Directing Your Child ~ Rev. George A. Kelly

The Catholic Family Handbook – Rev. George A. Kelly

Your child’s goal is a happy, holy adulthood in which he serves God and man. He will make much progress toward this goal simply by following his natural urges to grow physically and mentally, and by observing you in your everyday relationship.

But he should also be directed formally toward his goal by your direct teaching. Three principles are involved:

1. You alone have this authority to teach.

It is your right given by God as an attribute of your parenthood. Moreover, no one can take it from you, so long as you fulfill your obligation to exercise it. Christian society has always recognized that the authority of the father and mother is unquestioned. For instance, in most states of the Union, a child is legally subject to his parents until he is eighteen.

2. Respect for authority is earned, not imposed.

Children will always respond to authority when it is just and when they respect the parent who exercises it. They will ignore or disobey authority when it is unjust or when the parent has forfeited their respect.

A father cannot expect his child to obey his rules if, for example, he consistently passes red lights and commits other traffic violations and thus shows that he himself disregards the laws of society. Likewise, your child will respect you only when you show by your actions that you respect him.

3. Your authority must be used.

One “modern” father decided not to teach his child anything about God so that the child could choose his own religion himself when he grew up.

This man could just as well have argued that he would not try to inculcate any virtues; that the child could choose between honesty and dishonesty, between truth and falsehood, or between loving his country and hating it.

Precisely because you are more experienced, you must decide on all matters affecting your child’s welfare. You would not wait for him to decide when to see a doctor to treat his illness; you would call the doctor as soon as you decided that his services were necessary. You would not allow your seven-year-old to choose a school; you would make the decision without even consulting him.

As your child develops, he should exercise an increasing amount of authority over his own actions.

When he is eight, you will decide which Mass he should attend on Sundays; when he is eighteen, the decision probably will be his. When he is seven, you will exercise a strong control over his reading matter; at seventeen, he himself will exercise a choice.

Allow your child to make decisions for himself on unimportant matters first. In questions involving the important areas–his religious duties, choice of school, etc., give freedom slowly and carefully.

For instance, your teenager might be free to decide whether to attend a sports event on a Sunday afternoon, but he has no freedom to decide whether to attend Mass on Sunday morning.

A Final Thought

The authority of Christian parents is not a privilege granted by society but a sacred trust bestowed by God. It exists, not to satisfy a parent’s wishes, but to lead immortal souls safely toward Heaven.

In an age that often mistakes guidance for control and discipline for oppression, mothers and fathers can be tempted to step back, fearing they may be too strict or too influential. Yet children do not need parents who merely stand by while they “find their own way.” They need parents who lovingly show them the way.

True parental authority is never harsh domination. It is patient instruction, consistent example, wise correction, and steadfast love. It teaches not only by words but by the quiet witness of daily life. A child who sees his parents pray, keep their promises, speak truthfully, sacrifice for one another, and faithfully practice their religion is receiving lessons that no classroom can equal.

As children mature, they should indeed assume greater responsibility for their own choices. But the freedom they are given should rest upon a foundation that has already been carefully laid. Genuine freedom is not the liberty to choose whatever one desires; it is the ability to choose what is good.

One day your children will no longer live beneath your roof. They will make their own decisions, raise families of their own, and stand before God to give an account of their lives. The habits, convictions, and faith you patiently cultivated during their childhood will remain one of the greatest gifts you could ever leave them.

Parent well, then, with confidence and charity. God entrusted these souls to you for a time. Guide them faithfully while they are in your care, and leave the rest in His loving Providence.

In a happy home, parents often hold firm against other allurements which tempt them to put the needs of their children in an inferior place. Such allurements include the desire for an overly active social life, the constant pursuit of pleasure in the form of commercial entertainment and the exclusive choice of hobbies (golf, cards, dancing clubs, etc.) from which children are excluded. -Fr. George Kelly, 1950’s

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The pages in this maglet (magazine/booklet) is for the Catholic wife…to inspire her in the daily walk as a Godly, feminine, loving wife. As wives, we have a unique calling, a calling that causes us to reach into our innermost being in order to give ourselves to our husbands the way Christ would desire.We, as women, have the awesome responsibility AND power to make or break our marriages and our relationships. Let’s not wait to fix it AFTER it is broken.It is all about self-sacrifice, thankfulness, kindness, graciousness, etc.The articles in this maglet reflect these virtues and will serve to inspire and encourage. It is a Catholic maglet, based on solid Catholic principles.

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