Category Archives: Virtues

Lying – Emphasize the Importance of Truth

18 Thursday Nov 2021

Posted by in Motherhood, Parenting, Virtues

≈ 4 Comments

by Mary Reed Newland, How to Raise Good Catholic Children

To deny that God is the remedy for a child’s lying is to forget that Christ said, “I am the Truth.”

It is quite probable that there are more immediate reasons, but there’s only one perfect cure, and that is love of Christ.

Children are not born liars. They don’t bother to lie when they’re tiny because they haven’t learned yet the pattern of crime and punishment. But after they have, they decide to try ducking the punishment by pretending they have committed no crime. On the surface, it’s a perfectly logical thing to do.

Any mother who has a child who has never told a lie must thank God for giving her child unusual graces. However, all is not lost if a child does lie. It only means that he is showing the effects of Original Sin. Our job is to give him a motive for not lying that will override the motives for lying.

Telling him it isn’t nice won’t do it. By the time he’s in the first grade, he’ll discover that it isn’t always honesty that is rewarded, but carefulness. And the older he gets, the more he’s able to look about the world and discover that the rules for success do not include a complete devotion to truth.

We can tell him that lying is a sin, which he certainly must realize; indeed, for children who have made their First Communion, it’s a matter for Confession. To hold that fear of sin is a bad thing for a child is nonsense. The fruits of sin are death to the soul, and it depends on how you look at the soul just where you intend to start setting up a few healthy frustrations.

You can give way to the philosophy of complete freedom and permit your child to run wild in the name of the passive approach, and he may end up in eternity with a frustration for which there is no cure.

Nevertheless, just chatting about sin won’t accomplish much if he has nothing against which to measure sin.

The story of Moses receiving the Ten Commandments on Mount Sinai is a dramatic framework in which to anchor the idea of sin, and reading children the nineteenth and twentieth chapters of Exodus — in their own words — will help to make not only the Commandments but the catechism lessons on the Commandments far more vivid and dramatic than dry references to them as things to be learned and obeyed. Lying is a sin against the Eighth Commandment: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.”

A picture of a soul in the state of grace helps, too. It’s told of St. Catherine of Siena that she fell to her knees before a vision of such light and beauty that she thought it was God. And when an angel said to her, “Arise, Catherine, for it is God alone thou shalt adore,” she asked what it was she saw. The angel replied that it was only the sight of a soul in the state of grace.

If we have taught our children that the Holy Trinity resides in their souls as long as they commit no serious sin, we must make it clear that venial sin does destroy some of the splendor, and although the Trinity remains, out of merciful pity for our weakness, God is not so sublimely happy as before.

It’s my experience that, of all the things one says to a child who is tempted to lie, “Please, dear, don’t do anything that will destroy the beauty of your soul” has the most telling effect. That is, if he understands something of the beauty of the soul.

The positive reasons for being good are, however, far more rewarding than the negative, and the positive reason for not lying is Jesus’ statement, “I am the Truth.” When He stood before Pilate, He said, “Everyone that is of truth heareth my voice.”

The small voice of conscience that warns us to tell the truth in times of temptation is like the voice of our Lord in us, begging us to be one with Him.

“You must try to remember, dear, when you’re tempted to lie, that Jesus is present, waiting to see if you will be with Him or against Him. He not only said He is the Truth, but He also said the Devil is the father of lies. So there is a great choice to be made. A lie doesn’t just pop into your head. The Devil whispers it there. He hates our Lord and wants you to hate Him, too.

When you think it would be better to lie than receive the blame for something wrong you’ve done, try to stop first, and think how much you love our Lord. If you’re afraid to tell the truth, then inside yourself tell Him you’re afraid. Ask Him, quickly, ‘Please help me to tell the truth.’

He’ll send you the grace in the wink of an eye if only you’ll ask, and your soul will be stronger for telling the truth because you’ll have done a very brave thing.”

Does it work? I wish I could say, “Yes, they’ll never tell a lie again.” But it’s such a big idea, and children do not retain a lesson, word for word, after being told just once.

The emotional urgency is very strong when it comes to telling a lie. It isn’t the same mood at all as night prayers, when a child is fairly recollected and thinking of God. It usually follows some calamity, and with his heart pounding in his breast the temptation comes and almost overpowers him. He’s frightened, or he wouldn’t toy with the idea in the first place.

And we must try to remember this. It’s best never to ask a child (if we can keep our heads), “Did you do it?” especially if we know that the temptation to lie is especially strong in this child. Given only a matter of seconds to reply, he’s quite likely to seek frantic cover in a lie. Demanding such a quick answer is unfair.

And although it isn’t good to hint that we will distrust his answer even before he gives it, for children who find telling the truth difficult there’s a measure of security to be told, “Now, before I ask you, I want you to know I understand how hard it is sometimes to tell the truth. If you did this thing that you know was naughty, there must be some kind of right punishment for it. But to add a lie would only make it twice as bad.

Stop and ask God to help you tell the truth, and then if you must have a punishment, it can be your penance, your way of telling Him you’re sorry.”

I know one little boy who had great difficulty with lies. He learned to calm down and get over his first panic when he was given five minutes to go alone to his room and kneel down and say a Hail Mary to ask for the grace to tell the truth.

This is not just a mechanical trick to free a child of his tension. Hail Marys are effective — and why shouldn’t they be? Mary is the Mediatrix of all grace; if human mothers are concerned about teaching their children truthfulness, how much more so the Mother of God?

So often, however, the situation that precipitates a lie has everyone off balance, mother as well as child; and only because I have made the mistake myself do I presume to warn other mothers against the “I want the truth” approach.

God wants the truth, whether from a small child or a grown man; to allow it to rest simply on a mother’s demand for the truth leaves the field wide open for lying under other circumstances.

We’re raising children who will soon be men and women, who will have to contain within them the soundest reasons of all for telling the truth, no matter what the personal cost.

It’s obvious from the daily news reports that even personal honor has no meaning to many people anymore, that perjury is as easy as breathing, and if no one finds out, what does it matter?

But even personal honor is not a good enough reason. Pride in one’s truthfulness is as risky for the soul as cleverness at lying, and it’s a form of self-love with which the Devil can eventually have a field day.

If we can teach our children to tell the truth for the love of God, we can know for certain that each temptation resisted binds them closer to Christ and that through Him they will gradually develop a hunger for the truth.

Relating punishment to penance helps to lift it out of the category of “getting it” because Mother is mad. It helps a mother or father, too, to remember the reason for punishment for anyone, for anything. Fundamentally it is because we have offended God.

If we start punishing children or men or societies because we’re mad, we’ll end up annihilating them.

Unless we really want our children to conclude that we’re mean little dictators, we must learn to instruct and chastise them from God’s point of view.

I must confess this is very hard, not so much the instruction as the chastising — and if suffering all the remorse that follows the too-harsh punishment of a child has any value for parents, it is seeing all over again their own weakness and how, if they are to teach effectively at all, they must learn detachment well enough to be able to separate their own irritations and anger from the cause, and not use punishments as a personal sop for their disappointment with their children.

Of course, when you know that a child has done something wrong, it’s being coy to ask him if he did. It’s better to let him see that you know. Asking is only throwing temptation in his way.

As for children who spin tales, all mothers recognize these tales when they hear them; and when children are very little, they love to have us pretend to believe them.

Like Stephen’s mythical “friends.” His friends do all the horrid things he’s not supposed to do. He feels very virtuous to be able to regale us with hair-raising accounts of how some of his friends eat, talk back to their mothers, stamp their feet, and throw stones through windows.

I am sure it’s very healthy for Stephen to have such horrible friends and to feel so superior to them. At least it makes eating nicely much more rewarding when he’s able to drain off his secret desire to get in there with both hands by clucking over his friends.

But then Stephen is only three and some months, and no one, not even he, is really fooled.

Another lad who is older can spin a yarn that is really out of this world. He once had a teacher who rubbed him the wrong way, and he came home with wild tales about things she said to him. None of it belonged in the class of serious lies. It was his own private way of getting sympathy and “getting even.” And he nearly got me into difficulty one time by reporting that she had publicly criticized him for not having his hair shampooed often enough (could be).

I was all set to bike down and give her a small piece of my mind on the subject of humiliating children in front of the class. But God is good. Before my temperature rose too high, He sent a small grace that suggested I take a chance on guessing that it was an invention.

I said, “You really made that up, didn’t you?” He looked a little sheepish, and then said yes. We had a long talk about making up stories, and how sometimes it seems like a good thing to do, and how it isn’t really a bad thing to do unless, of course, you make up something like this, which puts someone else in a very bad light. Then it could be terrible.

Now that he was older, he ought to try to remember that it’s best to identify the stories as “stories” and be more careful not to give everyone the impression that he doesn’t care about the truth.

When we finally got down to business and shampooed his hair, I decided Teacher would have been well justified if she had made some remarks about it. It was June, and he was pretty grimy, and maybe the whole thing started in the first place because, poor darling, he was longing for a shampoo.

Anyway, if you persevere, the teaching about lying works eventually. With some children, it works right away, but the fact that a child does have difficulty with lying is no reason to abandon hope. One who will not lie may find that some other virtue is hard.

Our job is to explain it patiently and often, theirs is to ask for the grace, and God will do most of the work.

Monica was telling me about a wrangle at school that involved lying. A Catholic child and a Protestant child were having an argument over religion. The Catholic child said that Catholics do not lie. The Protestant child said they do; only Protestants do not lie.

“What did you say?”

“Oh, I said both Catholics and Protestants will lie if only they will listen to the Devil telling them to lie.” So that’s that.

Now, all this will be so much noise if we’re not examples of impeccable truthfulness ourselves. Children are not easy to fool, and if we’re given to elaborate promises that we don’t qualify (“If it’s possible, I will . . .” “I’ll try very hard to . . .” “We’ll see, dear, maybe we can . . .” and so forth) and don’t keep, they’ll do exactly as they see us do, and we can take all the credit for it.

This involves all kinds of things, such as what to tell them about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, where babies come from, and all the rest.

And whether they like to admit it or not, the elaborate fictions parents invent about these things amount, in the end, to nothing more or less than lies.

“You are the most important person your child will ever know. Your relationship with him will transcend, in depth of feeling, any other relationship he probably will ever have–even the one with his marriage partner. From you he will learn what true love really is. From the tenderness you show and the security you give, you will develop his attitudes toward other human beings which will always remain with him.” -The Catholic Family Handbook, Rev. George Kelly http://amzn.to/2CvZdQ6 (afflink)

 

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Author Mary Reed Newland here draws on her own experiences as the mother of seven to show how the classic Christian principles of sanctity can be translated into terms easily applied to children even to the very young.

Because it’s rooted in experience, not in theory, nothing that Mrs. Newland suggests is impossible or extraordinary. In fact, as you reflect on your experiences with your own children, you’ll quickly agree that hers is an excellent commonsense approach to raising good Catholic children.

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“Despite My Littleness…” – St. Therese, the Little Flower

03 Sunday Oct 2021

Posted by in Feast Days, Spiritual Tidbits, Virtues

≈ 2 Comments

Happy Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux!

by Father Jacques Philippe, The Way of Trust and Love – A Retreat Guided by St. Therese of Lisieux

Thérèse wanted to be a saint not out of ambition or vainglory, but in order to love God as much as he can be loved. That is completely in accordance with the Gospel.

She also very much wanted to be useful to the Church, and she felt that the only way she could do that was by aiming for holiness with all her strength.

But … alas, I have always realized, when I compared myself to the saints, that there is between them and me the same difference as exists between a mountain whose summit is lost in the heavens, and the obscure grain of sand trodden underfoot by passers-by.

Thérèse very soon realized that what she wanted was impossible. Despite all her good will and her ardent desires, she was quickly brought face-to-face with her limitations and had the feeling that her desire for holiness was inaccessible, unrealizable. She felt as though there were the same distance between that ideal of holiness and what she could actually do as between a high mountain and a grain of sand.

It should be said that at the time she lived, at the end of the nineteenth century, people still tended to identify the idea of sainthood with the kind of exceptional perfection that involved heroic enterprises, extraordinary graces, etc.

Thérèse felt an insuperable distance between that model and what she was in her everyday life. Her words should be taken very seriously. She was faced with a real difficulty and unquestionably went through a real inner crisis. The temptation in that kind of situation is discouragement: I’ll never get there!

How did Thérèse react? She goes on:

Instead of getting discouraged, I said to myself: “God could not inspire us with desires that were unrealizable, so despite my littleness I can aspire to holiness.”

Here is a very beautiful aspect of Thérèse’s spiritual personality: her great simplicity, her trust in God. If God has put this desire in me—and I’ve had it for years, that’s why I entered Carmel—then it must be realizable. The desire has always been with me. It can’t be an illusion, because God is just in all his ways.

We are looking at one of the paradoxes of Thérèse’s life: on the one hand, great psychological weaknesses and great sufferings; but despite this, on the other hand, always great desires.

Lest we idealize Thérèse, recall what she was like at almost fourteen, before the healing grace that came to her at Christmas 1886.

She was a very intelligent little girl, but she had not followed a normal school life because she could not adapt to the school run by Benedictine sisters to which she had been sent. She was hypersensitive, very dependent on others, and had an enormous need for gratitude.

When she had done some little act of service, such as watering the flowers, and no one thanked her, it was a full-scale drama for her. If by chance she had hurt someone she loved, she cried about it, and then, as she says, “cried for having cried.” “I was so oversensitive that I was unbearable.”

She was “enclosed in a narrow circle that she could not get out of.”

Yet at the same time she had a very deep life of prayer and a true desire for holiness. It took the grace of Christmas 1886 to sort out this tangle, so to speak. I shall say a little about it here, and invite you to read the passage where she describes it.

Briefly, then, after Communion at Midnight Mass, our Lord inspired Thérèse to make an act of courage to overcome her hypersensitivity. The youngest of the Martin girls, she was still treated rather like a child: at Christmas, there were gifts left for her by the fireplace, and so on.

Their father, Mr. Martin, despite his affection for his youngest child, was beginning to be a little tired of all this. The comment escaped him, “This is the last time, luckily!”

Thérèse heard this and it hurt her terribly; she was tempted, as usual, to cry like a child, which would have spoilt the whole family’s Christmas.

She tells how she received a grace at that moment which can be understood as follows. It was as if God made her understand, “That’s it, finished.”

She received a sort of intuition, like a call from the Holy Spirit: “No, Thérèse, that childishness is over, you can’t let yourself go and spoil Christmas for the others!” That is not exactly what the text says, but I think that’s what it means.

So she made an act of courage: she acted as though nothing had happened, looked as joyful and happy as she could, unwrapped her presents with laughter and thanks, and, astonishingly, was cured from that moment on.

She herself says she recovered the strength of mind she had lost at the age of four when her mother died, an event that traumatized her and lay at the root of all her emotional fragility.

After that, she was able to enter Carmel and embark on her wonderful, courageous way of life, undertaking a “giant’s race,” as she puts it.

I am telling you this to help you understand something:

It may happen that God works a deep cure in us through totally insignificant events. Sometimes we are called by God to come out of ourselves, to take several steps forward, to become more adult and free.

We turn round and round inside ourselves, enclosed in our immaturity, complaints, lamentations, and dependencies, until suddenly a day of grace arrives, a gift from God, who nevertheless also calls upon our freedom.

We have a choice to make, for it is at the same time a cure and a conversion: our freedom has to opt for an act of courage.

Making an act of courage even over some very small thing, which is what God is asking of us, can open the gate to in-depth cures, to a new freedom granted us by God.

We all need cures in order to become more adult in the faith, to be courageous in waging the battle that we must wage in the Church today. To be a Christian in this day and age is not easy.

We will receive the courage and strength it requires if we can say yes to what God asks of us.

So let’s put this question to God: “What is the ‘yes’ you are asking me for today? The little act of courage and trust you’re calling me to make today?” What is the little conversion, the door that opens to let in the Holy Spirit? For if we make it, God’s grace will visit us and touch us in the depths of our being.

I am convinced that many of us will receive new strength from God. The door through which this strength enters us is the “yes” we say to our Lord to something he asks of us—something perhaps very small, perhaps rather more important, according as he gives us to understand.

“At a certain moment when going to confession to a Capuchin father, St. Therese came to understand that it was just the opposite: her “defects did not displease God” and her littleness attracted God’s love, just as a father is moved by the weakness of his children and loves them still more as soon as he sees their good will and sincere love.” -Fr. Jacques Philippe,The Way of Trust and Love, http://amzn.to/2fpXVzl Painting by Millie Childers

Happy Feast of St. Therese of Lisieux! Dear Little Flower, pray for us!

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A conference by Bishop Fulton Sheen:

Miracles of the Little Flower:

A little reminder of the devotion of Divine Mercy along with the teaching of the little flower on having trust in Our Lord.

 

 

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Making Resolutions/New Children’s Podcast! ~ Growing in Grace

07 Tuesday Sep 2021

Posted by in Cheerful Chats for Catholic Children, Podcasts - Finer Femininity, Virtues, Will Training by Rev. Edward Barrett

≈ 3 Comments

The resolution being now well formulated, the task of making it begins. Merely to say it over or to promise it in a feeble way is absolutely useless. The whole will, with the whole force and energy of the will, must be brought into it.

Not only that, but the whole living strengths of the will must be literally hurled into it, not once or twice, but again and again each day, right up to the very last day of the month. The resolution must be meant.

We must be able to say, “Yes! before God, I mean that! I mean it as intensely and really as I can ever mean anything! I will keep that resolution. I know I can and will keep it because I mean it. Further, I will take every precaution to keep it alive and vigorous within me by re-making it again and again.”

Needless to say such resolutions should not be lightly made, nor should they be trifled with. In them the credit of the will is at stake. It is a serious thing to make a serious resolution, and it is a bad thing to break one, bad for the will and bad for self-respect.

Now, Catholic writers suggest many means whereby we may render our resolutions more secure. One practical method is to make the “Particular Examen,” which consists in a half-daily examination of our failures or success in our resolution.

We must pray for the grace to keep our resolutions. Supernatural aid will then be ours; but prayer will also aid us naturally.

We must meditate on the advantages of keeping it and on the disadvantages of breaking it, on the beauty of patience and on the pettiness and shame of irritability. Our mind will be convinced by this means, and our emotions will be aroused in favor of the resolution.

Next, we are advised to intensify our resolution not merely by direct will-acts, but by indirect will-acts derived from self-inflicted penance. For pain and hunger will make us more in earnest and will make our “meaning” more sincere.

Such, in general, is the method which Catholics are taught to employ in the matter of resolutions. Needless to say, if this method is faithfully employed the will grows strong and energetic—its good qualities are developed and its faults are corrected.

Of course, it must not be thought that religion in itself wholly consists in making and keeping good resolutions. This is not so. Nevertheless, to a great extent, religion depends on the making and keeping of good resolutions, as on its method.

It may perhaps be well to take a type of will-hero, whose strength of will was the outcome of religion.

Such a one was John Berchmans, a young Flemish Jesuit of the early seventeenth century. His name is unknown to the literary and political world, but none the less he was possessed of remarkable gifts of mind.

The chief note of his character was moderation and good-sense, combined with an extraordinary tenacity of purpose. If he put before himself some end to be gained, he devoted his whole strength towards achieving it, and he regarded every tiny detail involved in this pursuit of his end as of the most serious consequence–maximi minima habuit.

He combined the qualities of miser and spendthrift in such matters, being most miserly about allowing himself the slightest deviation from his purpose or the slightest delay in winning it, whereas he was most lavish and generous in giving himself and all he had to the working out of his aim.

In him the maxim was verified to the fullest: “Suae quisque vitae victor est; artifex hujus operis est voluntas.” Each one is the conqueror of his life; the artist is the will of this work.

 He set himself to become a saint in a new way, by doing ordinary things extremely well, and thanks to his lifelong pertinacity of purpose he gained his end.

That be sought in religion strength and inspiration is of course indisputable. To fulfil perfectly all his religions duties was the main object of his life, and it was in fulfilling them that the promptness, consistency and persevering regularity of his will were manifested.

It would not be difficult to find among the annals of the Saints many other examples of will-heroes: some were men of extraordinary energy, like Francis Xavier, some of extreme gentleness, like Francis de Sales, some of cold intellectual intensity, like Ignatius, some of child-like sweetness, like Antony of Padua.

In each case great will-strength followed in the wake of religious perfection. In each case converse with God raised and developed the will-faculty, just as it improved every other faculty of the mind.

We have seen at some length that the practice of religion implies will-training, but nevertheless it must be remembered that it is not the special aim of religion to train the will. It does so only indirectly, and it does not always do so as perfectly and as surely as we might wish.

It seems necessary to have some specific training. To train the will, as it were, for the sake of the will itself, for the sake of the perfection of the will, and not for the sake of other thing.

The will must be taught, to some extent, to will for the sake of willing. The will builds up will by willing. As we shall see later, it builds up will best by willing will.

The will must, as it were, turn back on itself in willing, and will will. Exercises calculated to provoke willing for the sake of willing are necessary.

We must feel the pure glow of pleasure involved in willing for the sake of the will. Just as the intellect or memory must be trained, apart from the training they receive in the practice of religion, so must the will be trained apart from the training it receives in this manner.

It must not, however, be overlooked that will-training of itself, without relation to religion and morality, is in great part meaningless. For, as Professor Forster writes, “All our efforts are lacking in deeper meaning if they are not correlated to a great spiritual view of life as a whole. Even the most perfect development of willpower tends to degenerate into a mere athletic exercise without enduring significance.”

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True Education (Part Two)

27 Friday Aug 2021

Posted by in Education, Parenting, Virtues

≈ 1 Comment

Stuart, Janet Erskine, The Education of Catholic Girls, 1912

The following are points very necessary in Catholic education (Part Two)…

Part One is here.

5. Proper views of Jesus Christ and His mother. For Catholic children this relationship is not a thing far off, but the faith which teaches them of God Incarnate bids them also understand that He is their own “God who gives joy to their youth”—and that His mother is also theirs.

There are many incomprehensible things in which children are taught to affirm their belief, and the acts of faith in which they recite these truths are far beyond their understanding.

But they can and do understand if we take pains to teach them that they are loved by Our Lord each one alone, intimately and personally, and asked to love in return.

“Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not,” is not for them a distant echo of what was heard long ago in the Holy Land, it is no story, but a living reality of today.

They are themselves the children who are invited to come to Him, better off indeed than those first called, since they are not now rebuked or kept off by the Apostles but brought to the front and given the first places, invited by order of His Vicar from their earliest years to receive the Bread of Heaven, and giving delight to His representatives on earth by accepting the invitation.

It is the reality as contrasted with the story that is the prerogative of the Catholic child. Jesus and Mary are real, and are its own closest kin, all but visible, at moments intensely felt as present.

They are there in joy and in trouble, when everyone else fails in understanding or looks displeased there is this refuge, there is this love which always forgives, and sets things right, and to whom nothing is unimportant or without interest.

Companionship in loneliness, comfort in trouble, relief in distress, endurance in pain are all to be found in them.

With Jesus and Mary what is there in the whole world of which a Catholic child should be afraid. And this glorious strength of theirs made perfect in child-martyrs in many ages will make them again child-martyrs now if need be, or confessors of the holy faith as they are not seldom called upon, even now, to show themselves.

There is a strange indomitable courage in children which has its deep springs in these Divine things; the strength which they find in Holy Communion and in their love for Jesus and Mary is enough to overcome in them all weakness and fear.

6. Thoughts of the faith and practice of Christian life.

And here it is necessary to guard against what is childish, visionary, and exuberant, against things that only feed the fancy or excite the imagination, against practices which are adapted to other races than ours, but with us are liable to become unreal and irreverent.

We must guard against too vivid sense impressions and especially against attaching too much importance to them, against grotesque and puerile forms of piety, which drag down the beautiful devotions to the saint.

In northern countries a greater sobriety of devotion is required if it is to have any permanent influence on life.

But again, on the other hand, the more restrained devotion must not lose its spontaneity; so long as it is the true expression of faith it can hardly be too simple, it can never be too intimate a part of common life.

Noble friendships with the saints in glory are one of the most effectual means of learning heavenly-mindedness, and friendships formed in childhood will last through a lifetime.

To find a character like one’s own which has fought the same fight and been crowned, is an encouragement which obtains great victories, and to enter into the thoughts of the saints is to qualify oneself here below for intercourse with the citizens of heaven.

To be well grounded in the elements of faith, and to have been so taught that the practice of religion has become the atmosphere of a happy life, to have the habit of sanctifying daily duties, joys, and trials by the thought of God, and a firm resolve that nothing shall be allowed to draw the soul away from Him, such is, broadly speaking, the aim we may set before ourselves for the end of the years of childhood, after which must follow the more difficult years of the training of youth.

The time has gone by when the faith of childhood might be carried through life and be assailed by no questionings from without.

A faith that is not armed and ready for conflict stands a poor chance of passing victoriously through its trials, it cannot hope to escape from being tried.

“We have labored successfully,” wrote a leading Jewish Freemason in Rome addressing his Brotherhood, “in the great cities and among the young men; it remains for us to carry out the work in the country districts and amongst the women.”

Words could not be plainer to show what awaits the faith of children when they come out into the world.

For faith to hold on its course against all that tends to carry it away, it is needful that it should not be found unprepared.

The minds of the young cannot expect to be carried along by a Catholic public opinion, there will be few to help them, and they must learn to stand by themselves, to answer for themselves, to be challenged and not afraid to speak out for their faith, to be able to give “first aid” to unsettled minds and not allow their own to be unsettled by what they hear.

They must learn that, as Father Dalgairns points out, their position in the world is far more akin to that of Christians in the first centuries of the Church than to the life that was lived in the middle ages when the Church visibly ruled over public opinion.

Now, as in the earliest ages, the faithful stand in small assemblies or as individuals amid cold or hostile surroundings, and individual faith and sanctity are the chief means of extending the kingdom of God on earth.

But this apostleship needs preparation and training. The early teaching requires to be seasoned and hardened to withstand the influences which tend to dissolve faith and piety; by this seasoning faith must be enlightened, and piety become serene and grave, “sedate,” as St. Francis of Sales would say with beautiful commentary.

In the last years of school or school-room life the mind has to be gradually inured to the harder life, to the duty of defending as well as adorning the faith, and to gain at least some idea of the enemies against which defense must be made.

It is something even to know what is in the air and what may be expected that the first surprise may not disturb the balance of the mind.

To know that in the Church there have been sorrows and scandals, without the promises of Christ having failed, and even that it had to be so, fulfilling His word, “it must needs be that scandals come” (St. Matthew XVIII. 7), that they are therefore rather a confirmation than a stumbling-block to our faith, this is a necessary safeguard.

To have some unpretentious knowledge of what is said and thought concerning Holy Scripture, to know at least something about Modernism and other phases of current opinion is necessary, without making a study of their subtleties, for the most insecure attitude of mind for girls is to think they know, in these difficult questions, and the best safeguard both of their faith and good sense is intellectual modesty.

Without making acquaintance in detail with the phenomena of spiritualism and kindred arts or sciences, it is needful to know in a plain and general way why they are forbidden by the Church, and also to know how those who have lost their balance and peace of mind in these pursuits would willingly draw back, but find it next to impossible to free themselves from the servitude in which they are entangled.

It is hard for some minds to resist the restless temptation to feel, to see, to test and handle all that life can offer of strange and mysterious experiences, and next to the curb of duty comes the safeguard of greatly valuing freedom of mind.

Curiosity concerning evil or dangerous knowledge is more impetuous when a sudden emancipation of mind sweeps the old landmarks and restraints out of sight, and nothing has been foreseen which can serve as a guide.

Then is the time when weak places in education show themselves, when the least insincerity in the presentment of truth brings its own punishment, and a faith not pillared and grounded in all honesty is in danger of failing.

The best security is to have nothing to unlearn, to know that what one knows is a very small part of what can be known, but that as far as it goes it is true and genuine, and cannot be outgrown, that it will stand both the wear of time and the test of growing power of thought, and that those who have taught these beliefs will never have to retract or be ashamed of them, or own that they were passed off, though inadequate, upon the minds of children.

To know that in the Church there have been sorrows and scandals, without the promises of Christ having failed, and even that it had to be so, fulfilling His word, “it must needs be that scandals come” (St. Matthew XVIII. 7), that they are therefore rather a confirmation than a stumbling-block to our faith. -Janet Erskine, 1912

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Women historically have been denigrated as lower than men or viewed as privileged. Dr. Alice von Hildebrand characterizes the difference between such views as based on whether man’s vision is secularistic or steeped in the supernatural. She shows that feminism’s attempts to gain equality with men by imitation of men is unnatural, foolish, destructive, and self-defeating. The Blessed Mother’s role in the Incarnation points to the true privilege of being a woman. Both virginity and maternity meet in Mary who exhibits the feminine gifts of purity, receptivity to God’s word, and life-giving nurturance at their highest.

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True Education (Part One)

25 Wednesday Aug 2021

Posted by in Education, Parenting, Virtues

≈ 1 Comment

Stuart, Janet Erskine, The Education of Catholic Girls, 1912

The following are points very necessary in Catholic education…

“These are qualifications that are never attained, because they must always be in process of attainment, only one who is constantly growing in grace and love and knowledge can give the true appreciation of what that grace and love and knowledge are in their bearing on human life: to be rather than to know is therefore a primary qualification. Inseparably bound up with it is the thinking right thoughts concerning what is to be taught.”

1. To have right thoughts of God. It would seem to be too obvious to need statement, yet experience shows that this fundamental necessity is not always secure, far from it.

It is not often put into words, but traces may be found only too easily of foundations of religion laid in thoughts of God that are unworthy of our faith. Whence can they have come?

Doubtless in great measure from the subtle spirit of Jansenism which spread so widely in its day and is so hard to outlive—from remains of the still darker spirit of Calvinism which hangs about convert teachers of a rigid school—from vehement and fervid spiritual writers, addressing themselves to the needs of other times—perhaps most of all from the old lie which was from the beginning, the deep mistrust of God which is the greatest triumph of His enemy.

God is set forth as if He were encompassed with human limitations—the fiery imagery of the Old Testament pressed into the service of modern and western minds, until He is made to seem pitiless, revengeful, exacting, lying in wait to catch His creatures in fault, and awaiting them at death with terrible surprises.

But this is not what the Church and the Gospels have to say about Him to the children of the kingdom.

If we could put into words our highest ideals of all that is most lovely and lovable, beautiful, tender, gracious, liberal, strong, constant, patient, unwearying, add what we can, multiply it a million times, tire out our imagination beyond it, and then say that it is nothing to what He is, that it is the weakest expression of His goodness and beauty, we shall give a poor idea of God indeed, but at least, as far as it goes, it will be true, and it will lead to trustfulness and friendship, to a right attitude of mind, as child to father, and creature to Creator.

We speak as we believe, there is an accent of sincerity that carries conviction if we speak of God as we believe, and if we believe truly, we shall speak of Him largely, trustfully, and happily, whether in the dogmas of our faith, or as we find His traces and glorious attributes in the world around us, as we consider the lilies of the field and the birds of the air, or as we track with reverent and unprecipitate following the line of His providential government in the history of the world.

The need of right thoughts of God is also deeply felt on the side of our relations to Him, and that especially in our democratic times when sovereignty is losing its meaning.

There are free and easy ideas of God, as if man might criticize and question and call Him to account, and have his say on the doings of the Creator.

It is not explanation or apology that answer these, but a right thought of God makes them impossible, and this right thought can only be given if we have it ourselves.

The Fatherhood of God and the Sovereignty of God are foundations of belief which complete one another, and bear up all the superstructure of a child’s understanding of Christian life.

2. Ideas of ourselves and of our destiny. It is a pity that evil instead of good is made a prominent feature of religious teaching.

To be haunted by the thought of evil and the dread of losing our soul, as if it were a danger threatening us at every step, is not the most inspiring ideal of life; quiet, steady, unimaginative fear and watchfulness is harder to teach, but gives a stronger defense against sin than an ever present terror; while all that belongs to hope awakens a far more effective response to good.

Some realization of our high destiny as heirs of heaven is the strongest hold that the average character can have to give steadiness in prosperity and courage in adversity.

Chosen souls will rise higher than this, but if the average can reach so far as this they will do well.

3. Right ideas of sin and evil. It is possible on the one hand to give such imperfect ideas of right and wrong that all is measured by the mere selfish standard of personal security.

The frightened question about some childish wrong-doing—”is it a mortal sin?” often indicates that fear of punishment is the only aspect under which sin appears to the mind; while a satisfied tone in saying “it is only a venial sin” looks like a desire to see what liberties may be taken with God without involving too serious consequences to self.

“It is wrong” ought to be enough, and the less children talk of mortal sin the better—to talk of it, to discuss with them whether this or that is a mortal sin, accustoms them to the idea.

When they know well the conditions which make a sin grave without illustrations by example which are likely to obscure the subject rather than clear it up, when their ideas of right and duty and obligation are clear, when “I ought” has a real meaning for them, we shall have a stronger type of character than that which is formed on detailed considerations of different degrees of guilt.

On the other hand it is possible to confuse and torment children by stories of the exquisite delicacy of the consciences of the saints, as St. Aloysius, setting before them a standard that is beyond their comprehension or their degree of grace, and making them miserable because they cannot conform to it.

It is a great safeguard against sin to realize that duty must be done, at any cost, and that Christianity means self-denial and taking up the cross.

4. Thoughts of the four last things. True thoughts of death are not hard for children to grasp, to their unspoiled faith it is a simple and joyful thing to go to God.

Later on the dreary pageantry and the averted face of the world from that which is indeed its doom obscure the Christian idea, and the mind slips back to pagan grief, as if there were no life to come.

Thoughts of judgment are not so hard to give if the teaching is sincere and simple, free from exaggerations and phantoms of dread, and on the other hand clear from an incredulous protest against God’s holding man responsible for his acts.

But to give right thoughts of hell and heaven taxes the best resources of those who wish to lay foundations well, for they are to be foundations for life, and the two lessons belong together, corner-stones of the building, to stand in view as long as it shall stand and never to be forgotten.

The two lessons belong together as the final destiny of man, fixed by his own act, this or that. And they have to be taught with all the force and gravity and dignity which befits the subject, and in such a way that after years will find nothing to smile at and nothing to unlearn.

They have to be taught as the mind of the present time can best apprehend them, not according to the portraiture of medieval pictures, but in a language perhaps not more true and adequate in itself but less boisterous and more comprehensible to our self-conscious and introspective moods.

Father Faber’s treatment of these last things, hell and heaven, would furnish matter for instruction not beyond the understanding of those in their last years at school, and of a kind which if understood must leave a mark upon the mind for life.

Establishing clear-cut family rules requires complete agreement between father and mother. Few things disturb a child more than when his father establishes one standard of conduct and his mother makes continuous exceptions to it. Once a father and mother agree, neither should change the rules without consulting the other, or the child will not know what is expected of him. And both father and mother must share in enforcing them. – Rev. George Kelly, 1950’s

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To the modern mind, the concept of poverty is often confused with destitution. But destitution emphatically is not the Gospel ideal. A love-filled sharing frugality is the message, and Happy Are You Poor explains the meaning of this beatitude lived and taught by Jesus himself. But isn’t simplicity in lifestyle meant only for nuns and priests? Are not all of us to enjoy the goodness and beauties of our magnificent creation? Are parents to be frugal with the children they love so much?

For over half a century, Catholic families have treasured the practical piety and homespun wisdom of Mary Reed Newland’s classic of domestic spirituality, The Year and Our Children. With this new edition, no longer will you have to search for worn, dusty copies to enjoy Newland’s faithful insights, gentle lessons, and delightful stories. They’re all here, and ready to be shared with your family or homeschooling group. Here, too, you’ll find all the prayers, crafts, family activities, litanies, and recipes that will help make your children ever-mindful of the beautiful rhythm of the Church calendar.

Hold Fast to Your Faith

27 Tuesday Jul 2021

Posted by in Spiritual Tidbits, Virtues

≈ 1 Comment

Our faith is a gift. It needs to be protected. How many instances I have seen where there was once faith, but because it was taken for granted and not valued as something to nurture and keep in tact….it is now gone. Such a tragedy….and one that can be avoided if only the steps are taken to treat it as the precious pearl that it is!

1280px-Franz_von_Defregger_-_Grace_Before_Meal

My Prayer-Book (Happiness in Goodness)

A father who was totally destitute of faith sent his children to be educated in Catholic establishments.

A friend, having remarked to him upon the inconsistency of his conduct, he replied: “I know only too well, by my own experience, the misery of unbelief, and I am not so cruel a parent as to permit my dear children to feel the same.”

So great then is the wretchedness of unbelief! Listen to these words, and mark them well, proceeding as they do from the lips of an unbeliever.

Therefore guard against the dangers which may threaten your faith. Let me point out these dangers to you.

In the first place, doubts of the faith. If such doubts occur to you, do not dwell upon them, do not strive to solve them, but in all simplicity and humility say: “O my God, I believe this, because Thou hast said it, and because Thou art eternal Truth.”

If doubts which you cannot answer are brought before you by others, simply say: “I cannot explain this, but one thing I know:
God and His holy Church can never err. You had better consult a priest; he will be able to answer you.”

And if you should yourself be troubled with doubts of the faith, tell them simply and frankly to your director or confessor and he will advise you as to the best method of setting them at rest.

Avoid, as far as possible (and this is the second point), the society of those who deny the truths of religion and scoff at faith, the sacraments, and so on.

If they are your equals and among the number of your acquaintances to whom you can speak plainly, cut them short with some such words as these: “May I ask you not to talk in this way, for, if you persist in doing so, this must be the last time I shall have anything to do with you.”

Do not argue with such persons, but say quite simply: “Are you wiser than the Catholic Church and almighty God Himself?”

If they are persons to whom you cannot speak in this way, observe an expressive silence, and thus show your displeasure; or adroitly turn the conversation to a different subject.

Under such circumstances it is a great advantage to possess a ready tongue, for those who have this gift can often, by some appropriate speech, silence the scoffer at once and forever.

I formerly knew a witty Capuchin monk who frequently employed this method, as the following amusing incident may serve to show:

Upon one occasion a remarkably corpulent gentleman who was traveling in the same railway coach as the good Father, tried to make him angry by mocking at religion.

Among other things he said: “How can there be a hell? Where could the
Lord get the immense masses of fuel which would be required in order to heat it?”

The Capuchin, who was very quick at repartee, instantly retorted:
“My dear sir, pray set your mind at rest on this point, for as long as the Almighty has a store of such fat fellows, such ‘blocks,’ as you, He will be at no loss to find what he wants.”

In the third place, beware of reading books and pamphlets hostile to the faith or which attack the Church.

Above all things guard against an inordinate craving in the matter of reading, and do not fancy that you must read everything which comes in your way.

There are unfortunately many books, periodicals, newspapers, etc., in which the teachings of the Catholic Church, or faith in general, are more or less openly attacked, and in which shameless falsehoods, calumnies, and misrepresentations in regard to her ministers are given to the public.

If once you harbor the thought that if there were no truth at all in such articles they would never have been printed, the most bewildering doubts of the faith might arise in your mind.

Such doubts might be like poisonous seed, from which the accursed weeds of unbelief might spring up.

In conclusion, pay no heed to the false and foolish assertion that every religion is good, every system of beliefs can lead to heaven.

A pious mistress had a servant who very often talked in this way. The first time her wages were due the lady paid her in base coin or money which had been withdrawn from circulation.

The girl objected, but her mistress replied: “But it’s money just the same, and don’t you think all money is equally good?”

She then counted out genuine coins, saying as she did so: “Just as false money will not serve your purpose, so a false creed will never take you to heaven.”

Therefore hold fast to your faith, as being the only true one and the only one which can take you to heaven. Christ established but one Church.

true religion

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How To Profit From Our Defects

21 Monday Jun 2021

Posted by in Peace....Leaving Worry Behind, Spiritual Tidbits, Virtues

≈ 3 Comments

from the Catholic Family Magazine, Australia

– Hello Father. Sorry for being so late but I had to wait for the babysitter to come so that I could leave the house. I am glad to be able to come tonight for our little talk.

– Well, the subject I want to talk to you about is one of the most important in the spiritual life. It is how we can and even should profit from our faults. I believe that a good understanding of this question is a tremendous help in order to maintain peace of soul and make progress in union with God.

– But, Father I thought that our faults were an obstacle on the way to perfection. What kind of profit can I draw from my weakness which causes me to fall everyday into so many sins of impatience? What sort of advantage can I obtain from my negligence which causes me to miss so many opportunities of little sacrifices?

Let me ask you one question: Have you made up your mind never to offend God deliberately? Are you sincerely seeking to obey His will in fulfilling your vocation of wife and mother?

If the answer is yes, then your faults should not be a source of sadness but an occasion to practice humility. St Theresa of the Child Jesus used to say: “I do not grieve in seeing that I am weakness itself. On the contrary, it is in this that I glory, and I expect each day to discover in myself new imperfections.”

She also wrote ” What does it matter to me to fall each moment? By that I feel my weakness and therein I find great profit.  My God, you see what I can do if You do not carry me in your arms!”

We have to realize that everything is either willed or permitted by God. In the designs of His providence, even our faults ought to serve for our sanctification. Alas, many good souls do not know how to cope with their defects. They are quickly discouraged at the sight of their misery, instead of making an act of humility.

St Paul says: “All things work together for the good of them that love God,” Yes, everything and St Augustine adds “even our sins”.

– I must admit, Father, that I often get frustrated at myself. I make good resolutions, and I cannot seem to be able to keep them! The other day I was pretty happy because I had found the time for a little bit of spiritual reading. I had also succeeded in remaining in the presence of God for most of the day.

And then in the evening, the twins started to fight in their room and I completely lost my temper with them. I yelled and screamed so loud that the neighbors next door must have heard me!

After this I felt so ashamed and angry with myself that I got depressed. When my husband came home, I am afraid he did not feel like talking to me since he saw that I was in a bad mood.

– Yes this is a good example of how the bad use we make of our faults does more damage to us than our faults themselves. Alas, it is our self-love which causes us to act this way.

I have myself the same problem. We priests also have to overcome our pride. You see, we should not get upset when we fall! I think we should rather be surprised that we do not fall more often.

We should also thank God for all the faults from which He preserves us. Let us not become troubled and agitated when we see ourselves so imperfect. We should always keep our peace of soul.

When we happen to commit a fault we should turn to God with humility and ask His forgiveness. And then we must never think about the fault again, until the time comes to mention it in confession.

– So you think it may be pride, Father, when I get discouraged at the sight of how little progress I make in the spiritual life?

– Yes, it is possible that your self-love causes you to desire to be exempt from imperfections and so you get upset when you realize that you are still committing many little faults every day.

God wants us to be humble. He needs this disposition in our souls in order to communicate to us His grace. This is why He often allows us to plagued with defects.

I think that, if we were to become perfect all of a sudden, it would make us very proud and it would cause our ruin.

God is a great and wise Master. Let Him do as He likes. He will not fail in His work of the sanctification of your soul. We should resolve never to willfully do anything that displeases Him.

But if, despite our goodwill, we fall into faults, let us rejoice in the humiliation into which these faults throw us. Once again, we should profit from our faults in order to destroy our self-complacency and give glory to our dear God.

– So Father, you think that my defects do not offend Our Lord? It really bothers me sometimes when I come to confession and I have the same faults to confess every month!

– I know your soul and I think that many of your faults are not deliberate. Let me take two examples. First Mrs. So-and-So is a real gossip and in the past when both of you were on the phone, you talked about your neighbors in an unkind way. So you perfectly know that she is an occasion of sin.

If one day you go ahead and call her on the phone and indulge in an uncharitable conversation, there is no doubt that you have committed a venial sin and hurt the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Second, Mrs. Such-and-Such is your good friend and one day she comes to visit you. During the conversation you both tell bits of news that you have learned about people (without previous malicious intention).

After she has left you realize that some of the things you revealed to her were unnecessary and may have caused such a person to decrease in her esteem. Well, it was not a deliberate sin on your part, but a fault of weakness.

Tell God that you are sorry and your act of humility will make up for whatever negligence there may have been and give glory to Him.

– Well, Father, I will follow your advice and ask Our Lord to give me humility of heart. if I see some good in me, I know it is from God and I will thank Him for it. If I see some evil, I know it is from me. I will not get discouraged but I will profit by it so as to humble myself.

– Good! And always remember what I told you before about the way of spiritual childhood. St Theresa teaches us to make ourselves as small as we can in our own eyes.

Look at little children. They often fall on the ground. But they do not hurt themselves because, so to speak, they never fall from any great height.

So also little souls. Their wounds are never very serious and they are healed as soon as they are wounded. Far from being a hindrance in the way of perfection, the experience of their faults makes them humble and is therefore an advantage.

St. Paul said “It is my weakness that makes all my strength.” Let us pray to God so that we may receive the grace of being like little children in His sight, humble and confident.

God bless you.

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General Notions About Will-Training

04 Friday Jun 2021

Posted by in Virtues, Will Training by Rev. Edward Barrett

≈ 1 Comment

Painting, 1966, Arthur Stanley Maxwell

Strength of Will by Rev. Edward John Boyd Barrett, 1915, Nihil Obstat, Imprimatur

Those who think of devoting themselves to body-training are not repelled by the knowledge that daily exercises, which demand a certain sacrifice of time, and a certain expenditure of effort, are called for. It seems to them quite reasonable to pay the cost of what they buy. They are purchasers of well-developed muscles and finely shaped limbs, and they pay readily in daily portions the price, which is bodily exercise.

In like manner those who wish to train their memories are quite prepared to undertake certain tasks at certain times.

It would be strange if it were otherwise with those who desire to train their wills. Will-training is, of course, a gradual process, and in this it resembles body-training and memory-training. Little by little the will is built up. Little by little it is developed and perfected and frees itself from taint and disease. It is a slow process, but a very sure process. It demands, needless to say, much time and much earnestness.

Over and above time and earnestness, will-training costs effort, and that means self-sacrifice. Indeed, it is true to say that will-training costs what we are least ready to pay, for the discipline of daily exercises means self-sacrifice. It is better to admit this at once, and not to pretend that a strong will can be bought with a check, or won with a smile.

Strange to say, in order to train the will, will is needed. Will is self-trained. Will works on itself and perfects itself. If it did not preexist in us, there would be nothing to perfect, and no source of strength wherewith to work. For the will is called on at every step in will-training. It is the will which builds up the will by willing.

Perhaps, for the moment, these words are not plain and clear, but presently they will become so. In will-training no expenditure of effort is fruitless. All is banked for some future occasion. But more than this, we begin to draw interest at once on what we bank. Our will grows stronger gradually, and day by day we derive benefit from the exercises we have already accomplished.

This means very much, as the will enters into every action. Indeed, no faculty is so universal in its scope of activity as the will. From tying a boot-lace in the morning to switching off an electric lamp at night, the will enters into all we do. The question will doubtless be asked, “Is it possible to train the will? If one is already advanced in age, is it still possible?”

The answer is most decidedly in the affirmative. It is always possible to train, that is, to improve the will. No matter how weak and inefficient the will may have become, yet is it still possible to train it. There is no doctrine held more tenaciously by sane psychologists than this doctrine of the possibility of restoring and rebuilding the will, even when things have gone very far.

Some wills, of course, seem more capable than others of reaching a high degree of perfection. Not many men could acquire the willpower to joke about death and suffering, like Sir Thomas More or St. Laurence, even when in the bands of executioners. But all men can increase the strength of their will, and can so far throw off lethargy and laziness of character as to become energetic and strenuous.

Having prefaced these observations about the need for time, and effort, and gradual development in will-training, it may be well to indicate an important distinction between “reform of character” and “increase of willpower.” Many authors regard the “education of the will” as synonymous with self-perfection, self-culture, and the reform of character.

As a result, in books which profess to deal with will-training, much is said about the passions, ideals, sensuality, habits, meditation, day-dreaming, idea-force, self-conquest and such topics, but little is said of the precise means of curing will-disease and of acquiring will-force.

Indeed, it would seem that the word will is taken in far too broad and too general a sense, and that reform of character is looked upon as quite the same thing as increase of willpower. Now this is certainly not so.

It is quite conceivable that a man should have a very strong will, and yet care very little for culture or for the observing of the moral law. And further, it is quite conceivable that a man should set himself to develop and train his will, and should succeed in so doing, without ever entertaining the idea of making himself a more noble or more ideal character.

Men train their memories without any reference to morality, and men may well train their wills without any reference to morality. Without doubt when will-strength is acquired, passion can more easily be controlled. Without doubt, too, it usually happens that virtue and true strength of will go hand in hand.

But this does not gainsay the fact that virtue and will-strength are two quite different things, and that books professedly written on the “education of the will” should not be almost exclusively devoted to the consideration of good habits and self-culture.

A book on will-training should be as closely devoted to will-exercises, will-hygiene, and will-phenomena, as a book on body-training should be devoted to body-exercises, body-hygiene, and muscular phenomena. The will, like the intellect, is now an instrument of good, and now of evil.

The strong will, still improving and growing stronger, may become more and more an instrument of evil. It may co-exist with vicious passions, gross lack of culture, deplorable habits, and an utter contempt for the conventions of life. The will is an instrument, weak or powerful for good or evil, but only an instrument, although as our highest and noblest instrument it should be our object ever to perfect and raise it.

That it is important to have a strong will no one will deny. We all admire the man of strong will—he is more truly a man than other men. He has the power to master himself—to become “lord of himself” and sole ruler of his own forces.

He knows what he can do. He does what he sets himself to do. He wills to do what he does, and means what he wills. He knows his own mind, and puts his hand with confidence to do that on which he is resolved, neither over-impetuously nor over-indolently. Lethargy has no hold on him, and he scorns to give way to impulse.

Energetic and strenuous without being over-active, he is consistent and persevering. He is in earnest about his work, in beginning it, in continuing it, and in concluding it. He goes not a step beyond, nor does he fall a step short, of the just limit of his purpose. He uses his powers with ease and with assurance. He seems, as it were, to have possession of his own will; to be free in his independence. He wills.

His body in his hands is like a machine which he uses to accomplish his ends. That machine is started without a hitch, is governed and regulated as to speed and direction most smoothly, and is pulled up without a jerk by his will.

No engine-driver can control a locomotive as he controls his body. He does not care, usually, about boasting, or bullying, or flattering. He is too strong for that. He is not over-anxious to display his force. He knows he has power and he does not care if others know it or not. Rather, perhaps, he is aware that others do know and feel it intuitively.

He does not display his will-force by clenching his fists, and grinding his teeth, and convulsively heaving his breast like the heroes of the cinema. He is content to face his daily tasks with quiet assurance, and to carry out what his will wills.

When children are taught that their chores can be prayer….that the drudgery can be applied to the sufferings of some other child somewhere, who has no bed to make, who must spend his nights curled up in a hole, shivering, starved, unhappy, and with no one to care for him…those same chores can be changed into great spiritual joy! -Mary Reed Newland, How to Raise Good Catholic Children http://amzn.to/2op5ZSs (afflink)

Penal Rosaries!

Penal rosaries and crucifixes have a wonderful story behind them. They were used during the times when religious objects were forbidden and it was illegal to be Catholic. Being caught with a rosary could mean imprisonment or worse. A penal rosary is a single decade with the crucifix on one end and, oftentimes, a ring on the other. When praying the penal rosary you would start with the ring on your thumb and the beads and crucifix of the rosary in your sleeve, as you moved on to the next decade you moved the ring to your next finger and so on and so forth. This allowed people to pray the rosary without the fear of being detected. Available here.

A masterpiece that combines the visions of four great Catholic mystics into one coherent story on the life of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Based primarily on the famous revelations of Ven. Anne Catherine Emmerich and Ven. Mary of Agreda, it also includes many episodes described in the writings of St. Bridget of Sweden and St. Elizabeth of Schenau. To read this book, therefore, is to share in the magnificent visions granted to four of the most priviledged souls in the history of the Church.

In complete harmony with the Gospel story, this book reads like a masterfully written novel. It includes such fascinating details as the birth and infancy of Mary, her espousal to St. Joseph and her Assumption into Heaven where she was crowned Queen of Heaven and Earth.

For young and old alike, The Life of Mary As Seen by the Mystics will forever impress the reader with an inspiring and truly unforgettable understanding of the otherwise unknown facts concerning Mary and the Holy Family. Imprimatur.

He was called the man of his age, the voice of his century. His influence towered above that of his contemporaries, and his sanctity moved God himself. Men flocked to him–some in wonder, others in curiosity, but all drawn by the magnetism of his spiritual gianthood. Bernard of Clairvaux–who or what fashioned him to be suitable for his role of counseling Popes, healing schisms, battling errors and filling the world with holy religious and profound spiritual doctrine? Undoubtedly, Bernard is the product of God’s grace. But it is hard to say whether this grace is more evident in Bernard himself or in the extraordinary family in which God choose to situate this dynamic personality. This book is the fascinating account of a family that took seriously the challenge to follow Christ… and to overtake Him. With warmth and realism, Venerable Tescelin, Blesseds Alice, Guy, Gerard, Humbeline, Andrew, Bartholomew, Nivard and St. Bernard step off these pages with the engaging naturalness that atttacks imitation. Here is a book that makes centuries disappear, as each member of this unique family becomes an inspiration in our own quest of overtaking Christ.

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Human Respect – Helps to Happiness

30 Sunday May 2021

Posted by in Helps to Happiness, Virtues

≈ 2 Comments

from Helps to Happiness by Father John Carr, C.SS.R.

What a queer unmanageable sort of term is Human Respect. We see it so often in print and in practice that we now easily recognize it; but really, if we met it for the first time, most of us should not be able to make head or tail of it.

Used in its ordinary sense it is a moral cowardice keeping men from speaking or acting as they know they should, through fear of what others may think or say of them.

On the other hand, we must be careful not to have wrong ideas about moral courage. Moral courage does not mean parading; flaunting our virtues, trumpeting our good deeds, sky-writing our excellences, as did that Pharisee in the temple who reminded God what a fine fellow he was and how well he compared with the sinner whom he looked at from the corner of a disdaining eye.

It does not mean saying prayers and doing good and holy deeds “that we may be seen by men.”

Nor does moral courage mean singularity, when singularity is not called for. (At times we must be singular if we are to follow our conscience). But some people set out to be singular and affect originality in serving God. This looks dangerously like vanity and love of notice.

Nor does moral courage mean intruding our piety and our zeal for God’s glory and the good of souls. To pull out our rosary in a crowded bus, for instance, and ask the passengers to join in prayers for peace; to accost our neighbor in the public thoroughfare and question him on his compliance with his religious duties; to treat our fellow-travelers in a railway compartment to a little holy reading—all such exploits in moral daring would no doubt be a brave defiance of human respect, but would show an alarming lack of common-sense.

Human respect has enormous crimes to its account. Here are two:

Pilate sent Jesus Christ to His death through fear of being reported to his Roman masters. Herod had St. John the Baptist beheaded through fear of what his company would think of him if he broke a stupid oath he made when well in his cups.

Human respect can make men ashamed of doing the right thing and proud of doing the wrong.

Writing of his sinful boyhood, Saint Augustine says : “I invented things I had not done, lest I might be held cowardly for being innocent, or contemptible for being chaste.”

There is much moral cowardice amongst us. A smutty story is told in company. What keeps people from treating the smutty raconteur as he or she deserves? Human respect.

The good name of another is attacked. What keeps us from dissociating ourselves from the attack, at least by our silence? Human respect.

What makes many people, even passing for good Catholics, more afraid of being caught with a holy book in their hands than with a risque novel? Human respect.

This statement once emanated from a body of Protestant bishops: “People are more ashamed today to mention God’s name than to tell an obscene story. It is scarcely too much to say that in our daily speech the Creator is almost taboo in His own creation.

Men seem to be the worst offenders in this matter. Men who would at once accept a challenge to fight, who would be heroes on the battlefield and the first over the top, who would risk life and limb to save a life, will shrivel up before a taunt or a sneer.

They would fear being caught with a rosary in their hand, or carrying a fair-sized prayerbook, or saluting a church, or joining a sodality, or going to Mass on a week-day, or making the Way of the Cross. They would fear what the other fellows might say—the other fellows and “their sisters and their cousins their aunts.”

And the folly of it! How often we fear that others are thinking queerly of us and they are not thinking of us at all!

Anyhow, they think little of us for following our conscience, they would probably think less of us for not following it through fear them.

How many bad Christians does not Human Respect keep from becoming good! How many good from becoming better!

The great St. Bernard wrote in his rule that whenever the monastic bell rang, the monks were to drop what they were doing and go to whatever they were being called to.

In our homes, our monastic bell is all the many things beckoning at us throughout the day…the diapers to be changed, the dishes that need doing, the laundry that needs to be done, etc.

We respond to these things right away, even though we many not want to, remembering that these duties are the very things that will make us holy.
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My Disclaimer: This book is, in general, appropriate for ages 14 and up.

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Hands Free Mama is the digital society’s answer to finding balance in a media-saturated, perfection-obsessed world. It doesn’t mean giving up all technology forever. It doesn’t mean forgoing our jobs and responsibilities. What it does mean is seizing the little moments that life offers us to engage in real and meaningful interaction. It means looking our loved ones in the eye and giving them the gift of our undivided attention, living a present, authentic, and intentional life despite a world full of distractions.

With his facile pen and from the wealth of his nation-wide experience, the well-known author treats anything and everything that might be included under the heading of home education: the pre-marriage training of prospective parents, the problems of the pre-school days down through the years of adolescence. No topic is neglected. “What is most praiseworthy is Fr. Lord’s insistence throughout that no educational agency can supplant the work that must be done by parents.” – Felix M. Kirsch, O.F.M. https://amzn.to/2T06u28 (afflink)

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Fr. Lasance Tidbits for Your Day… Reading/Faults of Those We Love, Etc.

16 Sunday May 2021

Posted by in Family Life, Tidbits for Your Day, Virtues

≈ 2 Comments

Reading, a Molder of Character

The inspiration of a single book has made teachers, preachers, philosophers, authors, and statesmen.

The first book read by one has often appeared before him through life as a beacon which has saved him from many a danger. On the other hand, the demoralizing effects of one book have made profligates and criminals.

Many youths and adults now in prison trace the beginning of their downfall to the reading of a bad book.

A man’s character is shown by the books he reads.

Good books add to the happiness of a home. The true university of these days is a collection of books.-Carlyle

The Bible, “The Lives of the Saints,“ and “The Imitation of Christ “ought to be well thumbed.

It is quite reasonable to look for a Catholic magazine and a Catholic newspaper on the library table of the Catholic home.

The Catholic press ought to be supported by every Catholic family. It is a mighty apostolate; the good it does is incalculable.

The house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body.-Ossoli.

People are not usually better than the books they read.-Anonymous

There is no friend so faithful as a good book. There is no worse robber than a bad book.-Italian proverb

The books which help you most are those which make you think the most.-Theodore Parker.

A habit all should cultivate, is oft to read and ruminate.

Tears not how much but how well we read. -Anonymous

Books should to one of these four ends conduce:
For wisdom, piety, delight, or use.-Deham

The Faults of Those we Love

Who does not know, alas, the touching charm with which death envelops all memories? The faults of those who are gone are forgotten, for we have ceased to suffer from them.

We feel only the void which our loved ones have left, and however wayward their course, we can recall a time in their lives that was good, sentiments that were noble and touching. This period and these sentiments are our most vivid memories, and suffice to make us regret them.

Ah, why should we only discover the virtues of those who love us when it is too late to appreciate them, to enjoy them, and to let our loved ones see that we appreciate them!

Little Kindnesses

No single great deed is comparable to the multitude of little kindnesses performed by those unselfish souls who forget their own sorrows and, as true followers of Christ, scatter happiness on every side, and strew all life with hope and good cheer.

The Power of Silence

What a strange power there is in silence! How many resolutions are formed – how many sublime conquests effected during that pause when the lips are closed and the soul secretly feels the eye of her Maker upon her.

When some of these cutting, sharp, blighting words have been spoken, which send the hot indignant blood to the face and head, if those to whom they are addressed keep silent, look on with awe, for a mighty work is going on within them, and the spirit of evil or their guardian angel is very near to them in that hour.

During that pause they have made a step toward heaven or toward hell, and an item has been scored in the book which the Day of Judgment shall see opened.

They are the strong ones of the earth, the mighty forces for good or evil, those who know how to keep silence when it is a pain or grief to them.

Keep Your Eye on Heaven

If the sun is going down, look up at the stars; if the earth is dark, keep your eye on heaven. With God’s presence and God’s promises, anyone may be cheerful.

Use Your Gentlest Voice at Home

I would say to all: use your gentlest voice at home. Watch it day by day as a pearl of great price; for it will be worth more to you in days to come than the best pearl hid in the sea.

A kind voice is joy, like a lark’s song, to a hearth at home. Train it to sweet tones now, and it will keep in tune through life. -Elihu Burritt

St. Francis DeSales says:

“Accustom yourself in all that you do to act and speak gently and quietly, and you will see that in a short time you will completely control that abrupt impulsiveness.“

“Courage! Let us keep on in the low valleys of the little virtues. I love these three little virtues: gentleness of heart, firmness of mind, and simplicity of life.“

“Do not be quick to speak. Say much by a modest and judicious silence.“

“Great evenness of temper, continual gentleness, and suavity of heart are more rare than perfect charity, yet very desirable.“

“Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

We seek happiness in many things yet we aren’t really happy. Why? You have made us for yourself & our hearts are restless till they rest in you, O Lord.

❤️🌹Our first line of defense is the bond we must have with our husband. Besides our spiritual life, which gives us the grace to do so, we must put our relationship with our husband first. It is something we work on each day.

How do we do this? Many times it is just by a tweaking of the attitude, seeing things from a different perspective. It is by practicing the virtues….self-sacrifice, submission, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.

The articles in this maglet will help you with these things. They are written by authors that are solid Catholics, as well as authors with old-fashioned values….
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