THE PROBLEM OF YOUTH (Part 3)
By Rev. T. Grealy, 1944
Part 2 is here.
Part 1 is here.
THE PROBLEM OF YOUTH
By Rev. T. Grealy
The Difficult Age
Nearing the age of puberty a child needs special care. He should be encouraged to the frequent and worthy reception of the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion. In these sacraments he will receive strength to help him through this difficult and dangerous period of his life.
It is possible (and very probable) that a boy at this stage of development will become troublesome to those about him. Instead of ignoring him or losing patience with him, the father should adopt an attitude of sympathy and kindness towards him. He will make sure that the boy gains the correct view of certain facts of human life.
Human beings are composed of a body and soul. A temptation to commit sin is really a conflict between these two elements in man (Epis. to Romans vii., 17-25). It depends on the manner in which man uses his free will whether he will sin or not.
I wonder has it ever occurred to many people that sin places man on a level with the brute beasts, and unnatural acts such as are done in sins against the virtue of purity make man lower than the animals?
Man is sometimes guilty of actions that no other animal has ever done. The grace of God is sufficient to overcome any temptation, and an abundance of grace may be obtained from the frequent and worthy reception of the sacraments.
A boy can have a totally wrong idea of certain natural physical events which occur about the age of puberty unless the father has sufficient interest to warn him and dispel these wrong ideas from his mind.
At this period a boy needs careful spiritual training. Difficulties in matters of conscience should be solved by the priest in Confession, but, outside the tribunal of Penance, it is the duty of the father to see that his boy is not subjected to dangerous occasions of sin of which the boy himself may be quite ignorant.
Fathers of families then should take a serious view of everything that may, in any way, endanger the spiritual or moral welfare of their offspring.
Prevention Better Than Cure
If I may seem to have dwelt for a long time on the subject of the correct rearing of children, it is because I am quite convinced that it is through the neglect of parents that most of the trouble arises amongst youths.
If it is true to say that “prevention is better than cure” I feel confident that in the case of delinquent children we should seek out the cause before we can apply any remedies for delinquency. There can be no doubt that in the vast majority of cases the absence of home training is responsible for the downfall of our youths.
Home training must be founded on RELIGION, and that religion must be practical, not only on the part of the children, but also on the part of the parents. We can never expect to overcome the evils of the day unless there is a sincere return to sound Christian principles.
DELINQUENCY
A careful examination of cases which have come under notice in the Children’s Court has shown that well over 90 percent of the delinquents came from broken homes. Under the separate headings I shall try to point out the significance of the term broken homes, and incidentally show the reason for a large percentage of delinquency.
(a) Lack of Continuity in Religious Training
Lack of continuity in Religious training takes away from the home that religious spirit which should exist in every home. Some parents seem to think that they are not obliged to do anything in the religious education of their children.
They have the false idea that the school does everything in this direction. They think they have little or no obligations when they have enrolled their children in Catholic school. When the children leave school, parents make no effort to keep them attentive to their religious obligations.
(b) Parents Who Are Careless in Their Religious Duties and Domestic Responsibilities
Parents who are careless in their religious duties and domestic responsibilities pave the way for waywardness in the children. We can hardly expect children to carry out their duties in a conscientious way if their parents do not give the example.
How often we have heard parents admit that they do not attend Mass on Sundays and then excuse themselves by saying, “I always see that the children go.”
Is not example the best teacher? Such parents may be regarded as socially and externally respectable. They observe the laws of the country. They keep their homes clean and tidy. They do not quarrel with neighbors. But how do they stand in the sight of God? Are they acting as they should towards Him, or, in other words, are they so respectable in His estimation?
No man can honestly come forward as a reformer or a teacher until he has reformed himself. A man (or a woman) who is estranged from God is a long way from being a reformer.
If such a one cannot give to God what is due to Him, how can he expect to be honest with his neighbor? In his own life he robs God of what is due to Him. In such circumstances, how can this person bring up children correctly?
(c) Mixed Marriages
Mixed marriages are another source of difficulties in the rearing of children. Even in cases where the required promises have been signed before the marriage, and are to some extent observed, there is something wanting in the lives of the children. In order to have a true continuity of religious training in the home, both parents should be practical Catholics.
(d) Lack of Interest in the Children, Their Conduct and Welfare
Lack of interest in the children, their conduct and welfare slowly but surely gives them the impression that they can do what they like and no one seems to take much notice. They are not taught to know God and His law. They have no fear or respect for God or man. If religion is not taught, there is nothing to induce restraint on their actions.
If children are trained in justice and charity they will respect their fellow man and his property. Even in school the boy who cannot leave his record on the school roll had better not leave his name on the desk. The desk is not his property.
It may not be out of place here to quote the words of one of our magistrates with regard to the lack of interest shown by parents. Mr. Arnold, S.M., speaking in the Sydney Central Police Court (May 15, 1939), about youths who take cars and use them and either damage the cars or endanger the lives of people by reckless driving, said: “The stage has been reached when I think the only thing to do is to send these youths to gaol even for a first offence.”
From my experience in the Children’s Court I know the parents are to blame in many cases for not exercising any control. Their children are out till all hours, yet no attempt is made to find where they have been or what they have been doing.
If mothers and fathers exercised more control over their children there would not be so many of these car stealing cases. What he says with regard to car stealing is equally true of other offences also.
(e) A Material and Mercenary Outlook
A material and mercenary outlook on the part of the parents leads the child to believe that all that is required of him in life is that he be of some service to the home financially. The very day after his 14th birthday he is sent off to look for his first job.
We know, of course, that in some homes it is necessary for children to leave school and earn money to help to support the family. As a general rule the parents who need the help most are those who do not wish to let their children leave school. Were it not a matter of necessity, they would allow them to continue their education rather than expect them to leave school at 14 and earn money for the upkeep of the home.
(f) When Parents Are Drunkards
When parents are drunkards, home training and good example are practically at their lowest. The example set by such parents has a bad effect on the children. Quarrels are of frequent occurrence and children lose respect for drunken parents.
Frequently the children are the victims of drunken quarrels through physical violence. Drunken parents are NOT capable of caring for their children.
(g) Parents Who For Some Reason Do Not Live Together
Parents who for some reason do not live together have only half a home. A child can hardly have any respect for a home where the mother will not live with the father or vice-versa, and/or where one parent has an unlawful partner living in the home. Can you imagine such children growing up with respect for authority or with any regard for the sanctity of marriage? There is little respect for the Sacrament of Matrimony in the world today. This is clear from the long list of divorces we see from time to time in the newspapers.
Very little discretion is exercised in choosing a partner for life. Young people who believe in divorce will not bother about this very important consideration. Would it not be a good idea if they paused and thought of the little ones they would bring into the world before they make any arrangements for a marriage?
Many take a girl out with no other intention than violating her virginity. Lust rather than true love is the motive.
Men are careful to breed cattle well so that the stock will not degenerate. How much more important for men and women to choose their partners carefully so that their offspring will not be degenerates. Not enough thought is given to marriage and its consequences because divorce is too easy.
(h) Public Schools
Public schools are a great danger to the Catholic home. The Catholic child who attends such schools will receive, at most, only about one-fifth of the religious training he should have. There he associates with some children who come from homes where they have not been taught religion of any kind, and with others who are even taught to deny the existence of God.
A child is influenced by environment. I am not attacking or condemning the public schools as such. They are doing good work in the material education of the children, but teachers are in the unfortunate position of not being permitted to instill Christian training into the minds of the young. They can encourage good clean living in the broad outlines, but they cannot give anything definite in the way of religious teaching.
As religion is the foundation of education, there is something wanting in our education system, at least as far as the Catholic child is concerned. Our education system, which is free intellectually and financially, has led many to believe that they can do what they please with regard to both God and man.
In country districts where parents have no choice but to send their children to a public school, one usually finds that the children are instructed by the parents, and there is some kind of religious atmosphere in the home. Our excellent Religious Correspondence Courses now in use in the country help the Catholics to understand their duties better.
As a rule, it is not the country children who give us most concern in the lack of religious training and subsequent delinquency.
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The good old-fashioned mothers and the good old-fashioned dads,
With their good old-fashioned lassies and their good old-fashioned lads,
Still walk the lanes of loving in their simple, tender ways,
As they used to do back yonder in the good old-fashioned days.
They dwell in every city and they live in every town,
Contentedly and happy and not hungry for renown;
On every street you’ll find ’em in their simple garments clad,
The good old-fashioned mother and the good old-fashioned dad.
There are some who sigh for riches, there are some who yearn for fame,
And a few misguided people who no longer blush at shame;
But the world is full of mothers, and the world is full of dads;
Who are making sacrifices for their little girls and lads.
They are growing old together, arm in arm they walk along,
And their hearts with love are beating and their voices sweet with song;
They still share their disappointments and they share their pleasures, too,
And whatever be their fortune, to each other they are true.
They are watching at the bedside of a baby pale and white,
And they kneel and pray together for the care of God at night;
They are romping with their children in the fields of clover sweet,
And devotedly they guard them from the perils of the street.
They are here in countless numbers, just as they have always been,
And their glory is untainted by the selfish and the mean.
And I’d hate to still be living, it would dismal be and sad,
If we’d no old-fashioned mother and we’d no old-fashioned dad.
~Edgar A. Guest
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Thank you again, this is sooooo important! Very good reminder especially as high school looms ahead!