The Wife Desired is Religious (Conclusion)


Part One is here.

Part Two is here.

Once an old lady came to me asking for a letter of recommendation of some type or other. As I wrote the letter the best I could, for I had never seen her before, I began to question her about her attendance at church. She admitted that she seldom if ever went.

On being asked if she did not think that she could better her life by practicing her religion she replied, “I never steal or kill anybody. Why should I go to church?”

Apparently she considered church a refuge for criminals, cutthroats, and outlaws….the likes of such she eschewed for she was a law abiding citizen.

On another occasion I was confronted with the declaration that a certain young wife never went to church for she did not want to be a hypocrite. Her assumption seemed to be that church should be some sort of nursery for young innocents.

Whether she judged those going to church to be innocents or hypocrites it is for the reader to decide. In any case, she felt that only the spiritually sound should be caught in church, should it burn down on a Sunday morning. If a person felt the sting of the flesh she had no business at church.

That a person neither a saint nor a devil could be found without shame in a church never occurred to her. She must have thought that it was downright dastardly for a sick person to go to a doctor, a hungry person to go to the grocery store, a dirty person to take a shower.

No doubt many hypochondriacs go to doctors about one more or less imaginary ache or another. Should the sick be such victims of human respect as to shun doctors lest they be considered hypochondriacs? There may be some hypocrites in church. But who is to pass that judgment?

Are the self-appointed judges looking down their noses at their poor, weak, sinful neighbors at church–are these the real hypocrites vaunting themselves in self- rightfulness over churchgoers?

Since it has been rumored around that the Son of God became man, redeemed mankind, and became the way, the truth, and the light for all to attain their eternal happiness, lots of people have acquired the habit of going to church.

They go to church because they believe that there they will find the blueprints for a good life. Briefly, they believe that at church they will find God. There they will receive the help which they need to measure up to the ideal of their state of life.

They go to grocery stores because they believe that there they will find bread and butter. They follow a doctor’s advice in order to guard their health.

These beliefs are rather deep seated in the human mind. It will take a good deal of sophistry to disabuse mankind of these beliefs.

It is always exasperating to hear stupid statements of the type that such and such a wife, admittedly a failure as a wife, went to church. The innuendo always is that going to church was a waste of time.

Did her attendance make her less a wife? Who could criticize a wife for frequenting the grocery store because she had carelessly killed her husband with ptomaine poison?

The wife desired must be religious because she must love her husband. The best and simplest definition of love is to wish another well. How can a wife wish her husband well except she wish him the only absolute good?

She will not even think of leading her husband to God, much less be successful at so doing, unless she herself makes an effort to remain close to God.

If a wife does not find God at church, it is not the fault of the church. A wife approaches the ideal all the more by practicing her religion.

Surely every marriage counselor has dealt with church-going failures at marriage. Yet from my own experience I am certain that this type of failure is more the exception than the rule.

The failure as a wife is much more likely to be one who never had any religion, or who abandoned it, or who became indifferent and careless about its practice.

The truly religious wife finds God at church and from Him receives the strength to become the ideal helpmate to her husband. She does not leave God at church but keeps Him with her every minute of the day in every nook and cranny of her home.

Each menial, repetitious task she must perform is a work of love for her husband and children, and through them, a work of love for her Creator.

Reverent conversation with God is one of the best and simplest definitions of prayer. The habit of prayer springs from a consciousness of God in our lives. He is all about us. Through prayer we become more aware of His presence.

No woman will attain the goal of success and happiness as a desirable wife, unless her efforts are supplemented with God’s help. She who builds without God builds in vain.

No woman can reach by the natural powers of her soul the ideals set forth in this little book. God must help her, is willing and anxious to help her if she but dispose herself.

The wise wife recognizes her need of God. Frequently she tells Him of her insufficiency. To inspire her husband, to be patient, to be unselfish and loyal, to be the dozen and one other wonderful things a desirable wife must be without in the least ever appearing to be a “goody-goody”–all this postulates the presence of God always at her side.

Since no woman can hope to escape completely the failings of our weak natures, the ideal wife will have her moments of failure. She goes down on her knees, in spirit at least, and asks God for the courage to begin anew.

Because gratitude is the badge of nobility of soul, the happy wife tells God of her joy. She thanks Him for His many graces not the least of which is a husband capable of bringing out the best in her.


“If you want your husband to trust you with his heart as he once did, it’s important to practice self-control, hold your tongue, and replace criticism with kindness. Listen when he talks and make an effort to show him respect.” -Darlene Schacht
“The truth is, the less you communicate your complaints, negative thoughts, and criticisms to your husband, the better your intimacy will be, and the stronger your marriage.” – Laura Doyle


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