Never stop doing the things that will sustain and revive your marriage!
I am grateful to Lisa Jacobson for giving me permission to share her thoughts. She has a valuable message. Marriage is work, but it is one of the greatest works we women engage in. How healthy our marriage is will reflect in our children. The more positivity and forgiveness we can bring to the table, the better it is for our family in general!
100 Ways To Love Your Husband by Lisa Jacobson
1.Make his dreams… your dreams. Treasure them like your own. Ask him about what he hopes to do some day and let him know that you believe in his dreams… and him. Plan out together the steps you can take to make those dreams come true.
2. Be extravagant in your love. Go big. Pour out your heart generously.
3. Feeling edgy? Snappish? Droopy? It tends to come with the territory – just avoid taking it out on him. It’s not really his fault, after all. Speak his love language – what says love to him. And speak it often!
4. Ask him the kinds of things that make him feel loved by you. He might have an answer ready and he might not. If not, then ask if he’ll think about it.
Also, you can study him and watch for those things that seem to fill him up and make sure you’re saying it to him. Don’t make accusations. Ask questions.
5. Intertwine your lives wherever possible. Run errands, go for walks, curl up on the couch. Just seek to be together. Don’t wait for “date night” to find things you share in common.
A good friend recently confessed something to me. She struggled with jealousy….of me.
Really… jealous of me? How could that be? We’ve been friends for many years and she knows I’ve had my share of grief and trials. Nothing overly amazing in my life.
What was there to be jealous of? Then she came out with it: she was envious of the kind of husband I had. She wished hers was more like mine. ????
I could only stare at her. I sure didn’t get it. So she clarified. She couldn’t help but notice how much time my husband and I spent with one another.
The two of us are often found together – working in the yard, out on a walk, over at the cafe, or maybe standing in line at Costco. But always together.
It wasn’t like that with her husband. The two of them lived functional, but basically separate lives.
And she wished they had what we had. If only they were as closely connected as we were. If only her husband was like mine.
Now it was my turn to confide. All that time we spend together? It’s not only him. It’s me. Yes, it’s true. I’m nearly shameless when it comes to orchestrating time together. Any excuse will do. I’ll do whatever I can – to get close to him.
It can be up to me to make the move.
If I smell coffee brewing in the morning? (That man wakes up waaaay to early, if you ask me). I’ll drag myself out of my comfy covers to have a cup with him before he dives into his work.
If he’s off to run errands, I’ll run out to the truck and ask if I can come along. He gives me a grin and tells me to hop on in. Who cares if he’s only going to the farm supply store? It’s a Chicken-Feed Date and I’ll take it.
If he’s working in the garden, I’ll join him out in the green bean patch. We both weed. I talk the entire time. And he listens (I think).
And if it’s the end of the night and he announces that he’s heading to bed? Well, I’ll give him a wink and tell him to wait up, ’cause I’m coming too.
6. Forgive. “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” ~ Ruth Bell Graham. This is one of the truest statements ever made. Decide you’re not only going to be his lover – you’re going to be his forgiver. Be quick to forgive and get good at it. You’ll probably have lots of opportunity to practice it.
7. Then forget. Once it’s been forgiven, put it behind you and never pick it back up again. Here’s the hard part: letting it go. Resist the temptation to grab it back and maybe even throw it at him when it happens again. I’m sorry, but this doesn’t count as true forgiveness. Forgive as God has forgiven you—as far as the east is from the west (Ps. 103: 12).
8. Cling to each other in the hard times. Don’t let trials pull you apart, but be sure they bring you closer together instead. This decision is best made before the trial comes.
When our daughter was born with severe brain damage, the hospital warned us that most marriages don’t make it through a tragic situation like ours. That thought terrified me. So we looked at each other and decided – right then and there – we were going to stick through it together.
Start each day with a smile and a kiss. What better way to begin? Set the tone for the day with a simple gesture of love for each other.
“The woman who can pass over his human frailties and discover things to genuinely admire, things which others fail to notice or appreciate, is a woman to be treasured. It is such a woman who wins his deepest and most tender affection. As she gives him admiration, he returns love.” – Helen Andelin
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I think on the dreams ya have to be careful. I have seen a man’s “dream” pull the wife out of the home to be his assistant so his “dream” could blossom. Sure he made it, but everyone suffered for it, and the Faith deteriorated. Some dreams are not worth it. They were better off when they were poorer.
Good point…
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THIS!!
And, so glad to know I’m not weird that I grab ANY chance to be alone, even going to the dump together! Haha! 16 yrs this month and I still steal any excuse to be together. Kinda thought I was odd! 🙂
Thank you!! And, love the quote at the end, “once forgiven don’t reheat his sins for breakfast!”, I think I should needlepoint that! Lol!