Our children will be facing a world of decisions and temptations. Let’s make sure we are raising children who can say “no” to themselves. If your home is filled with love, your discipline will have the desired effect.
From Christ in the Home by Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J.
A mother of a family, herself a noble and spiritual educator wrote:
“We never succeed in making of our children all that we should like to make of them; and sometimes we do not accomplish anything of what we thought we could accomplish. The role of educator in theory offers many charms but in its fulfillment how many thorns! Not to become discouraged is in itself quite an achievement.”
The most important virtue to engender in the souls of children is confidence.
Children always have faults; they develop with age; when one fault is destroyed, another appears.
What ought to be developed first is confidence; a confidence which will make them docile solely because of the conviction that there can be nothing better for them than the arrangements of the persons who are training them; but when they seem to torment them or cross them, they truly have their good at heart.
The most agreeable training is not always the most salutary. Far from it! Adversity and contradiction are useful for all ages but particularly for the young, to correct their violent tendencies and strengthen their undeveloped wills. For those who consider everything from God’s viewpoint, adversity gives the final touch; it adorns as with gold one in whom virtue is deeply rooted.
But how can one call upon this harsh instructor to teach one’s very own children?
Mothers are too tender to be perfect educators or rather their tenderness has about it too much sensitivity which, we might say, aggravates the eternal conflict between the spiritual man and the carnal man. Maternal love is often too much hampered by maternal instinct which protests and prevents the forceful action that ought to be taken.
This distinction between real maternal love in the full sense of the word and maternal instinct should be maintained; the author of the preceding lines is alert to the difference and concerned about not confusing them; one of her daughters had a particularly difficult temperament; the mother encouraged herself to exercise the necessary firmness with her just as with her other children:
I shall set myself the duty of not being weak, too easy, of not giving in to all their desires. I shall try to give them the reason for my decisions, but I shall believe that I do them a service by putting some obstacles to their desires. Kindness will dictate my conduct; I hope that kindness will render it bearable for them.
For Daily Life
While we may not be able to shape our children exactly as we envision, we can faithfully attend to the daily work God has placed before us. The formation of a soul is accomplished less through grand moments than through countless small acts of patient guidance repeated day after day.
A few practical principles can help us cultivate the confidence and docility described above:
• Be firm in your decisions, but calm in your manner. Children accept correction more readily when they sense that it proceeds from love rather than irritation.
• Do not feel obligated to grant every request. Learning to accept disappointment is an important part of growing in virtue.
• When appropriate, explain your reasons. A child who understands that rules are given for his good is more likely to trust the one who gives them.
• Resist the temptation to rescue children from every difficulty. Small hardships, responsibilities, and disappointments strengthen character and teach perseverance.
• Correct faults consistently, but do not become discouraged when new faults appear. The appearance of new weaknesses often means the child is growing and entering a new stage of development.
• Make obedience a habit in little things. Cheerful compliance in everyday matters lays the foundation for greater virtues later in life.
• Let kindness accompany firmness. A loving smile, a gentle touch, or an encouraging word can make necessary correction much easier for a child to bear.
• Above all, pray for your children. The true Educator of every soul is God. Our efforts are necessary, but grace accomplishes what human efforts alone never can.
Motherhood requires both tenderness and strength. The challenge is not to choose between them but to unite them. When firmness is guided by love and kindness is governed by wisdom, children learn the most important lesson of all: that those who guide them can be trusted because they genuinely seek their good.
“Who shall blame a child whose soul turns eagerly to the noise and distraction of worldliness, if his parents have failed to show him that love and peace and beauty are found only in God?” – Mary Reed Newland
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Losing your peace of soul over the state of the world and the Church? Don’t! Consider the following books…..
Searching For and Maintaining Peace ~ Available here.
We live in an age characterized by agitation and lack of peace. This tendency manifests itself in our spiritual as well as our secular life. In our search for God and holiness, in our service to our neighbor, a kind of restlessness and anxiety take the place of the confidence and peace which ought to be ours. What must we do to overcome the moments of fear and distress which assail us? How can we learn to place all our confidence in God and abandon ourselves into his loving care? This is what is taught in this simple, yet profound little treatise on peace of heart. Taking concrete examples from our everyday life, the author invites us to respond in a Gospel fashion to the upsetting situations we must all confront. Since peace of heart is a pure gift of God, it is something we should seek, pursue and ask him for without cease. This book is here to help us in that pursuit.
Achieving Peace of Heart ~ Available here.
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