by Father Lawrence Lovasik, The Catholic Family Handbook
Good manners are the expression of controlled strength. A person who is kind to others and respectful of their feelings has learned the magnificent art of directing his strength and controlling merely animal tendencies.
Early in their life make your children aware of the enormous value – here and now, and just from the standpoint of temporal advantages – of practicing good manners.
In good manners lies the true art of winning friends and influencing people. Lifelong good manners mean real popularity, with the later success in life that comes from popularity. Social and financial success is enormously facilitated for the person who knows the right thing to do and does it.
Good manners are important, because they give us confidence, and confidence is necessary for success. Point out to your children by example and out of their own growing experience how welcome the well-mannered person is in any circle.
Let them know how much you enjoy visits by children who are well behaved, who have a decent regard for other people’s rights, who ask permission before they touch things, who thank people after they have played with their things, and who willingly share with them their own things.
Impress your children with the fact that good manners are not sissy, but, rather, that they indicate a strong character and kind personality if motives are truly Christlike and sincere.
Bad manners are not a sign of cleverness, but the clearest indication of selfishness. A bad-mannered person may betray a real stupidity that holds that the rest of the world is unworthy of his effort to win and retain anyone’s friendship.
Show your children how bad manners mark uncontrolled greed, selfishness, and even ignorance of the most fundamental human likes and dislikes, a sign of the most ungracious disregard for others prompted by utter egotism.
Teach good manners at home
Good manners spring from the deep love cultivated by parents in their home. Only there can a child be equipped with the foundations of good manners – a respect for the rights of others.
The display of good manners between parents themselves is the first real lesson given to children. It is hard to don a new set of manners when you attend a dinner party or go on a date.
Proper manners practiced over and over, day after day, become a part of you. They make you more thoughtful and more appreciative. They cost little – and mean much!
The home, often the place for letting off steam, criticism, and bad manners, should be the training school for learning to live properly and happily.
But you, father and mother, are the teachers of good manners. Your children are great imitators and usually reflect the background of their parents. Children learn fundamental good manners from the way you speak to each other. If your speech is affectionate, if you address each other gently, no child can escape the influence of that example.
There should be no jibes and no insults between you. When you want something done, ask for it politely. Let there be no loud commands, orders without “please,” or favors accepted without “thank you.”
In speaking to each other, never use unpleasant or objectionable – much less insulting – names, even in jest, such as “the old lady,” “my boss,” “the wife,” or “the old man.”
Politeness is something spouses owe each other, and it profoundly affects the manners of their children.
A civilized husband gives his wife the same polite consideration that any gentleman is expected to give to a refined woman. Your children should find in you the manners that marked your courtship and honeymoon.
Their attitude toward their mother and ultimately toward all other women will be largely influenced by their father’s blend of love and politeness.
These good manners are to be displayed in parallel ways by the mother. She treats her husband with the same politeness that she shows to other men. She is a lady measuring up to his stature as a gentleman. Through her example, the good manners of her children will inevitably be ensured.
Your children will be attracted by the charm of good manners as they see you walk these gracious ways. If your manners are bad and your training of your children’s manners is slovenly or nonexistent, your children will almost certainly be rude and will betray “bad breeding.”
On the other hand, if your children have good manners, it is a public demonstration that they have come from a home full of love and respect, a home of charm and culture, where the parents were aware of the decencies of civilized living and passed on to their offspring a knowledge of the proper things to do and the proper way to deal with people.
You can never afford to stop insisting on courtesy within your home. Good manners in the home are far more important than are good manners outside the home. Without the solid foundation laid there, on-parade manners are so much cheap varnish.
Kindness based on love and respect is the fairest adornment of your home. Keep love in your home, and God will be there, as the beloved apostle says, “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”
So much we owe to motherhood. What a grand privilege, then, accrues to every woman who becomes and is a mother after God’s own heart! -Rev. Fulgence Meyer, Plain Talks on Marriage, 1927
“I am absolutely in awe with the beauty of this rosary. Aiding to the beauty is the true craftsmanship that is evident throughout. Having chosen this purchase to replace my rosary that was in need of constant repair, I am very satisfied with the structural integrity of this one”
“This is my fifth or sixth rosary I’ve purchased from Meadows of Grace. Every single one is so beautiful that it takes my breath away. Absolutely exquisite work! I also love how sturdy they are made…I’ve purchased other ones from Etsy previously that break constantly. I’ve never had that issue with a rosary from this store. Highly recommend!”
“Another custom rosary for me and exactly what I wanted! Leane’s work is impeccable quality and the finished rosary is beautiful!”
Beautiful Blessed Mother Wire Wrapped Rosaries! Lovely, Durable. Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality. Available here.
Do you want to get closer to Jesus? To align your thoughts, will, and actions with Him?
There is no better way to Christ than through His Mother. That’s why St. Louis de Montfort’s Traditional Method of Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary is the time-honored, saint-tested way to grow to closer to Our Lord.
This is the traditional method devised by St. Louis de Montfort himself. And now, we’ve made it available in a single, deluxe vinyl volume, perfect for preparation for the Total Consecration and for yearly renewal.
Inside you will…
- Gain a deeper understanding of what it means to Consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary
- Begin to realize the profound joy and peace that comes with giving your will over to Jesus through His Mother
- Discover the deep connection between Mary and Her Son, and how that bond can improve our own spiritual life and intercessory prayer
- Have access to all the tools, prayers, and Scripture needed to consecrate your household to Jesus through Mary
Beautiful and durable, you’ll come back the wisdom of Saint Louis de Montfort again and again as you live out your consecration. This classic and revered devotional is an essential for every Catholic home.
Though nothing historical is known of her, she was declared a Saint in 1837, only 35 years after discovery of her relics. Here is the whole incredible story, plus many accounts of her tremendous favors and miracles. Another St. Jude to call on in our desperate needs.