is quite the other way: I think of the difficulties and the sufferings that await me, and I rise the more joyous and full of courage, the more I foresee opportunities of proving my love for Jesus, and earning the living of my children – seeing that I am the mother of souls.

Then I kiss my crucifix, and lay it tenderly on the pillow while I dress, and I say to Him: “My Jesus, Thou has worked enough and wept enough during the three and thirty years of Thy life on this poor earth. Take now Thy rest… My turn it is to suffer and to fight.”

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

We seek happiness in many things yet we aren’t really happy. Why? You have made us for yourself & our hearts are restless till they rest in you, O Lord.

❤️🌹Our first line of defense is the bond we must have with our husband. Besides our spiritual life, which gives us the grace to do so, we must put our relationship with our husband first. It is something we work on each day.

How do we do this? Many times it is just by a tweaking of the attitude, seeing things from a different perspective. It is by practicing the virtues….self-sacrifice, submission, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.

The articles in this maglet will help you with these things. They are written by authors that are solid Catholics, as well as authors with old-fashioned values….
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Fr. Dolindo Ruotolo’s Surrender Prayer brought understanding and peace to countless souls amid the turbulence of the last century. Now, in our age of incomparable uncertainty, this miracle-worker and visionary writer offers the assurance you need to resolutely face the final things: death, judgment, Heaven, and Hell.

Read these pages, and you’ll embark on the ultimate journey of discovery into what happens to the soul after death. You’ll read true stories of the dead who have communicated to loved ones from the great beyond; you’ll learn how the saints described their mystical experiences, and you’ll investigate stunning supernatural phenomena that remain unexplained by science.

Notably, Don Dolindo provides proof for the existence of Purgatory and explains what it’s like for the souls suffering there. Moreover, he describes the consequences of sin and how the souls in Purgatory are awaiting our sacrificial suffering to be released into Paradise.

Best of all, Don Dolindo offers spiritual wisdom that you can apply to your daily life and shows you how to prepare for a holy death and the glory of the world to come. He describes the remarkable mystical experience of the soul’s awe-inspiring entrance into Heaven and explains the unique power of Our Blessed Mother to help us get there.

You’ll also learn:

    • The most important prayers that help free the Holy Souls in Purgatory
    • Why even venial sin impairs our relationship with God
    • Why good works, almsgiving, and penances are powerful atonements for sin
    • Why we need Our Lady’s maternity, humility, and love for souls
    • Why the saints delight in interceding for us
    • The sublime ecstasy and complete fulfillment that await us when we behold the Holy Trinity in Heaven

Archbishop Alban Goodier, S.J. fills in the many blanks in the historical narratives about the Passion of Jesus Christ with a riveting account based on history, culture and his own deep spiritual insights. He brings to life and unifies the many observations, emotions and subtle and not-so-subtle actions that revolve around the person of God the Son as he faces his most tragic and triumphant moment. The author’s unique approach intersperses Scripture accounts with the commentary of an incisive narrator who sifts and judges from the span of hundreds of years. He draws from the obvious as well as the obscure, and finds supernatural meaning in the most mundane actions that surround the suffering Christ. In the hands of this writer, the Lord’s few words, accompanied by the author’s commentary, challenge contemporary believers as much as they did those who first followed in the footsteps of Christ and his apostles.

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General Notions About Will-Training ~ Father E. Boyd Barrett, 1917

01 Wednesday Feb 2023

Posted by Leanevdp in Virtues, Youth

≈ 1 Comment

by Father E. Boyd Barrett, 1917

Those who think of devoting themselves to body-training are not repelled by the knowledge that daily exercises, which demand a certain sacrifice of time, and a certain expenditure of effort, are called for.

It seems to them quite reasonable to pay the cost of what they buy. They are purchasers of well-developed muscles and finely shaped limbs, and they pay readily in daily portions the price, which is bodily exercise.

In like manner those who wish to train their memories are quite prepared to undertake certain tasks at certain times.

It would be strange if it were otherwise with those who desire to train their wills. Will-training is, of course, a gradual process, and in this it resembles body-training and memory-training.

Little by little the will is built up. Little by little it is developed and perfected and frees itself from taint and disease. It is a slow process, but a very sure process. It demands, needless to say, much time and much earnestness.

Over and above time and earnestness, will-training costs effort, and that means self-sacrifice. Indeed, it is true to say that will-training costs what we are least ready to pay, for the discipline of daily exercises means self-sacrifice. It is better to admit this at once, and not to pretend that a strong will can be bought with a check, or won with a smile.

Strange to say, in order to train the will, will is needed. Will is self-trained. Will works on itself and perfects itself. If it did not preexist in us, there would be nothing to perfect, and no source of strength wherewith to work. For the will is called on at every step in will-training.

It is the will which builds up the will by willing. Perhaps, for the moment, these words are not plain and clear, but presently they will become so.

In will-training no expenditure of effort is fruitless. All is banked for some future occasion. But more than this, we begin to draw interest at once on what we bank. Our will grows stronger gradually, and day by day we derive benefit from the exercises we have already accomplished.

This means very much, as the will enters into every action. Indeed, no faculty is so universal in its scope of activity as the will. From tying a boot-lace in the morning to switching off an electric lamp at night, the will enters into all we do.

The question will doubtless be asked, “Is it possible to train the will? If one is already advanced in age, is it still possible?” The answer is most decidedly in the affirmative. It is always possible to train, that is, to improve the will. No matter how weak and inefficient the will may have become, yet is it still possible to train it.

There is no doctrine held more tenaciously by sane psychologists than this doctrine of the possibility of restoring and rebuilding the will, even when things have gone very far.

Some wills, of course, seem more capable than others of reaching a high degree of perfection. Not many men could acquire the will-power to joke about death and suffering, like Sir Thomas More or St. Laurence, even when in the bands of executioners. But all men can increase the strength of their will, and can so far throw off lethargy and laziness of character as to become energetic and strenuous.

Having prefaced these observations about the need for time, and effort, and gradual development in will-training, it may be well to indicate an important distinction between “reform of character” and “increase of will-power.”

Many authors regard the “education of the will” as synonymous with self-perfection, self-culture, and the reform of character. As a result, in books which profess to deal with will-training, much is said about the passions, ideals, sensuality, habits, meditation, day-dreaming, idea-force, self-conquest and such topics, but little is said of the precise means of curing will-disease and of acquiring will-force.

Indeed, it would seem that the word will is taken in far too broad and too general a sense, and that reform of character is looked upon as quite the same thing as increase of will-power. Now this is certainly not so.

It is quite conceivable that a man should have a very strong will, and yet care very little for culture or for the observing of the moral law. And further, it is quite conceivable that a man should set himself to develop and train his will, and should succeed in so doing, without ever entertaining the idea of making himself a more noble or more ideal character.

Men train their memories without any reference to morality, and men may well train their wills without any reference to morality. Without doubt when will-strength is acquired, passion can more easily be controlled. Without doubt, too, it usually happens that virtue and true strength of will go hand in hand.

But this does not gainsay the fact that virtue and will-strength are two quite different things, and that books professedly written on the “education of the will” should not be almost exclusively devoted to the consideration of good habits and self-culture.

A book on will-training should be as closely devoted to will-exercises, will-hygiene, and will-phenomena, as a book on body-training should be devoted to body-exercises, body-hygiene, and muscular phenomena. The will, like the intellect, is now an instrument of good, and now of evil.

The strong will, still improving and growing stronger, may become more and more an instrument of evil. It may co-exist with vicious passions, gross lack of culture, deplorable habits, and an utter contempt for the conventions of life.

The will is an instrument, weak or powerful for good or evil, but only an instrument, although as our highest and noblest instrument it should be our object ever to perfect and raise it.

That it is important to have a strong will no one will deny. We all admire the man of strong will—he is more truly a man than other men. He has the power to master himself—to become “lord of himself” and sole ruler of his own forces.

He knows what he can do. He does what he sets himself to do. He wills to do what he does, and means what he wills. He knows his own mind, and puts his hand with confidence to do that on which he is resolved, neither over-impetuously nor over-indolently.

Lethargy has no hold on him, and he scorns to give way to impulse. Energetic and strenuous without being over-active, he is consistent and persevering. He is in earnest about his work, in beginning it, in continuing it, and in concluding it.

He goes not a step beyond, nor does he fall a step short, of the just limit of his purpose. He uses his powers with ease and with assurance. He seems, as it were, to have possession of his own will; to be free in his independence. He wills.

His body is like a machine which he uses to accomplish his ends. That machine is started without a hitch, is governed and regulated as to speed and direction most smoothly, and is pulled up without a jerk by his will.

No engine-driver can control a locomotive as he controls his body. He does not care, usually, about boasting, or bullying, or flattering. He is too strong for that. He is not over-anxious to display his force. He knows he has power and he does not care if others know it or not. Rather, perhaps, he is aware that others do know and feel it intuitively.

He does not display his will-force by clenching his fists, and grinding his teeth, and convulsively heaving his breast like the heroes of the cinema.

He is content to face his daily tasks with quiet assurance, and to carry out what his will wills.

“We must have a daily habit of prayer; it should be ingrained in us. Morning and Night Prayers, the Rosary and frequent lifting of the mind to God will help us to hear His Voice.The daily habit of prayer leads us to spiritual health. We are more ‘tuned in’ to know what God’s will is in our life, to desire it and to do it. By our habit of prayer we will experience the tranquility and happiness that comes from Him Who sees our efforts and loves us so much! He will give us the peace that passeth all understanding….” – Anne Joachim

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Our Lady’s Love of Domestic Life

31 Tuesday Jan 2023

Posted by Leanevdp in Family Life, Organization Skills, Virtues, Vocation

≈ 3 Comments

by Mother Mary Potter, Catholic Family Magazine, Australia

We do not think enough of this love of Mary for simple domestic life; indeed, we often forget it entirely. Yet it is one of the most beautiful traits in her character.

It seems the very essence of Mary, so to speak, to be simple, to perform the common, ordinary duties of a wife and a mother, and to love them. Her Heart ever craved after one thing, namely, to walk simply before God and to be perfect, whatever might be the circumstances or condition of her life.

But He gave her what her Heart most desired, the simple ordinary life of women, that she might live this life in her sweet, simple way, and sanctify it for the multitude of women who should follow her, that she might leave an example to her children, so sweet, so captivating, that they hereafter might love to walk in her footsteps; that she might be the pattern of a perfect woman to them.

And such indeed she is, and so sweet is her example, that the world seems made holier, purer by the very name of Mary.

Every good Catholic household seems penetrated with her influence, and perfumed by her presence. Her statues and pictures are everywhere, and everywhere remind us of herself, the pure simple Mary, the holy woman, the gentle Virgin, the Mother above all mothers.

But she ever comes before us in her own simplicity, that simplicity of Mary which is unlike anything else. There is nothing extraordinary about her in her outward conduct and demeanor, nothing excessive, nothing exaggerated.

She is a pure, true woman, lovely beyond conception; she is Mary, unlike aught but herself.

But for all that, holy Mother, we wish to be like thee, as far as we may; we wish to imitate thee; we will follow thee in the way thou hast shown us; our lives shall be in conformity to thine, so far as our weakness will permit.

If thou hadst done extraordinary things we might still have looked up to thee, longed to imitate thee, and should not have been able: but thou hast lived upon this earth as other women live, working no miracles, doing nothing marvelous, but for the greater part in the simple discharge of the duties of a quiet peaceful home, only so perfectly, with such exquisite purity of intention, with such ardent charity.

We, too, desire to live as thou hast done; thou wilt surely help thy children, tender Mother that thou art.

Mary is great as the Immaculate Virgin, she is great as the marvelous Mother of God, she is great as she stands on Calvary, offering the greatest sacrifice ever creature offered to God.

She offered what was her own, for Jesus was hers, He was her Son.

Mary is great as Queen of Heaven, but Mary is equally great in the eyes of God in the simple actions of her daily life, since in them she did God’s will as perfectly as she did when she consented to become His Mother.

We love Thee, Mary, as we watch thee, so quiet, so humble performing thy daily round of duties.

Each action was an offering, a gift, well pleasing to the Most High, each action was performed carefully, earnestly, as though it were an act of religious worship, and so indeed it was in Mary’s eyes.

Mary sanctified the daily acts of life, and in this her children can and must follow her example.

God is everywhere. He is adorable everywhere. He should be adored everywhere. We work in His presence always. It is with this thought ever in our minds that we should work.

It will not then matter to us what our work is; the smallest action will be performed as carefully as the greatest, and our life will be beautiful in the sight of God. Yes; it is not always what appears to us to be grand actions that are grand in the sight of God.

They are indeed grand when performed purely for the love of God; but these same heroic actions may be done from unworthy, selfish, interested motives, and not be so pleasing to God as some most commonplace, everyday actions proceeding from a purer motive.

Who can understand the joy of God in His saints, whose days are full of such noble actions as these?

We, too, naturally admire what is heroic and noble. See the applause that Grace Darling won for her one brave act in saving the lives of the poor, shipwrecked sailors; but that may have been no more pleasing in the sight of God than the simple daily actions of many a chosen soul, both in the world and in the cloister, dear to the Heart of God, “for man seeth those things that appear, but the Lord beholdeth the heart.”

If we could see our lives as those in heaven see them; if we could but see how beautiful to the angels and saints the lives appear of those who on earth are “all for God,” how differently should we feel, how differently should we act.

Do we think as we should of the quiet, simple life of Mary, full of its everyday, ordinary actions?

We have read of the saint who saw how a poor laborer was adding to his merit and his future crown in heaven by every brick he laid. Then what must Mary have done? What was the purity of intention of that poor bricklayer laying his bricks compared to the intention with which Mary worked at her needlework, drew water from the well for her little household, cleaned the house and its humble furniture, ant did all that was necessary for the simple poor cottage at Nazareth.

The angels never tired of gazing at their Queen as she went from one duty to the other in the simple routine of her life. She grew more and more wonderful to them, and they loved human life, seeing it such as they had ne’er before seen it, “life as Mary lived it.”

Let Mary’s children resolve to imitate their Mother; let them, wherever they may be, whether in the world or the cloister, resolve to imitate Mary by their cheerful, careful performance of their daily duties. Our Mother  is looking lovingly upon us. Let us think of her sweet, smiling face; let us earn from her the crown she is holding for us, which she is so anxious to bestow upon us, the reward the good God will give to all who are faithful to Him, and persevere in His service to the end.

Let us never grow weary of our work; let us never grow remiss; let us never yield to sloth. We shall not be able to work for God in heaven, we shall rest in Him there. Now is the time for toil and labor. Now is the time to show love for God by fulfilling His will, which is that we labor in the sweat of our brow in a spirit of penance, though at the same time with a spirit of joy that we are able thus to give gifts to our God, the gift of ourselves and ail our faculties.

Recollect that if the temptation of sloth is given way to, there is an end to sanctity for us. Recollect that if we begin to perform our actions hurriedly, as matters of slight import, we are in a state of delusion, and our final perseverance in the right way is doubtful.

As a tree is known by its fruits, so is the perfection of a soul known by its works; it is the one true criterion. Watch how persons perform their work, and you will know how near they are to God. You will know if Jesus be dwelling as King within them or not.

One who works carelessly, who throws things about untidily, who by thoughtlessness and carelessness creates disorder, that soul is not living in close union with Jesus.

God is so orderly, so perfect, so beautifully neat, if I may say so with reverence, in all His ways. I cannot imagine such a thing as an untidy or a slovenly saint, though, in some, doubtless, the poor body and its tidiness and cleanliness have been disregarded, but this was done from higher motives, and not from carelessness or love of dirt for its own sake.

If we are striving to make a home for Jesus in our hearts, to make His dwelling within us pleasing to Him, how carefully we shall work, how perfectly shall we strive to perform each action, with what a joyous, happy spirit, too.

Not in a dull and slavish way; our service will not be a forced and oppressive, but a very cheerful, happy one; since all our actions will be offered to God, all our acts will be acts of love.

We shall love our life of love and labor, and it is the Mother of fair love who will infuse this love into us, who will help her children to work in the same spirit as she did, who will send angels to assist them if they try to do their part, who will herself teach them the best way of performing their daily duties.

Oh, lovely Mother, Queen of Angels, send thy holy angels to watch over thy children, and make them to live on earth as God’s earthly angels, well pleasing in His sight and most dear to Him.

If Mary’s children, then, would have their hearts in union with their Mother’s Heart, they, too, must love domestic life, home life; they must consider home as their place of work, and love it; they must think that their principal work is to make home happy; they must live in their household as Mary lived in hers; they must put their heart in all they do; they must make all their works acts of love, as Mary did; and God will bless those homes where the spirit of Mary thus lives.

May there be many such homes in this world, that God may love it as in the beginning, when He blessed it and pronounced it good.

 

 

“Lord, Help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all things. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy. I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.” -The Power of a Praying Wife

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This can be used each year for the month of February.

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Here is a marriage blueprint that every woman can follow. Happy marriages do not just happen, they are made. It takes three parties to make a good marriage; the husband, the wife, and the Lord. This book is concerned with helping the woman to become the wife desired and therefore loved that every man worth having wishes to find and keep.<P> This book sold over a quarter of a million copies shortly after its publication in 1951, and it was read by Catholics and non-Catholics alike. It is a practical manual. It should be read by every woman considering entering the matrimonial state and also by those women who are already married. It can also be read by men who may wish to see what a real challenge it is for a woman to live up to their expectations and how grateful they should be if they are blessed to find the woman of their desires…

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Home Life ~ Beautiful Girlhood

27 Friday Jan 2023

Posted by Leanevdp in Beautiful Girlhood, Virtues

≈ 2 Comments

This is truly beautiful. So many important, simple truths to ponder….

From Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale

“Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.”*

Not every language has a word equivalent to the English word home, but instead use a word meaning about the same as house. How much more the thought of home brings to our minds than merely the thought of the house in which we live! The beloved ones living there and our associations with each other, our hopes and fears and joys and sorrows, all mingle together in one place of rest and sweet communion—home.

Home is a little community with authority, laws, and citizens each having a part to perform that life there may be perfect. The form of government in this community is very simple. Father and Mother begin a partnership in which each has responsibility and rights. There have to be laws to govern the conduct of this community as it grows in numbers and responsibility and authority to execute these laws.

It is just as impossible for a home to be safe and happy without its members obeying the rules of right deportment as for a nation to be safe without laws and government.

To be able to fit into the home-life and to adjust ourselves to its requirements is one of the best traits of beautiful girlhood. This is not always accomplished without a struggle on the girl’s part; for when the years of fickle, changing youth are with a girl she finds that something in her nature rebels against the restraint of home.

She finds that in many instances she would take a different course from what her parents are taking, that what seems most needful to them and upon which they insist seems needless and superficial to her, while other things which she thinks are very necessary they call foolish and silly.

She wants to do many things of which they do not approve and will not permit, and require of her what is irksome and hard. She feels as if she were being pressed into a mold that does not fit, while her whole heart cries out for freedom to come and go and do as she pleases.

Some girls accept their own point of view as correct and contend and argue for their own way until all the beauty and peace of the home-life is destroyed. This is a grievous mistake, and one that can bring only sorrow and regret in its wake.

Other girls despondently give up to their parents’ way and develop no mind or character of their own. This, too, is a mistake, which weakens the nature of any girl.

But other girls submit to their parents because it is right that they should do so, yet holding, weighing, and considering their own opinions, really trying to learn what is best. A girl who will do this will soon develop judgment and discretion that her parents will be glad to honor.

I have in mind now a sweet girl of eighteen who for two years and more has not only helped to earn the family living but has done practically all the buying and planning of the younger children’s clothes.

Her mother is not afraid to trust the care of the children to her when they go out nor does she fear that her oldest daughter will misbehave when not in her presence. She does practically as she pleases because she has by thoughtful consideration developed judgment and wisdom sufficient to be given that liberty. How much of the happiness of this home rests at the door of this sweet girl we cannot say.

The younger daughter in the home has it in her power to make home a sweet, comfortable place to live, where laughter and sunshine will cheer the cloudiest day; or she may turn all its pleasures to bitterness and bring sorrow and heartache.

If she can submit to her parents’ control, can be obedient, kind, and thoughtful, she is a constant comfort; but if she is always contending and arguing, speaking up in a saucy manner when she is crossed, or scolding and quarreling with the younger children, she makes home almost unbearable.

If she has a separate set of manners for her own people from what she uses when with company, she is a constant disappointment. I never like the blank look that a mother’s face takes when someone commends the gentle kindness of a daughter of this type. She does not wish to lower her daughter in her friend’s estimation, nor can she heartily agree as to her daughter’s kindness.

A girl should have her full share of responsibility in the home. She should go about her work willingly, not as if it were an irksome duty which she was ill-disposed to perform. She should count herself one of the family, one of the children, having only equal rights and privileges with the rest.

A girl and her father should be good comrades. Too often this is not the case, but they live lives entirely apart from each other in interest and enjoyment. This is not always altogether the girl’s fault, but it is a condition she can remedy to a great extent by a little thoughtful kindness.

Father very often has been too busy to keep acquainted with his growing daughters, and finds them rather out of his range. They seem as much strangers to him as are their young friends whom he meets in the home. He thinks they do not care to have him about, and takes himself off to his room or chair or on the porch and leaves them to themselves.

One girl who found herself thus a stranger to her father formed the habit of going to meet him each evening she could get off. She was either at the corner, or, at least at the door when he came, and when she could she was at his office, so that they might have the whole way home together.

It was only a little while until this homecoming was the happiest part of both their days, and many loving confidences were exchanged, which would never have been possible without her first step.

Another family had the “father’s hour,” as they called it, the first hour after supper, and both he and the others planned their day to have this hour together. Fathers do like to be counted in.

Any girl who will speak disrespectfully either to or of her father is lacking in one of the first principles of real womanhood. She should always remember that Father has the right to direct her life, to say what she shall and shall not do, to forbid her to go anywhere that is not proper. His word to her should be final. His approval to her should mean much.

The daughter and her mother come into closer relationship. They touch each other on many more points than do daughter and father. And if the daughter is safe from the temptations and allurements of sin about her she is a girl who makes her mother her chief confidante. To her goes every secret, every hope, and every fear. All the perplexities of her young life are threshed out by Mother’s side.

But Mother has so much of her daughter’s life to oversee that it becomes irksome to the girl. When the girl is small her mother is responsible for almost every act every hour of the day. She says how the child’s hair shall be combed, what dress she shall wear, where she shall go, and what she shall do.

This oversight does not end all at once for the mother dare not let loose of the responsibility till the girl is able to take hold of it. And the changing over from complete supervision to self-direction is often a hard time for both mother and daughter, the early teens usually being the hardest struggle.

Let us think of a long bridge reaching across the years, one end of it resting on those approaching years from ten to twelve and the other end resting in the early twenties. When a girl begins to travel this bridge her parents have her complete oversight and are wholly responsible for her, and by the time she reaches the other end their responsibility ends and she is on her own. Somewhere along that bridge the reins of her life slip out of her parents’ hands and into her own.

The young person begins to feel the urge to be independent, grown up, and “on his own,” and the parent tries to hold him back till he understands better. If parents always understood, they would give over responsibility just as fast as young folks could bear it, but unfortunately parents do not always understand.

If boys and girls understood, they could be more patient, for grown-up years will come in time to all. But since it is hard for both the parents and the boys and girls to understand, there are a few years along in the teens when some very hard struggles occur between parents and children.

One of the sweetest places a young girl may have in any home is that of big sister. What a field of happiness and usefulness is open to the girl with little brothers and sisters! They are ready to look up to her as a guide and a pattern in everything. If she manages rightly, she can have unlimited influence with them.

Have you seen her, the ideal big sister? She is ever ready to kiss away the bumps and bruises of little heads and hearts, she knows just how to mend broken dolls and balls, she likes to pop corn and make candy for little people to eat, she knows such wonderful stories to tell or read, she will pick up and put out of sight those evidences of childish neglect that might bring little people into trouble, she understands and is a companion for everyone of them. Yes, many homes have just such older daughters as that.

The girl who is learning day by day to be a good daughter at home and a good sister to the young children, is also learning day by day how to make in time a good wife and a good mother. She is getting ready for the greatest work a woman can do.

It was a woman who had given her life for a noble and far-reaching work, and who had never married, who when commended for the much that she had accomplished said, “I would give it all for a pair of baby hands.” There is no work so good for any woman as making a good, true home for somebody. Every truly beautiful character is at its best at home. Let us never neglect the home life.

“These diapers that are changed daily, these meals that are cooked again and again, these floors that are scrubbed today only to get dirty tomorrow — these are as truly prayer in a mother’s vocation as the watches and prayers of the religious are in theirs.” -Mary Reed Newland, How to Raise Good Catholic Children http://amzn.to/2yTp42S (afflink)

Mrs. V talks to your children about obedience and how important it is! ….”Children, do you want to have a happy life? Do you want to go to heaven to see Jesus and Mary after your life here on earth? Then practice the virtue of obedience!”

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This can be used each year for the month of February.

Available here.

This book is a condensation in verse of the amazing story of a rebel, who in a fit of anger burnt down his family’s barn and took off to Texas to become a cowboy. Eventually after years of roaming he came home, reconciled with his family and eventually decided to become a Trappist monk.

We have reprinted Brother Joachim’s story to provide a portrait of God’s grace at work within a soul. Our hope is that this special publication may inspire others to discover the SOMEONE waiting at the door of each and every human heart. May those who read this work always be ready to welcome and embrace Him.

Prudencia Prim is a young woman of intelligence and achievement, with a deep knowledge of literature and several letters after her name. But when she accepts the post of private librarian in the village of San Ireneo de Arnois, she is unprepared for what she encounters there. Her employer, a book-loving intellectual, is dashing yet contrarian, always ready with a critique of her cherished Jane Austen and Louisa May Alcott. The neighbors, too, are capable of charm and eccentricity in equal measure, determined as they are to preserve their singular little community from the modern world outside.

Prudencia hoped for friendship in San Ireneo but she didn’t suspect that she might find love—nor that the course of her new life would run quite so rocky or would offer challenge and heartache as well as joy, discovery, and fireside debate. Set against a backdrop of steaming cups of tea, freshly baked cakes, and lovely company, The Awakening of Miss Prim is a distinctive and delightfully entertaining tale of literature, philosophy, and the search for happiness.

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Purity, Humility ~ The Catholic Teacher’s Companion

20 Friday Jan 2023

Posted by Leanevdp in Catholic Teacher's Companion, Education, Virtues

≈ 1 Comment

This is an excerpt taken from a treasure of a book published in 1924 called The Catholic Teacher’s Companion – A Book of Inspiration and Self-Help.

It was originally written for teaching Sisters….

PURITY

This is a virtue which the teacher has much at heart, and yet she may often be puzzled about the best means for inculcating it.

The Rev. Dr. John M. Cooper has therefore rendered a real service not only to our young people but to our teachers as well by treating the delicate subject so very well in his book, Play Fair.

In order to induce the teacher to take up the book, we shall quote a few passages from the chapter on Purity.

“And God created man to His own image: to the image of God He created him: male and female He created them.”

We are men and proud of it. But God, who treats us as men, not as babies, expects us to play the man’s part. God trusts us. He puts us on our honor in the field of purity as in other fields of our lives.

Our sex nature and powers were given us as a sacred trust for the founding of homes and the protection and upbringing of helpless and defenseless childhood. Around these things cluster like stars many of the glories of life, above all, the hallowed name of mother.

But purity, fallen and dragged in the slimy sewers of sin, turns into something more hideous than rotting leprosy. “Here is a champion swimmer. Look at his broad massive shoulders, his deep chest, his muscles of iron.

Every stroke of his mighty crawl drives him through the water with engine – like force. Trained to the very pink of condition, his sun-tanned, brawny, robust body is a sight that makes you glad to look upon.

One day he ventures out in the river too near the falls, is sucked into its powerful draw, and is swept over the brink. A week later there floats up to the surface from down in the depths a bloated Thing with glassy, mud-filmed eyes, reeking with the stench of decomposition.

So changes purity sucked into the draw of sin.

“Be a man, and chaste,” challenged the old pagan writer. And a modern poet has put a still more stirring challenge into the mouth of the noblest of the knights of poetry, Sir Galahad:

My strong blade carves the casks of men:

My stiff lance thrusteth sure.

My strength is as the strength of ten,

Because my heart is pure.

“Your body is like a frisky, spirited colt or bronco. Treat it kindly and fairly and it will carry you galloping toward your goal in life. Give it a chance. But do not let it throw you or run away with you. Make good in the bronco-busting game. Either you must break the bronco, or the bronco will break you.

Any mollycoddle can get himself thrown over a horse’s head. It takes a man to break in a worthwhile colt.

Be a man, and chaste!”

“Unchaste thoughts and images will come at times, invited or without an invitation. Three things will help keep them out or shoo them away.

*First, keep busy—with hobbies, collections, pets, sports, athletics, live games, books with much action in them, anything. It will be time to mope and daydream when you are ninety years old. Keep on your toes.

*Secondly, if wrong thoughts come, say a short prayer to Our Lord, His Blessed Mother, your Guardian Angel, then turn your attention to some of the things just mentioned and in which you are interested.

*Thirdly, stick to frequent Confession and Communion, weekly if possible. Be master of your thoughts and your tongue as well as of your body. Otherwise a boy becomes master of neither and the cringing flunkey of both.”

HUMILITY

Humility is the foundation of all virtuous living, and hence is of basic importance for character training. The normal child is predisposed to humility, as may be seen from the words of Christ wherewith He made the humility of the child the condition for entering into heaven: “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, he is the greater in the kingdom of heaven.”

But if the teacher should discover that a pupil is conceited, she must set about to correct the defect.

In the first place, she will insist on prompt obedience. She will also insist on the child’s showing proper respect to all his superiors.

W. Foerster maintains that it is important in this connection for the children to arise when their elders address them, never to interrupt the conversation of their elders, and not to sing or whistle in their presence.

Religious education offers still more helpful means. The habit of prayer, insistence on original sin with its tragic consequences, consideration of our many sins and frailties, proper preparation for Confession and Communion—all these are means to impress upon the child the need of deep humility, and afford him an opportunity for practicing this very important virtue.

However, while training her pupils to humility the teacher must be on her guard lest she teach them diffidence and faint-heartedness instead of humility.

Outside of religious motives, there is, indeed, no set of principles that will safely guide her pupils in observing the golden mean between pride and faint-heartedness.

The wisdom and training you give to your child will determine the outcome. It is not the time to give in to weariness, indifference, laziness or careless neglect. Their souls are in your hands…. Painting by Tasha Tudor

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book suggestions

Marva Collins offers a beacon of hope in the midst of America’s educational crises. MARVA COLLINS’ WAY recounts Marva Collins’ successful teaching strategies and offers inspirational advice on how to motivate children to fulfill their potential…

 

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Give Your Loved Ones the Gift of Courtesy this Christmas

19 Monday Dec 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Virtues

≈ 1 Comment

This is such a beautiful excerpt that gives us an opportunity to meditate on something that should never grow old…that old-fashioned virtue, Courtesy.  Yes, it is very “in” to be courteous, especially to those within our four walls.

by J.R. Miller

A secret of happiness in married life is courtesy. By what law of nature or of life is it, that after the peals of the wedding bells have died away, and they have established themselves in their own home, so many husbands and wives drop the charming little amenities and refinements of manner toward each other, that so invariably and delightfully characterized their interaction before marriage?

Is there no necessity for these civilities any longer ? Are they so sure now of each other’s love, that they do not need to give expression to it, either in affectionate word or act? Is wedded love such a strong, vigorous and self-sufficing plant that it never needs sunshine, rain or dew?

Is politeness merely a manner that is necessary in interaction with the outside world, and not required when we are alone with those we love the best? Are home hearts so peculiarly constituted, that they are not pained or offended by things that would never be pardoned in us, if done in ordinary society?

Are we under no obligations to be respectful and to pay homage to our dearest friends— while even to the rudest clown, or the greatest stranger, which we meet outside our own doors— we feel ourselves bound to show the most perfect civility?

On the contrary, there is no place in the world where the amenities of courtesy should be so carefully maintained, as in the home. There are no hearts which hunger so, for expressions of affection, as the hearts of which we are most sure. There is no love which so needs its daily bread—as the love that is strongest and holiest.

There is no place where rudeness or incivility is so unpardonable, as inside our own doors and toward our best beloved! The tenderer the love and the truer— the more it craves the thousand little attentions and kindnesses which so satisfy the heart!

It is not costly presents at Christmas and on birthdays and anniversaries, that are needed ; these are only mockeries— if the days between are empty of affectionate expressions.

Jewelry and silks will never atone for the lack of warmth and tenderness. Between husband and wife there should be maintained , without break or pause— the most perfect courtesy, the gentlest attention, the most unselfish amiability, the utmost affectionateness!

Coleridge says, “The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions, the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling .”

These may seem trifles, and the omission of them may be deemed unworthy of thought; but they are the daily bread of love, and hearts go hungry when they are omitted.

It may be only carelessness at first in a busy husband or a weary wife— which fails in these small, sweet courtesies, and it may seem a little matter— but in the end the result may be a growing far apart of two lives which might have been forever very happy in each other— had their early love but been cherished and nourished.

“Do the things you don’t want to do. Do them cheerfully and well. E.Schaeffer wrote, ‘Somebody has to get up early, stay up late, do more than the others, if the human garden is to be a thing of beauty.’ At first glance it doesn’t seem fair, but there are hidden and precious rewards for dying to self and serving. Stomping and self-pity cancel the reward points.” 😊 -Charlotte Siems

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The rosary, scapulars, formal prayers and blessings, holy water, incense, altar candles. . . . The sacramentals of the Holy Catholic Church express the supreme beauty and goodness of Almighty God. The words and language of the blessings are beautiful; the form and art of statues and pictures inspire the best in us. The sacramentals of themselves do not save souls, but they are the means for securing heavenly help for those who use them properly. A sacramental is anything set apart or blessed by the Church to excite good thoughts and to help devotion, and thus secure grace and take away venial sin or the temporal punishment due to sin. This beautiful compendium of Catholic sacramentals contains more than 60,000 words and over 50 full color illustrations that make the time-tested sacramental traditions of the Church – many of which have been forgotten since Vatican II – readily available to every believer.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Published 80 years ago, this Catholic classic focuses on the Christian family and uses as its foundation the1929 encyclical “On Christian Education of Youth” coupled with the “sense of Faith.” Addressing family topics and issues that remain as timely now as they were when the guide was first published, “The Christian Home” succinctly offers sound priestly reminders and advice in six major areas…

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So Very Thankful by Theresa Byrne

23 Wednesday Nov 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in by Theresa Byrne, Virtues

≈ 4 Comments

So very thankful,
Incredibly grateful,
Unbelievably blessed!

Without the cloves, cinnamon and ginger, the pie is mundane and tasteless. So it goes with life….a little Joy, Thanksgiving and Gratefulness adds flavor!

The past year or so it has become very apparent to me how important it is to be grateful. As the thought-provoking question goes, “If you were able to keep everything you were grateful for today, what would you have?”

When I seriously look at my life I see how I have been so blessed, but it’s so easy to get caught up in the “what I don’t have” or the comparing game.

Thrift shopping, I overheard a conversation between a grandmother and a small grandchild, that she had on an outing. The child loudly, obnoxiously hollered in the middle of the store, “I want to go to Chick-fil-A, not stupid McDonald’s!”

Ugh, is this what we have become? I remember the first time I went to McDonald’s it was on my honeymoon. Growing up, going out to eat was a very rare, joyous occasion!

For me, having children is the best way to see where my attitude is at. They reflect me. As a stay-at-home, homeschooling Mom, there is no one that they rub shoulders with more than me. The more I have become aware of their attitudes, the more I know me.

When my seven-year-old daughter started yelling more at her siblings, I stopped and saw me. When my nine year old son kept getting frustrated in school and repeating, “I’m not comprehending,” I saw me. And so on and on we go.

The positive I have learned through this, is that I can change my attitude, and just like the bad, the good also rubs off. In the past year I have tried to be more consciously grateful. …For the beautiful day, for a warm home, good food, the people I love. While this has been a huge positive, I realize that in order for my kids to pick it up I must verbalize gratefulness.

So I try. During the day I will say things like, “Thank you for this beautiful day, Jesus,” or “We are so blessed to have this good food!” The more I have verbalized gratefulness, the easier it has become. Just like the yelling rubs off, so does the gratitude.

It warms my heart when my very hungry four-year-old gushes, “Thank you, Jesus, for this beautiful food!”

As we have begun to practice gratitude more and more, we have found more to be grateful for. The negatives can turn into a positive. For instance, “Daddy has to work late again tonight, but we are very grateful he has lots of work and we might be able to do something as a family, with the extra money.”

In general, I feel that gratitude has made us more happy and joyous. Sometimes I can feel the joy bubble over, and I believe that has become the side effect of gratitude….

“When gratitude becomes your default setting, Life Changes.” -Nancy Demos

It has also made me more aware of the lack of gratitude. When we were young, mom would go shopping and usually bring us home a little treat from the Health Food Store. We would always work very hard to have the house sparkling clean, and we were always very grateful for our stick of licorice or stevia soda.

So one day, when I got home from a shopping trip, and my son demanded, “What did you get for me?” I thought, “Uh-oh, what am I creating?”

Next time I went to town, I skipped the treat….and that seemed to make the impression… that it is not something to be demanded or expected, but to be grateful for.

I feel like gratitude has helped us make a big deal out of little things for us. We are grateful to make homemade fries, to go on a walk, to have a bonfire. It is beautiful, simple and I feel blessed!

This Thanksgiving, our family is trying to remember the spices of Joy, Thanksgiving and Gratefulness! It just makes the pie so much better!

“A true wife makes a man’s life nobler, stronger, grander, by the omnipotence of her love ‘turning all the forces of manhood upward and heavenward.’ While she clings to him in holy confidence and loving dependence she brings out in him whatever is noblest and richest in his being. She inspires him with her courage and earnestness. She beautifies his life. She softens whatever is rude and harsh in his habits or his spirit. She clothes him with the gentler graces of refined and cultured manhood. While she yields to him and never disregards his lightest wish, she is really his queen, ruling his whole life and leading him onward and upward in every proper path.” J.R.Miller

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In With God in Russia, Ciszek reflects on his daily life as a prisoner, the labor he endured while working in the mines and on construction gangs, his unwavering faith in God, and his firm devotion to his vows and vocation. Enduring brutal conditions, Ciszek risked his life to offer spiritual guidance to fellow prisoners who could easily have exposed him for their own gains. He chronicles these experiences with grace, humility, and candor, from his secret work leading mass and hearing confessions within the prison grounds, to his participation in a major gulag uprising, to his own “resurrection”—his eventual release in a prisoner exchange in October 1963 which astonished all who had feared he was dead.

Powerful and inspirational, With God in Russia captures the heroic patience, endurance, and religious conviction of a man whose life embodied the Christian ideals that sustained him…..

Captured by a Russian army during World War II and convicted of being a “Vatican spy,” Jesuit Father Walter J. Ciszek spent 23 agonizing years in Soviet prisons and the labor camps of Siberia. Only through an utter reliance on God’s will did he manage to endure the extreme hardship. He tells of the courage he found in prayer–a courage that eased the loneliness, the pain, the frustration, the anguish, the fears, the despair. For, as Ciszek relates, the solace of spiritual contemplation gave him an inner serenity upon which he was able to draw amidst the “arrogance of evil” that surrounded him. Ciszek learns to accept the inhuman work in the infamous Siberian salt mines as a labor pleasing to God. And through that experience, he was able to turn the adverse forces of circumstance into a source of positive value and a means of drawing closer to the compassionate and never-forsaking Divine Spirit.

He Leadeth Me is a book to inspire all Christians to greater faith and trust in God–even in their darkest hour. As the author asks, “What can ultimately trouble the soul that accepts every moment of every day as a gift from the hands of God and strives always to do his will?”
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The Keys to Mutual Love ~ Fr. George Kelly

22 Tuesday Nov 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Catholic Family Handbook, Rev. George A. Kelly, Family Life, Virtues

≈ 1 Comment

 

by Father George Kelly. The Catholic Marriage Manual

To succeed at any vocation, you must have patience, a determination to learn, a willingness to put aside momentary desires for the sake of final success. The vocation of marriage is no exception. It requires hard work. In fact, it is probably the hardest job of all.

For example, consider what a wife and mother must be. She must be an inspiring companion to her husband. She must be a housekeeper who has some skill in cooking, sewing and cleaning. She must be something of an economist, able to handle her household budget and to shop efficiently for food, furnishings and clothing.

She must be proficient in the feeding and physical care of her children. She must be a nurse. She must be a teacher with a working knowledge of child psychology to discipline her youngsters properly.

In addition to the actual skills needed for the successful performance of these jobs, she requires spiritual and emotional qualities —patience, tolerance, understanding, kindness, gentility, fortitude, prudence.

The successful husband and father needs similar qualities. To inspire respect for his leadership he should be reasonably competent as a man: he must be the head of the family; he must be a provider for his wife and children.

He must be a source of inspiration to his wife, encouraging her to fulfill her duties as wife and mother. He, too, must be a teacher, for his example will probably be the most important influence in the development of his son’s personality.

He also requires insights into the spiritual and emotional needs of his wife and children. He requires high resolutions and a strong sense of duty to meet those needs.

Since it is obvious that a man and woman need so many qualities to succeed as husband and wife and as father and mother, why do so many take the marriage vows without really knowing what will be expected of them?

Even couples who have lived together for years sometimes fail to realize how many adjustments they must make and how much self-discipline they must impose if their marriage is to weather future difficulties successfully.

Listen to the dreamy popular songs on the radio, read the romantic novels in many magazines, and view the love stories portrayed on television or in the movies. Seldom will you find even a vague suggestion that the vocation of marriage requires unremitting hard work by both partners.

Problems that arise in marriage as portrayed on television are almost always solved in time for the final commercial. Popular songs convey a constant impression that personality conflicts can be washed away in the sea of sex.

Even articles on marriage in popular magazines and books, seriously intended to help couples achieve better adjustment, often introduce a typical problem and, a few sentences later, report how the couple, by performing a magic act like visiting a marriage counselor, correct all past difficulties and live happily thereafter.

Few publications emphasize that mutual sacrifice is essential to marital success.

In that magnificent little volume The Imitation of Christ, compiled by Thomas Kempis in the fifteenth century, it is written: “Unless thou deny thyself, thou shalt not have perfect liberty.”

Those words might be studied by every married person. Unless you practice severe self-discipline and subjugate your own desires, striving instead to fulfill the needs of your spouse and children, you cannot gain the full happiness of marriage.

Despite what the movies say, no one “finds” happiness. If you obtain it at all, you must earn it. And it will be earned only by what the Catholic marriage ritual calls “the great principle of self-sacrifice.”

On your wedding day you surrendered your individual lives in the interest of a deeper and wider common life. From that day forward you belonged to each other. You were expected to become one in mind, one in heart, and one in affections.

And as the ritual counseled: “Whatever sacrifices you may hereafter be required to make to preserve this common life, always make them generously.”

Does this mean that we must picture married life in grim, terrifying colors? Not a bit! Sacrifice is difficult and irksome only in the absence of love.

Love makes it easy, and the more perfect the love, the more joy in the sacrifice.

When two people learn to bear patiently with marriage and with each other, marital harmony is the result. And this meeting of minds is the greatest source of happiness humans can obtain on earth.

No earthly pleasure can match that which the loving husband gives his wife, the wife gives her husband, or children give their parents. Very few people indeed appreciate that it is the warm and living union of two persons which alone gives life its full meaning.

“Where is the busy mother who cannot find time enough to spend thus a few moments every night with each child before it falls asleep, in sweet, loving talk; and tender, earnest prayer? Far down into the years, the memory of such sacred moments will go, proving thousands of times a light in darkness, an inspiration in discouragement, a secret of victory in hard struggle, a hand to restrain from sin in time of fierce temptation.” -J.R. Miller

 

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An Important Letter From Father To Son

17 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Father's Role, Parenting, Virtues, Youth, Youth/Courtship

≈ Leave a comment

An Important Letter From Father To Son

From Steering the Boy to a Happy Marriage, 1949

Dear Son:

This letter is very important, perhaps the most important I will ever write, and having been a stenographer, secretary, etc. I have written many. But this is from me to you—from father to son—my only son—and seemingly certain the only son I will ever have. If it should be that you have a son some day you will understand—the love of a father for his son.

So far, you have done very well and I am proud of you, and feel certain you will continue to be a credit to yourself, to your fine mother and sisters and to me. But fate, perhaps of my own making, has decreed that we are separated for a time and at this particular period of your life when I so much want to help you find the true guide for living.

I have in my pocket a slip of paper, already yellowed with age, on which I wrote the following: “Nov. 17, 1919 1:10 PM (Name) Took (mother) to hospital 1 :00 AM, 11, 17 19.” You are therefore 19 years 5 months old now, an age at which a boy needs the helpful guidance of his father.

Now that I am well and able, much more so than ever, I feel keenly my responsibility to you. Oh what I would give if I could have had guidance like this from my father when I was your age? My father died when I was only four and one-half years old—I don’t even remember him. Consequently I had no one to do this for me.

When I say that I don’t wish to reflect unkindly on my very good mother and sisters. They did more than their full duty to me.

If I had had such a letter, or personal instruction, and had faithfully followed it, it would have saved me untold misery and finally deep despair, to say nothing of the suffering and unhappiness that I caused many others. But if that had been the case perhaps you would never have been born, or at least you would have different parents—but I am getting into deep water here and had better throw out the life line.

So let’s take the situation as we find it, not as we would like to have it—always a good rule to start with on a job of work. But before joyfully entering the fray and accepting the challenge, and before I forget to mention it, I want to say that one of the many reasons why I so much wanted to see you at Easter was that I wanted to help you in the matter of your rupture.

I remember keenly how much concern mine gave me when I was near your age. You have arrived at or are approaching the period when sex begins to engage the thoughts of most young people. The right way to handle this natural condition is to make it an imperative MUST rule of conduct to obey the sixth commandment of God: “Thou shalt not com-mit adultery.”

This means to keep yourself morally clean in all respects just as the Boy Scout oath requires and which you have taken many times. There will be times when you are in the company of careless or weak companions when they will attempt to ridicule you into violating this commandment, and there even might occur a tempter in the way of a bad girl or woman of loose morals.

Or you might get the idea to yield to impurity in secret and think no one will know. But heed my plea and stand steadfast, no matter what the cost, and you will be glad you did.

When the right girl comes along, if marriage should be your portion, you will know it, and the fact that you have kept yourself clean will be a big aid in itself in meeting the right girls among whom the right one might turn up.

Remember—make it a MUST rule and no compromise in any circumstances. One cannot get away from one’s conscience—it will follow one to the ends of the earth, and that “still small voice” will be there just the same.

One of the fine results from a strict observance of this excellent commandment is that it keeps one from dissipating his energy and time on sinful things, and keeps the mind alert for attention to other things which really contribute to one’s welfare and happiness.

You have a good knowledge of the Bible and must have noted how often reference is made to the wickedness of impurity, lust, etc. and how often they have caused the downfall of individuals and nations.

Another thing to bear in mind is to avoid the things and places where temptation is likely to occur, such as smutty magazines, indecent photographs, motion pictures playing up sex, (generally in a subtle, enticing manner), association with the wrong kind of girls.

A young man cannot associate with evil very long before the devil en-traps him. Don’t try to see how close you can come and think you will not weaken. That is why Christ taught all to pray: “Lead us not into temptation.” The smart thing is to keep as far away from it as possible. So much for that.

All the other commandments are important too and should be kept faithfully. The means recommended by the Church for right living and the natural consequence—right preparation for the life hereafter,—are:

1. Keep the commandments;

  1. Receive the sacraments;

3. Perform good works;

4. Pray.

It is well to bear these in mind and practice them. This will give you the assurance that God is your ally and therefore you cannot fail to win the day. And when the time comes for you to pass out of life you will face death with that peace springing from the conviction of life everlasting, of which St. Paul said: “That eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man what things God hath prepared for them that love him.”

On the matter of the life hereafter, which, of course, is not far ahead for every soul, that grand inspired messenger of Christ, John L. Stoddard, out of the richness of a lifetime of observation, experience and research, states his ultimate conclusion in the following beautiful, conviction-compelling manner:

“A time will come,—may come at any moment,—when this ephemeral existence, with its business occupations, wealth and pleasures, must be left. Some callously declare that they shall then expire like the beasts, and pass at once to nothingness.

But, in the face of man’s unsatisfied desires and potentialities, of his instinctive longing for the reign of perfect justice, and of the positive words of Christ in reference to a future judgment, how do they know that they will pass thus into annihilation, untried, unrecompensed, unpunished? They do not know it. They cannot know it. The fact that they desire it does not make it true.

“And if they do not find annihilation at death’s portal, but on the contrary confront their Maker and their Judge there, well, what then? One thing is sure; of all that they desired here,—rank riches, pleasures, personal beauty, power, fame,—they can take nothing with them. All that will go with them into the future life will be,—not what they have, but what they are.

To all men, therefore, it must seem possible, to most men probable, and to Christians certain, that this life is not all ; that this world’s sorrow, suffering and bereavement are not the meaningless precursors of annihilation; that all the great achievements of the human mind will not end uselessly upon a lifeless orb; that earth’s injustices will not rest unavenged; that worthy, pious and self-sacrificing deeds will not go unrewarded; and, above all, that Heaven is not a mere mirage, nor God a myth, nor immortality an idle dream.”

The following from the Bible seems fitting here: “and fear ye not them that kill the body, and are not able to kill the soul ; but rather fear him that can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (St. Matt. 10:28).

I cannot live your life for you, and I would not if I could. That is every person’s privilege and duty. But there is no reason why you should not profit by my experience. It is the smart thing to do. And you will thereby go farther and accomplish more than I have.

This letter is nearing conclusion, and I am only going to mention the following to help impress you with my earnestness and the truth of what I have stated herein.

I am writing this at a time when I haven’t a dollar of my own, and am temporarily living on the charity of a good sister. The point I would make is that I have this firm belief, even in these circumstances.

How much easier it will be when I have at my disposal an abundant income, which I feel supremely confident I will have soon, because, by the grace of God, I have the stuff to earn it: “Give the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.”

I still have a long ways to go. Also, going back to the last paragraph, it is not so easy to do what I am doing, considering that over a long period I had an ample income; at times substantial. It requires much self-discipline and patience, two virtues which I do not recall ever being charged with. (Perhaps this is how I have to get them.)

I hope you will feel inclined to keep and cherish this letter, and to read it every now and then. If it should be that you are present when I pass on, it would give me the greatest pleasure if you could tell me that you have faithfully followed the advice here given to the best of your ability. I will, of course, supplement this in person, from time to time when we meet.

I am drafting this letter on a beautiful, balmy spring afternoon, sitting on a bench in the Public Library Park at Massachusetts Ave. and K Street in the nation’s capital. It is wonderful to be alive and able and willing to do one’s best work, in which there is always the greatest pleasure. You will find life that way pretty much if you adopt the program I have recommended to you. By this I am giving you the best I have; angels can do no more.

John Henry Newman said: “Nothing would be done at all, if a man waited till he could do it so well that no one could find fault with it.”

This is a good thing to remember in many situations. And now, goodbye for a little while, and may God bless you and give you understanding and strength. This morning I received your very good letter. Those grades are excellent and I am more than pleased. Will write in a few days.

Yours very truly, Dad

“Who shall blame a child whose soul turns eagerly to the noise and distraction of worldliness, if his parents have failed to show him that love and peace and beauty are found only in God?” – Mary Reed Newland

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