Category Archives: Parenting

A Sense of Urgency ~ Passing Our Catholic Faith on to Our Family / New Podcast! ~ Seeing Christ in Our Spouse & Children

13 Monday Mar 2023

Posted by in by Leane Vdp, Family Life, Parenting, Podcasts - Finer Femininity, Sacramentals

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by Leane VanderPutten

I don’t know about you, but oftentimes I can feel a sense of urgency in myself. Maybe one of the reasons is that I am not getting any younger and there is much to accomplish in a short amount of time.

But lately it has been more focused, this sense of importance as time keeps ticking on…

I know all of us have seen the ravages around us of lukewarm Catholicism.

I just listened to a Eucharistic conference and the statistics are grim of the belief in our Lord in the Holy Eucharist…very grim. A staggering 75-80% of Catholics do not believe in the Real Presence. We see casualness and indifference in the receiving of Him Who made us. And this is very widespread.

Were we to talk to an average Catholic, would they know how to say the rosary? Do they know about the importance of holy water, the scapular, St. Benedict medal and all the other treasures of our Faith?

Would they even believe in Purgatory??

It is a tragedy! They are not being taught!

That being so, it can be rather depressing to think of….and so, oftentimes, we don’t. After all, it is out of our hands.

Or is it?

Each day we have a priceless opportunity to pass on our Catholic Heritage to our family. Each day we wake to a brand new prospect of adding another stone to the foundation of the Faith in the little (and not so little) people in our lives. What are we doing about it?

I thought of this the other day as I filled up the Holy Water Fonts with Epiphany water. We aren’t always on top of this but lately it has been only me that remembers. I have older kids at home (the youngest is 17) and they are busy with many (good) things.

But it came home to me in rather a pressing way that I should be reminding them to bless themselves with Epiphany water on their way out the door. If I don’t impress on them the importance of this IMPORTANT tradition, they will not do it within their own homes…and the custom will die…with me.

Do we realize that, even though our own hearts may know these things, if we become lukewarm in passing this knowledge and these customs to our children, this radiant living of the Faith will die with us?

How unfortunate that would be!

So many opportunities will be lost.

Our children will lose out on gaining indulgences because they don’t know about them, of lighting blessed candles when there is a storm because they never thought of it, of celebrating Feast Days because it wasn’t done in their home, of offering Masses for our beloved dead because that wasn’t talked about.

They may not put on the Armor of God each day by saying their Morning Offering, using Holy water, wearing the scapular, the Miraculous and St. Benedict Medals…because they didn’t know.

The list goes on….

So, if we are going to get consumed with something, let it be the living of our Faith in our home. And let us pass this on to our families.

How? By living it in the home. It should be as natural as eating each day….talking about and living the faith.

Sure, there is only so much we can do. We don’t need to incorporate everything that is presented to us. That may make us crazy…which is not the goal.

But I do think we need to stand back and see if we have our priorities straight. Let us especially keep in the forefront of our life the learning, loving and living of our faith and this will, in turn, overflow into the lives of our families.

Maybe we should all be feeling that sense of urgency? Our family grows up quickly and will soon be forging their way into the world, hopefully following God’s will for them.

The greatest inheritance we can give them is the inheritance of a rich and positive experience of living our Catholic Faith in the home. Our Faith makes living worthwhile. And passing that on to our family is the very best gift we can give them.

And the greatest gift we can give our Holy Mother Church is faithful Catholics who continue to pass on the riches of our faith for generations to come.

There will be some things, of course, that very soon they will not want to do for her..dull, dreary things, fetching, cleaning, carrying. But these also they must be trained to do. The mother will often want to save time and trouble by doing them for herself, but if she does she will hurt her children’s character. She must train them young to work for others, to be unselfish, to give. -Dominican Nun, Australia, 1950’s

“Then, returning home, a husband can look upon his wife and children, or a wife upon her husband and children, and see Christ in them, and grasp something of the nobility and the deep goodness of Christian marriage and family life…”

“I am absolutely in awe with the beauty of this rosary. Aiding to the beauty is the true craftsmanship that is evident throughout. Having chosen this purchase to replace my rosary that was in need of constant repair, I am very satisfied with the structural integrity of this one”

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Beautiful, Durable Wire Wrapped Rosaries! Lovely, Durable. Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality. Available here.

Read these pages, and you’ll embark on the ultimate journey of discovery into what happens to the soul after death. You’ll read true stories of the dead who have communicated to loved ones from the great beyond; you’ll learn how the saints described their mystical experiences, and you’ll investigate stunning supernatural phenomena that remain unexplained by science.

Notably, Don Dolindo provides proof for the existence of Purgatory and explains what it’s like for the souls suffering there. Moreover, he describes the consequences of sin and how the souls in Purgatory are awaiting our sacrificial suffering to be released into Paradise.

Best of all, Don Dolindo offers spiritual wisdom that you can apply to your daily life and shows you how to prepare for a holy death and the glory of the world to come. He describes the remarkable mystical experience of the soul’s awe-inspiring entrance into Heaven and explains the unique power of Our Blessed Mother to help us get there.

You’ll also learn:

  • The most important prayers that help free the Holy Souls in Purgatory
  • Why even venial sin impairs our relationship with God
  • Why good works, almsgiving, and penances are powerful atonements for sin
  • Why we need Our Lady’s maternity, humility, and love for souls
  • Why the saints delight in interceding for us
  • The sublime ecstasy and complete fulfillment that await us when we behold the Holy Trinity in Heaven

The rosary, scapulars, formal prayers and blessings, holy water, incense, altar candles. . . . The sacramentals of the Holy Catholic Church express the supreme beauty and goodness of Almighty God. The words and language of the blessings are beautiful; the form and art of statues and pictures inspire the best in us. The sacramentals of themselves do not save souls, but they are the means for securing heavenly help for those who use them properly. A sacramental is anything set apart or blessed by the Church to excite good thoughts and to help devotion, and thus secure grace and take away venial sin or the temporal punishment due to sin. This beautiful compendium of Catholic sacramentals contains more than 60,000 words and over 50 full color illustrations that make the time-tested sacramental traditions of the Church – many of which have been forgotten since Vatican II – readily available to every believer.

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Lent Lessons for Your Children….

27 Monday Feb 2023

Posted by in Parenting, Seasons, Feast Days, etc.

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Painting by Kathryn Fincher

In The Year and Our Children, Mary Reed Newland talks about teaching our children valuable lessons during the grace-filled time of Lent.

One practice she did with her own children is the Lima Beans for sacrifices. The beginning of Lent each child had their own pile of different colored lima beans (they had colored themselves) so they could differentiate from each other’s lima beans. Every time a sacrifice was made they could put one of their own lima beans in the jar. When Easter came the number of lima beans was rewarded accordingly.

A sweet practice that would be fondly remembered by the kids as they grew into adulthood….

Some of her own thoughts as they journeyed through Lent:

The meditations for the Stations of the Cross are most fruitful if they relate to daily life some trial we are struggling with now.

For example, our Lord’s silence when He was condemned to death, when He was tormented by the soldiers, or when He fell under the weight of the Cross – this can be related to that commonplace of childhood: bickering.

Bickering is a form of verbal cannibalism.The one who holds out longer with his pecking at another is victor, having reduced the victim to tears, goaded him to losing his temper, striking, or some other form of retaliation, which is all reported as an unprovoked injustice as follows:

“But I didn’t do anything. Nothing. I just said . .

“I just said” is himself far more culpable, usually, than the poor soul he has goaded beyond endurance.

There is no real remedy for this but silence on the part of victims.

Abstinence from it on the part of attackers is the perfect solution, of course, but if someone does start, silence will stop him.

This, however, is awfully hard on the one who is silent, because this is how bickering goes (as if you didn’t know):

“You pig. You took the biggest.”

“I did not, and I’m not a pig.”

“You are too.”

“I am not.”

“You are too. Pig!”

“I am not a pig. I’m not. I’m not a pig I’m not a pig I’m not a pig!”

“You are too. You are a pig you are a pig you are a pig.”

“I’m not I’m not I’m not.”

“You are you are you are.”

This could go on for an hour if Mother didn’t begin to froth at the mouth. Whereas the silent treatment winds up the conversation (if you can call it that) as follows:

“You pig. You took the biggest.”

“I did not. And I’m not a pig.”

“You are too.”

Silence. In other words, you are a Pig.

O cruel silence …

But children well understand that no one is really a pig; this is only a game to see who can make the other lose his temper first.

It is ugly and mean; and the winner is usually the older child because he knows the extent of the younger’s endurance.

Out of his own store of unavenged wrongs, he chooses this way to refresh a bruised ego. If we have taught them what our Lord said must be the very basis for our behavior, we have the point of departure.

“Whatsoever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me.”

Learning this, we know what we must know in order to put meditations on the Passion together with events out of daily life and discover how to use them.

Then we can see – and children can see it – that to provoke a brother or a sister is to provoke Christ; to be silent under provocation is to be silent with Christ.

It is not good to make such accusations while saying the Stations, but rather to connect the meditations with these real problems (names of particular children omitted), and return to the principles when we are on the scene of abuses that we must correct.

“You are teasing Christ when you tease your brother. It is the same. Whatsoever you do…” He said.

You torment him just for the fun of it the way the soldiers tormented our Lord.

Yet you really love him, as you really love our Lord.

Keep these things in the front of your mind during Lent, and try to bite your tongue when you are tempted to unkindness.

Each time you keep from saying something unkind, it is a triumph of grace, and our Lord will strengthen you with grace for the next time.

There are powerful graces coming to us during Lent, and we must try to use them to rid ourselves of our faults so that on Easter we can be free of them, like the newly baptized are free of Original Sin.

Impossible? Not really, although it will probably take a lifetime to do it. But it is the goal, and especially during Lent it is the spirit of the preparation: to be as those newborn, on Easter morning.

If we are spectators to such a moral victory, we must be sure to congratulate the hero. “Darling, I heard N. today when he called you a pig and tried to make you angry. It was wonderful, the way you didn’t answer back and only walked away.

You used silence the way our Lord used it, the way He wants you to use it. When you are silent in union with Him, you are growing in the likeness of Christ.”

When Dominic Savio was silent before an unjust accusation, he shamed the other boys into admitting their guilt.

This is often the effect of heroic efforts to reach out to Christ and bear hurts with Him. Grace is the invisible ingredient in all these struggles for perfection.

For every honest effort, one may put a bean in the jar. There are beans for all kinds of things: no desserts, no jumping for the telephone (a genius in our midst suggested this to eliminate violent jostling, wrestling, racing, leaping, and tugging – an excruciating discipline); no complaining about anything; doing chores promptly; no weekly penny for candy, and many more, including that magnificent and most glorious of all: coming when called.

All who do this are known as St. Theresas.

Actually, when you scan the long list of them, they amount to what spiritual directors call the “interior mortifications.”

Our mantel is bare this season except for the two candelabra with their twelve candles and the crucifix between them. Even the bread and the baking speak to us of Lent. Crosses of seeds decorate the bread (because when you see the seeds, you remember about “die so you may live”), and on biscuit crusts and meat pies, symbols of the Passion are cut.

“This art of housekeeping is not learned in a day; those of us who have been engaged in it for years are constantly finding out how little we know, and how far we are, after all, from perfection. It requires a clever woman to keep house; and as I said before there is ample scope, even within the four walls of a house (a sphere which some affect to despise), for the exercise of originality, organizing power, administrative ability. And to the majority of women I would fain believe it is the most interesting and satisfactory of all feminine occupations.” –Annie S. Swan  Courtship and Marriage And the Gentle Art of Home-Making (afflink)

This Wednesday, March 1st is Ember Wednesday….

Ember Days or Quatuor Temporas are a traditional time of harvest fasting “four times” per year asking God to give us holy priests for the harvest of souls. Dr Taylor Marshall explains the history and Catholic theology of Ember Days and then challenges Catholics to voluntarily take up the Ember Days asking Christ for holy clergy…

Beautiful St Michael Wire Wrapped Rosary! Lovely, Durable. Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality. Available here.

Meet Agnes, a fourteen-year-old Catholic girl, who is challenged to make a sacrifice. Will she cheerfully accept what she knows is God’s will in this situation? Your kids will enjoy this book and it will be one of those “helps” along the way that sweetly instills Catholic culture in your children!

We often don’t realize the impact of those lessons, those Catholic lessons, that are taught each day to our children. It is so much worth the effort! The signs of the cross, kneeling to say prayers, dipping fingers in holy water, laying fresh flowers at the statue of Our Lady, etc., etc. These are gold nuggets that will live on in your children’s lives. This is building Catholic Culture!
These stories are to help you parents with those little things…..They are story books from my new little series, “Catholic Hearth Stories”. I wrote them especially for my grandchildren….and am sharing them with yours.

Catholic Hearth Stories are tales filled with traditional, old-fashioned values. They are about everyday situations in the life of a Catholic family…Tales about home, friends, fun, sacrifice, prayer, etc. These are full-color books sure to capture the heart of your children.

Each book is about 35 pages of full-color pictures that tell a lovely Catholic story. The ages they are appropriate for are approximately 4 – 12 years.

Available here.

All 4 Catholic Hearth Stories available here.

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Celebrate the Faith with your kids all year round!

For over half a century, Catholic families have treasured the practical piety and homespun wisdom of Mary Reed Newland’s classic of domestic spirituality, The Year and Our Children. With this new edition, no longer will you have to search for worn, dusty copies to enjoy Newland’s faithful insights, gentle lessons, and delightful stories. They’re all here, and ready to be shared with your family or homeschooling group. Here, too, you ll find all the prayers, crafts, family activities, litanies, and recipes that will help make your children ever-mindful of the beautiful rhythm of the Church calendar….

In this joyful and charming book, Maria Von Trapp (from The Sound of Music) unveils for you the year-round Christian traditions she loved traditions that created for her large family a warm and inviting Catholic home and will do the same for yours.

Most people only know the young Maria from The Sound of Music; few realize that in subsequent years, as a pious wife and a seasoned Catholic mother, Maria gave herself unreservedly to keeping her family Cathoplic by observing in her home the many feasts of the Church’s liturgical year, with poems and prayers, food and fun, and so much more!

With the help of Maria Von Trapp, you, too, can provide Christian structure and vibrancy to your home. Soon your home will be a warm and loving place, an earthly reflection of our eternal home….

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Education to the Supernatural ~ Christ in the Home

08 Wednesday Feb 2023

Posted by in Christ in the Home - Fr. Raoul Plus S.J., Parenting

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communion

From Christ in the Home by Fr. Raoul Plus, S.J.

Education to the Supernatural…..This does not mean education to piety.

In Christian families this is properly provided for:

The children are taught their prayers, how to go to Confession, how to prepare for Holy Communion, how to assist at Holy Mass and other church services, how to say the rosary.

All this is fine, but perhaps it is not the essential!

The important thing is to teach the child who he is, who God is, and how God wants to mingle His life with his by coming to dwell in him, consecrating him thereby as a living tabernacle of the Most High.

When the child knows all this not merely as bookish knowledge but as knowledge lived out and often recalled, exercised by his faith and his young good will, then and then only, will there be a solid foundation on which to build religious instruction, to justify and demand exercises of piety.

It is absolutely essential that before all else the child be informed of the divine riches which his baptism brought him. It must be explained to him that the day he was carried as a little baby to be received into the Church, God came to take possession of his soul.

He should be taught that when people come into the world they do not possess this divine life. God gave it to Adam and Eve in the beginning but they lost it.

Right here is a splendid opportunity to explain the greatness and goodness of God, the marvel of our supernatural life, how God created man greater than nature, how He wanted to make all of us His children.

The little one knows well what a father is. Explain to him that God is our Father in order to give him what is essential in all true piety, a filial spirit and an understanding of how true it is to call God, Good.

The story of creation fascinates children; so too does the story of Adam and Eve and the Fall. What a lesson for the child is the example of the terrible punishment incurred by disobedience! . . . The divine life is lost!

But God still loves His poor human creatures just as mamma and papa continue to love their child after he has done wrong. And what is God going to do to give back this lost supernatural life?

When one commits a fault, he must make up for it to obtain pardon. Who can make up for such a fault? God asks His own Son to do it. His Son will come down to earth. And then follows the beautiful story of the Christmas Crib and the timely application of these truths:

How we should pity those who do evil and if we can, help them get out of their misery, their bodily and spiritual wretchedness!

Not only will Jesus live upon earth with us but He will die for us after living more than thirty years over in a little country where we can find many souvenirs of His stay—the little town of His birth, the workshop of His foster-father, that noble carpenter named Joseph, the villages that heard Him preach to all, and especially to children, on how to get to heaven, the place of His death upon the Cross, that place of suffering where Mary His Mother stood beneath His instrument of torture…

All that, all that so that John, Paul, James, Henry, Peter, Louise, Camille, Leonie, Germaine may be even while they are still on earth, little–and yes very great—living tabernacles of God who is Goodness itself; so that later in heaven they may be with the God of their hearts forever.

Religious instruction is not sufficiently centered; it is not centered about the central mystery of Catholicism.

Even the catechism with its divisions of Dogma, Morals and the Sacraments—divisions that are perfectly logical and understandable but more adapted to theological authors than to the souls of children—can, if we are not careful, make one forget the beautiful wholeness of Christianity which is superbly majestic in its architectural lines, clear, and pulsing with life.

It is clear that everything centers about the dogma of grace and our supernatural elevation. The best way to develop this idea with the child is to use the technique of an object lesson and explain the rites and ceremonies of baptism to him. That will be a little drama in which he has been the hero, and consequently, it will hold tremendous interest for him. It is something about himself, it is his own story he hears; he will be delighted.

Describe the ceremonies graphically for the little one. As soon as feasible, take him to church. Before showing him the tabernacle, the Eucharistic dwelling, take him to the baptismal font: Here is where you became a living tabernacle of God.

At the words of the priest, “Go out of this child, unclean spirit; give place to the Holy Spirit,” the devil was forced to leave you, because of the power Our Lord gave to His priests.

Then the Holy Spirit came to dwell in you. And since the Holy Spirit is one with the Father and the Son, God in His fullness came to dwell from then on in your heart—yes, there are three Persons, but there is just the same but one God; there are five fingers but they make only one hand—and that one God in all three Persons dwells in you.

God does not have to use an airplane like the one you saw landing from its flight the other day, but He does come down from heaven to dwell in your soul; He came into each of us, Papa, Mamma and in you, in Henry and James and Pauline, in Genevieve and little Louise.

He comes on His own without anyone else sending Him and His coming is very real. Besides all this, His dwelling in all of us does not keep Him from continuing to dwell in heaven, too. He is all-powerful; it causes Him no difficulty to be at several places at once.

If He who exercises His power everywhere, comes especially into the souls of the baptized, it is to dwell there in a dwelling of love.

When your godmother or your grandfather come to spend a few years at your house, how happy you are! It is to give you pleasure that they come; and they bring with them goodies and lovely presents….

God does the same thing when He comes to stay in you–He brings presents with Him; we call these gifts graces; that means favors, gifts He is not obliged to give but which He gives just because He is so good.

Good, did we say? Extraordinarily good! Much kinder than godmother or grandpa; kinder even than Papa or Mamma. He is the One who made the kindness and goodness of fathers and mothers and of all good people on the earth. Think how much greater is God’s goodness since He possesses all this goodness put together and a great deal more besides!

But then if God is like that, how ought James and Joseph and Henry and Isabelle and Louise and Madeline behave themselves?

Well, first of all, they should never do anything that would chase God from their souls; to do that is what we call mortal sin; mortal, because it forces God to leave just as if it killed Him.

God cannot die, but it is just as if the person would say to Him, “I don’t want anything more to do with You; if I could do away with You, I would do so!”

That is why mortal sin is such a vile thing. And it is not enough for you to keep from driving God out of your soul; no, there in the depths of your heart, you should try to keep Him company. Don’t you think so?

How sad that would be if He would be there within your soul and you would not pay any attention to Him, and seem to attach no importance at all to His Presence.

That would not be very nice. You ought to visit Him there within your soul, in the morning, in the evening and often during the day; speak to Him; tell Him that you love Him very much.

He who loves as a real Christian, a truly baptized soul, keeps God company since God is with him all the time.

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“Now, while we deplore hasty, improvident, ill-considered marriages, and hold that their consequences are very sad, there is a very supreme kind of selfishness in this over-cautiousness to marry which is not delightful to contemplate….the fear lest self should be inconvenienced or deprived in the very slightest degree; and all this does not tend to the highest development of human nature, but rather the reverse, since the spirit of self-denial and self-sacrifice is one of the loveliest attributes of human character.” -Annie S. Swan, Courtship and Marriage And the Gentle Art of Home-Making, 1894

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You are the first to teach your children that lying , stealing, disobedience, anger and revenge are wrong…. ~The Catholic Family Handbook, Fr. Lawrence G. Lovasik

NEW ROSARIES!

Beautiful and Durable Wire-Wrapped Rosaries!

Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality!

Available here.

 

“The Earls of Ravenhurst must always stand for God and Our Blessed Lady, let the cost be what it may!” In seventeenth-century Scotland lies Ravenhurst, the stronghold of Clan Gordon, a family whose reputation for defending their people and their Catholic faith is legendary. But now the rights and lives of Scottish Catholics are in grave peril, and a traitorous usurper controls the clan. With the help of his mother, the “renegade priest,” and other heroic allies, young Charles Gordon must strive in the face of persecution and martyrdom to defend the true faith and restore to Ravenhurst a good, noble, loyal, and Catholic earl. The Outlaws of Ravenhurst has been a popular children’s classic for almost a century. Filled with sword fights, secret passages, and mysterious strangers, this tale of adventure and intrigue portrays lives of courageous virtue amid trials and dangers. The bold spirit, selfless charity, and heroic sacrifice of The Outlaws of Ravenhurst are sure to stir in the hearts of Catholic readers, both young and old, a deep love for their faith and a passion to defend it.

Saint Robert the Rebel, Saint Alberic The Radical, Saint Stephen Harding the Rationalist. Three Religious Rebels brings the facts about the founders of the monastery at Citeaux to life by using known facts and incorporating them in novel form. Rev. M. Raymond manages to write a compelling story of the men who founded the Cistercian Monastic Order. Rejecting the sterile style of a biography, he chooses to address the subject the way a novelist might. He recreates and imagines scenes as they might have been lived out. Being that the author was in fact a Cistercian Monk (specifically a Trappist) he probably understands what motivates monks better than most of us. This book certainly provides some insight into that world, particularly as it might have existed in the 11th and 12th centuries.

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The Mother’s Office Toward Childhood ~ Fr. Bernard O’Reilly

25 Wednesday Jan 2023

Posted by in FF Tidbits, Parenting, True Womanhood, A book of Instruction for Women of the World, Rev. Bernard O'Reilly, L.D., 1893

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From True Womanhood, Rev. Bernard O’Reilly, 1894

THE MOTHER’S OFFICE TOWARD CHILDHOOD.

Oh! the joy

Of young ideas, painted upon the mind

In the warm glowing colors fancy spreads

On objects not yet known; when all is new

And all is lovely: he looks around, and lo!

As if returned to Eden bowers, everything

Is very good.

You know the manners of boys, the characteristics of children —that these are innocence, simplicity, purity, truth, and humility. They have no passion they need blush for, no ambition, no care for riches, no anxious solicitudes, neither malice, nor fraud, nor suspicion, nor hatred. . . .

All is pure, so that the very word boy, or puer (in Latin), is derived from purity. O happy state of boys! O golden age of children! Add intelligence, and what will be wanting to make them angels? For in both are the same beauty, the same countenance, the same native joyousness.

O how often, when I see them passing by, do I wish that they might grow in intelligence and not in stature! Truly it would be good for them to continue thus until Christ shall come.—St. Thomas Villanova

Assuredly if Christian mothers make it the chief purpose of their life to be supernatural in their own interior, and in all their motives, actions, and methods,—they will only have to labor with the divine assistance, “to add intelligence” to all the treasures of mind and heart bestowed upon their babes by nature, increased and hallowed in such a wondrous way by Baptism,—and nothing “will be wanting to make them angels.”

Nay, if they cultivate in them the “gifts of the Holy Ghost,” bestowed in an inferior degree in Baptism and in their fullness in Confirmation, they will grow in that understanding which is all divine in its objects and the light it pours on all things, without ceasing to grow ” in stature.”

Such mothers, by the careful and loving culture of the pure souls confided to them, will omit nothing that is “wanting to make them angels ;” and as the result of such training many will continue angels “,until Christ shall come.”

We have some of these angelic men and women before our mind’s eye now, watched over in childhood, as if they were incarnate spirits entrusted to the mother’s care, to be trained in all the perfection of manhood and womanhood while preserving all the glorious characteristics of their angel-nature.

They grew up in the spiritual beauty and spotless innocence of their baptism, unfolding in mind and heart these priceless “gifts” of the Holy Spirit, just as they developed all the exterior graces and loveliness of their human character; and so they continued till Christ came to summon them away,—all too early, the world thought,— from the society which so much needed the light of their examples.

Once more, let us see in the baptized babe of the Christian mother what God sees in it: let the same sublime conception of the child’s position and destinies which is in the Divine Mind be also in the mind of the parent.

Just as a savage, ignorant of the value of gems or the precious metals, will prefer brilliant-colored glass beads to the diamonds of Brazil, the emeralds of New Grenada, or the pearls of Coromandel, even so will it be with the mother who forgets or ignores what is the divine destiny of her babe, what price Christ has paid on the cross to lift it up to His own level, and what capacities are in that young soul for the most godlike virtues and goodness.

In the child brought back from the baptismal font to the mother’s arms, there is the human being with the fallen nature inherited from Adam, but redeemed. and restored in Christ, and there is also the godlike being created anew in baptism in the likeness of its Divine Parent.

In spite of the sacrament of the second birth and the grace of elevation with all its attendant gifts and aids,—there remains in the child the wound left by the primeval transgression: our inclinations are downward, and they have to be resisted, to be overcome, mortified and deadened, if we would rise to the glorious heights of Christian heroism and godliness, which belong to the angelic and heavenly nature we have put on in Christ.

Thus, the mother has to watch over the manifestation of the evil dispositions which early peep out in the child, and tend to drag it down, because they are the inclinations of flesh and blood, and are of earth, earthly.

These have to be combated, counteracted, immediately and unceasingly, from their first appearance in infancy and childhood, if the mother would not see them shoot up in boyhood and girlhood, overtopping and choking the growth of every supernatural, or even natural, virtue.

It would be a fatal neglect,—one, in all likelihood, irreparable,—to allow the babe to have its own way in everything. Wise mothers are careful to check the temper of their youngest infants, and they do succeed in making them acquire even then habits which ever after grow with their growth.

Even pagans looked upon the soul of the child as a something so mysterious, so deep, and so holy,—as if a divine being tenanted the little helpless body,—that they would have their babes treated with infinite reverence.

We Christians know clearly what mighty spirit dwells within that regenerated soul; and we may divine somewhat of the workings and promptings of the Paraclete in His living tabernacle.

Who of us, who has roamed in boyhood or early manhood through the solitudes of our great virgin forests, but has come unexpectedly upon a lovely little lake,—the parent spring of some lordly river,—nestling in a secluded valley, with the great trees along its margin sending their roots down to drink of the pure waters, that margin itself fringed all around with wild flowers,—while the calm mirror-like bosom reflected the blue skies above, with their white or golden clouds, and the mighty hills which stood sentinels around to protect from intrusion or profanation all the sanctities of the place?

It is not a mere reflection of the heavens, or an image of the eternal hills that the attentive and wondering mind can see within the pure passionless depths of the soul of infancy or childhood. We know that the God of that great temple we call the universe, the Spirit Creator and Sanctifier, is there Himself in person.

What is the nature of his working within these mysterious depths of the child-soul? What foundations of mighty things to come is His hand laying beneath the untroubled surface of that life in its well-spring?

Mothers,—the educated, the wealthy, the God-fearing,—would do wisely to ask themselves such questions as these, —when they gaze into the upturned face of their babe, and look down into these deep and fearless eyes, through which a glimpse is had of the mysterious infant world of thought and feeling within.

“Children in their tabernacle know the secrets, not of cities, not of human society, not of history, but of God—their fair eyes are full of infinite sweetness—their little hands, joyous and blessed, have not committed evil—their young feet have never touched our defilement—their sacred heads wear an aureole of light—their smile, their voice, proclaim their twofold purity.

O the paradisaical ignorance, coveted, perhaps, by angels, of all the errors which heresy has sown in later times What cruelty to intercept the view of children by suffering their feet to get entangled in such briers, and their minds to be thus cankered, as is the bud bit with an envious worm, ere he can spread his sweet leaves to the air, or dedicate his beauty to the sun!

Later they will not thank you; far happier had it sufficed them to have known good by itself, and evil not at all! As terns and other birds from arctic solitudes, when found flapping their long, silver, tapering wings over our rivers that wind. through woodlands and rich yellow meadows, show no fear of man, but keep close hovering over the clowns who with stones and staves assail them, so these innocent souls, coming first amid the crowded haunts of life, are ignorant of evil, and of all dangers unsuspicious.”

It should be our principal business to conquer ourselves and, from day to day, to go on increasing in strength and perfection. Above all, however, it is necessary for us to strive to conquer our little temptations, such as fits of anger, suspicions, jealousies, envy, deceitfulness, vanity, attachments, and evil thoughts. For in this way we shall acquire strength to subdue greater ones. – Saint Francis de Sales

At the end of the day, you need to first and foremost be patient with yourself….look back on the day and see the energy you DID EXPEND for your family….

Our granddaughter, Agnes, who is 8 years old, has started her own little business! It is called “Agnes’ Clayspirations”. She is very good at what she does and, so far, has given her creations away for gifts to all the ladies in the family. We are impressed! Here is her first Clayspiration that she put on our shop. She will be doing more when she finds time. She’s a busy little lady looking after Esther and doing school! 😉

Available here.

Lenten Flip Cards available here.

Lenten Bundle Available here.

The first of Ronald Knox’s three “Slow Motion” collections, The Mass in Slow Motion comprises fourteen sermons preached during World War II to the students of the Assumption Sisters at Aldenham Park. Modest yet arresting in style, Knox explains the Mass from the opening psalm to the solemn words of conclusion: Ite missa est. While the liturgy Knox contemplates is that of the Tridentine Rite, the abundant fruits of his contemplation can be easily translated to the Ordinary Form of the present day. Indeed, their primary impetus is the powerful portrayal of the continuous action of the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass, in which formula yields to mystery and man participates in his own salvation.

During the WWII bombing of London, Ronald Knox—a priest, radio personality, detective novelist, scholar, and Catholic convert—found himself the chaplain of a girls’ school where students were being sheltered. When his existing homilies were exhausted, Knox began to write new ones for his students based on the Apostles’ Creed. The homilies were so well-received that they were later published as The Creed in Slow Motion.

This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

Teach Your Children Good Manners ~ Fr. Lovasik

16 Monday Jan 2023

Posted by in Catholic Family Handbook - Fr. Lovasik, Parenting

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by Father Lawrence Lovasik, The Catholic Family Handbook

Good manners are the expression of controlled strength. A person who is kind to others and respectful of their feelings has learned the magnificent art of directing his strength and controlling merely animal tendencies.

Early in their life make your children aware of the enormous value – here and now, and just from the standpoint of temporal advantages – of practicing good manners.

In good manners lies the true art of winning friends and influencing people. Lifelong good manners mean real popularity, with the later success in life that comes from popularity. Social and financial success is enormously facilitated for the person who knows the right thing to do and does it.

Good manners are important, because they give us confidence, and confidence is necessary for success. Point out to your children by example and out of their own growing experience how welcome the well-mannered person is in any circle.

Let them know how much you enjoy visits by children who are well behaved, who have a decent regard for other people’s rights, who ask permission before they touch things, who thank people after they have played with their things, and who willingly share with them their own things.

Impress your children with the fact that good manners are not sissy, but, rather, that they indicate a strong character and kind personality if motives are truly Christlike and sincere.

Bad manners are not a sign of cleverness, but the clearest indication of selfishness. A bad-mannered person may betray a real stupidity that holds that the rest of the world is unworthy of his effort to win and retain anyone’s friendship.

Show your children how bad manners mark uncontrolled greed, selfishness, and even ignorance of the most fundamental human likes and dislikes, a sign of the most ungracious disregard for others prompted by utter egotism.

Teach good manners at home

Good manners spring from the deep love cultivated by parents in their home. Only there can a child be equipped with the foundations of good manners – a respect for the rights of others.

The display of good manners between parents themselves is the first real lesson given to children. It is hard to don a new set of manners when you attend a dinner party or go on a date.

Proper manners practiced over and over, day after day, become a part of you. They make you more thoughtful and more appreciative. They cost little – and mean much!

The home, often the place for letting off steam, criticism, and bad manners, should be the training school for learning to live properly and happily.

But you, father and mother, are the teachers of good manners. Your children are great imitators and usually reflect the background of their parents. Children learn fundamental good manners from the way you speak to each other. If your speech is affectionate, if you address each other gently, no child can escape the influence of that example.

There should be no jibes and no insults between you. When you want something done, ask for it politely. Let there be no loud commands, orders without “please,” or favors accepted without “thank you.”

In speaking to each other, never use unpleasant or objectionable – much less insulting – names, even in jest, such as “the old lady,” “my boss,” “the wife,” or “the old man.”

Politeness is something spouses owe each other, and it profoundly affects the manners of their children.

A civilized husband gives his wife the same polite consideration that any gentleman is expected to give to a refined woman. Your children should find in you the manners that marked your courtship and honeymoon.

Their attitude toward their mother and ultimately toward all other women will be largely influenced by their father’s blend of love and politeness.

These good manners are to be displayed in parallel ways by the mother. She treats her husband with the same politeness that she shows to other men. She is a lady measuring up to his stature as a gentleman. Through her example, the good manners of her children will inevitably be ensured.

Your children will be attracted by the charm of good manners as they see you walk these gracious ways. If your manners are bad and your training of your children’s manners is slovenly or nonexistent, your children will almost certainly be rude and will betray “bad breeding.”

On the other hand, if your children have good manners, it is a public demonstration that they have come from a home full of love and respect, a home of charm and culture, where the parents were aware of the decencies of civilized living and passed on to their offspring a knowledge of the proper things to do and the proper way to deal with people.

You can never afford to stop insisting on courtesy within your home. Good manners in the home are far more important than are good manners outside the home. Without the solid foundation laid there, on-parade manners are so much cheap varnish.

Kindness based on love and respect is the fairest adornment of your home. Keep love in your home, and God will be there, as the beloved apostle says, “God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

So much we owe to motherhood. What a grand privilege, then, accrues to every woman who becomes and is a mother after God’s own heart! -Rev. Fulgence Meyer, Plain Talks on Marriage, 1927

“I am absolutely in awe with the beauty of this rosary. Aiding to the beauty is the true craftsmanship that is evident throughout. Having chosen this purchase to replace my rosary that was in need of constant repair, I am very satisfied with the structural integrity of this one”

“This is my fifth or sixth rosary I’ve purchased from Meadows of Grace. Every single one is so beautiful that it takes my breath away. Absolutely exquisite work! I also love how sturdy they are made…I’ve purchased other ones from Etsy previously that break constantly. I’ve never had that issue with a rosary from this store. Highly recommend!”

“Another custom rosary for me and exactly what I wanted! Leane’s work is impeccable quality and the finished rosary is beautiful!”

Beautiful Blessed Mother Wire Wrapped Rosaries! Lovely, Durable. Each link is handmade and wrapped around itself to ensure quality. Available here.

Do you want to get closer to Jesus? To align your thoughts, will, and actions with Him?

There is no better way to Christ than through His  Mother. That’s why St. Louis de Montfort’s Traditional Method of Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary  is the time-honored, saint-tested way to grow to closer to Our Lord.

This is the traditional method devised by St. Louis de Montfort himself. And now, we’ve made it available in a single, deluxe vinyl volume, perfect for preparation for the Total Consecration and for yearly renewal.

Inside you will…

  • Gain a deeper understanding of what it means to Consecrate yourself to Jesus through Mary
  • Begin to realize the profound joy and peace that comes with giving your will over to Jesus through His Mother
  • Discover the deep connection between Mary and Her Son, and how that bond can improve our own spiritual life and intercessory prayer
  • Have access to all the tools, prayers, and Scripture needed to consecrate your household to Jesus through Mary

Beautiful and durable, you’ll come back the wisdom of Saint Louis de Montfort again and again as you live out your consecration. This classic and revered devotional is an essential for every Catholic home.


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Though nothing historical is known of her, she was declared a Saint in 1837, only 35 years after discovery of her relics. Here is the whole incredible story, plus many accounts of her tremendous favors and miracles. Another St. Jude to call on in our desperate needs.

Enthusiasm for Teaching ~ The Catholic Teacher’s Companion

12 Thursday Jan 2023

Posted by in Catholic Teacher's Companion, Parenting

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This article is meant, not just for teachers, not just for Religious, but for all of us who touch and teach the hearts of children. We women have an awesome responsibility…as mothers, as teachers, as single women, as Religious…to carry out the forming of those little minds and hearts to serve Our Lord in His Church to the utmost of our ability! Enthusiasm?? We must!

This is an excerpt taken from a treasure of a book published in 1924 called The Catholic Teacher’s Companion – A Book of Inspiration and Self-Help.

ENTHUSIASM FOR TEACHING

I ever held it sweet either to learn, to teach or to write.—SAINT BEDE.

Enthusiasm is the thing which makes the world go round. Without its driving power nothing worth doing has ever been done. Love, friendship, altruism, devotion to career or hobby—all these, and most of the other good things in life, are forms of enthusiasm.

THE DRIVING POWER

Real teaching is ninety-percent enthusiasm. Amid the numberless duties of her profession the teacher must be animated with the spirit that made Theodore Roosevelt spurn the sympathy of the visitor who pitied the President toiling, on a sultry afternoon in July, at his desk piled high with work.

Though the beads of perspiration stood on his brow, Roosevelt smiled his brightest and broadest smile: “Keep your sympathy; I am happy because I like my job.”

I like my job may well be the watchword of the teacher. A model teacher, like a model physician, will think her profession the finest in the world. She will possess for her noble calling the enthusiasm of the idealist and the firm faith that moves mountains, without either of which no good work was ever accomplished.

To succeed, the teacher must, day after day, enter the schoolroom live and fresh and active-minded. As soon as she discovers that her interest in her work is flagging, that she is growing weary of certain phases of her task, she must be alarmed over her fitness for her vocation, and she is in duty bound to use all means available to re-create in her soul the spirit that animated her on that first morning of her teaching career when her heart was singing a hymn of praise and thanksgiving to the Bridegroom of her soul for having called her to the most sublime work open to woman.

Nor should it be difficult for a religious teacher to glow with enthusiasm for her exalted mission. It might be difficult for her to grow enthusiastic about dress or other vanities. But it should be easy for her to glow with the idea of having committed to her care the mind and the will—the immortal souls—of boys and girls destined one day to constitute the main body of the Church Militant in the greatest country on earth.

Where is the Sister who could remain cold at the idea of having placed into her hand this clay plastic of Catholic manhood and womanhood, and to be told:

“Here is your material to work with. Each and every one of these children is a prospective citizen of heaven, and it is for you to make them all worthy of that high destiny.

This boy has talents that should enable him to do great things for God and America. His talents are entrusted to your keeping, and must be developed by you.

That other boy is less gifted intellectually, but has in him the making of a real man, and the material to inspire thousands with the example of his struggle against odds . . .

This girl has all the marks of a religious vocation, and it is for you to develop, by example and precept, her character, into one worthy of her sublime calling.

Those other girls may someday be nurses, teachers, or mothers of families; and one and all should be trained by you for the best that they are capable of.”

WORKING FOR ETERNITY

To the Catholic teacher the eloquent words of Daniel Webster may mean more than the orator ever dreamed of: “If we work upon marble, it will perish; upon brass, time will efface it; but if we work upon immortal souls, if we imbue them with principles, with the just fear of God and love of our fellowmen, we engrave on those tablets something which will brighten to all eternity.”

She may in a similar way attach a deeper meaning to Frank W. Simonds’ appreciation of the teacher’s profession:

“If an Agassiz finds pleasure among fossils in order that he may interpret the great story of pre-historic life; if a Thoreau by Walden Pond is delighted with his studies of bugs and beetles; if a John Burroughs on his little patch of ground in the valley of the Mohawk gloried in his life among the birds and bees; if a Burbank is enraptured with his work of transforming a worthless desert cactus into an edible fruit, or in producing sweeter rose or fairer lily;

if these and other workers, whose names are legion, revel in the love of their work—then by what term shall we designate the joy that should be the teacher’s, who works not with mere fossils, nor with bugs or beetles, nor with birds, bees or flowers, but with the child; who is at once the most complex, the most plastic, the most beautiful, the most wonderful of all God’s creation?

Yes, it is a wonderful thing to be a teacher; it is a great thing to teach school.”

Responsibility is the trait of getting a job done that has been entrusted to you, and doing the job right, to the best of your ability, and having it done on time. This trait is especially needed when you have no one looking over your shoulder to make sure the job gets done.

This is what so many wives of today are lacking – a sense of responsibility for the work they do in their homes and for their families. You don’t have a time clock to punch or a manager coming by to check on you to make sure the job is getting done. Without this outside pressure, many of us just don’t do as good of a job at home as we would do somewhere else. What’s missing? That trait of responsibility. – Helen Andelin

Coloring pages for your children…

Our attitude changes our life…it’s that simple. Our good attitude greatly affects those that we love, making our homes a more cheerier and peaceful dwelling! To have this control…to be able to turn around our attitude is a tremendous thing to think about!
This Gratitude Journal is here to help you focus on the good, the beautiful, the praiseworthy. “For the rest, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever modest, whatsoever just, whatsoever holy, whatsoever lovely, whatsoever of good fame, if there be any virtue, if any praise of discipline, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8 – Douay Rheims).
Yes, we need to be thinking of these things throughout the day!
You will be disciplined, the next 30 days, to write positive, thankful thoughts down in this journal. You will be thinking about good memories, special moments, things and people you are grateful for, lovely and thought-provoking Catholic quotes, thoughts before bedtime, etc. Saying it, reading it, writing it, all helps to ingrain thankfulness into our hearts…and Our Lord so loves gratefulness! It makes us happier, too!

Printable is here.

Paperback is here.

S

In With God in Russia, Ciszek reflects on his daily life as a prisoner, the labor he endured while working in the mines and on construction gangs, his unwavering faith in God, and his firm devotion to his vows and vocation. Enduring brutal conditions, Ciszek risked his life to offer spiritual guidance to fellow prisoners who could easily have exposed him for their own gains. He chronicles these experiences with grace, humility, and candor, from his secret work leading mass and hearing confessions within the prison grounds, to his participation in a major gulag uprising, to his own “resurrection”—his eventual release in a prisoner exchange in October 1963 which astonished all who had feared he was dead.

Powerful and inspirational, With God in Russia captures the heroic patience, endurance, and religious conviction of a man whose life embodied the Christian ideals that sustained him…..

Captured by a Russian army during World War II and convicted of being a “Vatican spy,” Jesuit Father Walter J. Ciszek spent 23 agonizing years in Soviet prisons and the labor camps of Siberia. Only through an utter reliance on God’s will did he manage to endure the extreme hardship. He tells of the courage he found in prayer–a courage that eased the loneliness, the pain, the frustration, the anguish, the fears, the despair. For, as Ciszek relates, the solace of spiritual contemplation gave him an inner serenity upon which he was able to draw amidst the “arrogance of evil” that surrounded him. Ciszek learns to accept the inhuman work in the infamous Siberian salt mines as a labor pleasing to God. And through that experience, he was able to turn the adverse forces of circumstance into a source of positive value and a means of drawing closer to the compassionate and never-forsaking Divine Spirit.

He Leadeth Me is a book to inspire all Christians to greater faith and trust in God–even in their darkest hour. As the author asks, “What can ultimately trouble the soul that accepts every moment of every day as a gift from the hands of God and strives always to do his will?”

Let Your Child Learn and Grow Through Play

10 Tuesday Jan 2023

Posted by in Parenting

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Painting by Jenny Nystrom

Painting by Jenny Nystrom

From How to Raise Good Catholic Children, Mary Reed Newland

“Now that you children have all those nice things to play with, why don’t you go play?”

Wouldn’t it be nice if they did? All those nice trucks and dolls and checkers and trikes . . . What’s the matter with children, not wanting to play?

Nothing is the matter with them. There’s simply a difference between what parents think is play and what children think is play, and if play were nothing but what parents think it is, this would be a hopelessly dull existence.

Playing is the best means of all for children to learn, because they don’t have to be coaxed to do it. It includes everything within range of their experience, and involves only one qualification: it must be fun.

It includes all the feeling pleasures, such as playing with mud, or food, or water. It includes the hearing pleasures, such as banging to make noise, or singing, or saying words over and over.

It includes the seeing pleasures, such as looking through amber bread wrappers, or watching rain on windows or ants in anthills.

It’s the thinking pleasures, such as taking all the nice toys apart and trying to put them back together, or being greedy about looking at all the books there are, and all the pictures.

It’s the smelling pleasures, such as using your mother’s cologne, or crushing mint in your fingers, or sniffing empty chocolate boxes.

It’s the basketball, baseball, jumping-on-bed pleasures and more of their kind, and the pummeling-your-brothers-within-an-inch-of-their-life pleasures.

No? Listen to how we react.  “Here, here! Stop playing with your food.”  “Now, why do you play in puddles with your shoes on?”  “Do you have to play with mud?”  “Why must all your play be so destructive?”  “See here, you boys! Stop playing so rough!”

If Adam and Eve had had Cain and Abel before the first sin, what fun they would have had. Nothing they wanted to do would have been wrong, or out of order, or a nuisance or a bother.

But it didn’t happen that way, and now, after Original Sin, we have the same problems to cope with in play as we have in everything else. We have to teach our children that the same laws of charity apply to playmates as apply, for instance, to the far-removed (and therefore easily loved) poor children they pray for nightly.

We have to show them that the same obligations of service, consideration, sharing, and respect apply in play as in home and work and school.

We have to teach them that play is prayer, and help them develop an awareness of good play, which can be lovely prayer, and bad play, which cannot be prayer at all.

Play relates to the whole child, his whole body, all its members, his senses, his imagination, his will, and in his joy after happy play or his discontent after the unhappy, it touches his soul.

“Many times God allows it to be hard to pray, simply to school us in applying our wills, to teach us that the value of prayer does not depend on the amount of emotion we can whip up. Many times the saints had trouble getting excited about prayers, but they said them, because prayers were due and their value had nothing to do with how eagerly they went about saying them.” -Mary Reed Newland

“It would be nice if the ‘work is play’ stage lasted longer than it does. Children soon discover, however, that the wary in this world shy away from work, and now begins the real struggle…” An excerpt from Mary Reed Newland’s book ‘How to Raise Good Catholic Children”.

Girl’s Lovely and Lacey Crocheted Veil! This is a beautiful girls hand-crocheted veil made with care and detail. It will fit a girl from age 3 to a young lady. Available here.

To trust in God’s will is the “secret of happiness and content,” the one sure-fire way to attain serenity in this world and salvation in the next. Trustful Surrender simply and clearly answers questions that many Christians have regarding God’s will, the existence of evil, and the practice of trustful surrender, such as:

  • How can God will or allow evil? (pg. 11)
  • Why does God allow bad things to happen to innocent people? (pg. 23)
  • Why does God appear not to answer our prayers? (pg. 107)
  • What is Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence? (pg. 85) and many more…

This enriching classic will lay to rest many doubts and fears, and open the door to peace and acceptance of God’s will. TAN’s pocket-sized edition helps you to carry it wherever you go, to constantly remind yourself that God is guarding you, and He does not send you any joy too great to bear or any trial too difficult to overcome.

Setting out in a raging blizzard with nothing but an outlaw’s trunk and a heart clenched with dread,
young Barney Casey leaves the warmth of his family for the cold unknown. Will he find the courage to obey the Blessed Virgin’s command?
An inspiring Christmas story about Blessed Solanus Casey, from the pen of bestselling Catholic novelist Susan Peek.This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support.

An Important Letter From Father To Son

17 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by in Father's Role, Parenting, Virtues, Youth, Youth/Courtship

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An Important Letter From Father To Son

From Steering the Boy to a Happy Marriage, 1949

Dear Son:

This letter is very important, perhaps the most important I will ever write, and having been a stenographer, secretary, etc. I have written many. But this is from me to you—from father to son—my only son—and seemingly certain the only son I will ever have. If it should be that you have a son some day you will understand—the love of a father for his son.

So far, you have done very well and I am proud of you, and feel certain you will continue to be a credit to yourself, to your fine mother and sisters and to me. But fate, perhaps of my own making, has decreed that we are separated for a time and at this particular period of your life when I so much want to help you find the true guide for living.

I have in my pocket a slip of paper, already yellowed with age, on which I wrote the following: “Nov. 17, 1919 1:10 PM (Name) Took (mother) to hospital 1 :00 AM, 11, 17 19.” You are therefore 19 years 5 months old now, an age at which a boy needs the helpful guidance of his father.

Now that I am well and able, much more so than ever, I feel keenly my responsibility to you. Oh what I would give if I could have had guidance like this from my father when I was your age? My father died when I was only four and one-half years old—I don’t even remember him. Consequently I had no one to do this for me.

When I say that I don’t wish to reflect unkindly on my very good mother and sisters. They did more than their full duty to me.

If I had had such a letter, or personal instruction, and had faithfully followed it, it would have saved me untold misery and finally deep despair, to say nothing of the suffering and unhappiness that I caused many others. But if that had been the case perhaps you would never have been born, or at least you would have different parents—but I am getting into deep water here and had better throw out the life line.

So let’s take the situation as we find it, not as we would like to have it—always a good rule to start with on a job of work. But before joyfully entering the fray and accepting the challenge, and before I forget to mention it, I want to say that one of the many reasons why I so much wanted to see you at Easter was that I wanted to help you in the matter of your rupture.

I remember keenly how much concern mine gave me when I was near your age. You have arrived at or are approaching the period when sex begins to engage the thoughts of most young people. The right way to handle this natural condition is to make it an imperative MUST rule of conduct to obey the sixth commandment of God: “Thou shalt not com-mit adultery.”

This means to keep yourself morally clean in all respects just as the Boy Scout oath requires and which you have taken many times. There will be times when you are in the company of careless or weak companions when they will attempt to ridicule you into violating this commandment, and there even might occur a tempter in the way of a bad girl or woman of loose morals.

Or you might get the idea to yield to impurity in secret and think no one will know. But heed my plea and stand steadfast, no matter what the cost, and you will be glad you did.

When the right girl comes along, if marriage should be your portion, you will know it, and the fact that you have kept yourself clean will be a big aid in itself in meeting the right girls among whom the right one might turn up.

Remember—make it a MUST rule and no compromise in any circumstances. One cannot get away from one’s conscience—it will follow one to the ends of the earth, and that “still small voice” will be there just the same.

One of the fine results from a strict observance of this excellent commandment is that it keeps one from dissipating his energy and time on sinful things, and keeps the mind alert for attention to other things which really contribute to one’s welfare and happiness.

You have a good knowledge of the Bible and must have noted how often reference is made to the wickedness of impurity, lust, etc. and how often they have caused the downfall of individuals and nations.

Another thing to bear in mind is to avoid the things and places where temptation is likely to occur, such as smutty magazines, indecent photographs, motion pictures playing up sex, (generally in a subtle, enticing manner), association with the wrong kind of girls.

A young man cannot associate with evil very long before the devil en-traps him. Don’t try to see how close you can come and think you will not weaken. That is why Christ taught all to pray: “Lead us not into temptation.” The smart thing is to keep as far away from it as possible. So much for that.

All the other commandments are important too and should be kept faithfully. The means recommended by the Church for right living and the natural consequence—right preparation for the life hereafter,—are:

1. Keep the commandments;

  1. Receive the sacraments;

3. Perform good works;

4. Pray.

It is well to bear these in mind and practice them. This will give you the assurance that God is your ally and therefore you cannot fail to win the day. And when the time comes for you to pass out of life you will face death with that peace springing from the conviction of life everlasting, of which St. Paul said: “That eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man what things God hath prepared for them that love him.”

On the matter of the life hereafter, which, of course, is not far ahead for every soul, that grand inspired messenger of Christ, John L. Stoddard, out of the richness of a lifetime of observation, experience and research, states his ultimate conclusion in the following beautiful, conviction-compelling manner:

“A time will come,—may come at any moment,—when this ephemeral existence, with its business occupations, wealth and pleasures, must be left. Some callously declare that they shall then expire like the beasts, and pass at once to nothingness.

But, in the face of man’s unsatisfied desires and potentialities, of his instinctive longing for the reign of perfect justice, and of the positive words of Christ in reference to a future judgment, how do they know that they will pass thus into annihilation, untried, unrecompensed, unpunished? They do not know it. They cannot know it. The fact that they desire it does not make it true.

“And if they do not find annihilation at death’s portal, but on the contrary confront their Maker and their Judge there, well, what then? One thing is sure; of all that they desired here,—rank riches, pleasures, personal beauty, power, fame,—they can take nothing with them. All that will go with them into the future life will be,—not what they have, but what they are.

To all men, therefore, it must seem possible, to most men probable, and to Christians certain, that this life is not all ; that this world’s sorrow, suffering and bereavement are not the meaningless precursors of annihilation; that all the great achievements of the human mind will not end uselessly upon a lifeless orb; that earth’s injustices will not rest unavenged; that worthy, pious and self-sacrificing deeds will not go unrewarded; and, above all, that Heaven is not a mere mirage, nor God a myth, nor immortality an idle dream.”

The following from the Bible seems fitting here: “and fear ye not them that kill the body, and are not able to kill the soul ; but rather fear him that can destroy both soul and body in hell.” (St. Matt. 10:28).

I cannot live your life for you, and I would not if I could. That is every person’s privilege and duty. But there is no reason why you should not profit by my experience. It is the smart thing to do. And you will thereby go farther and accomplish more than I have.

This letter is nearing conclusion, and I am only going to mention the following to help impress you with my earnestness and the truth of what I have stated herein.

I am writing this at a time when I haven’t a dollar of my own, and am temporarily living on the charity of a good sister. The point I would make is that I have this firm belief, even in these circumstances.

How much easier it will be when I have at my disposal an abundant income, which I feel supremely confident I will have soon, because, by the grace of God, I have the stuff to earn it: “Give the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.”

I still have a long ways to go. Also, going back to the last paragraph, it is not so easy to do what I am doing, considering that over a long period I had an ample income; at times substantial. It requires much self-discipline and patience, two virtues which I do not recall ever being charged with. (Perhaps this is how I have to get them.)

I hope you will feel inclined to keep and cherish this letter, and to read it every now and then. If it should be that you are present when I pass on, it would give me the greatest pleasure if you could tell me that you have faithfully followed the advice here given to the best of your ability. I will, of course, supplement this in person, from time to time when we meet.

I am drafting this letter on a beautiful, balmy spring afternoon, sitting on a bench in the Public Library Park at Massachusetts Ave. and K Street in the nation’s capital. It is wonderful to be alive and able and willing to do one’s best work, in which there is always the greatest pleasure. You will find life that way pretty much if you adopt the program I have recommended to you. By this I am giving you the best I have; angels can do no more.

John Henry Newman said: “Nothing would be done at all, if a man waited till he could do it so well that no one could find fault with it.”

This is a good thing to remember in many situations. And now, goodbye for a little while, and may God bless you and give you understanding and strength. This morning I received your very good letter. Those grades are excellent and I am more than pleased. Will write in a few days.

Yours very truly, Dad

“Who shall blame a child whose soul turns eagerly to the noise and distraction of worldliness, if his parents have failed to show him that love and peace and beauty are found only in God?” – Mary Reed Newland

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Children to be Taught the Value of Time ~ True Womanhood

10 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by in Parenting, True Womanhood, A book of Instruction for Women of the World, Rev. Bernard O'Reilly, L.D., 1893

≈ 1 Comment

A somber reading for this month of the Holy Souls. One day it will be us who will receive the recompense of our lives. Have we used our time wisely? Do we teach this to our children?

Originally, this passage was for written for girls, because the author was focusing on the idleness of wealthy women. It is a valuable lesson for all. Times have changed…video games and idleness are rampant. All children need to learn the valuable lesson of….TIME.

From True Womanhood, Rev. Bernard O’Reilly, 1894

Children to be Taught the Value of Time

Not less important to the future welfare of your children than anything you can teach them is the priceless value you should accustom them to set upon time.

Mothers,—wealthy mothers, in particular, —cannot weigh too seriously and conscientiously how strictly the just Judge will call them to account for the use of the hours and days and years which are wasted in idleness, even though not misspent in vice and dissipation.

There are some persons who live as though they never had been taught when young that the Great Giver of life and time and hourly opportunities would surely exact of them one day a minute account of the use made of every sun that rose upon them, and of every hour that marks his course.

Mothers such as we suppose our readers to be, cannot plead ignorance of their early knowledge of the sacred obligation of employing – every moment of time to good purpose,—and, surely, they will not allow son or daughter of theirs to be ignorant in so vital a matter.

It is in childhood, and in youth especially, that every day is of priceless value, when, in simplest truth, every precious hour well employed is a seed sown in the furrow and covered over with the fostering earth and blessed of God from on high to bring forth certain increase in due season.

But every day and hour idled away or misspent in doing anything and everything but what one ought to do, is an opportunity thrown away for self-improvement, for progress in all true goodness, or, what is infinitely worse, given to the service of the archenemy of souls and of their Al-mighty Creator.

We beseech women of culture to read and ponder well those lines of a man of the world, and to read them to husband and children,—to their young daughters above all. The timely regrets which their perusal is calculated to awaken may prevent eternal and unavailing regret

“The lost days of my life until to-day,

What were they, could I see them on the street,

Lie as they fell? Would they be ears of wheat

Sown once for food but trodden into clay?

Or golden coins squandered and still to pay?

Or drops of blood dabbling the guilty feet?

Or such spilt water as in dreams must cheat

The throats of men in Hell who thirst alway?

I do not see them here; but after death

God knows I know the faces I shall see,

Each one a murdered self, with low last breath.

‘I am thyself,—what hast thou done to me?’ ‘

‘And I—and I—thyself ‘ (lo each one saith),

‘And thou thyself to all eternity!’ ” * Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

Innocent girls, with their quick woman’s wit and the unerring instinct of pure hearts, will easily seize the poet’s pregnant meaning. Our lost days are dead leaves strewing the street along which we daily travel, lying as they fell and never to bloom or live again.

They are “ears of wheat” given to us to sow for food of life eternal, and which we have not cast into the furrow, but thrown on the highway to be “trodden into clay.”

They are “golden coins ” confided to our husbandry, with which the Giver intended we should purchase eternity, and we have squandered them against His will! But they are ” still to pay.” . . .

And presently, when youth has quickly passed, and old age is before us,—like the dry bed of a river out of which almost the last drop has been drained,—we would fain go back to drink of these sweet waters of our life ;— but they are like ” spilt water” thrown on the burning soil, and cheating the ever-thirsting throats of ” men in hell.”

We must not deceive ourselves: every moment of time is ourself living during that brief space, every hour and day, —is our own soul filling that hour and that day with its deeds of good or ill.

You have heard of the “transit” or passage of a star across the sun’s disk: astronomers watch it with their telescopes, and count by minutes and seconds the apparition of a little black speck on the bright round luminary while it moves rapidly across it to the opposite side to be apparently lost in the unmeasured heavens beyond.

The span of our life,—as compared with eternity, is like that bright broad face of the sun projected on the immensity of space behind it; and the stages of our passage through life are as brief and as rapid as the. transit of yonder planet across the sun.

At every minute and second it is “myself ” who am moving before the eye of the all-seeing and all-remembering God. I enter life like one emerging from the boundless void behind me, and appear moving, moving across the narrow circle of my life during the few fleeting years given me to exist,—and then I pass out of the sight of mortal man into that other limitless eternity beyond.

But brief as is my passage across the narrow sphere allotted to me,—I can merit, while it lasts, to shine forever “from eternity to eternity,” or to disappear forever from that heaven where my glory might have been commensurate in duration with that of the sun’s Creator.

Yes,—to God’s eye,—every moment of my existence here below is “myself passing over the circle of this life of trial,”—it is myself living for God, or forgetting Him, or working against Him, while the resistless motion of the heavens hurry me from my birth to my death, from time to eternity, from the use or abuse of the golden moments and days and hours to the terrible, unavoidable, and most righteous judgment of the eternal God.

When “my time” is past, and that judgment is at hand, I shall look back upon the misspent years,—each year shall be myself, looking my conscience full in the face,

“I am thyself—what hast thou done with me?’

And I—and I! “

And what I have made myself, by actual deadly guilt unrepented of, God will adjudge me to remain unchanged and unchangeable throughout all eternity!

We have known men, born, alas, amid wealth, and nursed in the lap of unlimited indulgence, who, having grown up in vice, without any other god but their animal appetite, and without any apparent sense of responsibility for youth and manhood wasted in eating, drinking, and dreaming,—would say to their own young children as these reproved them for their sloth: “What sin. am I committing? I am doing no one harm!”

Had they passed out of life, as these words were uttered, into the hands of Him who giveth to every one according to his way, and according to the fruit of his devices, they would have known what is the terrible and irreparable guilt of a wasted life.

It IS interesting, isn’t it, how, in the last decades, women are made to feel as if they are being “losers”, “nobodys” if they are dedicated to the home..They are not using their talents if they aren’t out working in the world.
Truly, I find that illogical. How many talents does it make to run a pleasant home, raise good children, have a healthy relationship with someone you rub shoulders with night and day? That, in itself, is a full-time job…not to mention if some are homeschooling, seeking out healthy alternatives, helping with their parish life, etc., etc.
No, it takes a brave, committed, responsible, hard-working adult to do what it takes to raise a Godly family in today’s society. -Finer Femininity, Painting by Alfred Rodriguez

Excellent sermon! Lukewarmness is the enemy of fervent souls. ” Being lukewarm is a spiritual disease, where one gradually slips from fervor due to a lessening of effort in prayer and other crucial acts of piety. If he doesn’t correct this, he will prepare himself for mortal sin. The best remedy against lukewarmness is (i) devotion to Blessed Mary, (ii) obey a good spiritual director and (iii) recommit to the duties of ones state of life.”

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My Mother ~ Fr. Bernard Vaughan, S.J.

08 Tuesday Nov 2022

Posted by in Motherhood, Parenting

≈ 1 Comment

by Father Bernard Vaughab, S.J., early 1900’s

I was only a little boy when we lost our mother. It was a loss I cannot think of even now, after half a century and more, without a shudder. To all of us she was the very ideal of everything that is lovely and holy.

We thought, and were brought up to think, that she was in every sense perfection. Hence her blessing was more to us even than her caress.

Well do I remember how we used to rush at her coming into the nursery to see who should be the first to kiss her hand with reverent devotion.

Then she would sit on the floor with half a dozen of us clinging to her, while she would give us her little crucifix and medals to venerate and fondle, or perhaps take out her watch, and placing it against the ear of one of us, would say, “Life is passing away just like that tiny ticking watch, but when the little heart stops beating here, we shall all know that God didn’t wind it up anymore because He wanted you home with Him for a never-ending holiday.”

Of course we used to kneel round her lap morning and evening to lisp after her our childlike prayers, and then were carried off, two in her arms, and others clinging to her skirts, to the chapel, where on great feasts we were privileged to kiss the altar-cloth, or even the altar itself.

Our mother reminded her children that, there in the Tabernacle, One who loved us more even than she did, was always abiding, ever ready to greet us when we went to see Him.

She loved her garden, but would have been shocked if the fairest flowers had been sent to her boudoir instead of to the chapel. She herself would gather nosegays for her children to place on our nursery altar or before the statue in her bedroom. When I look back it seems to me she could talk only about God, or the poor, or our father.

She made Heaven such a reality to us that we felt that we knew more about it, and liked it in a way far better even than our home, where, until she died, her children were wildly, supremely happy.

Religion under her teaching was made so attractive, and all the treasured items she gathered from the lives of the Saints made them so fascinating to us, that we loved them as our most intimate friends, which she assured us they most certainly were.

Our mother thought that it was her duty to teach her little ones in the nursery all manner of pious childlike practices, while the bigger children would often have to remind them not to forget God and His presence in their midst.

But it was of Our Lord’s Agony in the garden and His sacred Passion and Death that she never tired to remind us: “Look at those dear Five Wounds,” she would say; “fancy all that pain suffered, and all that blood shed, for you. You must never forget, no matter how long you live, to love more than anything on earth those Precious Wounds. If ever you are naughty and hurt God, it will be because you forget how much you have cost Him.”

What tricks and devices did we not resort to in order to be awake in the night nursery when, after dinner, Mother would pass from cot to cot blessing her children, crossing their hands upon their breast, and lulling them to sleep with such words as “Sweet Jesus, I do love Thee, Holy Mother of God, be a tender Mother to me, My good Angel, watch over me and keep me this night from all sin.”

It was not our mother’s practice to bring us any dainty from the dinner-table. We were never allowed to go down to dessert, our father thinking it might encourage greediness or undue fondness of food. We dined at our parents’ lunch and then were allowed to take what we liked.

I remember one day being offered some dish which I rejected with the incautious remark, “Thank you, Father, I don’t fancy it.” Should I live to the age of Methuselah I shall not forget how he turned upon me and in solemn voice said, “I do not wish any of my boys to indulge in fancies about food; fancies are the privilege of your sisters.”

On another occasion, when I had shown overmuch relish for some dish, my father reminded me that it was a poor thing to be a slave to any appetite or practice. Blushing to the roots of my hair, I ventured to retaliate, saying, ‘Well, Father, how is it that the snuffbox is brought to you every day at the end of dinner? — you always take out a big pinch.”

For a moment he was silent, and then made me fetch the box, and while in the act of tossing it into the fire he said, “There goes the box, and that is the end of that bit of slavery.”  His training was somewhat drastic, but it was a fine counterpart to that of the ever tender mother.

There were some fine customs which our father insisted on; for instance, that we should take our places with the village school children when they were catechized on Sunday afternoon in the chapel; and the chaplain was encouraged to be specially severe with us if we did not answer correctly.

Father liked us to give of what we had, and not merely our used-up toys, to the less well-off little ones, and nothing pleased him more than to see his children trudging off with their mother laden with good things for those who most wanted them.

When people expostulated with her for taking her children where they might catch something worse than a cold she would say, “Sickness would be a small price to pay for the exercise of this Christlike privilege — but God will take care of my children where my love fails.”

Her love of the poor was almost a passion, and but for her own children’s sake she would have parted with everything . Washing the bedridden, changing their bedding, sweeping their rooms, was the sort of thing in which she felt a real pride. Not even when she was very seriously ill would she call in any but the parish doctor, protesting that if he was good enough for her poorer sisters he would do very well for her.

As she herself could not seek perfection in the religious state, she strove to attain it in the sphere of life to which God had called her. I am told that she said the Divine Office daily, and when too ill to say it herself had it said for her. She died while Compline was being said in her room.

As a girl she had spent some considerable time in Paris receiving finishing lessons in drawing, painting, singing, and music, and nothing delighted us more than to gather about her in the round drawing-room, wild with joy, to hear her recite, or sing her own songs or hymns about Heaven as she accompanied herself on the harp. When our enthusiasm was thoroughly stirred she would pause to remind us that all this was but discord compared with what the rapturous music of Heaven would be. She was fond of whetting our appetites for Heaven.

In our mother’s time Courtfield was always so cheery, bright, and holy, that it used to be said in the county, “You nearly break your neck going, but more nearly break your heart leaving there.”

When I look back to those young days so crowded with life I cannot remember any quiet games entertaining us. Birds, dogs, other pets, and ponies were our chief delight. I fear we were dreadfully noisy, loving hare and hounds, blindman’s-buff, snapdragon, and above all theatricals, in which movement was a safety valve for what was called “the Vaughan spirits.”

On the Feast of Holy Innocents, when it was our custom to dress up in the habits of different religious orders, we used to hold high religious functions, and preach one another down till the result was a sort of pandemonium, ending in clouds of incense and a blaze of candles round the schoolroom statue, where we made peace.

I think I have sampled our early life fully enough for even an inordinate taste for childhood’s days, but I cannot end without referring to the irreparable loss that came upon us when God called our mother away. It was a catastrophe.

Personally I was too young fully to understand what had happened; what I do most vividly remember is going down to the library, where the blinds were drawn and everybody was in black.

I recollect my father’s grief-stricken countenance as, amid the sobs of his children, he called my eldest sister, Gladys, to his side, and, placing on her wrist my mother’s simple silver bracelet, with crucifix and medal attached, he told us that our mother had gone to Heaven and that the eldest girl must take her place.

I bit my lips, exclaiming internally, “She never shall with me.”

He said much more, but I did not quite understand what it all meant, or why everybody was crying. I felt sure, even if mother had gone to Heaven, she would somehow be back soon, for she was never away from us for long. It did not seem that one could possibly live without her.

Very gradually the reality of the loss came home to one, and then it seemed that nothing much mattered. We rarely spoke of mother because the mere mention of her name awakened feelings that could not be controlled.

Herbert even to the last was shy of speaking to me of her; sometimes when I ventured to plead for some of his reminiscences of her he would get red and hot, and after saying there was no one ever like her, he would turn to some other subject; and till shortly before his death he kept by him a tiny picture of :—

“That countenance in which did meet

Sweet records and promises as sweet.”

“We all carry two bags—each and every one of us—one is packed with virtue, the other our faults. I’m talking marriage here, when I say that somewhere between courtship and the seventh year many women have shifted their focus from one of adoration to fault finder. We start to analyze, dissect, and over analyze the faults that we find, hoping to reshape our husbands according to our version of the perfect man. Living in harmony requires patience on both sides as we work to rebuild our view of one another.” -The Good Wife’s Guide, Darlene Schacht

Painting by Robert Papp

November – The Month of the Holy Souls in Purgatory

The Suffering Souls are very powerful with God. You take care of them and they will be praying for you!
Novena for the Holy Souls in Purgatory

Prayer to Our Suffering Savior for the Holy Souls in Purgatory

O most sweet Jesus, through the bloody sweat which Thou didst suffer in the Garden of Gethsemane, have mercy on these Blessed Souls. Have mercy on them.
R. Have mercy on them, O Lord.

O most sweet Jesus, through the pains which Thou didst suffer during Thy most cruel scourging, have mercy on them.
R. Have mercy on them, O Lord.

O most sweet Jesus, through the pains which Thou didst suffer in Thy most painful crowning with thorns, have mercy on them.
R. Have mercy on them, O Lord.

O most sweet Jesus, through the pains which Thou didst suffer in carrying Thy cross to Calvary, have mercy on them.
R. Have mercy on them, O Lord.

O most sweet Jesus, through the pains which Thou didst suffer during Thy most cruel Crucifixion, have mercy on them.
R. Have mercy on them, O Lord.

O most sweet Jesus, through the pains which Thou didst suffer in Thy most bitter agony on the Cross, have mercy on them.
R. Have mercy on them, O Lord.

O most sweet Jesus, through the immense pain which Thou didst suffer in breathing forth Thy Blessed Soul, have mercy on them.
R. Have mercy on them, O Lord.

(Recommend yourself to the Souls in Purgatory and mention your intentions here)

Blessed Souls, I have prayed for thee; I entreat thee, who are so dear to God, and who are secure of never losing Him, to pray for me a miserable sinner, who is in danger of being damned, and of losing God forever. Amen.

Written by St. Alphonsus Liguori this novena has prayers for each day which are followed by the Prayer to Our Suffering Savior for the Holy Souls in Purgatory

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