My husband and I celebrated our 40th Anniversary this year. When you have been together that long, you take things for granted but we are both generous in granting each other the freedom to have individual interests.
Of course, we share many things together but they are usually not intentional. They are family things…which indeed we are grateful for!
This article is a call to make these “couple” times more intentional…which will sometimes mean sacrifice. With that sacrifice, comes blessings…as we have seen with all sacrifices made in the name of love. Your marriage is worth it!
Togetherness
The wise wife has banished the spirit of independence from her heart.
“I think it’s pretty sweet—the way you always check in with your husband before committing to do most anything.”
Sweet is not necessarily the word I would have used. But I do always “check in” with him. And he with me. Because we’ve made it our practice to think and act as one. Some people—like my friend—think it’s sweet. It makes other people shudder, as though we’re somehow just too “into” each other.
Do I ever feel stifled, hindered, or slowed down by this whole “oneness” thing? Admittedly, it was a new way for me to look at life—this life we’re now sharing together—but the Bible states that we are no longer two people as we were before; we are now one flesh.
What exactly does that mean? Surely not simply that we sleep together. Not that it isn’t important (because it is), but it must mean more than that. One flesh is mentioned in such a way as not merely to be a matter of going to bed with him. “The two shall become one…” (Matthew 19:5). No longer he and me—because now it’s we.
And you know what we’ve found? It takes a little—okay, a lot—of practice and intentionality. We have to purpose to think and act as one.
One of the ways that we practice unity is by not making independent decisions. We make all our major decisions together and run many minor ones by each other as well. And yes, I do believe in submitting to my husband because that’s what God says in His Word (Ephesians 5:22).
But at the same time, I’m blessed to be married to a man who values my opinion and cares deeply about my concerns. We aim to be of one mind as much as possible.
Another way we practice unity is by communicating our togetherness. That’s the real reason why I “always check in with him.” And maybe it is rather sweet. But it’s more than that, too. It’s oneness, and it’s biblical. It’s marriage—no longer two, but one.
Dear Lord,
Please help me to enjoy the sweet unity of making all my life decisions with my husband in mind. Teach me to be thoughtful of him and to live like we are a team, not like I am a single woman.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Challenge:
Tell your husband how much you enjoy doing life with him. Make a commitment that you’ll check with him before making any big plans.
Catholic Prayer:
Heavenly Father,
You have joined my husband and I in Holy Matrimony so that our love might mirror Your divine love for the Church. Grant me the grace to live this sacred unity joyfully and faithfully. Help me to be thoughtful of my husband, to act always with him in mind, and to build our home in peace and charity.
Through the intercession of the Holy Family—Jesus, Mary, and Joseph—teach us to think, pray, and act as one. May our marriage bring glory to You and strength to our family.
Amen.
“I made the things of this life for you, so that you may perfect yourself by using them intelligently. Let My words and example guide you in everything you do…..” ~My Daily Bread If you enjoy this video , please Like and Subscribe.
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One of my favorite books! Achieving Peace of Heart ~ Available here.
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Another Favorite! Searching For and Maintaining Peace,
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Peace of heart is a pure gift of God. We should seek it and ask Him for it.
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Thank you. I believe also to check in with my husband and as a team we are stronger. I am grateful for him and always look to him to guide us together.
Congratulations on 40 years!!! 🥂💞
A very good reading for being together… It can be difficult just like the author said at times, but it’s much better than the alternative.
Thank you!