✨Building Character: The Greatest Gift We Can Give Our Children✨
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6
Every Christian parent has been entrusted with a sacred mission. God has not simply asked us to raise successful adults, but to form saints. Our children are immortal souls created for Heaven, and the habits they learn in the home will often become the habits they carry throughout life.
Character is not built overnight. It is patiently formed by thousands of ordinary choices, loving corrections, faithful examples, and daily acts of virtue. The home is the first school of holiness, and parents are its first teachers.
The influences we allow into our homes either strengthen virtue or weaken it. Every conversation, every book, every song, every friendship, and every form of entertainment is quietly helping to shape the hearts of our children.
As St. John Bosco reminds us:
“Good books are the best friends; they instruct us at all times.”
Laying the Foundation
Before strong character can develop, children need a secure foundation.
A loving home where their physical and emotional needs are met gives them the security they need to flourish. They should be taught obedience, good manners, responsibility, diligence, and a willingness to work. These everyday lessons prepare the heart to embrace the higher virtues.
Only after this foundation is laid can parents begin the deeper work of forming Christian character.
The Virtues That Build Character
Character rests upon two beautiful groups of virtues.
The first are the strong virtues that give firmness and stability:
- Self-mastery
- Honesty
- Chastity
- Dependability
- Diligence
- Moral courage
- Self-restraint
- Perseverance
- Frugality
The second are the gentle virtues that make strength attractive:
- Love
- Charity
- Kindness
- Patience
- Forgiveness
- Unselfishness
- Fairness
- Humility
- Sympathy
- Understanding
- Sensitivity
- Generosity
- Optimism
When these virtues work together, they reveal something beautiful: holiness is not weakness. True goodness is the greatest strength a person can possess.
As St. Francis de Sales wrote:
“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength.”
The Vices That Destroy Character
Just as virtue builds the soul, vice slowly weakens it.
Pride, selfishness, greed, hatred, jealousy, envy, resentment, laziness, dishonesty, lack of self-discipline, uncontrolled anger, and willful ignorance often lead to sinful habits such as impurity, drunkenness, drug abuse, gambling, lying, cheating, theft, injustice, cruelty, and violence.
Parents cannot make every choice for their children forever, but they can spend the early years strengthening virtue while protecting them from influences that nourish vice.
Guarding Young Hearts
Our children must eventually face the world. We cannot shelter them forever.
But while their consciences are still tender, it is both wise and loving to remove as many corrupting influences as possible. As their virtue matures, they will be far better prepared to resist temptation with conviction rather than simply avoid it.
One of the greatest safeguards parents can provide is a peaceful home built upon a faithful and loving marriage.
Beyond that, we should carefully consider the influences that fill our homes.
Music
Music reaches places words alone often cannot.
Songs that glorify impurity, selfishness, rebellion, or vulgarity slowly shape the imagination and dull the conscience. Repeated often enough, sinful behavior begins to seem ordinary.
Parents should know what their children are listening to and, especially with older children, patiently discuss the messages hidden beneath catchy melodies. Rather than relying only upon rules, help children develop good judgment so they willingly choose what elevates rather than degrades.
Movies
Movies can be equally influential.
Many films considered “acceptable” today contain vulgar language, suggestive scenes, or moral confusion in which dishonesty, immorality, or wrongdoing are portrayed as admirable or without consequence.
Well-written stories and talented actors make these messages all the more persuasive.
Whenever possible, parents should know what a movie contains before allowing children to watch it, whether by viewing it themselves, reading trustworthy reviews, or seeking reliable recommendations.
As with music, appealing to a child’s conscience is often more effective than relying solely on rules. Help children understand why certain entertainment weakens virtue and encourage them to choose higher standards for themselves. Nevertheless, parents should not hesitate to prohibit entertainment that is clearly harmful.
Internet, Books, and Magazines
Never before has corruption been so readily available.
Pornography and immoral literature wound the imagination, distort relationships, and can become deeply addictive. Children should understand that the mind remembers what the eyes repeatedly see. Images often remain long after the screen has been turned off.
Teach children to flee these dangers rather than flirt with them.
As St. Philip Neri wisely counseled:
“In the time of temptation, one must fly rather than conquer.”
Likewise, St. Alphonsus Liguori reminds us:
“He who guards his eyes preserves his soul.”
Filling the home with good books, wholesome stories, and beautiful art helps cultivate a love for what is true, good, and beautiful.
Television
Television can be either a blessing or a burden.
Educational programs, documentaries, and wholesome entertainment can enrich family life. Parents also have the opportunity to discuss objectionable scenes, turning them into valuable teaching moments.
Yet television can easily consume precious hours and expose children to ideas that undermine virtue. Moderation, careful planning, and parental supervision remain essential.
Friends and Social Activities
Our children are deeply influenced by the companions they keep.
Friends with poor standards, unsupervised parties, and environments where alcohol or drugs are present can gradually weaken even good intentions.
Parents have both the right and the responsibility to protect their children from these situations while helping older children understand the reasons behind family boundaries.
One of the greatest blessings parents can provide is a circle of faithful Catholic friends and wholesome family recreation that makes virtue attractive.
Character Is Formed One Day at a Time
Character is rarely shaped by dramatic moments. It is formed quietly—in morning prayers, cheerful obedience, honest work, family meals, thoughtful conversations, sacrifices made without complaint, forgiveness freely given, and countless ordinary acts of love.
Our Blessed Mother did not raise the Child Jesus through extraordinary speeches but through years of hidden faithfulness in the little duties of Nazareth. She reminds every parent that holiness is usually built in ordinary days.
As St. John Bosco beautifully said:
“The education of children is the most noble work that can be entrusted to man.”
Character is not formed in a single lesson but through thousands of small choices made day after day. By building a loving home, teaching virtue, and wisely guarding the influences that shape young hearts, parents prepare their children not only to resist evil, but to become men and women whose lives radiate truth, goodness, and genuine Christian strength.
May God grant us the grace to build homes where virtue is loved, truth is cherished, and every child is gently led toward Heaven.
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Gratitude Journal ~ Available here.
Our attitude changes our life…it’s that simple. Our good attitude greatly affects those that we love, making our homes a more cheerier and peaceful dwelling! To have this control…to be able to turn around our attitude is a tremendous thing to think about!This Gratitude Journal is here to help you focus on the good, the beautiful, the praiseworthy. “For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 – Douay Rheims). Yes, we need to be thinking of these things throughout the day!You will be disciplined, the next 30 days, to write positive, thankful thoughts down in this journal. You will be thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people you are grateful for, lovely and thought-provoking Catholic quotes, thoughts before bedtime, etc. Saying it, reading it, writing it, all helps to ingrain thankfulness into our hearts…and Our Lord so loves gratefulness! It makes us happier, too!
Introduction to the Devout Life, St. Francis de Sales ~ Available here.
As no sensible person would make a long road trip without first consulting a map, so the person intent upon gaining Heaven should first resort to a competent guide to reach that Goal of all goals. And no better guide to Heaven exists than An Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622), Doctor of the Church. It is at once easy to read, being laid out in short chapters, yet thorough, authoritative, reliable, kind and gentle a mirror of its author. It is a book, moreover, for all, because all are called to the devout life. True devotion to God, the author points out, adorns every vocation. The devout life, moreover, is a lovely, a pleasant, and a happy life.
Finding God’s Will for You, St. Francis de Sales ~ Available here.
If your life seems to make no sense, or if you don’t know which path to take, St. Francis de Sales will console and inform you. In this warm little book, he explains to you what God’s will is and how He reveals it yes, even to you, and even in the seemingly random events of your life.
No matter what you’re going through now (or may have gone through), you’ll see why you should love and trust in God’s will and long for its fulfillment. Best of all, you’ll learn a sure method for discovering God’s will in any situation today!
As you begin to discern God’s loving hand even in seemingly chaotic events, St. Francis de Sales will lead your mind and your heart to the still waters of God’s gentle consolation.
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Wonderful article 😃.
Well written, it points out what needs to be done, a little on how(would like more in that area 😉) and encouragement to keep going! 😇