from Kindness, The Bloom of Charity, Father Lasance
BENIGNITY
As regards benignity, let us borrow sentences from the saints and teachers of the spiritual life: “In looking at our neighbor, strive to see in him as much as possible only what is good and well. Our Lord, in return, will wish to see only what is good and well in you.”
“Above everything, be kind; kindness is the quality most like to God and which men appreciate the most.” –Pere Lacordaire.
“Yes, be kind, always kind, kind to everyone, kind in spite of all–it is the divine way of our apostleship, the secret of our Christian influence on our brethren, the almost infallible bait for attracting them to a virtuous life, to win them to God.” –Monsignor Gay.
“Kindness has converted more sinners than zeal, eloquence or teaching have done; these three things would not have converted one soul unless kindness had had something to do with it.” –Father Faber.
“A Superior should be a mother rather than a master, and should make himself loved rather than feared. Non magister, sed magis mater.” –St. Bernard.
“If a brother offend thee and will not ask thee to forgive him, go thou and ask his pardon.” –St. Francis of Assisi.
A young monk, jealous of St. Anselm’s being elected Superior, showed openly his dislike to the Saint on ever occasion. St. Anselm, on the contrary, took every opportunity of showing kindness, affection and gentleness to this poor Brother, and thus brought him gradually to repentance, to the love of Jesus Christ, and made him into a model and a saint.
“Do everything gently, nothing roughly. Harshness embitters the heart and breeds hate … whilst kindness handles man’s heart as it wills. If we have to fall into any excess, let it be that of kindness.”–St Francis of Sales.
Benignity is a great token of sanctity, one of the manifest signs of the presence of the Holy Ghost, who, as the Holy Scriptures say, is a Spirit of suavity, humanity and benignity; and men generally take the measure of a man’s holiness by his benignity; benignity attracts, disarms, wins and governs men.
Faith teaches us that our true resting place,
Where we shall bliss enjoy, is heaven above.
Hope teaches us, in whispered words of love,
That God will never fail us with His grace.
But I would fain know more; how can I trace
A pathway through the wilderness, or say
Whether the road I traverse is the way
Which leads to where I shall behold His face?
Comes Charity her message to impart,
And points me out the way which I must take:
“Love thou the Lord thy God with all thine heart;
And love thy fellow-beings for His sake.
In these twin precepts summed up thou shalt find
All that the law and prophets taught mankind.”
–Allan Ross: A Priest’s Prayer and Other Poems.
Before all things, have a constant mutual charity among yourselves: for charity covereth a multitude of sins. –1 Pet. iv 8.
Bear ye one another’s burdens and so you shall fulfill the law of Christ. –Gal. vi. 2.
Charity is patient, is kind; charity envieth not, dealeth not perversely; is not puffed up; Is not ambitious, seeketh not her own, is not provoked to anger, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth with the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. … And now there remain faith, hope, and charity, these three: but the greatest of these is charity. 1 Cor. xiii. 4-8. 13.
Have we not all one Father? Hath not one God created us? Why then doth everyone of us despise his brother, violating the covenant of our fathers? –Malach. ii. 10.
As regards those faults of our neighbors that irritate us, it will help us to be more cheerful and amiable if we remember our own shortcomings, which they have to endure.
St. Paul admonishes us: “Bear ye one another’s burdens and so you shall fulfill the law of Christ.” (Gal. vi 2.) Do not look for mistakes or faults to censure in others; let us rather look for an excuse for our brethren; let us admire their virtues and imitate them.
Faults are thick where love is thin.
Judge not; the workings of his brain
And of his heart thou canst not see;
What looks to thy dim eyes a stain
In God’s pure light may only be
A scar, brought from some well-won field,
Where thou wouldst only faint and yield. –Adelaide A. Procter.
Everyone of us shall render account to God for himself; let us not, therefore, judge one another any more. –Rom. xiv. 12.
There is a word which cannot be said too often to every Christian whom God has destined to live, converse and labor in the society of his fellow-creatures: Be indulgent. Yes, be indulgent; it is necessary for others, and it is necessary for your own sake.
Forget the little troubles that others may cause you; keep up no resentment for the inconsiderate or unfavorable words that may have been said about you; excuse the mistakes and awkward blunders of which you are the victim; always make out good intentions for those who have done you any wrong by imprudent acts or speeches; in a word, smile at everything, show a pleasant face on all occasions; maintain an inexhaustible fund of goodness, patience, and gentleness.
Thus you will be at peace with all your brethren; your love for them will suffer no alteration, and their love for you will increase day by day. But, above all, you will practice in an excellent manner Christian charity, which is impossible without this toleration and indulgence at every instant.
“Who shall blame a child whose soul turns eagerly to the noise and distraction of worldliness, if his parents have failed to show him that love and peace and beauty are found only in God?” – Mary Reed Newland
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