Give Your Loved Ones the Gift of Courtesy this Christmas / Update on Vin & Gin’s Fire

As we navigate the horrendous house fire of our eldest daughter’s (Gin) family, who is expecting their eleventh child, we realize how precious are those with whom we call “family”. Vin and Gin have lost everything…and it hurts, especially before Christmas. But they know deep in their hearts that they have been left with the most precious gift God gives to us…our family.

This excerpt gives us an opportunity to meditate on something that should never grow old…that old-fashioned virtue, Courtesy. 

(A Bit of an Update on the Fire Below….)

by J.R. Miller

A secret of happiness in married life is courtesy. By what law of nature or of life is it, that after the peals of the wedding bells have died away, and they have established themselves in their own home, so many husbands and wives drop the charming little amenities and refinements of manner toward each other, that so invariably and delightfully characterized their interaction before marriage?

Is there no necessity for these civilities any longer ? Are they so sure now of each other’s love, that they do not need to give expression to it, either in affectionate word or act? Is wedded love such a strong, vigorous and self-sufficing plant that it never needs sunshine, rain or dew?

Is politeness merely a manner that is necessary in interaction with the outside world, and not required when we are alone with those we love the best? Are home hearts so peculiarly constituted, that they are not pained or offended by things that would never be pardoned in us, if done in ordinary society?

Are we under no obligations to be respectful and to pay homage to our dearest friends— while even to the rudest clown, or the greatest stranger, which we meet outside our own doors— we feel ourselves bound to show the most perfect civility?

On the contrary, there is no place in the world where the amenities of courtesy should be so carefully maintained, as in the home. There are no hearts which hunger so, for expressions of affection, as the hearts of which we are most sure. There is no love which so needs its daily bread—as the love that is strongest and holiest.

There is no place where rudeness or incivility is so unpardonable, as inside our own doors and toward our best beloved! The tenderer the love and the truer— the more it craves the thousand little attentions and kindnesses which so satisfy the heart!

It is not costly presents at Christmas and on birthdays and anniversaries, that are needed ; these are only mockeries— if the days between are empty of affectionate expressions.

Jewelry and silks will never atone for the lack of warmth and tenderness. Between husband and wife there should be maintained , without break or pause— the most perfect courtesy, the gentlest attention, the most unselfish amiability, the utmost affectionateness!

Coleridge says, “The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions, the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss or a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling .”

These may seem trifles, and the omission of them may be deemed unworthy of thought; but they are the daily bread of love, and hearts go hungry when they are omitted.

It may be only carelessness at first in a busy husband or a weary wife— which fails in these small, sweet courtesies, and it may seem a little matter— but in the end the result may be a growing far apart of two lives which might have been forever very happy in each other— had their early love but been cherished and nourished.

“Do the things you don’t want to do. Do them cheerfully and well. E.Schaeffer wrote, ‘Somebody has to get up early, stay up late, do more than the others, if the human garden is to be a thing of beauty.’ At first glance it doesn’t seem fair, but there are hidden and precious rewards for dying to self and serving. Stomping and self-pity cancel the reward points.” 😊 -Charlotte Siems

Update on Fire

Within the last couple of months, my husband and Vin’s boys worked hard on putting up this rock wall for Vin and Gin’s home. It was always a dream of Gin’s to have rock on the front of their home. It’s backbreaking work and hubby came home sore and tired. He’s not quite as young as he used to be!

As we watched everything burn, the stalwart wall stood. Gin has had her cry about this one… the hours her dad put into it. 

The kids are fine. Kids are resilient. Mom and Dad need sleep and are slowly trying to wrap their heads around starting over.

The donations and kindness have been phenomenal. There is a lot of love in this community, that is for sure. And it is shining through this dark spell… Thank you!

The family is now situated in a home that is small but cozy that was so generously offered by friends. One thing the home especially has going for it….It has a Bernina sewing machine that Gin can start sewing on! Great news!

Please keep them in your prayers….it is much appreciated and is what sustains them.

Donations can be given here.

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Inspire Your Children!
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