Tips for Chaste Company-Keeping ~ Fr. Lovasik

From Clean Love in Courtship, Fr. Lovasik

Your most powerful ally in your noble struggle for decency is your religion. It takes you by the hand, guiding you over the pitfalls that beset your way, and puts your feet safely upon the paths that lead to the sunlit mountain peaks of nobility of character and purity. Not only does it make clear the moral law and supply sanctions for its observance, but it offers you aids to carry out that law.

While the preservation of purity calls for a constant and determined struggle, you are not struggling single-handedly. God is always ready and willing to help you with His grace. “God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able, but will make also with temptation issue, that you may be able to bear it.” (Cor. 10:13.)

With God’s all-powerful help, you can win every victory. This grace of God is obtained through the sacraments, prayer, self-denial, and a tender love for Jesus and Mary.

Regular Confession

Regular confession keeps your soul in order. It is God’s means of ridding you of and preserving you from the greatest evil in the world—sin. For this reason it is a source of peace and joy.

In the Sacrament of Penance:

I. You receive sanctifying grace if it has been lost by mortal sin (this grace is increased if it had not been lost)

II. Your sins are forgiven

III. You are freed from eternal punishment due to any mortal sin, and from a part, at least, of the temporal punishment due to your sins

IV. You receive actual grace, which is God’s help to enable you to do good and avoid sin in the future

V. You get back the merits of the good works you have lost by mortal sin. Remember that the most important part of confession is not so much the telling of your sins, as perfect sorrow for them.

Your contrition is perfect when you are sorry because your sins offended God, whom you should love above all things for His own sake. But contrition is also a hatred for the sins you committed, with a firm purpose of sinning no more.

This means that you must really want to make up your mind not to sin any more and to try hard to keep away from whatever leads to sin, such as bad companions, bad places, bad reading.

If you do not really want to keep away from mortal sin and from whatever will surely lead you into it, you make a bad confession.

In confessing sins of impurity, remember the following:

I. If you have real mortal sins to confess, then you must tell what you did and how often you did it. A confessor must know the kind of sin (self- abuse, immodest embracing, fornication) and the number of times; otherwise he may not give absolution. This does not mean’ that you must give a detailed description of your thoughts or acts.

II. If you are confessing sins of impurity and you mean only venial sins (negligence in regard to thoughts, lack of sufficient reason in external acts) or mere temptations (imaginations or feelings that were not willful), then indicate this to the confessor by saying, “I had bad thoughts, but they were not willful” or “I tried to get rid of them.” Otherwise he may think you mean mortal sins.

III. If you wish to confess doubtful sins (you doubt about consent, or whether you confessed the matter before), mention your doubt.

Strictly speaking, doubtful sins do not have to be confessed, though it is better to do so, unless your confessor decides otherwise. Nor do you have to abstain from Holy Communion when you merely doubt whether you have sinned.

You must be absolutely sure of having committed a mortal sin before you can say that you are not able to go to Communion.

However, you should make an act of perfect contrition which will dispose your soul for the reception of the Sacrament.

IV. If you have difficulties in regard to chastity or if you are inclined to be scrupulous, you should have a regular confessor. His advice will be more valuable since he will know the condition of your soul and the problems you must meet.

Trust him, for God commissioned him to be your friend and your soul’s guardian. Go to Confession every week or at least once a month.

This will enable you not only to cleanse your soul from sin, but also to correct your faults and keep yourself pleasing to God. It is one of the best means of keeping courtship clean and happy.

Although girls of today are entering open doors of opportunity everywhere, becoming teachers, businesswomen, and social leaders, yet most of them will after all in time become homemakers and mothers.

And since this is the life work of the many, ought not they all to be accomplished in those things they will need the most?

Since practically all girls have a home to learn these things in, ought they not to take advantage of their opportunities? The world will call the woman accomplished who can take her place in the social life and work of the world, but let us not forget these homely accomplishments which are the real foundations of woman’s work and place in life.

After passing through the fears of childhood, experience teaches us that many fears are groundless. And we protect ourselves against unreasonable fears. Yet oftentimes the environment and our imagination lead us to see dangers where there are really none. Or they may magnify our fears a hundredfold….

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The Ways of Mental Prayer ~ Available here.

The Ways of Mental Prayer ranks as one of the Church’s greatest classics on prayer, and was highly recommended as such by Fr. Garrigou-LaGrange, the 20th Century’s greatest authority on mystical theology.

Here Dom Vital Lehodey, Abbot of Bricquebec, concentrates on the beginning stages of prayer, up through what is called the prayer of quiet, but he also describes the higher forms of prayer as well, including the very summit, or the prayer of union. In the process, he explains the advantages, the trials and—yes—the joys of mental prayer, plus he gives practical instructions on the methods of practicing this type of prayer.

He also shows what to avoid and how to overcome the difficulties involved. By far the salient strength of this book is its description of how one goes from ordinary prayer to mystical prayer, which constitutes the giant step in the spiritual life. A wise and learned guide to spiritual matters, The Ways of Mental Prayer is a work destined to lead many to divine intimacy—a foretaste of Heaven on earth.

How to Get More Out of Holy Communion ~ Available here.

If going to Mass and taking Communion has become just another routine for you, don’t assume that indifference is an ordinary part of growing mature in the Faith. On the contrary: your love of Communion should be growing stronger. You can strengthen it now with this wise book from a little-known saint, Peter Julian Eymard.

St. Peter shows you how surprisingly easy it is to break out of the dullness that can settles into your soul, obscuring the glory of meeting your Lord in Communion. You’ll learn from him how to approach Holy Communion not as a duty, but as a preparation for Heaven. His direction can help you, too, to draw on the spiritual resources God gives you in every Communion.

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