Acquiring Self-Mastery ~ Educating the Child

19 Friday Aug 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Educating a Child ~ Fr. Joseph Duhr, Parenting

Painting by Arthur John Elsley

Educating the Child by Father Joseph Duhr, S.J.

THE MAIN MEANS OF ACQUIRING THIS SELF-MASTERY: EFFORT

This self-mastery requires the child to have an energetic and tenacious will, capable of resisting the impulses of his instincts. In other words, effort must be at the basis of education.

Pope Pius XII teaches us to “oppose the immoderate search for pleasure and moral indiscipline – which also seek to invade the ranks of young Catholics by making them forget that they bear within themselves a fallen nature, sorry inheritance of Original Sin – with education in self-mastery, sacrifice and renouncement, starting with the smallest things and working up to the most important ones; education in fidelity to the accomplishment of one’s own duties, in sincerity, in serenity and in purity, especially during those years where development ends in maturity”.

Despite its incontestable merits and its definitive discoveries, the new pedagogy – in its legitimate desire to favor the stimulation and blossoming of life – tends to neglect this austere and unpleasant side of formation. Nevertheless, it remains primordial, and Emmanuel Mounier has risen to its defense against certain recent theorists:

“It would be completely illusory”, he says, “to think that we can totally outlaw unpalatable effort and rid it from education. If certain utopian viewpoints have believed that this was possible (and if they have been given some credence), then we must partly blame those who, on the opposite end of the spectrum, have only wanted to see education as a process of constraint and interdiction – in other words, a form of dressage or animal training.

These constraints are necessary when dealing with wild and rebellious forces. However, it is not only by supporting and pruning that you form a man. The best way of ensuring that a tree develops into a solid and durable being is to expose it to invigorating light and to give it the space it needs so that it will grow to the greatest stature of which it is capable.

In this task, deciding the dose of discipline and spontaneity should vary from person to person: those who only understand force will need to be held tightly, whereas others whose generosity of spirit makes them capable of accomplishing great things and who are irritated and depressed by meticulous exercise, will only be suffocated by close surveillance.

However, as a rule, it is true to say: “seek first the man and his will shall be added unto you”. To live, then – so long as we are here below – is to accept to die. Each important decision is a renouncement, a curtailment. Every growth is a “becoming” which requires us to practice constant renunciation.

Far from helping him to acquire this liberating self-restraint, softness and permissiveness doom the child to becoming a slave to his instincts. Bishop Dupanloup’s warning addressed a number of years ago to easy-going parents remains fully relevant today:

“We get great amusement from our little ones…We flatter them and allow them to be flattered by others…, by fawning women who try to obtain their affection by means of a shallow and dangerous pampering, indulging their fantasies and seemingly getting great pleasure out of encouraging their most wicked young passions…

Suddenly, with horror, we realize that a distressing aridity and profound depravity have taken hold of their souls. In the end, these beautiful children become terrifying beings, and it is only too late that we realize that children spoiled by softness are the hardest, most ungrateful, despicable creatures in existence…”

Why all these vices? Simply because, at the age when carnal concupiscence is aroused, softness and idleness naturally become impurity. Impurity, irritating both the nerves and sensitivity of the heart, makes intolerable tyrants of them. Tyrants, for the simple reason that they are now nothing more than lamentable slaves of their passions. Woe to the rich who make their children’s lives soft and easy. “The more children are denied, the stronger they will be” (F. Charmot).

As we will develop in more detail later, this apprenticeship in effort must begin from the cradle. As the child grows up, we must inculcate regularity and exactitude in him. Without necessarily going so far as to establish a detailed daily timetable, parents will at least set the times at which the child must get up and go to bed, and firmly insist on these being followed.

While adapting to the abilities and strengths of each child, they must require attentive application to and careful completion of any work (school or otherwise) imposed. Toys and other objects, books and notebooks must be put away after use. Special attention should be given to insisting on order and cleanliness.

An untidy child will most likely remain negligent all throughout his life. Taste for exterior beauty, on the other hand, naturally arouses and maintains the desire for and love of moral beauty.

What foolishness on the part of the mother who, seeing that her little daughter was doing “sacrifices” advised her not to on the grounds that, “She’ll have enough to suffer later on”. The child must be encouraged to fight courageously against his selfishness, to be polite, kind and considerate towards others – his brothers and sisters, friends and schoolmates.

In this matter (as in all), we must lead by example. Parents should demonstrate what it means to courageously live an ordered life. “To guide your children”, Antoine Rédier writes, “you must inconvenience yourself…For it is not a question of reasoning, but of willing – a question of character.

Ordering your children’s lives will sometimes involve correcting the disorder in your own life. Mothers have so much to do today, with visits, shopping, the automobile – so many sources of dissipation – that it is very difficult for them to attend at the correct time to the thousand and one little things which clamor for their attention at home. So, they simply put them off, thinking that everything can be sorted out by kisses and protestations of love, or a slap – the only solution seems to be to either constantly give in or to get angry”.

It is only insofar as the child masters his greed, selfishness and laziness that he will be capable of resisting the attraction of evil which will besiege him later in life. Today, more than ever, it is a question of conquering or be conquered. The child will only be able to “live” if he first conquers the courage to be victorious.

Don’t insist on perfection. Expecting perfection from yourself and others is a setup for disappointment. Things won’t go as planned and you won’t be perfectly organized. Let it go. This, too, shall pass. -Charlotte Siems

There is one way that Ernie will never stop growing. Do you know what that is? He should never stop growing in grace. Ernie, and all of us, always need to work on filling ourselves up with grace…

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The Purpose of Education ~ “Humanity in Bloom”

22 Wednesday Jun 2022

Posted by Leanevdp in Educating a Child ~ Fr. Joseph Duhr, Education

≈ 1 Comment

Painting by Carl von Bergen, 1853

Educating a Child: The Art of Arts by Father Joseph Duhr

THE PURPOSE OF EDUCATION

Definition of Education

An essential duty

Childhood is the future in promise and in hope, or, as Bishop Dupanloup so nicely put it, “humanity in bloom”. “The child or adolescent”, explains His Holiness Pius XII, “is a hope full of promise for the family, for the fatherland, and for all human society; he is also a hope for the Church, for Heaven, for God Himself, Whose son he is and must be”.

“What an one, think ye, shall this child be?” – Quis putas, puer iste erit? (Luke, I, 66) – they asked, as they gathered around the cradle of Saint John the Baptist. This same question spontaneously comes to mind each time a new child is born. And no matter how often this question is asked, the answer will be the same: “This child shall be whatever his parents help him to be”. There is hardly a father or (especially) mother who, contemplating their newly born, does not feel the heavy responsibility of developing the treasure of life which has been confided to their care.

One such parent – the Frenchman Frédéric Ozanam, founder of the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul – expressed this delicate and profound sentiment in the following moving terms: “…A new gift has come to reveal to me what is probably the greatest joy a man can experience on this earth: I am a father!

Sir, what a moment it was when I heard my child’s first cry, when I saw this little creature – an immortal creature, nonetheless – whom God placed in my hands, who brought me so much sweetness, but also so many obligations! We will start his education early, just as he will start our re-education – for I see that Heaven has sent him to teach us many things and to make us better.

I cannot look on this sweet being, full of innocence and purity, without seeing there the sacred mark of the Creator, less obscured than it is in us. I cannot think of this immortal soul for which I will have to render an account without feeling more imbued with the sense of my duties. How will I be able to teach him, unless I first put into practice what I want him to learn? Could God have chosen a more lovable means of instructing me, of correcting me and of placing me on the path to Heaven?”

“Children”, Foerster observes, “are like the bells of Easter – they are the signal of the resurrection for man’s most noble aspirations”. By his mere presence, the child reminds his parents of their right to raise him, as well as of their first and most important duty.

“The family”, teaches Pius XI in his encyclical on Christian education, “holds directly from the Creator the mission and hence the right to educate the offspring, a right inalienable because inseparably joined to the strict obligation, a right anterior to any right whatever of civil society and of the State, and therefore inviolable on the part of any power on earth”.

More concisely, but just as clearly, Canon Law requires parents to always remember that they have “the very grave obligation to do all in their power to attend to the education of their children”.

A sublime undertaking

Three words, equally rich in meaning, describe the goal which parents must pursue in their task of developing the life of their children. They must form them, educate them and raise them.

FORM THEM

In everyday language, “to form someone” means to cultivate one of their aptitudes using the most appropriate and efficacious methods available. We call a “master” someone who initiates us to a particular area of expertise.

Every trade or profession, whether it be that of electrician or engineer, requires an apprenticeship. No man, no matter how exceptionally talented, can do without the experience of others if he wants to succeed in his chosen profession. Regardless of how much he applies himself to mastering a science or skill, the self-taught man or amateur will never be a “professional” instructed in all the secrets of his art.

To form a child is to teach him his first and most essential occupation: that of being a man. In Divini illius Magistri, Pius XI tells us that education consists essentially in the formation of man. Before being a builder, an artist, an architect, an engineer or a physiotherapist, a man must behave as a man. It is up to parents to teach their child how to do this. Left to himself, he will never master his most important trade.

EDUCATE THEM

This formation of children is an “education”. The word comes from the Latin “educere”, meaning to “draw out” or “elucidate”. It consists in freeing up and bringing to fruition the riches, beauty and potential which are hidden in the heart and soul of the child.

The acorn which is planted today is already the oak of tomorrow. To become the majestic tree whose curled-up branches are capable of resisting the onslaught of the mighty wind, all that is needed is for its life forces, enclosed in that tiny acorn, to be gradually developed through the action of the sap, the sun and the air.

The oak “rises out of”, “draws itself from” (educitur) the acorn. Similarly, the complete man is already present in the child in the form of a seed.

Another comparison, borrowed from the art of photography, illustrates the same idea. Individuals and landscapes captured by the photographer only appear on the film when they have been “developed”. In the same way, education must, little by little, “reveal” those invisible treasures yet hidden in the soul of the child.

RAISE THEM

“Formation” and “education” understood in the sense in which we have just outlined necessarily result in “growing” or “raising” the child. It is unfortunate that the English language allows us to improperly assimilate the “raising” of animals such as horses, dogs and cats with the entirely different “raising” of children. Even though such use of language is not altogether incorrect, neither is it exact, since, strictly-speaking, only human beings are “raised”.

To raise a child is to get him to attain his stature of man and son of God; it is to raise him above the level of the animal to the level of man – even more, to the level of Christ, to that of Heaven, and to that of God.

Despite the inspiring perspectives opened up by the word “raise”, the term nevertheless has a serious drawback in that it does not sufficiently emphasize the child’s collaborative role in the process. Even in the moral sphere, “raising” a child has nothing in common with the familiar, charming image of a father taking his son in his arms and lifting him up into the air – rather it means helping the child to raise itself. Education must be accomplished from the inside – exterior pressure and direction are not enough.

Let parents never forget: education is a two-way matter – it is at least as much the work of the child as it is that of the parents. The entire art of the educator consists in awakening in the child the desire and ambition to grow and perfect himself. Nothing is done so long as the child does not aspire to development of self.

In short, “forming”, “educating” and “raising” a child means helping him to become what he is (in potency), to acquire the fulness of his personality, to bring to fruition all his hidden qualities, and finally to secure for him the very possession of God, in Whom our happiness resides.

We can, therefore, define education as the science (set of theoretical principals) and the art (set of practical techniques) which grant the child not only the possibility, but the facility of “becoming himself”, by developing his entire being from its current embryonic state in such a way that, having reached adulthood, he may live his life to the full and in all its beauty in the splendid blossoming of his personality for the happiness of others and the glory of God, his Master and Creator. A great and noble task, indeed!

In fact, there is no more important or more essential one. “What can be greater”, exclaims Saint John Chrysostom, “than directing souls and forming children in virtue? Molding souls (fingere animos) is the art of arts, more excellent than that of the painter or the sculptor”.

Consequences and evaluation of this definition

The definition of education which we have just outlined gives us a mere glimpse of the scale and complexity of the undertaking at hand. It actually includes a double objective. For the sake of clarity, we must deal with these two aspects separately, but, in reality, they constantly intertwine and need to be accomplished simultaneously.

This double objective consists firstly in forming in the child the man, the whole man; secondly, it is a matter of forming in him this particular man.

It IS interesting, isn’t it, how, in the last decades, women are made to feel as if they are being “losers”, “nobodys” if they are dedicated to the home..They are not using their talents if they aren’t out working in the world.

Truly, I find that illogical. How many talents does it make to run a pleasant home, raise good children, have a healthy relationship with someone you rub shoulders with night and day? That, in itself, is a full-time job…not to mention if some are homeschooling, seeking out healthy alternatives, helping with their parish life, etc., etc.

No, it takes a brave, committed, responsible, hard-working adult to do what it takes to raise a Godly family in today’s society. -Finer Femininity, Painting by Alfred Rodriguez www.finerfem.com

“It would be nice if the ‘work is play’ stage lasted longer than it does. Children soon discover, however, that the wary in this world shy away from work, and now begins the real struggle…” An excerpt from Mary Reed Newland’s book ‘How to Raise Good Catholic Children”.

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With his facile pen and from the wealth of his nation-wide experience, the well-known author treats anything and everything that might be included under the heading of home education: the pre-marriage training of prospective parents, the problems of the pre-school days down through the years of adolescence. No topic is neglected. “What is most praiseworthy is Fr. Lord’s insistence throughout that no educational agency can supplant the work that must be done by parents.” – Felix M. Kirsch, O.F.M.

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