Category Archives: Femininity vs Feminist

Femininity & Modesty (Part One) by Leane VanderPutten

18 Tuesday Apr 2023

Posted by in by Leane Vdp, Femininity vs Feminist, Modesty, Smorgasbord 'n Smidgens

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by Leane VanderPutten

Part Two is here.

Femininity… Femininity and modesty…. what beautiful pictures these two words bring to mind! Pictures of gracefulness, poise, dignity, elegance, generosity, tenderness, softness, etc.

G.K. Chesterton say “The important thing for a country is that the men should be manly, the women womanly.” This comment of Chesterton’s represents a basic principle of social order that is so much needed at this time in our nation and in our world.

We are meant for a high calling in this world, to be an example of goodness, wholesomeness and faith in a world gone crazy. As women, we achieve this purpose with our special qualities of being a woman.

At the National Catholic Rural Life Conference, 1946, Janet Kaven had this to say:

“The deepest difference among human beings–far more fundamental than any difference of intelligence or ability, nation or race– is the difference of sex.

This basic difference is not merely physical but also psychological, coloring the total personality. In the whole range of her being – her mind, her senses, her emotions, her will, her interests and reactions – woman differs profoundly from man.”

These profound differences SHOULD be very visible to the eye…through the way the woman carries herself, the way she acts and talks and walks….and the way she dresses.

My girls and I like to approach the subject of modesty in a positive light. Although the reason for being modest can be negative (we don’t want to cause sin) we especially like to bring out what the amazing benefits are of being a modest, lovely woman.

The Catechism of the Council of Trent says “Charm of person is one of God’s gifts to women and girls. That charm is not lost, but enhanced, by modest dress.”

Pope Pius XII agreed with this, saying, “Your zeal, however, against immodest forms of dress and behavior must be not only destructive, but also constructive, by showing in practice how a young woman can, in her dress and deportment, harmonize the higher laws of virtue and the norms of health and elegance.”

He also says:

A young lady can be modest, cultured, sportive, gracious, natural and distinctive, without submitting to all the vulgarities of an unwholesome fashion.

Pope Pius XII on the youth and modesty….

“Independent of the use of dress to hide physical imperfections, youth asks from dress that it highlight the splendor that sings of the joyful springtime of life and favor – following the norms of modesty –that is, young ladies can wear modest dresses that attract young men in order to marry them.”

As we can see by these words of Pope Pius XII, the use of clothing is very influential and is a source of powerful communication. Let’s use it wisely!

Pope Pius XII declared: “It might be said that society speaks through the clothing it wears. Through its clothing it reveals its secret aspirations and uses it, at least in part, to build or destroy the future.”

What would you say that today’s clothing reveals about our country’s aspirations?

God has made the human body beautiful. Immodest attire neither contributes to the promotion of the human person nor to the establishing of the Kingdom. The modesty practiced by Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Saints is obtainable in this day and age and is necessary for us.

I found these definitions of “modesty”:

1) Freedom from vanity

2) Decency of behavior, speech and dress

3) Simplicity and moderation

Three simple points that cover a lot of character building.

Let me tell you a bit about my own journey into femininity and modesty. My beginnings were rocky when it came to enhancing my femininity.

I grew up in a big city, Regina,  the capital city of Saskatchewan  in the middle of Canada. I lived in not a great neighborhood; it wasn’t horrible…but not great.

You see, we, my brothers and I pretty much had to fend for ourselves. My mom and dad worked full time. Mom was finally able to come home BUT I was already a teenager. So I was pretty much on my own all those years…I became a pretty tough girl. At least it seemed like it from the outside. I had to find my way in an atmosphere that definitely wasn’t conducive to femininity or modesty.

I went to Catholic schools all the way up through High School. It was right in the middle of a big city, girls and boys of all walks of life went to them….Protestant and Catholic. The Church was very liberal and was no help when trying to form young ladies into young women. Jeans, halter tops, shorts, tank tops, swimsuits were all the norm of the day.

I have five other siblings but it was mostly my three brothers (because my other two siblings were born much later) that I grew up with. We (boys, some quite big, and then the girls, too)  played tackle football, Pom-Pom Pullaway (which was another tackle sport) and many other rather brutal games…at least for a girl. I was involved in Track and Field and won several awards. I wasn’t big, but I was fast.

When one of the classmates was asked who was the toughest girl in the class, he said it was a draw between Vivian  (a big Italian girl) and well… lil’ old me.  Now wasn’t THAT something to be proud of?! Yikes!

It’s true, I drew a certain amount of respect from the guys and gals around me…but it wasn’t a respect for my femininity, that is for sure! I had a tough exterior…because I was insecure on the inside, like a lot of young girls that age. We just manifest it in different ways.

As time went on and I was growing into young womanhood, I realized my physique was not perfect…perfect, you know, like those women on TV with the long flawless legs and the flat tummies, etc. I started to become very self-conscious. There is a lot of pressure to look that way, isn’t there, and  vulnerable, young women, can easily fall into the trap.

This awakening to what I thought were huge physical imperfections was very hard on me. I loved swimming, I was involved in ballet, gymnastics, tap dancing and drama…but as time went on I found that each of these extra-curricular activities caused me to expose parts of my body that I did not want to advertise.

I remember the last few times I had a ballet or drama performance, I was increasingly uncomfortable to wear what the event called for. The last play that I was involved with (and I usually had one of the leading parts) I instead chose to be just in charge of the stage props and the stage curtain.

This change in me wasn’t necessarily for the right reasons…yet. I was just horribly self-conscious. This self-consciousness actually saved me from a lot of grief. In hindsight I was able to see the Hand of God in this gift.

Thus began my modesty journey. Isn’t it amazing how God uses these very crosses that can be so hard to eventually become a tool for our happiness…If we just see it through, look for answers in the right places and have an open heart to these answers.

Many of my best friends couldn’t withstand the pressures of the times and fell for the first man that turned their heads. Each of these relationships started off on the wrong foot. This could’ve easily happened to me, growing up without the guidance needed.

Someone was indeed praying for me.

I want to pause here to remind all of us that no matter how badly we may feel about ourselves for whatever reason, be it physical, emotional, spiritual, mistakes we have made, what the negative people in our lives have told us, Our Lord is there for us.

He wishes to show us the way and often it is these very hardships that help us to reach UP and become the person God wants us to be….

So let’s not think of our trials as something negative. God’s Hand is in our lives and is leading us through them…

It was at this time, when I was about 19 years old, that, after working very hard at a job for many summers, I found myself the head secretary at an office that had a warehouse in the back. I was the only woman who worked there, except during the busy summer months, and the warehouse had several young men working full time.

Most of the time, I wore jeans to work…the guys thought of me as… pretty much….one of the guys.

Every once in a while, I got some sort of bee in my bonnet, and I would put on a dress. I don’t know what got into me….I guess that femininity was trying to peek out. It was interesting to see the knee-jerk reactions of these same coworker guys who didn’t give me a second glance normally.

As I approached a door, if they were around, they’d make the effort to scramble towards the door in order to open it for me. Well, now, wasn’t that interesting? A skirt…that’s all it took. I was the same Leane that worked with them day in and day out. ….they didn’t even notice me when I came to work on other days….”Open your own door:” was very much understood.

I was surprised with their reaction.. They also treated me with more respect, in general. It was very noticeable. At the time, I just made a mental note of it.

I grew up in the Novus Ordo, which was very liberal at that time, went to a Catholic school all my life, rubbed shoulders with priests and nuns and yet, when I came out of High School I did not know about the True Presence of Our Lord in the Eucharist.

When I was about 20 years old I was introduced to the Latin Mass. If there is one thing you notice when you go to the Old Mass the first few times….there is Someone special there. How do you know? By all the externals surrounding the Mass. The genuflections, the general silence and then the extreme silence during the Consecration. The reverence, kneeling while receiving, receiving on the tongue,etc. You don’t need a sermon to tell you that Our Lord is present. You see it through the externals.

You can bring little children to Mass and without saying a word, they know that something special is happening….Someone special is there.

Externals count.

I remember reading an article about the Latin Mass. It said that the liturgy will actually form who we are, if we give it enough time. The more we attend, the more It will change us on the inside..

Well, I feel the same way about our dress.

There is a saying….

“The body is the shell of the soul, and the dress the husk of that shell. But the husk often tells what the kernel is.”

What is that saying to us? Our externals matter. Our husk, our clothing, reveals who we are on the inside. And on the reverse, our mode of dressing, will work to change us intimately, too.

The virtuous person will manifest this virtue through the use of proper dress.

From Cardinal Siri:

“The clothes a person wears conditions, determines and modifies that person’s gestures, attitudes and behavior such that from merely being worn on the outside clothing comes to impose a particular frame of mind on the inside. So when a person changes their dress it will change how that person views her self-image. On the converse of that, if she has a distorted self-image, it will be manifested in her dress.”

“Women who go back to dressing like women find an inner change which occurs within them. They feel more feminine. Which is a good thing…femininity is a perfection proper to a woman. And those perfections are very admirable.

The virtue of modesty will attract a worthy man. A virtuous man turns away from what is immodest. So if a woman wants to attract a man it’s a matter of dressing like a woman.” -Fr. Chad Ripperger

After I committed to dressing modestly (and I took the bull by the horns and committed to dresses and skirts)…which I did before I met my husband and while I was working at a Catholic Shrine in North Dakota, I found myself slowly changing.

Automatically, without much notice on my part… I changed the way I sat, the way I held myself, the way I walked, the games I played, etc.

I thought it was quite amusing when, one day, as were sitting in the refectory, one of the respected elderly ladies, who was sitting across from me, said to her friend, and I don’t remember how it came about, that “Leane was the most mannerly and feminine woman that she knew!”

Who? Me? The toughest girl in class? The girl who dared to tackle even the biggest boy on the football field? It really was quite funny…but I was pleased. I liked this respect a lot more than what I got measuring up to “one of the guys” because women have an innate desire to femininity. They just don’t know it and are not taught how to embrace and enhance it.

I had the support of the community there at that time so it was relatively easy to be modest in that environment.  But then my first big challenge came up. I had a two-week trip planned with my best friend, who was a Protestant, to go to my brother’s home several miles away to spend a couple weeks kicking up our heels.

We stopped and took pictures along the way….me in my dress, my friend in her jeans. We hiked on some of the mountains along the way. I did everything she did. She accepted me and the steps I was making…but I could tell she didn’t understand it…but she DID respect me for it.

There were questions when I got to my brothers and some uncomfortable moments…but I actually did it! I made it through that trip meeting all sorts of people, going to events and…dressing with dignity! And I never looked back. And I feel so blessed that I started my married life with modesty high on the list…what a blessing!

Let me also pause here to reiterate that our clothing is a very personal thing, along with the journey that goes with it. I am not telling you how to do it. I am not telling you how far to reach and to what extreme.

I also am not the last word on modesty and I don’t claim to have all the answers. But it is good to search our hearts and see what changes we CAN make in order to enhance the beauty, not of our bodies, but of our Catholic femininity. Not frumpy…but beautiful.

A couple of quotes…

“There is a difference between dressing attractively, and dressing to attract.”

“Your character is the picture and your appearance is the frame.  The frame should complement the picture, not distract from it.”

It is a wonderful and beautiful challenge in this journey towards becoming more Mary-like in our day and age. And we will see many blessings come from it! Maybe some hardships, too, but all good things are wrought through struggle. It helps us grow in character.

Something for us to remember….No one gets the crown — without the conflict!

Pertaining to that, lest we recoil from the conflict….

From J.R. Miller written in the early 1900’s

“The daily temptations which make every true life such a painful conflict from beginning to end — bring us constant opportunities for growth of character. To struggle — is to grow strong. The soldier’s art can be learned, and the soldier’s honors can be won — only on the field of battle.

“If you would grow into the beauty of the Master, you must accept the conflicts, and fight the battles. You can live easy if you will, by declining every struggle — but you will then get little out of life which is truly noble and worthy. The best things all come after the battle — you must fight your way across the field to get them.. No one gets the crown — without the conflict!

Here is a quote from Brian Holdsworth, a Catholic husband and father, with a renowned Youtube channel “Women are by nature captivating and beautiful and there’s something in the essence of femininity that would be lost if they dressed like men.”

I started dressing modestly at the Catholic Shrine where modesty was the norm. I only brought along with me conforming attire. I didn’t have to agonize about my favorite articles of clothing going in the giveaway pile. That didn’t mean my struggle with that kind of thing was over. And I think my girls will attest to this. We have certain favorite pieces of clothing that are hard to move on from.

I will tell you this…each time I got rid of that certain piece of beloved clothing….and when I say get rid of…I mean to give it away, throw it away, get it out of reach so it doesn’t sit there to tempt me into finding excuses to dumb down my resolutions…. I was rewarded with a greater resolve and a deepening of the certainty that what I was doing was good.

I find that this part of my life, when looking on it in hindsight, has been one big reward. We’ve had our struggles, our bumps…but it has so much paid off. Each of my girls, and I have seven daughters, strive for modesty. They are firmly grounded on the road of Femininity.

And they are not a condemning, self-righteous, modest bunch. They love to dress lovely. It is a positive modesty. We dress for the seasons. We make accessories that look pretty. We invest in pretty scarves, in lacy overlays.

Truly, dressing modestly can be fun…if we are not focusing on the “cant’s” but on the “cans!” Imagine the legacy of that?? I have 41 grandchildren and counting…. And those little girls will grow up spreading the beauty of femininity throughout our broken world. God is good.

Not everyone will have this experience and have found the beauty of modesty later on in their journey. All I can say is…God supplies and goes more than halfway. My mom was much older when she began to dress modestly. And it still had its profound effect on me.

I thought she was crazy, sure! I was her biggest opposition…I’ll repeat that…I was her biggest opposition when it came to the modesty thing.

She preached at times. I disliked it and argued with her. But deep inside something was stirring….

And guess what?! God blessed her and helped her persevere and I grabbed on to the torch and am working on finishing her modesty journey.

We must never get discouraged. Our changes, no matter what season of life, affect everyone around us! They may berate us, but never mind. We are doing this for a beautiful and holy purpose and Our Lady will help us! And Our Lord will bless us! And maybe even bring those other people in our lives around….like my mom did with me.

🌸“Boys and girls must be taught as tiny tots to love modesty. Even though they are too young to sin, they can and ought to be impressed with the beauty of modesty. Training in modesty is pre-eminently the function of the home, to be begun from earliest childhood.” -Archbishop Meyer of Milwaukee

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In this ground-breaking book, Colleen Hammond challenges today’s fashions and provides you the information you need to protect yourself and your loved ones from the onslaught of tasteless, immodest clothing. Colleen Hammond shares real-life examples of how women can accentuate the grace and beauty of their femininity, and she shows that modest definitely does not mean frumpy !! DRESSING WITH DIGNITY covers it all . . . The history and forces behind the changes in fashion. How to talk to teenagers about the privilege of femininity so they will want to dress with dignity. How to awaken chivalry in men and be treated with respect. How to regain and teach the lost charm of interior and exterior femininity! How to dress in an attractive, dignified, classy manner! Specific documents about manners of dress from the Magisterium, the Popes and the Saints. Comprehensive guidelines for choosing tasteful attire. Resources on where to find beautiful, modest clothing. And much, much more!

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Three Extraordinary Women ~ True Womanhood

10 Friday Mar 2023

Posted by in Family Life, Femininity vs Feminist

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Do you not think you have influence. O Woman of Faith? Your very hidden life of courage and duty touches the lives of others and resounds throughout society, as has been the case all through history!

from True Womanhood – Rev. Bernard O’Reilly

When we remember who these early Christians were whose sweet and virginal piety was praised by St. Clement, we are filled with astonishment at the total and sudden transformation which the truth of the gospel, the knowledge and imitation of Christ and his Virgin Mother effected in the most ill-famed city of the pagan world and the most abandoned population known to history.

The very name of Corinth was odious to the ancient Romans of the true republican era, and when she (Corinth) fell beneath the Roman arms, she was utterly blotted out, lest the simplicity and austerity of the conquering race should become corrupt by contact with the voluptuous city.

Ancient_corinthA Roman colony was afterward planted there, and Corinth arose once more from her ruins on that enchanted shore, shorn indeed of her greatness and power, but scarcely less infamous than her former self.

It was like the alkali plains of our Western territories, where nothing seems able to grow but the sagebrush which saddens the eye. No sooner had St. Paul preached there, practicing all that he preached, than piety, purity, and modesty, all the gentle virtues of Mary’s home at Nazareth, spread with the faith from house to house in Corinth, till the infant church there resembled a society of angelic men and women.

In soil deemed hitherto incapable of producing a single fruit of heavenly modesty, the cross of Christ had been planted; the curse of centuries was removed, and the land began to be fair with flowers of supernatural promise.

What was the part of woman in this extraordinary renovation?

Three women are mentioned in the New Testament as having been associated with the apostles in the work of planting and fostering the Christian faith in the beautiful city and its dependencies…Prisca or Priscilla, Chloe, and Phebe, revered as saints from the apostolic times by the churches of the East and West alike.

It was in the house of Prisca that St. Paul took up his abode when he first arrived at Corinth. Her husband, Aquila, was, like Paul himself, a tent-maker; for it was the admirable custom, even of the highest and most wealthy Jewish families, to teach every one of their sons some trade or handicraft, which might place them above want, and thereby secure their independence, when persecution or adverse fortune deprived them of country and riches.

Aquila had been expelled from Rome by the Emperor Claudius just before Paul’s arrival on the Isthmus of Corinth, and was working at his craft of tent-maker, weaving for that purpose the hair of the Phrygian goat into a much esteemed and water-proof cloth.

Their common craft was a first bond of intimacy between the great apostle and this household; the Christian faith drew them still closer together. At any rate, though Priscilla and her husband opened their home and their hearts to the apostle and the divine message which he bore, we know from Paul himself that he would be beholden to no one for his support and that of his fellow-laborers in the gospel.

Still that laborious and well-ordered household became the cradle of Christianity in Western Greece, the first sanctuary in Corinth where the Divine Mysteries were celebrated, and the word of God explained to the highest and lowest among the proud, cultivated, and pleasure-loving population.

Not unlike Priscilla was Chloe, in all probability also a married woman, while Phebe, the female apostle of Cenchrese, the eastern suburb and seaport of Corinth, was unmarried, a deaconess, and the first fruits, on that long-polluted land, of the Virgin-Life destined to be so fruitful of holiness in Christian Europe.

Priscilla and her husband followed Paul to Ephesus in Asia, a city scarcely less ill-famed than Corinth, where the devoted and energetic wife shared the mortal dangers which beset the apostle, and instructed in the Christian faith the accomplished and eloquent Apollos, who was sent to Corinth to continue there the good work so gloriously begun.

When Paul was sent in chains to Rome, the noble woman and her worthy husband forsook every thing, risked even life itself to be near him, and to share his labors and perils.
Priscilla’ s house in Rome became a church, a center of Christian activity and charity, and Chloe and Phebe’ s names are associated with hers in the heartfelt commendations of the imprisoned apostle, and the undying gratitude and veneration of every succeeding age.

Most blessed, therefore, of God and man was the sweet and gentle piety as well as the unbounded hospitality of these early Christian homes.

When I suffer much, when things that are painful and disagreeable, befall me, instead of assuming an air of sadness, I respond by a smile. At first I was not always successful, but now it is a habit, which I am very happy to have acquired.

St. Francis de Sales gives us some words of warning on the company we keep: ‘Be very careful, therefore, dear reader, not to have any evil love, because you will in turn quickly become evil yourself.
Friendship is the most dangerous of all love. Why? Because other loves can exist without communication, exchange, closeness. But friendship is completely founded upon communication and exchange and cannot exist in practice without sharing in the qualities and defects of the friend loved.’

We should get used to extracting from ordinary day-to-day life whatever can increase our joy, rest, and legitimate satisfaction, and whatever can fill us with optimism. There is a thrill of joy and satisfaction in the thought that we are the objects of God’s love and can ourselves sincerely love Him…

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The famous novelist Louis de Wohl presents a stimulating historical novel about the great St. Thomas Aquinas, set against the violent background of the Italy of the Crusades. He tells the intriguing story of St. Thomas who – by taking a vow of poverty and joining the Dominicans – defied his illustrious, prominent family’s ambition for him to have great power in the Church. The battles and Crusades of the 13th century and the ruthlessness of the excommunicated Emperor Frederick II play a big part in the story, but it is Thomas of Aquino who dominates this book. De Wohl succeeds notably in portraying the exceptional quality of this man, a fusion of mighty intellect and childlike simplicity. A pupil of St. Albert the Great, the humble Thomas – through an intense life of study, writing, prayer, preaching and contemplation – ironically rose to become the influential figure of his age, and he later was proclaimed by the Church as the Angelic Doctor.

Seriously wounded at the siege of Pamplona in 1521, Don Inigo de Loyola learned that to be a Knight of God was an infinitely greater honor (and infinitely more dangerous) than to be a Knight in the forces of the Emperor. Uli von der Flue, humorous, intelligent and courageous Swiss mercenary, was responsible for the canon shot which incapacitated the worldly and ambitious young nobleman, and Uli became deeply involved in Loyola’s life. With Juanita, disguised as the boy Juan, Uli followed Loyola on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land to protect him, but it was the saint who protected Uli and Juan. Through Uli’s eyes we see the surge and violence of the turbulent period in Jerusalem, Spain and Rome.

Louis de Wohl has again created an exciting and spiritually inspiring novel for all readers of historical fiction.

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Love ~ Christ in the Home

06 Monday Mar 2023

Posted by in Christ in the Home - Fr. Raoul Plus S.J., Femininity vs Feminist

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By Father Raoul Plus, S.J., 1950’s

Why does a woman desire a man? Why does a man desire a woman? What is the explanation of that mysterious attraction which draws the two sexes toward each other?

Will anyone ever be able to explain it? Will anyone be able to exhaust the subject?

One fact is certain: Even aside from the physiological aspect of the problem, the effeminate man does not attract a woman; she makes fun of him, finds him ridiculous. So too the masculine woman weakens her power of attraction for a man, and ends by losing it entirely.

The age-old spell which each sex casts upon the other is closely allied to the fidelity with which each exactly fulfills its role. If woman copies man and man copies woman, there can be comradeship but love does not develop.

In reality, they are nothing more than two caricatures, the woman being degraded to the rank of a man and a second-rate man at that, and the man to the rank of a manikin in woman’s disguise. The more feminine a woman’s soul and bearing, the more pleasing she is to a man; the more masculine a man’s soul and bearing, the more pleasing he is to a woman.

We do not mean to say that between two poor specimens of either sex there will never be any casual or even lasting sexual appeal and experience. But we can hardly, if ever, call it love.

If men and women are no more than two varieties of the same sex, a sort of neuter sex, the force which creates love disappears. Normally, as we say in electrical theory, opposite charges must exist before any sparks will shoot forth. Bring into contact two identical charges and there will be no effect; electricity of opposite polarities must be used; then and then only will there be reaction.

In the realm of love, the general rule is the same. In fact, man and woman are two different worlds. And that is as it should be, so that the eternal secret which each of them encloses may become the object of the other’s desire and stimulate thirst for a captivating exploration.

That is love’s strange power. It brings two secrets face to face, two closed worlds, two mysteries. And just because it involves a mystery, it gives rise to limitless fantasies of the imagination, to embellishments in advance of the reality. So that one finally loves all toward which one rows.

Whether that toward which one rows is an enchanted island or one merely believes it is, what ecstasy!

Comes the meeting, the consecration of the union by marriage; each brings to the other what the other does not possess. In the one, delicate modesty and appealing reserve; in the other, conquering bravery. A couple has been born. Love has accomplished its prodigy.

Yet, how true it is, that having said all this, we have said nothing. The reality of love is unfathomable.

Could it be perhaps because it is the most beautiful masterpiece of God?

“Marriage has been chosen as the image of the perfect union between the soul and Christ because in marriage, likewise, the center and core is love. No other earthly community is constituted so exclusively in its very substance by mutual love.” -Dietrich von Hildebrand

 

🌸💞I want to be able to lay my head down at night knowing I have connected with those things that matter most…..
So that when my life is at its close it can be said, “You have run the race, you have fought the good fight.” and I will be remembered, not for what I have accomplished, but for HAVING LOVED WELL….. -Finer Femininity

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Fr. Raoul Plus’s no-nonsense prayer manual, How to Pray Always, remedies these problems by dispelling the false notions of prayer we all have and showing how we can, in fact, pray without ceasing even at times when exhaustion cripples us and cares threaten to sweep us away.

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Woman’s Gift of Receptivity ~ Alice von Hildebrand / The Winner of the FF Giveaway is….

07 Tuesday Feb 2023

Posted by in by Alice von Hildebrand, Femininity vs Feminist, Womanhood

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by Alice von Hildebrand, The Privilege of Being a Woman

Another great gift that God has granted the female nature is the gift of receptivity. This is not to be confused with passivity as Aristotle does when he claims that the male is superior to the female because he is “active,” whereas she is passive.

Clearly passivity is inferior to activity, for one is only being “acted upon.” But this is not true of receptivity which involves an alert, awakened, joyful readiness to be fecundated by another person or by a beautiful object.

All created persons are essentially receptive because “there is nothing that we have not received.”

Women feel at home in this receptivity and move in it with ease and grace. This is already inscribed in their biological nature: a wife giving herself to her husband accepts joyfully to be fecundated, to receive. Her receptivity is a self-giving.

But the marvel of childbirth is that even though she has only received a living seed — so microscopic that it is invisible to the human eye — after nine months she gives her spouse a human being, with an immortal soul made to God’s image and likeness.

The moment of conception takes place hours after the marital embrace, but when the sperm fecundates the female egg we can assume (even though it has never formally been taught by the Church) that at that very moment God creates the child’s soul — a totally new soul which, being immaterial, cannot be produced by human beings. God therefore “touches” the female body in placing this new soul into the temple of her womb.

This is another incredible privilege that the Creator grants to women. During pregnancy, she has the extraordinary privilege of carrying two souls in her body. If those unfortunate women who consider having an abortion were conscious of this, it is most unlikely that any of them would consent to the crime.

It is worth mentioning that while it is the husband who fecundates his wife, one says “she has given herself to him,” implying that this receptivity is also a unique donation: To accept to receive is a very special gift.

There are some unfortunate persons who would prefer to die than to receive, for the very thought of being indebted is repulsive to them.

Kierkegaard writes about the demonic despair in which a man prefers the torments of hell to accepting help, “the humiliation of becoming nothing in the hands of the helper for whom all things are possible …”

To accept her state of creaturehood is easier for a woman than for a man, who is always tempted to be in command. How many men revolt at their metaphysical dependence; how many men resent being sick and weak and therefore forced to rely on the help of others?

Authentic creativity in creatures depends upon their degree of receptivity; to use Platonic language, he who produces without having opened himself to fecundation by God will produce “bastards.”

Much of what is called “modern art” falls into this category, because the temptation of many artists today is no longer to serve, but to “express” themselves.

In this context, Gertrud von le Fort writes: “The artist who no longer gives God the honor, and instead proclaims only himself, must, by excluding the religious element from culture, practically eliminate also its womanly quality.”

In childbirth, this creative miracle that stems from womanly receptivity is, as we saw, exemplified in a unique way. It finds its climax in the words of the Blessed Virgin who only said “yes” to God’s offer; she did not “do” anything, she simply said: “be it done to me according to Thy word.”

As soon as she uttered these holy words, she conceived the Savior of the world in the mystery of her blessed womb. She carried in the temple of her female organs the King of the Universe Whom the whole universe cannot contain.

Important as the role of the father is, women collaborate in a very special way with God’s creation of new human beings who are called upon to serve Him in this life and enjoy Him forever in heaven.

Receptivity is a religious category par excellence. The key to holiness is to let oneself be totally “reformed” by divine grace, to say to God, “do with me whatever you will.”

Mary said to the servants at the wedding in Cana, “Do whatever He tells you.” That is the way to holiness. Because this characteristic is so crucial in religious life, it explains why the liturgy calls women “the pious sex.”

As long as women are faithful to their “religious” calling the world is safe. But the threat menacing us today is precisely the metaphysical revolt of feminists who have totally lost sight of their vocation because they have become blind to the supernatural.

At the turn of the century, the French academy offered a prize to the person who best answered the following question: “Why are there more men than women in jails?” The award was given to the person who wrote, “because there are more women than men in churches.”

One dreads to think of the possibility that “the pious sex” would let itself be convinced that prayer is only for the weak and the incompetent, meaningless for those aiming at greatness.

Here is a truth worth meditating upon: Women are more geared to piety because they have a keener awareness of their weakness. This is their true strength.

As the educator and trainer of the immature minds and wills entrusted to you by God, your vocation is difficult. It calls for many qualities that are virtues in themselves: zeal, painstaking effort, patience in weariness, and the humility that joyfully stoops to the level of the child. It is hard work, and the temptation must come at times to abandon the effort and take life easy. Only the seriousness of the undertaking and the knowledge that it is done for God can sustain the untiring effort demanded. – Father Lawrence Lovasik

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This is a unique book of Catholic devotions for young children. There is nothing routine and formal about these stories. They are interesting, full of warmth and dipped right out of life. These anecdotes will help children know about God, as each one unfolds a truth about the saints, the Church, the virtues, etc. These are short faith-filled stories, with a few questions and a prayer following each one, enabling the moral of each story to sink into the minds of your little ones. The stories are only a page long so tired mothers, who still want to give that “tucking in” time a special touch, or pause a brief moment during their busy day to gather her children around her, can feel good about bringing the realities of our faith to the minds of her children in a childlike, (though not childish), way. There is a small poem and a picture at the end of each story. Your children will be straining their necks to see the sweet pictures! Through these small stories, parents will sow seeds of our Holy Catholic Faith that will enrich their families all the years to come!

This revised 1922 classic offers gentle guidance for preteen and teenage girls on how to become a godly woman. Full of charm and sentiment, it will help mother and daughter establish a comfortable rapport for discussions about building character, friendships, obedience, high ideals, a cheerful spirit, modest dress, a pure heart, and a consecrated life.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Being Selfish is NOT Okay

20 Tuesday Sep 2022

Posted by in Femininity vs Feminist, Loving Wife

≈ 3 Comments

Femme Elegante II by Andrea Laliberte

From:  The Good Wife’s Guide: Embracing Your Role as a Helpmeet by Darlene Schacht

While switching channels one day, I happened upon an interview. Since they were talking about family, it caught my attention so I paused to listen.

“Family… children…” I heard those words. Could she have the same passion and convictions as I? I turned up the volume anxious to hear more.

Unfortunately what I heard didn’t resemble Christian living by any stretch of the imagination. In fact it was so absurd that I turned the television off and considered cutting cable altogether.

My stomach was in knots over the attitude of acceptance that prevailed in this interview and the fact that they let this guest have air time.

After working overseas for a few months, this woman simply decided that she didn’t want to be a mother any longer. She walked away from her two children (ages 3 and 5) and her husband of 20 years to build a career.

While away, she missed her kids, but she “didn’t miss when they were throwing up seven times during the middle of the night, and getting a call asking, ‘Can you wash pillows?’”

What has this world come to when children are discarded like items on a yard sale table? When we say, “I don’t want to handle the responsibility that comes with being a parent, so I’ll step away—while someone else carries my load.”

It’s one thing to buy a pair of boots and change your mind a month or two down the road; it’s an entirely different thing to walk away from responsibility because life isn’t what we hoped it would be.

“Everybody has their own choices,” she said, “but my choice works for us and I think it’s not so selfish for women to say “Okay, I would like to have my own priority, I would like to have something in my life. I would like to be able to do my job.’”

“Not so selfish?” Is she serious?

That statement is the very definition of the word selfish: Devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interest, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others. (Dictionary.com)

As wives and mothers we can and should have our own interests, but when our primary concern is our “self” to the point that we become our first priority, we have given in to a selfish nature that isn’t lined up with scripture.

Unselfish Love

Everyone has the right to make their own choices—we do, but when those choices affect the welfare of children, we as a society should be moral enough to stand up against these ideas and teach women that being selfish is not “okay.”

Titus 2 exhorts women to love their children and to be keepers of the home. That doesn’t mean that we can’t have our own interests or earn extra money, but it does mean that we are to prioritize family because that’s what love does.

Love is not self-seeking. When you truly love someone you get up in the middle of the night to wash pillows, regardless of how much those sheets stink, or how tired you are.

The Problem – Or Is It?

In 1963, Betty Friedan published a book called The Feminine Mystique. For only .75 cents a copy, women would find the answers to “the problem that has no name.” This book was the catalyst for the second–and what appears to be the most damaging–wave of women’s liberation.

“The problem is always being the children’s mommy, or the minister’s wife and never being myself.”- Feminine Mystique, Chapter 1

Apparently there was a “problem” that was plaguing housewives of the day, and according to the author, this problem could be fixed. If women turned inward and began to focus on their needs, their careers, and their happiness, they would find the happiness and sexual fulfillment they had been missing out on all along.

Since the author wasn’t able to give “the problem” a name–let me. It’s called, “sacrificial love,” and according to the Bible, it’s the only love worth giving.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Was there really a “problem” or were a few women creating an issue that didn’t exist?

I pray that women today will step up and realize the fallacy that this teaching offers. Seeking fulfillment by putting our own needs ahead of others brings temporal highs that fade quickly.

If you’re seeking true joy with long-lasting results, it can only be found by building virtue upon faith. That’s where you’ll find fulfillment, and that’s where you’ll find your true purpose in life.

Turning Back the Clock

I’m not always politically correct. But as you might have noticed, that doesn’t stop me from sharing what I see as truth.

I’ve been accused of single-handedly turning back the clock on women’s rights, and I can see where that accusation is coming from. Joyfully serving your family? Submitting to your husband? Letting him be the head of your household?

These ideas are fading into the past as modern women would prefer to wear the proverbial pants in the family–or at least a matching pair.

I’d like to address the question on everyone’s lips, “Why should husbands get the final say?” I’ll start by saying this; letting him have the final say doesn’t mean that you can’t have a discussion and share your ideas.

A good marriage should have channels of communication by which husbands and wives both offer ideas and determine solutions. There should be mutual respect where both parties give and take of each other’s thoughts. And there needs to be an attitude of acceptance where both a man and his wife can offer their voice.

But at the end of the day, he gets the executive vote. But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. ~ 1 Corinthians 11:3.

More importantly than the obvious fact that men and women are different, the reason we submit to our husbands is because we are commanded in scripture to do so.

God’s wisdom doesn’t always sit right with mankind, and it doesn’t have to.
Faith tells me that His wisdom exceeds mine and therefore I put my trust in His infallible Word. Yes, that’s politically incorrect, and to some it may be viewed as turning back the clock on women’s rights. I get that.

But really, what are the rights of a woman? Better said, what are the rights of mankind? Certainly we’re given our constitutional rights, but who gives us those rights? The way I look at scripture, we’re given one right and only one–the ability to choose. Anything and everything else we are given is grace.

If that’s turning back the clock on women’s rights, then I say turn it back and keep turning it back until men and women accept scripture as truth that is both applicable and beneficial to families today.

And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve… but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

“Think of the Queen of Heaven and Lady of the World as humble housewife at the same time that she is mother and caretaker of God’s Son. It makes me sigh of tenderness, fills me with goodwill and love for the small and great chores of the home. How fragrant would be the robes that this pure lily washed. How tasty would be the food her delicate hands prepared. From her holy lips, not a whisper, no complaint or claim, only praise and sweet words. A life of worship and continuous obedience, in the freedom of those who choose to love – were she to kneel in prayer or clean the floor.” -Veronica Mendes, A Mulher Forte

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This booklet contains practical advice on the subjects of dating and choosing a spouse from the Catholic theological viewpoint. Father Lovasik points out clearly what one’s moral obligations are in this area, providing an invaluable aid to youthful readers. Additionally, he demonstrates that Catholic marriage is different from secular marriage and why it is important to choose a partner who is of the Catholic Faith if one would insure his or her personal happiness in marriage. With the rampant dangers to impurity today, with the lax moral standards of a large segment of our society, with divorce at epidemic levels, Clean Love in Courtship will be a welcome source of light and guidance to Catholics serious about their faith.

A Frank, Yet Reverent Instruction on the Intimate Matters of Personal Life for Young Men. To our dear and noble Catholic youths who have preserved, or want to recover, their purity of heart, and are minded to retain it throughout life. For various reasons many good fathers of themselves are not able to give their sons this enlightenment on the mysteries of life properly and sufficiently. They may find this book helpful in the discharge of their parental responsibilities in so delicate a matter.

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From Paganism to Modern Values: Denigration of Woman ~ Alice von Hildebrand

08 Friday Jul 2022

Posted by in Alice Von Hildebrand, Femininity vs Feminist

≈ 3 Comments

Painting by Gregory Frank Harris

by Alice von Hildebrand, The Privilege of Being a Woman

From Paganism to Modern Values: Denigration of Woman

The world in which we now live is a world whose outlook is so distorted that we absolutize what is relative (money-making, power, success) and relativize what is absolute (truth, moral values, and God).

Power, riches, fame, success, and dominance are idolized; humility, chastity, modesty, self-sacrifice, and service are looked down upon as signs of weakness.

This last sentence, Nietzsche’s philosophy in a nutshell — the glorification of strength and the denigration of weakness — has become the shallow core of modern thought and feminist belief.

The gravity of their offense was such that it was impossible for our first parents to recover the priceless gift of supernatural life. God alone could do so and, in His infinite mercy and goodness, He chose to send us His only Son to effect our redemption by His death at Calvary.

As every sin brings with it its own punishment, is it surprising that today we have become so morally blind (for wickedness blinds) that we save baby whales at great cost, and murder millions of unborn children?

Man’s conscience has been so darkened by his repeated infidelities toward God that these outrageous murders are no longer registered as being crimes that cry to heaven. Baby murderers go to bed with a good conscience and the satisfaction of having been “efficient.”

Bernard Nathanson, in his gripping work The Hand of God, relates that after having performed an abortion he had the pleasant feeling of having completed a work well done and of having “liberated” pregnant women from a burden hateful to them. Babies are cheap to make. Baby whales are more costly.

Our first parents’ minds were darkened by sin, their wills were weakened, their judgment became distorted. The hierarchy of values being upset, male accomplishments became overvalued. Physical strength became glorified and weakness was looked down upon as a proof of inferiority.

This is written in the book of Wisdom, referring to the language of the ungodly: “but let our might be our law of right, for what is weak proves itself to be useless.”

Homer’s Iliad illustrates this. The Greek heroes are strong, healthy, victorious. Those who are conquered and defeated deserve to become slaves; they are plainly inferior. It is noteworthy that the greatest cultures have often been defeated by primitive tribes that had little or no culture, but plenty of physical daring and stamina.

Hand in hand with the overestimation of strength and virility goes an overestimation of accomplishments, feats, performances, success.

In our society to be a “self-made man” calls for awe. A Bill Gates, an Oprah Winfrey, or even a Bill Clinton inspire people with a totally illegitimate feeling of admiration. But success does not guarantee authentic greatness. Many scoundrels have been incredibly successful, too successful for their own good.

Original sin blinds us to the fact that all these feats, often aided by ruthlessness, craftiness, or even plain luck, have no value in the light of eternity. We should always raise the question: Quid est hoc ad aeternitatem? (What is this in light of eternity?). In fact, it is only dust and ashes.

No one enters the gates of heaven because he is a millionaire; no one is worthy to see God because he is “famous.” Indeed, worldly “wisdom” is sheer foolishness.

This has been seen by Socrates, and emphatically repeated by Saint Paul, “for the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.”

Against the background of the supernatural, the inanity of human praise becomes evident.

A further consequence of this broken equilibrium is that we tend to overrate “creativity.” To be successful in our contemporary world, one must be “inventive.” Creativity does have a positive ring, but the crucial question is not whether a person is “creative,” but rather “what does he create?”

To praise an innovative type of architecture without asking whether or not it is beautiful is inane. To honor someone because of the number of books and articles he has published without investigating whether or not they are true is once again to be off-track.

The lopsided view which today has gained currency inevitably leads feminists to overrate “creativity,” “novelty,” and “fashion,” changes sought for their own sake; these tickle people’s curiosity and draw them into the vortex of total metaphysical instability.

It is another way of drawing attention away from “eternal truths” and unchanging values.

The spirit of the time teaches us that today everything depends upon what is “in the air,” what people want. In this spiritual climate, tradition is doomed. The past is looked down upon as “dead, ” as having nothing to give to “modern man.”

As women are weaker than men, and as they do not bask in the limelight as much as men do, as they are less “creative” than the strong sex, they are bound to be the victims of this distorted hierarchy of values.

That women have been victimized by this distortion of the hierarchy of values is deplorable and sad indeed; but that feminists have endorsed this inversion is still more pitiful.

Imprisoned in the spiritual jail of secular categories, they fail to understand that their true mission is to swim against the tide and, with God’s grace, help restore the proper hierarchy of values.

By living up to their calling, women will succeed in guaranteeing a proper recognition of the unique value of femininity and its crucial mission in the world.

“And you, too, must stand by your convictions at the cost of things you love. An ideal is worth little if it is not worth wholehearted, honest effort. Nothing is more pitiful than a woman whose mind admires purity and right, yet whose will is too weak to choose them and whose life is blighted by sin and mire about her. Be true, be noble, aim high, and God will give you strength to keep your ideals.” – Mabel Hale, Beautiful Girlhood

Through the years our children would sometimes ask (because they knew we struggled) if we were poor? Their Dad would grin (largely) and say, “I am the wealthiest man around, look at what I have….Beautiful children, happy times, the Catholic Faith!” Their hearts would be at ease once again, knowing that, yes, wealth is not about material things…

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This is a unique book of Catholic devotions for young children. There is nothing routine and formal about these stories. They are interesting, full of warmth and dipped right out of life. These anecdotes will help children know about God, as each one unfolds a truth about the saints, the Church, the virtues, etc. These are short faith-filled stories, with a few questions and a prayer following each one, enabling the moral of each story to sink into the minds of your little ones. The stories are only a page long so tired mothers, who still want to give that “tucking in” time a special touch, or pause a brief moment during their busy day to gather her children around her, can feel good about bringing the realities of our faith to the minds of her children in a childlike, (though not childish), way. There is a small poem and a picture at the end of each story. Your children will be straining their necks to see the sweet pictures! Through these small stories, parents will sow seeds of our Holy Catholic Faith that will enrich their families all the years to come!

This revised 1922 classic offers gentle guidance for preteen and teenage girls on how to become a godly woman. Full of charm and sentiment, it will help mother and daughter establish a comfortable rapport for discussions about building character, friendships, obedience, high ideals, a cheerful spirit, modest dress, a pure heart, and a consecrated life.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Nurturing the Gift of Femininity

20 Friday May 2022

Posted by in by Emilie Barnes, Femininity vs Feminist

≈ 3 Comments

I do enjoy Emilie Barnes’ enthusiasm and joy as she relishes in her femininity and shares her zeal with us!

From The Spirit of Loveliness by Emilie Barnes

At its best, our femininity arises naturally out of who we are and finds its expression in the way we live our lives and make our homes. But in our hectic, hard-driving society, it’s easy to lose track of our gentle, feminine side.

Femininity is something we must nurture in ourselves and in our homes, and celebrate as God’s gift to us.

Femininity can be cultivated in many ways. A few drops of fragrant oil or perfume in the bathwater. A daisy on your desk. A lace scarf or an embroidered hanky in your pocket. A crocheted shawl around your shoulders.

Whatever awakens a calm and gentle spirit within you will nurture beauty in your life.

The expression of femininity is a very personal thing, for it is an expression of a woman’s unique self. It is closely tied with identity and with style. Many of the most feminine women I know develop a signature or trademark that marks their distinctiveness.

One woman always wears hats. Another enhances her distinctive presence with a favorite fragrance. Still another adopts a theme or motif that becomes part of her identity.

My friend Marilyn’s theme is roses. All her correspondence is “rosy,” whether with a sticker, a rubber stamp, or her own distinctive stationery. Her home, too, is full of roses – on everything from bedspreads to dessert dishes to rose-scented potpourri.

Marita, one of my publicists, loves rabbits. When she was little, her nickname was “Bunny,” and she has carried this trademark into adulthood.

Marita and her husband, Chuck, have bunny T-shirts and bunny candle holders, and at one time even a live bunny as a pet. Anytime I see anything thing with a rabbit on it I think of Marita, and at Christmas or on her birthday she always gets a bunny gift. Finding personalized presents is fun for me and Marita. It’s one way of celebrating her unique, feminine personality.

Rejoicing in the Senses

Femininity includes a wholesome sensuality – a rejoicing in the fragrances and textures and sounds of God’s world.

We honor God and express our own femininity when we become excited about the beauty around us, when we cultivate the senses that God created in us.

What is the first thing you do when you pick a rose? You put it to your nose to enjoy the fragrance. How does it make you feel? Maybe it brings a pleasant memory of that little girl inside you – of a time when you picked a flower for your mother or grandmother.

Beautiful fragrances can waft the beauty of femininity all around the house. A lavender sachet thrown in your underwear drawer, sewing box, or stocking box-or hung on a hanger in the closet-imparts its delicate fragrance at the most unexpected times.

Spray a little cologne on your notepaper, the bathroom throw rug, or even the toilet bowl. Fill your house with pine at Christmas, or boil a little pot of cinnamon and other spices on the stove.

And enjoy your other senses as well. Put on lively music while you do your housework, and take time out to dance before the Lord.

Experiment with herbs and spices in your cooking, and don’t be afraid to try new dishes. Slipcover a rough-textured sofa with a cool, smooth sheet, and banish your scratchy, uncomfortable sweaters.

There is nothing self-indulgent or worldly about such small pleasures when we approach them with a spirit of gratitude because God’s gifts help us go about the tasks he has given us.

When we feel that the little things in our lives are pleasant and satisfying, it’s amazing how the outside stresses and disappointments fade, at least for the moment.

We can then regroup, prioritize, and pray – cultivating a quiet, feminine spirit and preparing ourselves to be God’s people in the world.

 

“Boys need that self-assured belief that they can do anything to grow into men of action and achievement—but they’ll never build that confidence if Mom and Dad never give them real responsibility. We have to give important jobs to our kids, and then we have to trust them and not worry about them messing up. It would certainly be easier for us to just do the hard stuff ourselves and let our boys play, but our goal isn’t to do what’s easy. It’s to raise men.” – Chasity Akiki

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Oh how powerful is the Holy Rosary with God and His Holy Mother! It can do all things for us. Listen Sr. Lucia of Fatima sum up everything I have been trying to impart to you today: “The Most Holy Virgin in these last times in which we live has given a new efficacy to the recitation of the Rosary to such an extent that there is no problem, no matter how difficult it is, whether temporal or above all spiritual, in the personal life of each one of us, of our families…that cannot be solved by the Rosary…..

 

 

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This revised 1922 classic offers gentle guidance for preteen and teenage girls on how to become a godly woman. Full of charm and sentiment, it will help mother and daughter establish a comfortable rapport for discussions about building character, friendships, obedience, high ideals, a cheerful spirit, modest dress, a pure heart, and a consecrated life.

With his facile pen and from the wealth of his nation-wide experience, the well-known author treats anything and everything that might be included under the heading of home education: the pre-marriage training of prospective parents, the problems of the pre-school days down through the years of adolescence. No topic is neglected. “What is most praiseworthy is Fr. Lord’s insistence throughout that no educational agency can supplant the work that must be done by parents.” – Felix M. Kirsch, O.F.M.

 

Necessary advice to Catholic parents building a Catholic home. Reliable advice that is almost completely lost today, from people who know how it’s done. How to make it. How to live it. How to keep it. This book covers every aspect of Catholicizing your home–from spiritual matters like prayer and catechism to nuts and bolts topics like Keeping the Family Budget, Games and Toys, Harmony between School and Home, Family Prayers, Good Reading in the Home, Necessity of Home Life and much more

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

 

The Task of the Woman in the Modern World

19 Wednesday May 2021

Posted by in Femininity vs Feminist, FF Tidbits

≈ 7 Comments

Pamphlet from the National Catholic Rural Life Conference in 1946 concerning the function of woman in the social order. Its message is applicable today, to help a Christian “woman know her power, her role, her destiny” in today’s world.

National Catholic Rural Life Conference, 1946, written by Janet Kalven

“The important thing for a country is that the men should be manly, the women womanly.” This comment of Chesterton’s embodies a fundamental principle of social order. In society, as in any organism, unity and order are achieved through the cooperation of very different members, each fulfilling his own functions and contributing his special qualities to the common good.

The deepest difference among human beings–far more fundamental than any difference of intelligence or ability, nation or race– is the difference of sex. “And God created man to His own image: to the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

This basic difference is not merely physical but also psychological, coloring the total personality. In the whole range of her being–her mind, her senses, her emotions, her will, her interests and reactions–woman differs profoundly from man.

It is obviously of the greatest importance that this difference find its proper expression in the social functions of the two sexes. Each has unique qualities to contribute to the enrichment of human life. It is essential for the full and harmonious development of society, and especially for a Christian society, that “the men should be manly, the women womanly.”

Man and woman are made to complement each other at every point. Man’s capacity for theory, for forming an abstract and comprehensive view, is matched by woman’s practical sense and her gift for detail.

Man’s ambition and self-assertion which spur him on to great achievement must be balanced by the creative power of woman’s spirit of sacrifice and self-surrender. Man’s ability for leadership and desire for power must be tempered by woman’s spirit of love and selfless devotion.

The undue predominance of either masculine or feminine qualities creates profound disturbances which reverberate throughout the entire social structure, as we can see in our own culture.

In our time we need women with a vision of their great task as women who will help to restore the social equilibrium by creating a vital current of the great womanly virtues: the spirit of love, compassion for the suffering, generous self-sacrifice.

As women our fundamental contribution to the new order lies in finding our proper role in society. Our most urgent task in the work of reconstruction is to face this problem: What is the function of woman in the social order?

The Universal Mission of Woman

Woman’s essential mission in the world is to be for mankind a living example of the spirit of total dedication to God. To love God with her whole heart, her whole mind, her whole strength, and to radiate that love to the world—this is the universal task of woman. It is true that every human being is made for the love of God and is meant to be totally consecrated to His praise. In what sense, then, can we say that it is the particular mission of woman to be both an example and guide of man along the way of dedication?

There are two poles, two principles in human nature. Father Gerald Vann, O.P., in his recent book, The Heart of Man, distinguishes these two basic tendencies as “man the maker” and “man the lover.” Both principles are present to some extent in every human being, but man the maker is realized most perfectly in man; man the lover in woman. It is the maker who asserts, who imposes his idea and his will on the surroundings. The race takes its forward motion along the way of organization and invention from him. It is man the lover who gives, who yields his own will and gladly surrenders not only his will but his very self to the beloved.

Mankind has always recognized that love plays a far greater role in woman’s life than in man’s. Every woman when she looks into her own heart finds there the deep desire to surrender herself completely in love. Woman is by nature total in her giving; love absorbs her whole being. Byron was expressing the common experience of mankind when he wrote:

“Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart
‘Tis Woman’s whole existence.”

In relation to God, we must all fulfill the role of the lover, awaiting the divine initiative, surrendering completely to the divine will. As C. S. Lewis writes so beautifully, “Our role must be always that of patient to agent, female to male, mirror to light, echo to voice. Our highest activity must be response, not initiative. To experience the love of God in a true and not an illusory form is therefore to experience it as our surrender to His demand, our conformity to His desire.”

Christian tradition has often expressed man’s relation to God in the beautiful phrase: the soul is the bride of Christ. But woman’s nature has the greater innate affinity for the bridal role, for the act of loving surrender.

That is why woman has been throughout Christian history a symbol and example of the spirit of complete consecration to God. Woman’s natural capacity for wholehearted giving of herself in love is the basis for her glorious supernatural vocation. It is her function to help to lead mankind to God by becoming herself a radiant example of total dedication to His will.

The lover’s surrender opens the way for the action of God’s grace in the world. “The world can be moved by the strength of man, but it can be blessed in the real sense of the word only in the sign of woman,” writes Gertrude von Le Fort.

It is first of all to Our Lady that these words apply. In her, the universal mission of woman, the lover, was fulfilled most completely. Her “fiat” is the perfect expression of the creature’s wholesouled surrender to the creator, and through her surrender the fullness of blessing entered into the world. These words may be applied, too, to the universal task of womankind, for it is the function of every woman to re-echo the “fiat” of Mary and thus to become a source of blessing to humanity.

One who, in order to please God, perseveres in prayer although he finds no consolation in it, but rather repugnance, gives Him a beautiful proof of true love. –Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, Divine Intimacy

Review: Love these!! So far I’m only on the Spring edition but I love it! Short little inspiring blips here and there that a busy mom and wife can pick up and put down and receive encouragement and inspiration for the day to live out her Catholic faith and vocation! Thank you so much for putting these maglets together! The seller is wonderful with communication and didn’t hesitate to fix the problem when I hadn’t received my order. Meadows of Grace is a wonderful, personable, and professional shop that I will definitely return to!
All 5 Maglets! Finer Femininity is a small publication compiled to inspire Catholic women in their vocations. It consists of uplifting articles from authors with traditional values, with many of them from priests, written over 50 years ago. These anecdotes are timeless but, with the fast-paced “progress “of today’s world, the pearls within the articles are rarely meditated upon. This little magazine offers Catholic womankind support and inspiration as they travel that oftentimes lonely trail….the narrow road to heaven. The thoughts within the pages will enlighten us to regard the frequently monotonous path of our “daily duties” as the beautiful road to sanctity. Feminine souls need this kind of information to continue to “fight the good fight” in a world that has opposing values and seldom offers any kind of support to these courageous women. Inside the pages you will find inspiration for your roles as single women, as wives and as mothers. In between the thought-provoking articles, the pages are sprinkled with pictures, quotes and maybe even a recipe or two…Available here.

A masterpiece that combines the visions of four great Catholic mystics into one coherent story on the life of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Based primarily on the famous revelations of Ven. Anne Catherine Emmerich and Ven. Mary of Agreda, it also includes many episodes described in the writings of St. Bridget of Sweden and St. Elizabeth of Schenau. To read this book, therefore, is to share in the magnificent visions granted to four of the most priviledged souls in the history of the Church.

In complete harmony with the Gospel story, this book reads like a masterfully written novel. It includes such fascinating details as the birth and infancy of Mary, her espousal to St. Joseph and her Assumption into Heaven where she was crowned Queen of Heaven and Earth.

For young and old alike, The Life of Mary As Seen by the Mystics will forever impress the reader with an inspiring and truly unforgettable understanding of the otherwise unknown facts concerning Mary and the Holy Family. Imprimatur.

He was called the man of his age, the voice of his century. His influence towered above that of his contemporaries, and his sanctity moved God himself. Men flocked to him–some in wonder, others in curiosity, but all drawn by the magnetism of his spiritual gianthood. Bernard of Clairvaux–who or what fashioned him to be suitable for his role of counseling Popes, healing schisms, battling errors and filling the world with holy religious and profound spiritual doctrine? Undoubtedly, Bernard is the product of God’s grace. But it is hard to say whether this grace is more evident in Bernard himself or in the extraordinary family in which God choose to situate this dynamic personality. This book is the fascinating account of a family that took seriously the challenge to follow Christ… and to overtake Him. With warmth and realism, Venerable Tescelin, Blesseds Alice, Guy, Gerard, Humbeline, Andrew, Bartholomew, Nivard and St. Bernard step off these pages with the engaging naturalness that atttacks imitation. Here is a book that makes centuries disappear, as each member of this unique family becomes an inspiration in our own quest of overtaking Christ.

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The Secret of Femininity

26 Monday Oct 2020

Posted by in Femininity vs Feminist, FF Tidbits

≈ 1 Comment

Femininity is a beautiful thing…and Mary Reed Newland teaches us to relish in it. Let it be a light to the world around us who has seen a very negative side of womanhood. Let’s bring it back, Ladies!

Below is pictures of the two tea parties we have had in the past two months…a lovely way to express our femininity!

From The Spirit of Loveliness, Emilie Barnes

When I was a little girl, I used to dream of being a “lady.” The world of Little Women, with its gracious manners and old-fashioned, flowing dresses fascinated me.

Softness and lace, tantalizing fragrance and exquisite texture, a nurturing spirit and a love of beauty-these images of femininity shaped my earliest ideas of loveliness.

Is that kind of femininity a lost value today? I don’t believe it. The world has changed, and most of us live in simple skirts or business suits or jeans instead of flowing gowns. But I still believe that somewhere in the heart of most of us is a little girl who longs to be a lady.

I also believe that today’s world is hungering to be transformed by the spirit of femininity. What better antidote for an impersonal and violent society than warm, gentle, feminine strength?

What better cure for urban sprawl and trashed-out countrysides than a love of beauty and a confidence in one’s ability to make things lovely?

What better hope for the future than a nurturing mother’s heart that is more concerned for the next generation than for its own selfish desires?

All these qualities – gentle strength, love of beauty, care and nurturing – are part of femininity.

Being a woman created by God is such a privilege – and the gift of our femininity is something we can give both to ourselves and to the people around us.

Just one flower, one candle, can warm up a cold, no-nonsense atmosphere with an aura of “I care.” Women have always had the ability to transform an environment, to make it comfortable and inviting. I believe we should rejoice in that ability and make the most of it.

This doesn’t mean we have to follow a set pattern or adopt a cookie-cutter style. Specific expressions of femininity vary greatly.

When I think “feminine,” I usually think of soft colors, lace, and flowers. I love ruffled curtains and flower-sprigged wallpaper, delicate bone china and old-fashioned garden prints. And I feel especially beautiful when I’m dressed up in soft and colorful fabrics.

But I know women with vastly different styles who still exude that special quality I call femininity -women who wear tailored tweeds or casual cottons (or gardening “grubbies”) with an air of gentleness ness and sensitivity.

Women who fill sleek modern kitchens or utilitarian office cubicles with that unmistakable sense of warmth, caring, and responsiveness. Women who combine self-confidence and an indomitable spirit with a gracious humility and a tender teachability.

Women who wear the spirit of femininity with the grace with which they wear their favorite elegant scent.

To me, the spirit of femininity is expressed in objects chosen for their beauty as well as their usefulness… and lovingly cared for. It is people accepted and nurtured, loveliness embraced and shared.

More important, the spirit of femininity is the spirit of care and compassion. In my mind, the most feminine woman is one with an eye and ear for others and a heart for God.

“Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself…do not be disheartened by your imperfections, but always rise up with fresh courage.”
Introduction the the Devout Life― St. Francis de Sales

 

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With his facile pen and from the wealth of his nation-wide experience, the well-known author treats anything and everything that might be included under the heading of home education: the pre-marriage training of prospective parents, the problems of the pre-school days down through the years of adolescence. No topic is neglected. “What is most praiseworthy is Fr. Lord’s insistence throughout that no educational agency can supplant the work that must be done by parents.” – Felix M. Kirsch, O.F.M.SaveSaveSave

Necessary advice to Catholic parents building a Catholic home. Reliable advice that is almost completely lost today, from people who know how it’s done. How to make it. How to live it. How to keep it. This book covers every aspect of Catholicizing your home–from spiritual matters like prayer and catechism to nuts and bolts topics like Keeping the Family Budget, Games and Toys, Harmony between School and Home, Family Prayers, Good Reading in the Home, Necessity of Home Life and much more .

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Masculine and Feminine Roles

23 Wednesday Sep 2020

Posted by in Fascinating Womanhood, Femininity vs Feminist

≈ 5 Comments

Fascinating Womanhood, Helen Andelin, 1950’s

Man’s Role: Guide, Protector, Provider,

Woman’s Role: Wife, Mother, Homemaker

The masculine and feminine roles, clearly defined above, are not merely a result of custom or tradition, but are of divine origin. It was God who placed the man at the head of the family when he told Eve, “Thy desire shall be unto thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

The man was also designed to be the protector, since he was given stronger muscles, greater physical endurance, and manly courage. In addition, God commanded him to earn the living when he said, “In the sweat of thy face shall thou eat bread, till thou return to the ground.” This instruction was given to the man, not to the woman. (Gen. 3: 16, 19)

The woman was given a different assignment, that of helpmeet, mother, homemaker.

In Fascinating Womanhood we apply the word helpmeet to mean the role of the wife as she offers understanding, encouragement, support, and sometimes help.

Since she is biologically created to bear children, her role as a mother is unquestioned.

Her homemaking role is assumed: She must nurture her young and run the household, to free her husband to function as the provider. (Gen. 2: 18)

The masculine and feminine roles are different in function but equal in importance.

In Henry A. Bowman’s book Marriage for Moderns he compares the partnership of marriage to a lock and a key which join together to form a functioning unit. “Together they can accomplish something that neither acting alone can accomplish. Nor can it be accomplished by two locks or two keys. Each is distinct, yet neither is complete in and of itself.

Their roles are neither identical nor interchangeable. Neither is superior to the other, since both are necessary. They are equally important.

Each must be judged in terms of its own function. They are complementary.”

Division of Labor

As you can see, the design for the human family is based on a division of labor.

You may be interested to know that modern research has proven this ancient plan to be the best means of people working together. In the 1970s several large industries in America joined forces in a research project to discover the best system for people to work together in groups, especially to get along with one another, without contention.

Part of their study took place in hippie communes which had begun earlier, in the sixties. These idealistic groups were not based on a division of labor, but on equality.

Men and women shared equally in all daily chores. Women worked side by side with men in the fields or building shelters. The men shared household chores and care of the children.

The interesting discovery was this: They found that equality didn’t fit masculine and feminine differences. Women were better at some jobs and men at others.

Women’s hands, more delicately formed, were better for mending and sewing on buttons. Men were more capable of hauling and shoveling.

The most significant discovery, however, was that when they shared work equally, they didn’t get along with one another. There was contention, frequent hostility, and even hatred. Such dissension caused whole communes to fall apart.

The conclusion of the research was this: The best way to work in groups is by a division of labor. What a perfect plan God designed for the family.

The greatest success in marriage occurs when husband and wife devotedly live their respective roles.

On the other hand, the greatest problems occur when either of them fails to perform his or her duties, or when one steps over the boundaries and forcefully takes over the partner’s role, or shows an anxious concern for performance or lack of performance.

To succeed in your role, accept your womanly duties with a keen sense of responsibility. Let it be your concern, your worry. You can of course employ servants, or assign your children to help. But you are the one who must see that it’s done.

To further succeed, learn the feminine arts and skills. Learn to cook, clean, and manage a household. Learn the womanly art of thrift and how to rear children. Forget about yourself and devote yourself to the welfare and happiness of your family.

“One secret of a sweet and happy Christian life is learning to live by the day. It is the long stretches that tire us. We think of life as a whole, running on for us. We cannot carry this load until we are three score and ten. We cannot fight this battle continually for half a century. But really there are no long stretches. Life does not come to us all at one time; it comes only a day at a time.” -My Prayer Book, Father Lasance http://amzn.to/2mwR5u6 (afflink)

Painting by Emile Munier, 1880

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Why do we wear our best clothes on Sunday? What was the Holy Ghost Hole in medieval churches? How did a Belgian nun originate the Feast of the Blessed Sacrament? Where did the Halloween mask and the jack-o’-lantern come from?

Learn the answer to these questions, as well as the history behind our traditional celebration of Thanksgiving, in this gem of a book by Father Weiser.

Celebrate the Faith with your kids all year round!

For over half a century, Catholic families have treasured the practical piety and homespun wisdom of Mary Reed Newland’s classic of domestic spirituality, The Year and Our Children. With this new edition, no longer will you have to search for worn, dusty copies to enjoy Newland’s faithful insights, gentle lessons, and delightful stories. They’re all here, and ready to be shared with your family or homeschooling group. Here, too, you ll find all the prayers, crafts, family activities, litanies, and recipes that will help make your children ever-mindful of the beautiful rhythm of the Church calendar.This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.