A Young Director Shares How She Embraces Femininity

by Mary Beth Bowen

Mary Beth Bowen is a movie director and entrepreneur. Since 2018, she has distributed four movies through her online platform at Industrious Family Films where she also contributes to the #ReclaimChristianArtBlog. Her 5th film is currently in pre-production.

A Young Director Shares How She Embraces Femininity

The last pair of everyday jeans that I owned were thrown away when I was 9. My mom bought me several Land’s End play dresses. I remember very particularly a white dress with large pink, green and yellow flowers. It was made out of a knit t-shirt material. I did not know that they made “play” dresses. Before this I would only wear dresses to church. Dresses were “churchy”.

Everyone that I knew asked me why I wore dresses and skirts. Back then I did not have a good answer except that my mom and dad wanted me to wear them. If they wanted it, I did it. There was no rebellion in me during this time and I largely attribute that to the fact that my own mother, at this time in her late 20s, also wore skirts and dresses with me and my sister.

I wish people would ask me now why I wear skirts all the time. I would have a much more sophisticated answer. I would say something like, “Oh, did you know that there is a war on gender? I am making a statement that I know exactly what I am by wearing clothing that a woman would wear.”

Of course, there are other reasons, modesty and the veiling of the sacred, but I think that the first comment could not be argued with.

When we moved out to the countryside and started a hobby farm, I bought a second-hand pair of loose overalls to milk the cow in. Later, I made a long tunic to wear over a pair of pants to do chores in.

Then I kept an old jean skirt that was too embarrassing to wear in public anymore and called it my junk skirt. This skirt was only worn for chores in the morning and evening, gardening, painting and all other “dirty jobs”. I have not found a project that I am embroiled in where pants are essential and the skirt does not cut it.

Now we come to my 17th year and I get my first real job. I got this job to raise money to pursue my real career, movie-making. I went to my interview in a long black skirt, a white blouse and a 20’s style necktie. I felt weird at first because it was the first time that I wore a necktie and I always feel self-conscious and extremely 5’3” in a long skirt.

I was hardly interviewed and got the job out of desperation on the side of the manager. I started very quickly, maybe the next week.

My fellow bookkeeper was a plump lady in her late 30’s whose favorite topic was her birth control schedule. She had magenta hair and wore very faded, bling jeans. Sometimes flip flops. She wore a black t-shirt with a company logo and her name embroidered on the other side.

And I?…I looked like an airline stewardess. I wore a white blouse (which I had ironed that very morning), a navy-blue pencil skirt, a navy-blue blazer and pumps. I was probably her worst nightmare.

When off the job I wore similar outfits. I had a grey Old Navy blazer for movie shoots, nice jean skirts and always cute shoes. Sometimes jewelry.

I one time had to go back to the office on my day off to get schoolwork which I had left there. The guys were surprised that I looked as classy and put together as if I were working. “Do you always look like that?” Yes. I do.

Here I realized that my poise and demeanor demanded respect in the office. I was like an empress for whom doors were opened and heavy loads received. I remember walking into the office to several of the guys visiting and one saying, “Shh, here comes Mary.” It was obviously indecent language.

I never took breaks with the guys. I took my breaks in the manager’s office and promptly freshened my lipstick afterwards. On my lunch breaks I read Jennifer L. Scott’s Madame Chic books. Here I learned poise, decorum and lady-like manners.

These books document what the author learned from her very classy host while she was staying in Paris. Upon returning home, Jennifer Scott found herself asking, “What would Madame Chic do?” Here are a few things that I have picked up from reading these books:

• You don’t need pants – Madame Chic never wore a pair in her life. Instead, she wore an apron.

• Put make up on every day – You never know when you will run to town or get a picture taken. And besides, it looks like you are really ready for the day.

• Let men treat you like a lady – There’s this saying that men want to be appreciated for being strong and women want to be appreciated as a beautiful companion. Let men open the door for you. Let men carry things for you—even if you can do it. Let men compliment your cooking.

• If you wear sandals, paint your toe nails – Honey, they need it.

• If someone compliments you, just say “thank you.” – Don’t go into details on where you purchased the outfit or how much you like the color.

• Implement the 10 piece wardrobe – You don’t need a million outfits, just a handful that can be mixed and matched.

• Find your true style – There is such a thing as a modest hippie.

Dressing with Dignity is another wonderful book on being a stylish true lady. One of my favorite sayings of Colleen Hammond’s is “My bust is not a billboard.” It’s true…why would you wear a message across your bust? How awkward.

The young adults in our family occasionally go to swing dance lessons. Here I don’t understand. My sister and I are the only ones who do not wear sexy boot-cut pants. TO A DANCE! Who doesn’t wear a skirt or a dress to a dance? Sometimes my sister and I are clamored for because we look like authentic partners. The other ladies are missing out.

Womanhood and manhood go hand-in-hand. One demands respect from the latter and the other satisfies its desire to care for something more helpless than itself. Something has happened to our society where this unity is disjointed.
Anthony Esolen, who in his book, No Apologies, hits the nail on the head in regards to this topic, “Neither men nor women any longer know what they are to be for one another; so that the attractions between the sexes are reduced to the bare minimum…We have forgotten what men and women are and why they are.”

Men don’t innocently notice women in public because they look like a confused female. I remember when I was doing a bank deposit and got whistled at. At first, I was embarrassed but after several days I realized that I was probably the only real looking woman that he had seen that day.

Buff women in yoga pants panting as they load their cars with groceries are denying themselves something that their ancestors considered a joyful privilege. Alice von Hildebrand simply called it “the privilege of being a woman”.

So go ahead…take the plunge. Find your true style and wear it. Embrace your femininity. Dress like a woman, talk like a woman, act like a woman, walk like a woman.

You can follow Jennifer, the author of Madame Chic at the Daily Connoisseur here.

“Boys and girls must be taught as tiny tots to love modesty. Even though they are too young to sin, they can and ought to be impressed with the beauty of modesty. Training in modesty is pre-eminently the function of the home, to be begun from earliest childhood.” -Archbishop Meyer of Milwaukee

We must realize that building back to traditional values starts, first, in ourselves and in our homes. Which, in turn, will affect our communities and society in general. And our dress is a powerful means to do just that! It IS like a billboard saying, “There is still something beautiful, noble and good in this world, and it is worth living for.”

PENAL ROSARIES!

Penal rosaries and crucifixes have a wonderful story behind them. They were used during the times when religious objects were forbidden and it was illegal to be Catholic. Being caught with a rosary could mean imprisonment or worse. A penal rosary is a single decade with the crucifix on one end and, oftentimes, a ring on the other. When praying the penal rosary you would start with the ring on your thumb and the beads and crucifix of the rosary in your sleeve, as you moved on to the next decade you moved the ring to your next finger and so on and so forth. This allowed people to pray the rosary without the fear of being detected. Available here.

In this ground-breaking book, Colleen Hammond challenges today’s fashions and provides you the information you need to protect yourself and your loved ones from the onslaught of tasteless, immodest clothing. Colleen Hammond shares real-life examples of how women can accentuate the grace and beauty of their femininity, and she shows that modest definitely does not mean frumpy !! DRESSING WITH DIGNITY covers it all . . . The history and forces behind the changes in fashion. How to talk to teenagers about the privilege of femininity so they will want to dress with dignity. How to awaken chivalry in men and be treated with respect. How to regain and teach the lost charm of interior and exterior femininity! How to dress in an attractive, dignified, classy manner! Specific documents about manners of dress from the Magisterium, the Popes and the Saints. Comprehensive guidelines for choosing tasteful attire. Resources on where to find beautiful, modest clothing. And much, much more! Available here.

This booklet contains practical advice on the subjects of dating and choosing a spouse from the Catholic theological viewpoint. Father Lovasik points out clearly what one’s moral obligations are in this area, providing an invaluable aid to youthful readers. Additionally, he demonstrates that Catholic marriage is different from secular marriage and why it is important to choose a partner who is of the Catholic Faith if one would insure his or her personal happiness in marriage. With the rampant dangers to impurity today, with the lax moral standards of a large segment of our society, with divorce at epidemic levels, Clean Love in Courtship will be a welcome source of light and guidance to Catholics serious about their faith. Available here.

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