by Father Raoul Plus, S.J., Christ in the Home
Anna da Noailles, a French poetess, summed up her unhappy married life in the words, “I am alone with someone.”
It is an expressive but sinister remark.
People marry in order to be two, but two in one, not to continue to be alone, alone although with someone.
Opposition of Characters
Generally it does not appear in the first years of married life. Everything is marvelous then, sunshine and moonlight. Though there may be exceptions, they are rare.
But there comes a time when tension creeps in, more or less restrained, then hidden resentment, finally opposition if not with weapons at least by tongue lashings, sullen silences, disagreeable attitudes.
There is in every man, even a married man the stuff of an old bachelor; in every woman, even a married woman, something of . . . well, a person shouldn’t really use that word to speak of unmarried women.
When husbands and wives notice their rising irritability, they should take hold of their hearts with both hands so to speak and refrain from words they will regret soon after.
If they have the courage, let them have an understanding with each other as soon as possible.
They should learn not to notice every little thing; to forget with untiring patience all the little pricks; to remember only the joys they lived through together; to make a bouquet of them, not a faded bouquet like dried out artificial flowers that are kept in a drawer, but alive and fresh, beautiful enough to be put in full view on the mantelpiece.
Everything that is typical of the single life is taboo. They are united. They are to remain united. Two in one. In one: It is not always easy; it is always necessary.
Each morning is the dawn of a new day that God has given us. It is up to us how we receive it. And for a Catholic woman it is a choice that doesn’t just affect ourselves. No, the ripple effects of those first few minutes of the day will affect all the members of the household, each of their walks of life, the people they encounter, etc…
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A must-read for the married and those considering marriage! This guidebook to finding a happy marriage, keeping a happy marriage, and raising happy children has been out of print for over 50 years…until now! From the master of the spiritual life, Raoul Plus, S.J., it contains loads of practical and spiritual advice on family life. Have you been looking for a handbook on marriage and raising children that is based on truth? You’ve found it!
The saints assure us that simplicity is the virtue most likely to draw us closer to God and make us more like Him.
No wonder Jesus praised the little children and the pure of heart! In them, He recognized the goodness that arises from an untroubled simplicity of life, a simplicity which in the saints is completely focused on its true center, God.
That’s easy to know, simple to say, but hard to achieve.
For our lives are complicated and our personalities too. (We even make our prayers and devotions more complicated than they need be!)
In these pages, Fr. Raoul Plus provides a remedy for the even the most tangled lives.
I remember an older lady years ago who used to say, “I would rather be sadly single than miserably married.” She had not found a good man yet, but knew she should not jump into anything hastily, even though she was getting older.
This reading is a sad state of numerous stories on fb these days…. So many women saying they are doing everything at home and guy just gets the paycheck. They feel stuck in a life with nothing… But I don’t want to say one side is more innocent than the other. So many sad lives! And the kids, how are they supposed to rise above the parent(s) who is/are slacking? What the heck do you do, how do you even get counseling if the other side thinks everything is fine?
It’s a mess! Are there any priests who actually visit their parishoners anymore and become part of their lives to help?😢
That is a sorry state, and a heavy cross. We do not have enough priests in some areas, and there are more in others, but maybe are waiting for an invitation. Still, there are good Catholic counselors who could be turned to. Sometimes it is almost impossible to have the other spouse agree to go for marriage counseling. But, that doesn’t mean that you cannot go by yourself. Perhaps the counselor could be a good sounding board-someone neutral-who could give advice on what a person can do to help the situation by changing themselves, because we can not change someone else. If you change, invariably the other will have to make a change in response. Dr. James Dobson wrote a book called “Love Must be Tough” that explains this process. It’s not easy, (as the title suggests), but it is well worth the effort. It is a good process in dealing with strong willed children as well. Marriage and family are worth fighting for, and sometimes the thing we have to fight is within ourselves. it’s a good place to start, anyway. Our Lord will guide us, if we ask.
My husband was an only child who was unfortunately not given too many responsibilities while growing up. I am the oldest of 12 children, and responsibilities were heaped on early. My husband has grown into responsibilities in ways he never knew he was capable of, and has learned patience he never knew was possible for him. He has grown in so many ways, and I try hard to see what he does do, and not what doesn’t come second nature to him, like it always has for me. He is loving and caring, and I am thankful to God for him.
A beautiful and positive testimony! Thank you for sharing!