from Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin
The feminine manner involves the movements of a woman’s body, the way she walks, talks, uses her hands, the sound of her voice, her facial expressions, and her laugh. The more distinct the difference between a woman’s mannerisms to a man’s, the more delightful it is to him. His mannerisms are strong, hard and firm, while a feminine woman’s are soft and delicate.
As important as the feminine appearance is, the effect will be a disappointment and even funny if it is not coupled with the feminine manner. If you are dressed in ruffles and frills, with hair and make-up just right, but you move in a hard, stiff manner with a loud voice you will be seen as a walking contradiction. Your manner needs to harmonize with your clothes.
Acquiring a Feminine Manner
When considering the feminine manner, pay attention to the differences between femininity and masculinity. Think of lightness, softness, delicateness and the associated actions that go with these terms.
Apply these principles in the following ways:
Your character shines through your facial features. If you have a soft, gentle character, your face will naturally match. If you have a hard, critical, impatient character you will have a hard time hiding this from the rest of the world. It will show on your face. Spend time working on your character. Practice smiling and having tender attitudes toward people.
Your conversation should reflect gentleness and kindness. You should show tenderness and sympathy when speaking of someone in unfortunate circumstances. If you think an unkind remark, keep it to yourself.
Avoid talking about people in a bad way. Think of something nice to say. Don’t get sucked into heated arguments.
Be quick to show tenderness and love, especially to children. Make kind remarks the rule rather than the exception.
A trait of the truly feminine woman is refinement which implies good social breeding. Traits of good breeding are tactfulness, courteousness, diplomacy, sensitivity, good taste and graciousness. Those lacking in refinement are rude, impolite, inconsiderate, crude, coarse, vulgar and unwholesome.
Avoid these traits of crudeness:
– Never use vulgar, profane, or foul language.
– Never pick your nose, scratch yourself or blow your nose in public.
– Never bring up subjects that are inappropriate.
– Never be rude or callous.
– Never shun or ignore people.
– Never be arrogant.
– Never be cheeky or nervy.
– Never impose on people.
Learn these skills of refinement:
– Dress with skill and taste.
– Apply makeup and style your hair in a becoming manner.
– Display good taste in furnishing and decor for your house.
– Be courteous to everyone you meet regardless of station or standing.
– Show consideration for the feelings and opinions of others.
– Freely give compliments and praise, especially when you know it will be appreciated.
– Take queues from your host and hostess about social behavior at parties.
– Show respect for another’s enthusiasm.
Is Beauty Necessary?
No! There are many beautiful women who fail miserably at femininity. They are arrogant, controlling, stiff, and masculine. They don’t inspire a man with any feelings of wonder. You don’t need to be beautiful to be feminine and charming.
Likewise, many women in the world are not exceptionally beautiful, but they can be successful at being fascinating women. They are soft, sweet, and make a man feel wonderful. Such a woman is beautiful to a man regardless of her physical shortcomings.
There are some women who are puzzling to those who are more beautiful. They are somewhat homely, but attract many men. Men find these feminine women perky, fun, cute, lovable, saucy, sassy, dainty, charming, and other highly fascinating traits. Such a highly feminine woman can cause those more beautiful to pale beside her.
You may feel that the absence of beauty is a stumbling block to your success as a fascinating woman. You must not let this deter you. However, if you are beautiful, don’t think this is all you need to succeed. Beauty really is only skin deep and of little consequence with the highly feminine woman.
“You will never have this day with your children again – tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they are today. Today is a gift, breathe and notice, smile and hold them, study their faces and little feet and pay attention. Enjoy today, Mama- it will be over before you know it. Relish the charms of the present.” – Anne Joachim
Talking about Femininity and looking the part, there are NEW APRONS available at Meadows of Grace!
These fully lined, handcrafted aprons will add a beautiful touch to your Kitchen and Hospitality Wardrobe. Truly lovely!
Blessed Mother “Madonna of Heaven” Apron! Feminine and Beautiful!
Harvest Beauty Apron! Feminine and Beautiful!
Other aprons available at Meadows of Grace Shoppe!
Check out my book, Cheerful Chats for Catholic Children here! 🙂
Reviews (Thank you, Corina!) : “This book is an awesome addition to a nightly routine or any time of day you can add a little devotion. I use this kind of devotional also as a discipline tool as you can recall the stories and remind your children of their errors through the examples of these stories. I am so glad to find another helper in raising our children in the Catholic Faith…”
(Thank you, Hannah!): I just bought this book about a week ago, and I already love it! The stories are well-written, clear, and childlike without being “dumbed-down.” My kids range in age from 10 to 5, and they each really appreciate the stories. I like that there is a good selection of discussion questions, some of which are open-ended, and some of which are review. Perfect item for this busy homeschool mama!
You can get my True Womanhood Finer Femininity Maglet here.
Full of inspiration to keep you smiling!
Feminine behavior really does go a long way ladies. You may not realize it, but we men crave it. You do yourselves a great disservice when you neglect this part of your nature.
Mrs T said:
I need these gentle reminders. It’s easy for me to slip out of femininity with 5 rough and tumble little boys perpetually covered in dirt! Definitely guilty. Thank you.
I agree with Donal, Men do like a woman to exude femininity . Great post Leane, hugs, Terri .
I love dressing in a feminine manner – skirts, dresses, makeup…and I know my Beloved loves it too. Just this last week my Precious Hubby has been in hospital and I was so busy taking care of our home, animals and son that I have mainly been wearing jeans and tops. My Hubby hasn’t minded at all however, I know he prefers me in a more feminine manner of dress. Which reminds me I need to buy black Winter shoes this week so I can wear tights and skirts again. It’s chilly here at the moment, which is wonderful.
Thank you for sharing this it is a lovely reminder.