Matrimony
The Dispositions for receiving the Sacraments – Duties and obligations of married people.
What is Matrimony?
Matrimony is a Sacrament which gives grace to those who contract Marriage with due dispositions to enable them to bear the difficulties of their state, to love and be faithful to one another, and to bring up their children in the fear of God.
DISPOSITIONS AND PREPARATION NECESSARY FOR RECEIVING THIS SACRAMENT WORTHILY
1.You should endeavor to procure the favor and direction of Heaven, by fervent prayer, by being attentive to all the duties of a good Catholic, and by avoiding sin.
A good wife is a good portion: she shall be given to a man for his good deeds (Eccl. xxvi, 3).
Nothing is of greater importance in entering into the married state than to obtain the divine blessing; and yet nothing is sometimes less attended to!
2. They who are about to get married should consult their parents and not allow themselves to be hurried away by passion.
My son, do nothing without counsel, and thou shalt not repent when thou hast done (Eccli. xxxii, 24)
They should have a right intention such as God had in the institution of Marriage: namely, to be a mutual help to each other; to have children who may serve God; and to prevent incontinence. Their intention, then, should not be to gratify ambition, or avarice, or carnal desires.
3. They should be careful to choose a proper person. This is of very great importance; yet, to be of a high family, rich and beautiful, seem oftentimes to be made the chief considerations by many of those who marry. These may be very well as secondary, but should not be the chief determining motives.
The choice should fall on one of the true Faith and a good Christian: your own peace and happiness, your salvation and that of your children depend greatly upon it.
Family, riches and beauty, are but poor helpers to happiness, if the temper be bad, the humor extravagant, or the passion violent.
Happy is the husband of a good wife, for the number of his years shall be doubled. (Eccli. xxvi, 1).
What is the more immediate Preparation?
- To be instructed in the nature of this Sacrament, and in the conditions necessary for receiving it; also in the duties and obligations of married life-and to resolve to comply with them.
- To be in the state of grace: otherwise the marriage would be sacrilegious; and would tend to draw down the curse of God, instead of His blessing.
- To receive the Sacrament of Penance, if in the state of sin.
Duties and Obligations Of the Married State
The duties of married people are most serious and important, because their own and their children’s happiness, both here and hereafter, depend very much upon them. For the fulfilling of these duties special graces are necessary; and Faith teaches the graces this Sacrament gives them.
What, then, are the Duties and Obligations of the Married State?
1. The husband and wife must have a mutual love for each other.
Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the Church . . . So also ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself’ (Ephes. V, 25, 28).
Without this there will be no happiness. The only limitation in this mutual love is -husband and wife must love God more than they love each other.
2. They must give each other good example and pray for one another, and preserve inviolably the sanctity of marriage (cf. Heb. xiii, 4).
Infidelity is a most grievous crime, being: 1st, the violation of a sacramental contract; 2nd, the breach of a vow made before God and the Church; 3rd, a great injustice to the innocent party.
If it should be discovered (or suspected, which is often the case), it then sows the seeds of perpetual discord.
3. The husband should exercise his authority with prudence, meekness and charity.
The husband is head of the wife, as Christ is head of the Church (Ephes. v, 23).
Therefore, as Christ is solicitous for the good of His Church, so the husband should be solicitous for his wife.
4. The wife should behave towards her husband with due respect, obedience and submission.
Let women be subject to their husbands, as to the Lord . . . As the Church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their husbands in all things (Ephes. v, 22, 34)
If both parties would observe these duties, how happily they would live together!
5. There is another very important duty of married people, namely, to bring up their children religiously. They must instruct their children; instill into them religious habits; see to their prayers, confessions and Holy Communions; watch over them; keep them from bad companions and from the occasions of sin; set them good example; and pray for them. These duties towards children lay parents under a heavy responsibility, and yet how often they are neglected!
These are the duties and obligations of the married state. They are important and difficult, and cannot be fulfilled religiously, without particular graces. These graces the Sacrament of Matrimony gives to such as receive it with proper dispositions.
How important, then, it is to make a good preparation for it, how great the advantages of receiving it with proper dispositions, and how careful husband and wife should be afterwards not to lose, by sin, those special graces which it gives to those who receive it worthily!
Nihil Obstat:
CAROLUS DOYLE, S.J., Censor Theol;. Deput.
Imprimi Potest:
@ EDUARDUS, Archiep. Dublinen., Hiberniae Primas.
Dublini, die 18 Julii, 1934. ********
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