Tidbits from Plain Talks on Marriage ~ The Jealous Wife, The Lion and the Dragon, They Expect Too Much, The Foe of the Home

Painting by William Andrew Loomis

I share this not to be hard on women. After all, I am one. And this same book has admonitions for the men, but this blog is not for men. (Sometimes I wish I could share things on here for men as I know many who follow this site.)

I also feel that those good women who are willing to spend time reading and following this site, may not need this info. And yet, aren’t there traces of Eve in each of us? And even if it is a trace, it needs to be nipped in the bud.

So, this information is valuable.

Disclaimer

From Plain Talks on Marriage by Rev. Fulgence Meyer, 1927

The Jealous Wife

There are other women who are perfectly and scrupulously loyal to their husbands, but who mar the easy and sweet tenor of married life by their abnormal suspiciousness and jealousy.

Such a woman seems to take it for granted from the beginning of their marriage that her husband needs to be closely watched and carefully hedged about so as not to stray or deviate in his love.

She lets him feel and know that she is not sure of him, and that it would not overly surprise, though it would terribly hurt her, if he struck out into forbidden byways of sexual adventures.

She questions him at every turn, and demands a strict account of his every move, to render herself secure as to his marital constancy. She is quick in suspecting something wrong without any objective warrant, and she is just as hasty in accusing her husband openly and brutally of disloyalty, when not even the thought, desire, or hint of it ever entered his mind.

It will be her fault and responsibility if in this case the innocent, ill-judged and falsely accused husband chafes and frets and revolts, and finally seeks redress by actuating the saying: “If I have the name, I may as well have the game.”

The Lion and Dragon

In addition to being jealous and suspicious such a woman is usually given strongly to nagging. She likes to find fault with her husband, pick flaws in his conduct and manners, and criticize him for doing this and neglecting that.

She derives pleasure from humiliating him, not only in private but also in public. Nor is she satisfied in blaming and vilifying him once or again for the same offense, but she repeats and rehashes it so often and so long as to render herself thoroughly obnoxious and extremely unsufferable.

Of her the Bible says: “A wrangling wife is like a roof continually dropping through” (Prov. 19:13).

“It is better to sit in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman, and in a common house” (Prov. 21:9).

“There is no anger above the anger of a woman. It will be more agreeable to abide with a lion and a dragon, than to dwell with a wicked woman” (Sir. 25:23).

And if she kept her suspicions and complaints to herself, she might in the end be tolerable. Instead, eager to pose as a martyr, she retails them not only to her mother and other relatives but publishes them to the whole neighborhood to the poignant humiliation and disgrace of her husband.

They Expect Too Much

Moreover a jealous or suspicious woman has a morbid and inordinate craving for marks of affection and signs of endearment from her mate. She wants far more attention, consideration and coddling than a normal man, burdened with ordinary home and business interests, is capable of rendering.

If he were to be as tireless in thinking of new ways and methods of pleasing, cajoling and surprising her with various demonstrations of love and adoration as she desires him to be, he would not only wear himself out, but also be unable to discharge other and more important duties.

Yet if he does not meet her expectations, she charges him with being cold, indifferent, and disloyal.

Even otherwise good and sensible women are perhaps by their very sex, inclined to be rather exorbitant in their demands for, or expectations of love, affection, and recognition from their husbands.

While they insist that the husbands should sympathetically understand and meet their needs and propensities, they fail to make a proportionate allowance for the nature and temperament of their husbands. If they did, they would comprehend that a man is often engrossed with serious business or other interests, and can therefore not occupy himself for the time being with the little amorous amenities and gallant pastimes of conjugal life.

After all, between the two, a good provider, though he be less of a gallant, is preferable to a charming gallant, who is a poor provider, as a husband.

The Foe of the Home

Mention must be made, too, of the idle, gallivanting, and frivolous wife, who seems to consider marriage as a title to empty enjoyment and carefree amusement.

At home she feels ill at ease, and she is only happy when she has a date for a women’s night out, a coffee, a movie or something similar. Her own house bores and tires her and makes her nervous. Consequently it gets the least of her attention and care.

It is untidy, uninviting, and uncomfortable. It is a sorry place for her husband to come to after his day’s work, and a sadder place for him to live in when she constrains herself to keep him company.

The meals are everything they should not be in the way of selection and preparation and service. The children, if there are any, are poorly cared for, they are unkempt and unclean, shabbily dressed, ill-trained and ill-mannered.

His home being the very opposite to what it ought to be, no wonder if the husband loathes it, and is eager to get away and stay away from it; and if he grows cold to and conceives a dislike for her who turns into a place of pain and agony, what to him should be nothing but a harbor of pleasure and repose.

To keep her home in order, to rear her children properly, to prepare good and tasty meals constitute a job so big that it requires practically all of a woman’s time and attention to affect it squarely and satisfactorily.

And if she so meets it, the very discharge of this arduous but sublime office as wife, mother, and homemaker will also represent the source of her most solid earthly happiness and her sweetest personal joys.

These will be far superior to any thrill she could procure by always meandering about with other women to bars, theatres, shopping, and indulging in other parties at the expense of her sacred duties and solemn obligations.

Everyone, also every married woman, needs a certain amount of rest, recreation and diversion for her comfort and happiness; but excess in play is as bad or worse than excess in work.

When your husband knows he is married to his most trusted confidant, your influence soars. -Matthew L. Jacobson

Running a house, while schooling, making meals, etc. is no little task. So…we roll up our sleeves and dig in each day. THIS is what we are called to. Let us not get distracted thinking we should be doing great things, learning about great matters of the world. NO. St. Therese calls us the do the “little things” each day. And really, it is a great thing to accomplish all the “so-called” little tasks….

Make a statement with this lovely and graceful “Blessed Mother” handcrafted apron….fully lined….made with care. Aprons tell a beautiful story…..a story of love and sacrifice….of baking bread and mopping floors, of planting seeds and household chores. Sadly, many women have tossed the aprons aside and donned their business attire. Wear your apron with joy….it is a symbol of Femininity….”Finer” Femininity! 🌺 💗

Available here.

A must-read for the married and those considering marriage! This guidebook to finding a happy marriage, keeping a happy marriage, and raising happy children has been out of print for over 50 years…until now! From the master of the spiritual life, Raoul Plus, S.J., it contains loads of practical and spiritual advice on family life. Have you been looking for a handbook on marriage and raising children that is based on truth? You’ve found it!

The saints assure us that simplicity is the virtue most likely to draw us closer to God and make us more like Him.

No wonder Jesus praised the little children and the pure of heart! In them, He recognized the goodness that arises from an untroubled simplicity of life, a simplicity which in the saints is completely focused on its true center, God.

That’s easy to know, simple to say, but hard to achieve.

For our lives are complicated and our personalities too. (We even make our prayers and devotions more complicated than they need be!)

In these pages, Fr. Raoul Plus provides a remedy for the even the most tangled lives.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.