• About
    • Copyright Disclaimer
    • Disclaimer
    • Disclosure Policy
  • My Book List
  • Book List for Catholic Men
  • Book List for the Youth
  • Sermons and Audios
  • Finer Femininity
    • Finer Femininity Meeting
    • Traditional Family Weekend
  • My Morning and Night Prayers
  • Donate to Finer Femininity?
  • Catholic Mother’s Traditional Advent Journal
  • Finer Femininity Magazine!
  • Books by Leane
    • My New Book – Catholic Mother Goose!
    • Catholic Hearth Stories
    • My Book – Cheerful Chats for Catholic Children
  • Toning With T-Tapp
    • Move It! A Challenge for You and Me….

Finer Femininity

~ Joyful, Feminine, Catholic

Finer Femininity

Category Archives: by Charlotte Siems

The Things That Matter—and The Things That Don’t ~ Charlotte Siems

03 Friday Feb 2023

Posted by Leanevdp in Attitude, by Charlotte Siems, Special Websites

≈ 4 Comments

 I think we all could take a step back…and we do when we or someone we love goes through some kind of crisis….and take stock of what we have deemed important up to that point. Adjustments are made and then forgotten. In the busy-ness of our lives, we fail to remember.
Charlotte Siems reminds us…

Painting by Marcel Marlier (Belgian)

There are things that matter and we think they don’t.

There are things that don’t matter much and we think they do.

It’s not that we purposely set out to ignore important things or elevate unimportant things. We just get busy and busier. Before we know it there’s a skewed sense of priorities.

We forget what we’ll wish we’d done when we’re fifty-three or seventy-two.

In the daily-ness of wiping noses and grocery shopping and genuine exhaustion we somehow lose the vision. We forget what we’ll be glad we did when we’re drawing our last breaths. Or sitting at the bedside of a loved one drawing theirs.

There’s nothing like a crisis to help us sort out which is which. I’m grateful that we’re not in a season of crisis. But watching Facebook acquaintances walk through the valley of the shadow of cancer and the death of children has given me a little shot of perspective lately.

And speaking of perspective, here’s a personal, off-the-top-of-my-head, short list of things that matter:

  • Hugs
  • Changing diapers with love rather than impatience, even when the diaper wearer is three years old
  • Paying attention to my husband and thinking about him during the day
  • Speaking well of my children to others, especially when those children can overhear
  • Oohing and aahing over Lego creations and stick drawings and dandelions clutched in a sweaty little fist
  • Making the effort to make holidays special, even the small ones (*My note ~ making feast days special…even the small ones)
  • Helping people feel special on their birthday
  • Being kind to bedwetters

Things that don’t matter much:

  • Watching other people live life on TV and Pinterest instead of living my own
  • Impressing other homeschool moms with my children’s accomplishments
  • Complaining about how I feel
  • Letting how I feel determine how hard I try to treat others well
  • Fingerprints on doorframes and refrigerators
  • Finishing workbooks and perfecting handwriting at the cost of personal relationships
  • Constantly pushing children with what they need to do better rather than encouraging them with what they do well
  • Ignoring my husband, figuring he’s a big boy

The lists could go on, of course. If you think of something to add, please do.

The wisdom and training you give to your child will determine the outcome. It is not the time to give in to weariness, indifference, laziness or careless neglect. Their souls are in your hands. ~Finer Femininity (Painting by Tasha Tudor)

Lenten Giveaway!!

The winner will receive these lovely items to add to your Lenten/Book collection!

Just leave a comment by following this link and your name will be added to the “hat”! Winner will be announced next Tuesday, Feb. 6th!

The following pages in this Mother’s Maglet (magazine/booklet) is for you…to inspire you in your daily walk as a loving, strong, patient Catholic mother. As mothers we have an awesome responsibility, as one of the key people in our children’s lives, to help mold them into happy, well-adjusted, faith-filled adults. This Maglet is filled with unique articles and anecdotes to help you in this journey.It is unique because most of the articles are written by men and women (some priests and a Dominican nun) who have lived in an age where common sense was more of the norm. Their advice and experience are timeless and invaluable… Available here.
All 6 Maglets available here.


Meet Saint John, a little fellow with a huge heart,who did ALL FOR THE GLORY OF GOD and learned to love Him enormously! Being different from others is never easy. Saint John the Dwarf, of all people, could tell you that! Forever standing on chairs to reach things, unable to play games with other children because of his size, and being teased by the village bullies were all hard things to bear, and could have made John bitter and full of self-pity. But John discovered a secret – a great BIG secret – which changed his life and turned him into a giant of a saint. Join Little John on his adventures – from his home to a desert cave, to the altar and beyond – and let him teach you his secret of holiness too!With charming full-color illustrations and easy-to-read text, this first book in Susan Peek’s new series for children (companion to her series for teens, “God’s Forgotten Friends: Lives of Little-known Saints”) is sure to capture the hearts of Catholic children everywhere.


A new historical novel about the unusual life of King Baldwin IV of Jerusalem, the leper crusader king who – despite ascending to the throne at only 13, his early death at 24 and his debilitating disease – performed great and heroic deeds in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. Teenagers and avid readers of all ages will be amazed at this story and be inspired by a faith that accomplished the impossible!

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

 

 

Practical Tips to Help Moms Enjoy Their Kids’ Childhood

28 Thursday Jul 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in by Charlotte Siems, FF Tidbits

≈ 3 Comments

by Charlotte Siems   (Used with Permission)

I like this article by Charlotte Siems, a mother of 12, as she answers the following question…

“I always try to keep in mind the fact that it will, and does, go by so fast. I really do try to enjoy it, but sometimes I’m better at doing that in theory and thought than in practice. Do you have any tips on how to apply this thought in a practical way?”

First of all, be assured that no one does it perfectly. In the midst of three little kids with stomach flu or washing the underwear of a resistant potty-trainer, it’s normal to feel that mothering is less than enjoyable. Almost everyone has thought, at one time or another, “Are these kids ever going to grow up?”

The problem comes when that is the controlling thought of your life. A constant stream of self-pity and avoiding responsibility just makes for a miserable Mom, and it’s not going to make the children grow up any faster. Pining away for the life you used to have or wishing away the diaper-changing years is foolish.

In addition, those thoughts turn into words. It’s a sad thing for a child to overhear his mother complain about him to another person. When the child hears “he’s my wild one” his little mind accepts that label and sets about being just that. Can you imagine the rejection a little girl feels when she hears that her Mom can’t wait until the kids go back to school? Speak life-giving words, not words of death and rejection and disdain.

As part of the mystery of life, we love those whom we serve. Sometimes the answer when it’s hard is to actually go the second mile. Rather than just throw the cereal bowls on the table, lay a cloth and light a candle. Beauty feeds your own soul and your children’s as well.

Part of serving those whom we love is to make a commitment to avoid complaining, negative words and a pained expression when you are serving your children. I know that I failed at this many times over the years and it’s a painful regret. Think about how you feel when someone is doing something for you with sighs and rolling eyes. It’s not very nice, is it? Too often we get aggravated about tasks that we must do because of another’s inability to do it for themselves—and that’s not their fault.

To a great extent, our ability to enjoy our children’s season of childhood depends on how well we take thoughts captive.

Our reactions to our family can be affected when we get dragged out and exhausted on the journey because we’re not caring for ourselves. I spent a lot of years very overweight and that reflected my belief that I was being noble for putting everyone else ahead of my basic needs. I also felt that I didn’t deserve to be cared for, but that’s another post entirely. I’m not advocating an attitude of “I have my rights” but many of us need a gentle reminder that reasonably caring for ourselves helps us care better for others.

This care not only includes food, hydration and rest, but exercise and personal growth as well. Motherhood has stretched me to the uttermost as a person, and I somehow made time to invest in my own education and training. I read books about home organization, cooking, marriage, homeschooling, home decorating and more—whatever area of my home or life that I was working on at the time. The internet has now opened limitless opportunities for learning.

Just make sure that whatever resources you choose, they influence you for good. If a certain blog or magazine or person makes you feel discontent and annoyed with your circumstances, run, don’t walk, to remove it from your life. Choose uplifting, encouraging and challenging–not harsh or guilt-producing—input, training and mentoring. Take care who and what you allow to influence you. Check the fruit of their life and method. Beware the teacher who read a book and is now trying to tell you how to do it!

Finally, make it easier on yourself whenever you can. Paper plates and disposable diapers can be lifesavers during a rough season. Put up gates in the doorways and rest on the couch while little ones play nearby. Stay home and let the kids get their naps. Consistently discipline your children, for that will definitely make your life easier (and theirs, too).

Rather than trying to escape home, set about learning how to make it the best, most homey place on earth for your family. We get more of what we focus on. You can choose to focus on “these kids are driving me crazy” or “how can I make this situation better?”

I didn’t name this post “Surviving Your Kids’ Childhood” because I don’t want you to think that way. Sure, we joke about it sometimes, but when your child is thirty years old you’ll wistfully remember these years as good ones.

Dr. Herbert Ratner, longtime pediatrician and La Leche League consultant, once said this about parenting:

“The years between 40 and 60 are just as long as the years between 20 and 40. What you do in the first twenty years will determine how happy you are in the second twenty years.”

Chin up, Mom. Find ways to help you keep the right perspective when your courage is flagging. Years from now you won’t wish that you had ignored your kids and yanked their diapers and hated every minute of having little ones. You’ll be glad you did what it took to do the hard things and stay faithful and give your children a happy and secure childhood.

“In truth, the family circle is the nursery of saints as of sane human beings. There the child finds the love, security and guidance which are his greatest needs. It is by loving and being loved that persons grow as persons. It is in the family that relationships are essentially personal and each person is valued as a person.” -Dominican Sister, Australia, 1955

We must realize that building back to traditional values starts, first, in ourselves and in our homes. Which, in turn, will affect our communities and society in general. And our dress is a powerful means to do just that! It IS like a billboard saying, “There is still something beautiful, noble and good in this world, and it is worth living for.”

Penal Rosaries! Penal rosaries and crucifixes have a wonderful story behind them. They were used during the times when religious objects were forbidden and it was illegal to be Catholic. Being caught with a rosary could mean imprisonment or worse. A penal rosary is a single decade with the crucifix on one end and, oftentimes, a ring on the other. When praying the penal rosary you would start with the ring on your thumb and the beads and crucifix of the rosary in your sleeve, as you moved on to the next decade you moved the ring to your next finger and so on and so forth. This allowed people to pray the rosary without the fear of being detected. Available here.



To the modern mind, the concept of poverty is often confused with destitution. But destitution emphatically is not the Gospel ideal. A love-filled sharing frugality is the message, and Happy Are You Poor explains the meaning of this beatitude lived and taught by Jesus himself. But isn’t simplicity in lifestyle meant only for nuns and priests? Are not all of us to enjoy the goodness and beauties of our magnificent creation? Are parents to be frugal with the children they love so much?

For over half a century, Catholic families have treasured the practical piety and homespun wisdom of Mary Reed Newland’s classic of domestic spirituality, The Year and Our Children. With this new edition, no longer will you have to search for worn, dusty copies to enjoy Newland’s faithful insights, gentle lessons, and delightful stories. They’re all here, and ready to be shared with your family or homeschooling group. Here, too, you’ll find all the prayers, crafts, family activities, litanies, and recipes that will help make your children ever-mindful of the beautiful rhythm of the Church calendar.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support

 

Building a Happy Home

07 Friday Jan 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in by Charlotte Siems, Catholic Home Life

≈ 2 Comments

I remember my dear aunt (God rest her soul) say to my mom, “It’s very hard, Beulah, to be a good Catholic.”

I’ve given that a few thoughts through the years and my own thoughts are, “It’s very hard NOT being a good Catholic!”

All mothers struggle. But I can’t imagine being a mom without the Faith.

There are many of these moms who are juggling careers and motherhood and spinning their wheels.

They feel they are wasting their degrees if they are staying home and just changing diapers, and at the same time they feel inadequate as a mom, not knowing where to turn.

It’s a confusing and empty life without our Faith to guide us.

We, as Catholic mothers, struggle. But we have all the helps, all the guidelines, the Sacramental grace at our fingertips. We must count ourselves very fortunate.

That being said, it is a good thing to listen to the commonsense advice of veteran moms.

Charlotte Siems is a mother of twelve and has learned some lessons along the way! Thank you to her for this lovely post that should give you some inspiration in your own journey!

600868_224530724390131_666750221_n

Before having children, many women worry about what kind of mother they will be. Nothing unusual about that, but a difficult childhood instilled in me a fear that I wouldn’t know how to have a normal family home life. I worried about how I would handle discipline or how I would treat possible future children. On the other hand, that same childhood experience made me determined to create a marriage and home that was stable, warm and peaceful.

Early in my mothering career I attended a parenting conference and heard Dr. Herbert Ratner make the following statement: “The 20 years between 20 and 40 (years of age) are just as long as the 20 years between 40 and 60. What you do in the first 20 years determines how happy you will be in the second 20 years.” That idea stuck with me. I determined to live life with the end in mind.

Not knowing how to have a happy home, I set out to learn how. Here are a few things I figured out:

Books don’t magically solve problems. Sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking we’re doing something because we read about it and agree with it. Close the book and do what it says.

Surround yourself with what is true and lovely. Protect yourself from ugly input. Don’t live in a bleak, cluttered environment. Bring beauty, warmth, and neatness to all of your life. Be very careful what you allow to enter your mind and eyes. Constant exposure to beautiful ideas and noble goals will transform your thought life.

We all know that thoughts determine actions, don’t we?

Do the things you don’t want to do. Do them cheerfully and well. Edith Schaeffer wrote, “Somebody has to get up early, stay up late, do more than the others, if the human garden is to be a thing of beauty.” At first glance it doesn’t seem fair, but there are hidden and precious rewards for dying to self and serving. Stomping and self-pity cancel the reward points.

Choose your hard things. Do your laundry and put it away. That’s hard. Get ready to go somewhere and realize no one has clean clothes to wear. That’s hard. You pick.

Take the time. Yes, I know you’re busy. Throw a meal on the table and get on to the next thing. No time for a tablecloth and candles and flowers. You’ll do that when you have time. But before you know it, the weeks, the months and the years pass, and the children leave home and you never had time.

Lest you think I’ve sailed through life with clean laundry and beautiful meal tables, I assure you these lessons were hard earned. Many times I felt inadequate to the task. It was like trying to pour water from a dry bucket. Giving your children what you didn’t have as a child is not easy. Creating a happy home life from scratch will take everything you’ve got and even that won’t be enough…

That’s why I’m so glad for the strength Jesus gives me. His favor and loving-kindness supply what I don’t have. He will gladly do that for you, too, for He knows all about love and building beautiful homes…

It turns out that giving your family what you didn’t receive, gives it back to you.

ff-quote-for-the-day-christmas-er-3

This is the time of year that you should be able to get some Epiphany Water in your home! It is very powerful (and who doesn’t need some good power going on in their homes)! The blessing of Epiphany water has special exorcism prayers that no other holy water has. Use it often….teach your children the value of it and get them used to blessing themselves with it.

15741077_623848901150457_1158506390918651196_n

Reviews on Gin’s Aprons:
“I highly, highly recommend these aprons. Purchase one for yourself as a treat. I have two of these aprons, one for Fall and one for Advent/Christmas. They are soft, lined on the backside in a coordinated fabric, and they are sewn together with much love and attention to all the details. The ties are long enough to wrap around your back and tie in front if you like that style. The Autumn one I’ve used for a couple of months now washes up well for me on delicate cycle with Woolite.”

“Gorgeous quality and detail. I purchased it as a gift and the recipient cried. Seems like it was a match :)”

“It’s perfect! I love it and received it very quickly!”

“A beautiful tribute to Our Lady and a reminder of what it means to be a woman! Incredibly high quality. I look forward to ordering from this company again!”

A lovely gift! Beautiful aprons made by Gin! Fully lined, hand-embroidered, quality material, made with care and detail! Available here.

Make a statement with these lovely and graceful handcrafted aprons! Aprons tell a beautiful story…..a story of love and sacrifice….of baking bread and mopping floors, of planting seeds and household chores. Sadly, many women have tossed the aprons aside and donned their business attire. Wear your apron with joy….it is a symbol of Femininity….”Finer” Femininity!

 

Imperfect Family Life

20 Wednesday Nov 2019

Posted by Leanevdp in Attitude, by Charlotte Siems

≈ 1 Comment

by Charlotte Siems

One thing that’s true for all families is that life isn’t perfect. We can’t smooth everything out as easily as ironing a shirt. Work schedules, financial pressures, issues with children and much more require decisions on the part of parents.

Those decisions relate not only to adjustments and working with what you have, but also to the attitude you’re going to have about your circumstances.

Recently a married couple asked me about how to work their schedule around the husband’s shift work. We talked about the hours that changed every four days and the difficulty of keeping the children quiet so Dad could sleep during the day.

During the conversation, the wife tried to think of ways to create the best atmosphere for her husband’s sleep needs. Meanwhile, the husband would interrupt with comments that he could sleep through their noise, and he didn’t want them to feel stifled to stay quiet.

We all agreed that there was no perfect solution and that their situation would require constant adjusting and shifting. But most of all, I was struck by their mutual attitude of honor for each other. They were both trying to do what was best for the other person.

I pointed out that no matter what solutions they found, their children would grow up remembering that Mom and Dad loved and honored each other. They would look back with fondness on the times that their mother reminded them that they needed to let their father sleep because he worked hard for the family.

With that atmosphere in the home, a constantly changing schedule and inconvenient arrangements will be a minor complication. The attitude is what their children will catch, not the perfect answer for their schedule. All is not lost if the love and respect shine through.

No matter what family situation we’re dealing with, our daily attitude is what our children are watching. Better an imperfect schedule lived with an attitude of love and cheerfulness, than rigorous efficiency with a cost of aggravation and disappointment.

Life will never be perfect. Schedules will never run perfectly. Just when you think you have it all figured out, life will change. But living that life with grace for yourself and others will smooth out the wrinkles.

Often what we’re so stressed about today doesn’t even matter by next week. What does hang around is the damage to relationships and memories caused by our negative attitude and words. Be sure to keep the big picture in mind while you’re ironing out the details to deal with your circumstances.

“That they be loved in the things which they themselves like by a sharing in their youthful interests; in this way they will learn to see your love in matters which naturally speaking are not very pleasing to them, as is the case with study, discipline, and self-denial: in this way they will learn to do these things also with love.” -St. John Bosco

Our attitude changes our life…it’s that simple. Our good attitude greatly affects those that we love, making our homes a more cheerier and peaceful dwelling! To have this control…to be able to turn around our attitude is a tremendous thing to think about!
This Gratitude Journal is here to help you focus on the good, the beautiful, the praiseworthy. “For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 – Douay Rheims).
Yes, we need to be thinking of these things throughout the day!
You will be disciplined, the next 30 days, to write positive, thankful thoughts down in this journal. You will be thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people you are grateful for, lovely and thought-provoking Catholic quotes, thoughts before bedtime, etc. Saying it, reading it, writing it, all helps to ingrain thankfulness into our hearts…and Our Lord so loves gratefulness! It makes us happier, too!
Available here.



 

Beginning with the first day of Advent and continuing through the Feast of the Baptism of Our Lord, these selections from the immortal pen of Fulton J. Sheen encourage readers to explore the essence and promise of the season. Those looking to grow in their prayer life and become more attuned to the joy of Advent and Christmas will find a wonderful guide in this spiritual companion….

You are about to make the season of Advent more meaningful than you ever have! This Advent journal is for busy moms who need a little help making this season special within the home. It will help you stay on track and be consistent with the customs you have decided to incorporate within your four walls. I have broken it down into bite-sized tidbits that, when laid out for you, will be easy to accomplish. As you check each item off you will get a sense of fulfillment knowing you are getting done what is truly important in this expectant season! The other things will get done….but first things first! At midnight, on Christmas Eve, when Baby Jesus arrives, you and your family will look back upon your Advent and sigh with satisfaction, knowing you truly have celebrated with the Church, that you have put your best foot forward in making this a spiritual, enchanting, holy time for all! The first few pages of this book will have a run-down of the special Advent customs and activities that will be on your checklist each day. They are simple, they are doable. I hope this Advent is more special than ever as we walk hand-in-hand making the Liturgy come alive in our homes!

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

How Not to be an Eeyore – Charlotte Siems

28 Friday Jun 2019

Posted by Leanevdp in Attitude, by Charlotte Siems, Loving Wife

≈ 4 Comments

I enjoy Winnie-the-Pooh! And I find Eeyore a lovable pessimist. He really is very funny how he can be so negative…all the time, even when he is trying to be an optimist!

Most of us have Eeyore moments. Some of us more than others, depending on our temperament and our environment. That’s why Eeyore can be endearing. We relate!

In this article from Charlotte Siems, she helps us to see those Eeyore moments for what they are and choose the higher road!

How Not to be an Eeyore
Charlotte Siems
•

As a young mom I remember wondering “How do I change my attitude?”

•There had to be a better way than getting mired in discouragement every day.
• Thoughts took me wherever they wanted to go and I went along for the ride. 

•It felt like that was just the way things were, since I wasn’t blessed with a cheerful personality and an easy life.

•I felt like Eeyore in the Winnie the Pooh stories:
•“Good morning, Pooh Bear,” said Eeyore gloomily. “If it is a good morning,” he said. “Which I doubt,” said he.
•“Why, what’s the matter?”
•“Nothing, Pooh Bear, nothing. We can’t all, and some of us don’t. That’s all there is to it.”
•“Can’t all what?” said Pooh, rubbing his nose.
•“Gaiety. Song-and-dance. Here we go round the mulberry bush.”
•It took years to realize that the power to change my attitude was in my own choices.
•Of course we can’t control which thoughts pop into our heads. But we can control which thoughts to dwell on.
WHICH WILL IT BE?
•Watching the clock and letting self-pity and resentment overtake me when the baby wakes up crying every two hours?
•OR
•Extending grace to a tiny person who hasn’t lived on the earth for very long and realizing the truth that this season of babyhood is very short and less sleep isn’t going to kill me, especially when I don’t think that it will?

WHICH WILL IT BE?

•Sighing with martyrdom and self-righteousness when I have to pick up my husband’s dirty clothes, slinging them in anger for good measure?
•OR
•Thinking affectionately of this man who works hard and being grateful I have a husband to pick up after?
WHICH WILL IT BE?
•Feeling annoyed and snappish when children don’t follow my nicely planned homeschool schedule?
•OR
•Realizing that the interruptions and imperfections are exactly the life that God is sending to me today, and staying aware that even the homeschool years are a fleeting season.
•Note that the circumstances in each scenario didn’t change. Only my choice of thoughts.
•Our first thought could very well be the aggravation-resentment-self-pity one.
•But at that point we get to choose which thoughts to focus on and strengthen.
• It’s our choice which thoughts to bring to the front of our minds and water and fertilize and carefully tend.
•The truth is, sometimes we don’t WANT to choose gracious, loving thoughts. It seems unfair.
•We’d rather focus on ourselves and our rights, with a bit of foot-stomping and crossed arms. Waahh.
•But of course we can’t escape the inevitable reaping of what we sow.
When we scatter seeds of self-pity and resentment, we harvest bitterness and grouchiness and all manner of ugliness.
•If you don’t want to think positive, that’s okay.
•Just get rid of all the negative thoughts in your mind and whatever is left will be fine.
•Choose your thoughts wisely, for as a woman thinks in her heart, so is she.
Picture6
•We don’t want our family to remember us as a stressed-out, grouchy, sad-faced, aggravated Mom.
•You CAN change your attitude. Nobody wants to be an Eeyore, so don’t think like one.
“Welcome home! That’s what I want my life to say to everyone whose path crosses mine. I want to create an atmosphere of serenity and joy, of blessing and belonging, that embraces people (myself included) and draws them in – an atmosphere that makes them feel loved and special and cared for.” – Emilie Barnes, The Spirit of Loveliness http://amzn.to/2oiwM07 (afflink)
Are your thoughts building a castle or a manure pile? It is vital to control the thoughts we have in our most important relationship…the one with our husband!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgWMzYpnvlU

Beautiful, Exceptionally Colorful, Glossy Pages…Your Children Will Love This Book!
Review: Catholic Mother Goose, Volume Two, is a ‘one of a kind’ treasure for young and old alike! Little minds will be captivated by the beautifully colored and illustrated pages. Throughout the nursery rhymes, children will learn the lessons of kindness, unselfishness, the efficacy of suffering and the value of prayer! They will become more familiar with the lives of the Saints, St. Therese, St. Francis, etc. and their great love for Jesus and Mary. These beautifully written poems will plant the seed for good literature and a love for reading for years to come. This is how we make our Catholic faith and culture come alive for our children! This book is a must!
Available here.
Package Deal on Volumes One and Two here.



 

These Small Hours – Living Intentionally Through the Christmas Season

15 Monday Dec 2014

Posted by Leanevdp in Attitude, by Charlotte Siems, Seasons, Seasons, Feast Days, etc.

≈ 3 Comments

Iphone December 21, 2013 031 Christmas Dance 2013 (26)

by Charlotte Siems

http://www.charlottesiems.com

Warning: busy times are ahead. ‘Tis the season for extra baking, shopping, wrapping, decorating and entertaining. Starting with the Thanksgiving holiday and ending with New Year’s, the addition of extra activities on top of our regularly scheduled lives can be a mite stressful.

I’m definitely in favor of doing the extras. Holidays mark the passing of the year. Traditions create a sense of belonging and comfort. Children relish those things that “we always do,” and the once-a-year foods and décor call up a sense of wonder and excitement like nothing else.
But here’s a reminder: Don’t forget the small hours.

Don’t lose sight of the people that you live and work with during this busy season. Life happens in the moments. There’s a tendency to get impatient and frustrated with the moments when there’s so much to do.
Changing diapers, wiping noses, taking time to listen to a co-worker or child’s story–we’re in a hurry to give it a slap and a promise so we can get to the important stuff. The reality is that the small hours ARE the important stuff.

All the little moments of life add up to memories, relationships and atmosphere. Our attitude in dealing with the little things affects the entire holiday season (and life year-round).

A certain holiday season stands out in my mind. It was busy as always, running from one activity to the next. The usual gathering of family for Thanksgiving, then before we knew it, Christmas. That year was especially hectic, as several family members were preparing to leave the very next day for a mission trip to Mexico.

I remember a poignant moment, captured on video, when each family opened a certain gift in unison. It was a patchwork quilt, crafted from scraps of Grandma’s dresses. The family had gathered for her funeral a few months earlier. The grown grandchildren examined the quilts eagerly, pointing out dresses they remembered her wearing. (Who says what we wear isn’t noticed by children?)

What I now remember is not so much the quilt, but the fact that we didn’t know it would be my brother-in-law’s last holiday with us. He was killed in a car accident on the return trip from Mexico a few days later, and life changed forever for the family.
I remember having the feeling that I wished we could rewind, like an old VHS tape. But there are no rewinds, no do-overs, no going back and stopping the inevitable after it has begun.

This holiday season, which has already begun, stay aware of the small hours. Beware the tendency to skip reading aloud and tucking in bed. Live life at home intentionally, and keep things simple. Encourage and love by the caring actions of everyday life: cooking meals, brushing hair, doing laundry. Wherever you are, be there.

Childhood and life are fleeting moments, and our lives happen in these small hours.
small hours

Like Finer Femininity on Facebook

Check out my Finer Femininity Maglet here

No MagazineSave when you buy both the Fall and Advent/Christmas Maglets here.IMG_5582

Keys to Real-Life Goal-Setting for Weight Loss

04 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by Leanevdp in by Charlotte Siems, FF Tidbits, Health and Wellness

≈ 2 Comments

This is from a real, live mother of 12 who lost over 100 lbs! So listen up!

by Charlotte Siems

“Set goals.”  “Make  a New Year’s Resolution.”  “Make your goals huge so you’ll have the passion to aim for them.”keys-weight-loss

Sound familiar?  We’ve all heard the goal-setting gurus proclaim different methods to set goals and reach them but so many of us have failed with their methods that we tend to give up and think, “what’s the use?”  I’ve felt that way before, yet I used goals to lose over 100 pounds.
At times I felt almost embarrassed that my goal-setting methods didn’t fit the prescribed form.  I knew that if I set a goal of losing 100 pounds I would give up before I started.  That took too much emotional energy, especially as a More to Lose person.  Deep down I had a dream of losing 100 pounds.  But that couldn’t be the star I aimed for when I weighed 258 pounds.
Instead I told myself “the next decade of pounds.”  In other words, when I weighed 258, I wanted to get into the 240’s.  Next the 230’s.  I did that all the way down.
In looking back, I can now see why it worked for me.  That’s all the belief I had at the time.
To start out I couldn’t even admit to myself that I wanted to lose 100 pounds.  It was too painful, too overwhelming and too shameful (not true, but that’s how I thought).  I didn’t even tell anyone outside of my immediate family that I was beginning an exercise program.  I felt private about it and didn’t want to share my hopes.
I now believe that helped me stay focused.  When we share our excitement and breathlessly outline our plans to other people, we get the same physical, emotional release and good feelings as if we’d already done the thing we’re planning. Our brain can’t tell the difference between us talking about it a lot and doing it.
We lose energy and drive.  We can even become addicted to the planning and sharing stage and never move on to the DOING stage.
So here are two keys to help you with your weight loss goals in 2014:
1)       Set smaller goals along the way.  Set goals that you truly believe you can reach.  Make a plan to get to the smaller goal and work the plan.  Then move the goal line a little further down the field as you go along.
2)      Stay quiet about it.  That doesn’t mean you don’t talk about your goals or share what you’re doing.  Choose wisely where you share it.  Your spouse, a friend or two and the T-Tapp forum are good places to share.  Just don’t disperse all of your energy and focus by excitedly talking about what you’re going to do with everyone you meet and go home satisfied.
If you’ve been avoiding the goal-setting scene because it seems pointless or overwhelming, try scaling back. It will remove the overwhelm. And you will feel the exhilaration and rush of reaching a goal over and over instead of just at the end of a long road. Maybe you’ll even get addicted to the rush of success.
Reaching my dream goal of losing over 100 pounds was really the accumulation of reaching lots of smaller goals. Try taking a baby step towards a doable goal, and be sure to celebrate when you reach it. Keep your eye on the closer prize, and before you know it you’ll be in the home stretch to your final goal.

Comparing Ourselves to Others

16 Monday Dec 2013

Posted by Leanevdp in by Charlotte Siems, FF Tidbits

≈ Leave a comment

by Charlotte Siems

Nobody’s perfect. We hear that statement but we act like we don’t believe it.

It’s so tempting to look at someone else and think they have it all together. That mom with the musical genius kids, the friend whose house is “always” clean, the lady who seems to effortlessly run a home business—looking in from the outside she looks amazing.comparing-ourselves-apples-to-oranges-300x231

And I’m not. Or so we think.

Comparing ourselves to others is like comparing apples to oranges, if you’ll pardon the over-used expression. We haven’t walked a mile in their shoes and they haven’t walked in ours.

Take me, for instance. You haven’t seen my kitchen floor when it crunches, or the girls’ room when you can’t see the floor. You don’t know the struggles I’ve had with thoughts of despair and discouragement, or the times I thought I couldn’t take one more minute of homeschooling.

I eat sweet boxed cereal, use powdered creamer in my coffee and like frozen pizza. Sometimes I wear my fuzzy purple robe until late in the morning. My shower needs a scrubbing and there are two loads of clean laundry sitting in baskets in the den even as we speak.

Often we only hear about other moms’ best days. The time when they had cookies and milk ready when school was over. The day their children did an impressive science project.

You don’t often hear about the day they yelled at everyone because they were late, the time they loudly loaded the dishwasher in anger or the moment they sighed loudly when approached by their husband in bed.

I’m not saying that we should air our dirty laundry in public (and that includes Facebook), but we should give ourselves grace, know that others are real human beings and not get discouraged with comparisons. I bet you’re doing better than you think.

We think things about ourselves and say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to someone else. When’s the last time you said, “You are so fat” or “That was really stupid” to your good friend? So why do you think it’s okay to say it to yourself?

We tend to think that mean words don’t count when we say them in our heads to ourselves.

Stand back and watch the next few days. Notice how often you compare yourself to others. You might be feeling superior and prideful, or you may feel hopeless and “behind.” Either way, it’s not helpful to you.

Be who you are, keep working towards being better. Don’t try to be someone else and don’t focus on your perception that they’re better than you.

Instead of wasting emotional energy on comparing ourselves to others, we can steer our thoughts to gratefulness and thoughts like “how can I do this better?”

We all have plenty to do without adding the burden of comparisons that always make us the loser. Stay aware, take thoughts captive and enjoy YOUR life.

Practical Tips to Help Moms Enjoy Their Kids’ Childhood

06 Wednesday Nov 2013

Posted by Leanevdp in by Charlotte Siems, FF Tidbits

≈ 1 Comment

motherchildby Charlotte Siems

In response to the post Tiny Dresses and Cowboy Pajamas about how childhood is fleeting and we should enjoy the years with children at home, a Mom of young children asked the following question:

“I always try to keep in mind the fact that it will, and does, go by so fast. I really do try to enjoy it, but sometimes I’m better at doing that in theory and thought than in practice. Do you have any tips on how to apply this thought in a practical way?”

First of all, be assured that no one does it perfectly. In the midst of three little kids with stomach flu or washing the underwear of a resistant potty-trainer, it’s normal to feel that mothering is less than enjoyable. Almost everyone has thought, at one time or another, “Are these kids ever going to grow up?”

The problem comes when that is the controlling thought of your life. A constant stream of self-pity and avoiding responsibility just makes for a miserable Mom, and it’s not going to make the children grow up any faster. Pining away for the life you used to have or wishing away the diaper-changing years is foolish.

In addition, those thoughts turn into words. It’s a sad thing for a child to overhear his mother complain about him to another person. When the child hears “he’s my wild one” his little mind accepts that label and sets about being just that. Can you imagine the rejection a little girl feels when she hears that her Mom can’t wait until the kids go back to school? Speak life-giving words, not words of death and rejection and disdain.

As part of the mystery of life, we love those whom we serve. Sometimes the answer when it’s hard is to actually go the second mile. Rather than just throw the cereal bowls on the table, lay a cloth and light a candle. Beauty feeds your own soul and your children’s as well.

Part of serving those whom we love is to make a commitment to avoid complaining, negative words and a pained expression when you are serving your children. I know that I failed at this many times over the years and it’s a painful regret. Think about how you feel when someone is doing something for you with sighs and rolling eyes. It’s not very nice, is it? Too often we get aggravated about tasks that we must do because of another’s inability to do it for themselves—and that’s not their fault.

To a great extent, our ability to enjoy our children’s season of childhood depends on how well we take thoughts captive.

Our reactions to our family can be affected when we get dragged out and exhausted on the journey because we’re not caring for ourselves. I spent a lot of years very overweight and that reflected my belief that I was being noble for putting everyone else ahead of my basic needs. I also felt that I didn’t deserve to be cared for, but that’s another post entirely. I’m not advocating an attitude of “I have my rights” but many of us need a gentle reminder that reasonably caring for ourselves helps us care better for others.

This care not only includes food, hydration and rest, but exercise and personal growth as well. Motherhood has stretched me to the uttermost as a person, and I somehow made time to invest in my own education and training. I read books about home organization, cooking, marriage, homeschooling, home decorating and more—whatever area of my home or life that I was working on at the time. The internet has now opened limitless opportunities for learning.

Just make sure that whatever resources you choose, they influence you for good. If a certain blog or magazine or person makes you feel discontent and annoyed with your circumstances, run, don’t walk, to remove it from your life. Choose uplifting, encouraging and challenging–not harsh or guilt-producing—input, training and mentoring. Take care who and what you allow to influence you. Check the fruit of their life and method. Beware the teacher who read a book and is now trying to tell you how to do it!

Finally, make it easier on yourself whenever you can. Paper plates and disposable diapers can be lifesavers during a rough season. Put up gates in the doorways and rest on the couch while little ones play nearby. Stay home and let the kids get their naps. Consistently discipline your children, for that will definitely make your life easier (and theirs, too).

Rather than trying to escape home, set about learning how to make it the best, most homey place on earth for your family. We get more of what we focus on. You can choose to focus on “these kids are driving me crazy” or “how can I make this situation better?”

I didn’t name this post “Surviving Your Kids’ Childhood” because I don’t want you to think that way. Sure, we joke about it sometimes, but when your child is thirty years old you’ll wistfully remember these years as good ones.

Dr. Herbert Ratner, longtime pediatrician and La Leche League consultant, once said this about parenting:

“The years between 40 and 60 are just as long as the years between 20 and 40. What you do in the first twenty years will determine how happy you are in the second twenty years.”

Chin up, Mom. Find ways to help you keep the right perspective when your courage is flagging. Years from now you won’t wish that you had ignored your kids and yanked their diapers and hated every minute of having little ones. You’ll be glad you did what it took to do the hard things and stay faithful and give your children a happy and secure childhood.

Imperfect Family Life

14 Monday Oct 2013

Posted by Leanevdp in Attitude, by Charlotte Siems

≈ Leave a comment

by Charlotte Siemsvintage_ironing_housewife_tired

One thing that’s true for all families is that life isn’t perfect. We can’t smooth everything out as easily as ironing a shirt. Work schedules, financial pressures, issues with children and much more require decisions on the part of parents.

Those decisions relate not only to adjustments and working with what you have, but also to the attitude you’re going to have about your circumstances.

Recently a married couple asked me about how to work their schedule around the husband’s shift work. We talked about the hours that changed every four days and the difficulty of keeping the children quiet so Dad could sleep during the day.

During the conversation, the wife tried to think of ways to create the best atmosphere for her husband’s sleep needs. Meanwhile, the husband would interrupt with comments that he could sleep through their noise, and he didn’t want them to feel stifled to stay quiet.

We all agreed that there was no perfect solution and that their situation would require constant adjusting and shifting. But most of all, I was struck by their mutual attitude of honor for each other. They were both trying to do what was best for the other person.

I pointed out that no matter what solutions they found, their children would grow up remembering that Mom and Dad loved and honored each other. They would look back with fondness on the times that their mother reminded them that they needed to let their father sleep because he worked hard for the family.

With that atmosphere in the home, a constantly changing schedule and inconvenient arrangements will be a minor complication. The attitude is what their children will catch, not the perfect answer for their schedule. All is not lost if the love and respect shine through.

No matter what family situation we’re dealing with, our daily attitude is what our children are watching. Better an imperfect schedule lived with an attitude of love and cheerfulness, than rigorous efficiency with a cost of aggravation and disappointment.

Life will never be perfect. Schedules will never run perfectly. Just when you think you have it all figured out, life will change. But living that life with grace for yourself and others will smooth out the wrinkles.

Often what we’re so stressed about today doesn’t even matter by next week. What does hang around is the damage to relationships and memories caused by our negative attitude and words. Be sure to keep the big picture in mind while you’re ironing out the details to deal with your circumstances.

Follow FF on Facebook

Follow FF on Facebook

Follow FF on MeWe

Have Tea With Me!

  • Facebook
  • Pinterest
  • YouTube

The Catholic Wife and Young Lady’s Maglets!

Beautiful, Feminine Aprons for Sale!

Rosaries, etc.

Recent Posts

  • Help Your Child to Discover and Develop His Gifts
  • The Happiness of Family Life ~ My Prayer Book
  • False Goods and Friendship ~ St. Francis de Sales / New Podcast! Holy Week ~ Maria von Trapp
  • Overcoming Sadness, Discouragement, etc.
  • Why Am I Unhappy? ~ Jesus Dies on the Cross

Recent Comments

maryarc on The Happiness of Family Life ~…
maryarc on False Goods and Friendship ~ S…
maryarc on “Lady Day” ~ March…
maryarc on Overcoming Sadness, Discourage…
maryarc on Why Am I Unhappy? ~ Jesus Dies…

Archives

Categories

  • About the Angels
  • Achieving Peace of Heart – Fr. Narciso Irala
  • Activities
  • Advent/Christmas
  • Alice Von Hildebrand
  • An Easy Way to Become a Saint
  • Attitude
  • Baby Charlotte
  • Be Cheerful/Helps to Happiness
  • Beautiful Girlhood
  • Book Reviews
  • Books by Leane
  • by Alice von Hildebrand
  • by Anne Kootz
  • by Charlotte Siems
  • by Emilie Barnes
  • by Father Daniel A. Lord
  • by Father Daniel Considine
  • by Fr. Edward Garesche
  • by Leane Vdp
  • by Maria Von Trapp
  • by St. Francis de Sales
  • by Theresa Byrne
  • Cana is Forever
  • Catholic Book of Character and Success
  • Catholic Family Handbook – Fr. Lovasik
  • Catholic Family Handbook, Rev. George A. Kelly
  • Catholic Girl's Guide
  • Catholic Hearth Stories
  • Catholic Home Life
  • Catholic Mother Goose
  • Catholic Teacher's Companion
  • Charity
  • Cheerful Chats for Catholic Children
  • Christ in the Home – Fr. Raoul Plus S.J.
  • Clean Love in Courtship – Fr. Lovasik
  • Courtship and Marriage and the Gentle Art of Homemaking
  • Creativity
  • Dear NewlyWeds-Pope Pius XII
  • Educating a Child ~ Fr. Joseph Duhr
  • Education
  • Events
  • Family Life
  • Fascinating Womanhood
  • Father Walker
  • Father's Role
  • Feast Days
  • Femininity vs Feminist
  • FF Tidbits
  • Finances
  • Finer Femininity Maglet!! (Magazine/Booklet)
  • Finer Femininity Podcast
  • For the Guys – The Man for Her
  • Friendship
  • Give-Aways
  • Guide for Catholic Young Women
  • Health and Wellness
  • Helps to Happiness
  • Hospitality
  • How to be Holy, How to be Happy
  • Inspiring Quotes
  • It's the Little Things…
  • Joy
  • Kindness
  • Lent
  • Light and Peace by Quadrupani
  • Loving Wife
  • Marriage
  • Modesty
  • Motherhood
  • My Shop – Meadows of Grace
  • Organization Skills
  • Parenting
  • Patterns
  • Peace….Leaving Worry Behind
  • Personalities/Temperaments
  • Plain Talks on Marriage – Rev. Fulgence Meyer
  • Podcasts – Finer Femininity
  • Power of Words
  • Prayers
  • Praying
  • Printables
  • Questions People Ask About Their Children – Fr. Daniel A. Lord
  • Questions Young People Ask Before Marriage, Fr. Donald Miller, C.SS.R., 1955
  • Reading
  • Recipes
  • Rev. Fulton Sheen
  • Sacramentals
  • Scruples/Sadness
  • Seasons
  • Seasons, Feast Days, etc.
  • Sermons
  • Sex Instructions/Purity
  • Singles
  • Smorgasbord 'n Smidgens
  • Special Websites
  • Spiritual Tidbits
  • Tea-Time With FinerFem – Questions/My Answers
  • The Catholic Youth's Guide to Life and Love
  • The Christian Home ~ Celestine Strub, OFM
  • The Everyday Apostle
  • The Holy Family
  • The Mass/The Holy Eucharist
  • The Rosary
  • The Wife Desired – Father Kinsella
  • Tidbits for Your Day
  • Traditional Family Weekend
  • True Men As We Need Them
  • True Womanhood, A book of Instruction for Women of the World, Rev. Bernard O'Reilly, L.D., 1893
  • Virtues
  • Vocation
  • Will Training by Rev. Edward Barrett
  • Womanhood
  • Youth
  • Youth's Pathfinder
  • Youth/Courtship

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Blogroll

  • Discuss
  • Get Inspired
  • Get Polling
  • Get Support
  • Learn WordPress.com
  • Theme Showcase
  • WordPress Planet
  • WordPress.com News

Disclosure Policy

This site contains affiliate links. Read more details here: Disclosure Policy

Powered by WordPress.com.

 

Loading Comments...