Article by Catherine de Hueck Doherty, Nazareth Family Spirituality, Madonna House Publications
Catherine was brought up in Russia and had many fond memories of her life there….a life that reflected simplicity, family, religion. After fleeing Russia during the Communist Revolution, she eventually came into the Catholic Church. Catherine prayed much that her motherland would be freed from Communist rule so that people could once again openly practice their faith.
Preaching by Example
When I was growing up in Russia, my father was a diplomat. One time he and my mother gave a big, fancy tea party at our home for several hundred ambassadors and dignitaries. We were in the middle of having formal tea, with everyone using nice china and so forth.
I was about nine years old at the time, and I was allowed to be there, all dressed up and carrying little cakes and being polite. Suddenly, the butler opened the door and announced to my father, “Christ is at the door.”
Well, the French ambassador’s wife dropped her expensive tea cup on the rug. She was not used to such interruptions!
Father excused himself, mother excused herself, and off they went. And whom did they welcome? A hobo who had come to the door begging. And what did they do? My mother and father served him themselves, even though we had fourteen servants in the house.
My mother laid out the best linen, the most expensive silver and our best china and so forth, and she served a hobo. My father did likewise. I saw all of this and I wanted to serve the hobo too, but Mother said, “Oh no. You were not obedient last week; you cannot serve Christ unless you are obedient.”
So, in my little mind, to serve the poor was a great honor and a great joy. Now that’s Christianity. You don’t have to have catechism lessons when you see that sort of thing. That was how my parents treated the poor, so that was what my brother and I learned from growing up in that kind of household, thanks be to God.
Of course, I was like any other kid too. I would say, “Well, do we live in a monastery or something like that?”
My parents would say, “No. We live in a family, of which Christ is the head.”
So, in the end, it all seemed quite natural to me to serve the poor. Christ was in the poor and we must serve him.
Remedy for Pain: Forgiveness
We must forgive the society from which we came; we must forgive the ways it has hurt us. We must have forgiveness for all the pain that we have unknowingly experienced, even in the womb before our birth. We must forgive those who may not have understood us, or have seemingly neglected us, or perhaps even rejected us. It is especially important that we forgive our parents for their human frailties.
If we can generate that first impulse of forgiveness within ourselves, then—like lightning going through a darkened sky—our forgiveness will cover everything! It will flash across our memories as a lighthouse scans the sea, so that whenever its rays illuminate anything that we think has hurt us, the touch of that light will bring forgiveness into our hearts and bless those whom we forgive.
As I pondered this word forgiveness, another word suddenly came forth: reconciliation. Forgiveness will bring reconciliation; and I know there has to be reconciliation among nations, among peoples, among all of us. We have to be reconciled to God first, then to ourselves, and then to the whole world—including whoever has hurt us.
But we have to do more than that! If our forgiveness isn’t accepted, we have to turn the other cheek. This is not easy, but Christ, who is the way, found the going pretty rough too. So if we are walking with him, that is what we can expect also.
“May I Come Into Your Kitchen?”
Dear Parents: May I come into your kitchen? May I have a nice, hot, strong cup of tea, with plenty of sugar and milk? There. That’s better. I like kitchens, don’t you? They are to me the heart of the home.
I wish you had a wood stove like we have in Madonna House. It is the coziest thing, next to a fireplace. But I guess that is asking too much from modern living. Anyhow there is nothing wrong with progress. Kitchens are nice, even without wood stoves… Yes… where was I?
Oh, yes, I was going to drink that nice tea and have a visit with you folks in your nice kitchen, and just talk about this and that and the other thing.
The first thing that comes in my mind is the Liturgical Year, and how a family could celebrate the big feasts of God’s big Family, the Church. There are some wonderful books that will tell you all about every feast, and how to celebrate it.
Before we can even begin to use any books, however, we, the adults, the parents of the household, must make an examination of conscience. Husband and wife should talk things out most thoroughly. (Incidentally, that kind of examination of conscience must be done together aloud.) They must see what is lacking, if anything, in the way they know and practice their Holy Faith.
There is, of course, the matter of morning and evening prayers, and grace before and after meals, that precedes any book reading, and the implementation of any extra liturgical customs.
Prompt, early attendance at Sunday Mass by the whole family together (whenever possible), confessions and communions, and daily family Rosary, come next in the collective examination of conscience of Papa and Mama.
If these fundamentals of Catholicism are attended to, and are all ship-shape and in order, Father and Mother can go on examining the next points. What about good Catholic books? And what about just good books, not necessarily Catholic? Classical literature? Good fiction and nonfiction? Are your children and you going to be deprived of your spiritual and cultural heritage, of the greatest friends man ever had? Books are truly the friends of a lifetime. Friends that never fail.
Do you ever read aloud to the children? It keeps the family together. And it gives children a beautiful heritage of memories. Such readings are truly a family affair, and spring boards for much wholesome discussion and fun.
Perhaps the all-time favorite for Christian story telling is C.S. Lewis’s The Narnia Chronicles, a work translated into 47 languages. The Lord of the Rings, “fundamentally religious and Catholic”, according to its author, is a favorite for teens.
Morning prayers. Evening prayers. Grace before and after meals. Family Rosary. Prompt and early family attendance at Sunday Mass. Regular weekly confessions and Communions (to begin with).
Good Catholic reading for the family, in the shape of Catholic newspapers and magazines (for all members of the family except baby). The slow building of a home library. Reading together. This is what I would call the first part of the parental collective examination of conscience.
Thanks for the tea, for taking me into the heart of your home, the kitchen; and for the company. Keep that kettle boiling…I will be back.
The Dining Room—Center of the Home
Dear Parents, Slowly, we begin to understand that the Catholic faith is not only a matter of attending Mass on Sundays and doing the bare minimum our Church requires, for even these practices of Catholicism are but means to an end. Living the Catholic faith is a way of life that embraces every minute of our waking and sleeping hours; it permeates our lives at work, at home, in school, on a date, from the cradle to the grave.
Once we understand this, a change will take place in our hearts, and the ultimate goal of life will stand out more and more clearly. We shall know, and understand well, that we have been created to love. We shall understand that all vocations we may embrace, including marriage, are vocations to love.
Love whom? God and neighbor. Why? To enjoy union with God (the Beatific Vision) for eternity. For fundamentally, we shall be judged on “how we loved,” as St. Augustine said. God then will cease to be a distant nebulous being, and become our daily companion.
Little by little, we shall cease to look at life with human eyes and begin to see it with God’s eyes. Then a great change and a great peace will come to us, and we will have begun to put the house of our soul in order.
With this process, knowledge and prayer must go hand in hand. And with prayer and knowledge, the reception of the sacraments by parents and children will become more frequent. The supernatural foundations will be laid for a healthy, orderly, happy Catholic life. Then the vicious circle of neurotic, self-centered existence, rendering God lip service only and spawning unhappiness for oneself and one’s offspring, will be a thing of the past.
A few “how tos” will remain to be solved. These will, in reality, amount to techniques of inculcating all the above into the family circle. Strangely enough, the first of these techniques is to return to real homemaking. That would mean mother busy only at her true role of mother, homemaker, and wife, and father working as the breadwinner.
Next should come meals. It is wonderful, of course, to have a lovely modern kitchen with a breakfast nook. But breakfast nooks were not made for large families, nor are they conducive to a home atmosphere. They rather imitate the corner drug store where a bunch of skinny kids pile into a booth and order hot dogs and Cokes.
No. Let the dining room of your home, or the big kitchen, if there is one, become once again the heart of the family. Let the meal begin on time, and all the members of the family be on time for it, washed and ready to eat good, homemade food. Maybe even the soup tureen could reappear, and father re-learn how to carve poultry and roasts.
Let the meal be leisurely, started with prayer and ended with prayer. A thoughtful meal, where everyone watches for the needs of the others. A relaxed meal, where the whole family shares the events and happenings of the day.
The breaking of bread is a holy and joyous occasion always—or should be. Christ used bread to feed us with himself. It was at a meal that he instituted the sacrament of the Eucharist.
In all ages and in all climes, meals have had sacred connotations of hospitality, of sharing, of completion and joy. In all ages, alas, except in our rushing, purposeless days!
Through meals children are easily taught the feast days of the year. Through them they learn much of their faith. For meals always (or almost always) accompanied God’s way with man.
Just consider the Passover meal and the bitter herbs and so forth, and the desert, where the manna rained down as food. Through centuries many dishes have become symbols of feasts. You will be amazed how much you can teach your family through cooking and meals.
When we eat with others, we have a feast called an agape, a feast of love. That is why it is so tragic to see more and more an absence of a dining room in the houses of today.
Almost gone is the peaceful, quiet family supper where parents listen to children, and children can dialogue with parents. Today we run in, grab something, and rush out! No wonder the physical health of people is deteriorating. And spiritual health deteriorates too—communication is not there.
Christ took ordinary bread and wine not only to feed us, but also to establish communion, communication, between himself and us. A cook takes ordinary foods and transforms them into a pleasant meal. If we think that sort of thing is dull and uninteresting, we miss the boat. We miss the boat of communication.
We have seen that communication does not necessarily mean talking. Communication can mean serving something good and nutritious—it means loving. If a meal is an agape, we should restore some kind of a table—a kitchen table or a dining room table—at which people gather together in love.
“The family who eats together loves one another.”
But Poppa comes in at one time, Momma another, everybody is busy, and the family does not meet. It is a tragic situation.
A meal can be called a sacramental, because its purpose is to strengthen us for the service of Love, of God. But all around us are the signs of our forgetfulness, of our being “lost”. The term “fast food” has become part of our vocabulary, and our lives.
Often our homes are arranged so that the family eats at something resembling a lunch counter, something that may be utilitarian, occupy little space, but is ungracious. They are far removed from anything dimly resembling the kind of “gracious living” lived in Nazareth—for all things the Lord did were gracious.
Let us eat for the glory of God—graciously, peacefully, joyously. Let the food be prepared carefully, prayerfully, lovingly, to the best of one’s ability.
“Regularity in meals is another thing the wise housekeeper will insist upon in her abode. Regularity and punctuality, how delightful they are, and how they ease the roll of the domestic wheels! A punctual and tidy woman makes a punctual and tidy home.” -Annie S. Swan, Courtship and Marriage And the Gentle Art of Home-Making, 1894
ST. BENEDICT BRACELETS! Spiritual Protection
Available here.
One of the powerful weapons in spiritual combat is the St. Benedict medal. Used for centuries, this medal has been associated with many miracles, as well as with powers of exorcism.
St. Benedict medals are used in many ways, but always as a protection against evil. Some people bury them in the foundations of new buildings to keep them free from evil influences, while others attach them to rosaries or hang them on the wall in their homes. But the most common way to use the St. Benedict medal is to wear it. The medal can be worn by itself or embedded in a crucifix.
Regardless of how it is used, the medal should always be blessed with the special St. Benedict blessing. While, in former times, only Benedictines could bless the medal, now any priest can.
One of the best books ever written on the spiritual life, in my opinion!
Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales
Available here.
As no sensible person would make a long road trip without first consulting a map, so the person intent upon gaining Heaven should first resort to a competent guide to reach that Goal of all goals. And no better guide to Heaven exists than An Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622), Doctor of the Church. It is at once easy to read, being laid out in short chapters, yet thorough, authoritative, reliable, kind and gentle a mirror of its author. It is a book, moreover, for all, because all are called to the devout life. True devotion to God, the author points out, adorns every vocation. The devout life, moreover, is a lovely, a pleasant, and a happy life. (p. 5)
Addressed as a personal letter to Philothea, the lover of God which genuinely represents the reader the book covers: our first desire to lead a devout life to our full resolution to do so, how we should approach God in prayer and the Sacraments, the practice of 16 important virtues, remedies against ordinary temptations, and becoming confirmed in our practice of devotion. St. Francis says, Devotion is spiritual agility and vivacity, by means of which charity works in us, or we in her, with love and readiness; and as charity leads us to obey and fulfill all God s Commandments, so devotion leads us to obey them with promptitude and diligence. (p. 3)
An Introduction to the Devout Life is a book to be read with pencil in hand. It is a book to be read again and again. It is a book to make your guide for the rest of your life. It goes to the heart of becoming good. Its aim is to help you be rid of sin and even the inclinations to sin. Alone, its 10 brief meditations in Part I will orient you toward God for the rest of your life. No one will come away without being profoundly impressed and without being motivated to enter upon the devout life . . . which leads ultimately to God and to Heaven.
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